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Wheels on Meals

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Wake up!
Let's go!
Who's that?
You bastard!|Don't you ever come out again!
Fighting with your wife again?
I didn't come home last night!
Then you asked for it!
Do you think I want this?
My girlfriend threatened to kill herself|if I didn't stay!
It was a matter of life and death!|What was I supposed to do?
What's a married man like you|doing with a girlfriend?
We Italians are a people of love.
We can't live without it.
All Chinese want to do is work.|You wouldn't understand.
We do understand.|We're just a bit more selective.
We have to go to work.|What are you going to do?
I can't go out! My wife will kill me!
Then move aside and let us go.
She'll kill you both too!
We'll leave from the balcony.|You have fun hiding here!
What about the Spaniard downstairs?
Don't worry. Watch me!
Hey, I'll go first!
Are you all right?
Don't you Chinese know how to|use the stairs?
The Italian couple|is fighting on the stairway!
Come on.
Why did you signal me to jump?
I signaled you NOT to jump!
You should've said so!|I was about to...
What did you say?
but you already jumped!
Private Investigator Matt?
What on earth are you doing?
Nothing...l was just exercising...
Why didn't you get the light fixed?
The light is fine.|It's the power that's been cut.
When the electric company owes you,|they take forever to pay you back.
But they sure are efficient,|when you owe them!
What about me... no pay for three months|and I still come to work everyday!
What are you trying to say?
If it weren't for me,
you wouldn't have a job at all!
Without a job,|what right do you have to stay in Spain?
That's true.
But if I had some money, I could|have paid the electric bill for you.
Now you're talking!
Anybody come for me?
Just some guys from the phone company.
What business do they have with me?
None.|They just came to take the phone away.
That explains why it's so quiet here.
Oh, a bald guy named Alfonso|also came looking for you.
Did he come alone?
No, he was with two huge muscle men.
What did he want?
He said you promised to settle
a gambling debt of 100,000|pesetas yesterday.
Right... That was our secret code.
That means he has a new lead on a case.
He asked when you'd be back.
The next time he comes,|tell him I'm out of town on business.
That's another coded message meaning...
You better tell him the coded|message yourself.
He said he'd be back at noon.
Which is about now.
What? Why didn't you tell me earlier!
What's the big deal?|ls that another coded message?
Exactly. It's practically|a matter of life and death!
Meaning I have to|find a place to hide now!
As of this minute,
you are the Acting Chairman|of this agency.
You are in charge when I'm not around.
That is a promotion, isn't it?
Then what about a raise...?
It's hopeless!
Acting Chairman... is still a Chairman.
Better put on a tie.
Please have a seat.|Before you ask me to take your case,
please listen to|my principles of business.
Murder and arson, I do not do.|Burglary and theft, I do not do,
because I don't have the guts to do.
Now you may tell me|what I can do for you.
I'd like for you to find someone for me.
Finding a missing person? I've never...
You have not done that before?
I've never failed in|locating a person before!
I didn't know you were...
Chinese?|That's right, descendant of the Dragon!
I won't take up too much of your time.
I want you to help me find a woman.
Named Gloria and her children.
A boy and a girl?
No. There's actually only one child.
Then is it a boy or a girl?
That you'll have to|find out for yourself.
Here's some information on Gloria.
The information is incomplete,
and the picture was taken 22 years ago.
That's a tough assignment.
I'd do it myself if it were easy.
Should you decide to take my case.
You must abide by two conditions.
I have a condition too.|But let's hear yours first.
First,|this case must be kept confidential.
Second, you must find this child|for me within 14 days.
Here is some money for your expenses.
You'll get US$20,000 more if you deliver.
Now you can tell me your condition.
My condition is|I accept all your conditions.
That's perfect.|You may reach me at this number.
Trying to test me?
What are you doing?
My liquid preserver is better than|any lamination.
Then I'll wait for your good news.
Let's get to work.
Here, go get us some business!
Hey, Chinese boy, a Coke please.|Okay.
What would you like?|Coffee with cream.
Coffee with cream, coming right up.
Something to eat?|No.
Something to eat, Boss?
A cup of 22, and a box of 16.
Right away.
Would you like something to drink,|Picasso?
Coca Cola.|Coca Cola.
Here are the orders.
Beautiful day... Beautiful business.
Beautiful rice!|That's a bit too much.
Nunchukas!|Here's yours.
And yours.
Lady Boss, this is yours.|Thank you.
Hey, what's going on?
Look at all the dust and fumes!|We can't eat here! Let's go.
Hey! Hey!|How am I going to do business like this?
We were incredible!
Hey, can you guys go elsewhere?
What's it to you?
You're ruining my business!
Why don't you go elsewhere yourself,|kiddo!
What? What are you going to do about it?
Let's have a race right in this square.
The loser picks up the tab for tonight.
Good! I'll be the referee.|Ready. Go!
Move if you know what's good for you!
Faster... Faster!
Hey, where are all our customers?
All scared away by the Hell's Angels.
I'll ask them to leave.
Save your breath. I've already tried.
Pack up and move the car.
We're going to play Robin Hood!
My mother told me not to fight.
Did your mother tell you not to|mess around here?
Yes, but it slipped my mind.|I'm going home right now.
I won't fight you two. I'm leaving.
Let's get back to work.
May I see your pass?
When will your father|be out of the hospital?
You think he has hemorrhoids?
He's mentally ill.|God knows when he'll be out.
Oh no! A flat tire!
Don't worry. We have a spare.
Who said I was worried?|I just said "Oh no!"
Then you shouldn't have said that!
What should I say then?
You should say, "Ha! Ha! A flat tire!"
What normal person would say that?
Ha! Ha! A flat tire!
You're right!|Normal person would not say that!
Let's change the tire.
Do you have a magnet?
No. What do you need a magnet for?
Then I can tie a string around it.
Why would you want to tie a string|around a magnet?
So I can lower|the magnet into the gutter.
Are you all right?|I'm fine.
Then why would you want to lower|a magnet into the gutter?
To get the nuts back.
What do you need the nuts for?
You mean the nuts for that?
You are smart.
How do we get the nuts out?|Unless we have a magnet.
There you go.
Then we're stuck.
I didn't know people with no brains
can survive in this world!
And you have brains?
Yes, a little rusty maybe,|but better than yours.
So what!
You can take one nut out of each|Of the three remaining tires.
Then you'll have a total of three nuts.
Use the three nuts on the loose tire|and drive slowly back to town.
That's a great idea!
Hey, you're so smart, why are you here?
I'm here because I'm crazy!
Not because I'm dumb!
Dumb and crazy are two completely|different things!
Do you understand, dumb pigs?
I better not waste|my time with you anymore.
I'm going to play on another beach.
Come on, let's take care of this.
What's he doing?|Who knows!
Ask him.|I don't want to.
Don't worry, then I'll ask him.
What are you doing, pal?
I'm a clock. I'm ticking.
Oh... What time is it then?|2:30.
No. It's 2:45.
Oh no, I'm running slow!
Hey, what's your father doing?
He's fishing.
Dad, I've brought Thomas to visit you.
Sh... You're scaring my fish away!
How are you, Mr. Chan? Are you bored?
The whole world is boring.
Have you found|a girlfriend for David yet?
There are not too many Chinese girls|in Spain.
Spanish girls are just the same.|Love transcends nationality.
Hey, your father has a complete|change of heart.
I'm a little worried about him.
Oh, isn't that funny?
Mr. Chan, what is he doing?
He's telling himself ajoke.
And that's how it ended.|Isn't that funny?
Why he's not laughing now?
He's heard that joke many times.
He thinks he's Columbus!|Really?
Well? How are you?
Fishing? Catch one for me too!
I know I'm crazy. But you too?
How can I catch a fish from a bucket?
You father is definitely getting better.
The alarm!
It's time for my date.|I don't mind if you guys tag along.
Your father is in such a rush.|Who's he meeting?
I don't know.
That's why love transcends nationality.
No wonder the doctor said|he was getting better.
Where's your mother?|She's making herself up.
She doesn't want you to wait long.
So she sent me to let you know.
I don't mind waiting at all.
Tell her to take her time.
I know what you're thinking.
I know what you think I'm thinking.
But I'm definitely|not thinking that at all.
I'm not thinking you're thinking that.
I know you're thinking that because|I'm thinking that myself.
Since we're both thinking about that,
that means we agree.
That's right. That means we both|should not be doing that.
She's gorgeous!
She belongs to my father.|Stop thinking...
I've stopped thinking.
Mr. Chan, we'll be on our way.
I'll come visit again next week, Dad.
Not yet.|You haven't met my girlfriend yet.
That's all right.
Here she comes.
Gloria. You look exquisite today!
I've missed you so.
I know what you're thinking.
I know what you're thinking too.
We're thinking about the same thing.|What are we waiting for then?
I've got to run. Goodbye, Mom.|Goodbye, Mr. Chan.
Tell your father we're leaving too.|Okay.
Dad, we're leaving.|That's right, Mr. Chan.
Wait, I want you to meet Gloria.
This is my son, David,|and this is his good friend.
Now run along and leave us alone.
Come on.
She's waiting for a taxi.
That's our chance.
You go over there and tell her|we'll give her a ride.
She can save on taxi fare.
What if she insists on taking a taxi?
She won't say that!
You're so confident,|why don't you talk to her.
I'll go get the car.
I'm giving you a chance to try it out.
You go and I'll get the car. Go!
Miss... the taxi is here.
She turned you down?
No. I didn't ask.
You are so useless.
The result might have been the same.
Of course not!
Without asking, you had a zero chance.
Had you asked,|you would have had a 50% chance.
Elegant yet warm, she may be a princess.
A princess with a crazy mother?
Anything's possible.
That's true. Come on.
Two thousand pesetas?|Even your mother is worth more than that!
Don't be nasty.|I'm sure we can work this out.
How about four thousand pesetas?
Thomas, two coffees please.
Isn't it a little early?
It won't take him that long.
While you're there, remember to get them|to settle their account.
Thomas, how much do I owe you?
Jennifer. 1,250 pesetas.
Here's 1,300.|Keep the 50 pesetas for your tips.
Thank you.
Can I take a spring roll? Thank you.
Thought she was so generous.|That spring roll costs 70 pesetas!
Are you new?
Miss, what's your price?
15,000 pesetas.
Wow, how about 3,000?
Save the money for your retirement.
2,000.|Get lost.
Hey, I saw the princess.
Are you kidding?|She wouldn't come to a place like this.
I thought I might be mistaken.
Why don't you go see for yourself?
15,000 pesetas? That's $100 U.S. dollars.|That's fair. Let's go.
She's really going with him!
Let her be. It's her business.
Don't get so worked up!
Oh, you two are interested?|You've treated me to many spring rolls.
Now it's my turn to repay you.
Thanks, but no thanks!
She was so elegant.|Turned out she's just the same...
Not the same. She's more expensive.
She's probably just short on cash.|Hey, how much do you have?
Why?|Hand it over.
I've about 20,000. Even spending|the night doesn't cost this much!
What are you talking about?
I was just going to give her the money|and tell her to go home.
So she's got a night off.|Then what about tomorrow?
Pal, there are so many hookers|on this street.
They each have their sad stories.|How can we help them all?
We can't even afford to give them each|a free spring roll!
Get to work!
You took my wallet?
Hey, stop! Stop...
A thief...
Did you see a girl running pass here?
What kind of girl?
She's tall with long hair and|is wearing a red dress.
You should always watch your wallet|in places like this.
What's wrong with you?
I have a headache. I think it was|from the heat this afternoon.
So what do you want to do?
I want to pack up and go home.
Let's take care of this last order|and we'll go.
Thomas, have you seen|a girl this tall and skinny?
This tall and this skinny?|That's right.
There are many over there.
Be serious.
Now what?|We'll keep looking.
So Princess is not only a hooker.
She's also a pickpocket.
Maybe the guy just left his wallet|elsewhere and blamed it on her.
Don't accuse anybody unless you see it|with your own two eyes.
We're home now.
You think I don't know that?
I wasn't talking to you.
You sneaky rat.|No wonder you weren't feeling well.
I was afraid you would be upset with me.|Glad you're not.
I'm sorry it was so uncomfortable.|Let's get out.
Miss, I'm afraid we can't give you|a ride home.
Did I say I want to go home?
Then why don't you come up|for a little while?
Are you trying to signal me|not to invite her up?
No. I grabbed the wrong hand.|Our apartment is right upstairs.
It is our pleasure. Welcome!
Looks like Valentino is home tonight.
Hey, Grasshopper. Long time no see!
It's you, Moby! Have a drink.
I can't get drunk today.
Have you seen Fatso?
I just got here myself.|Is it something important?
You're very clever.|It is something important.
I'm now the Acting Chairman|of Matt's Detective Agency.
But keep this to yourself.
Of course! Who do you take me for?
Your punishment is|to have another drink!
I really can't get drunk today. So long.
Ola, Moby, it's been a long while.|Have a drink.
Just one.|Okay.
I'll have another.
Have you seen Fatso?
No. What do you want him for?
Can I trust you guys?
This is not the first day we met.
Just keep your secret to yourself.
We're keeping enough secrets already.
All right. Listen closely.
Promise you|won't tell anyone about this.
I'm now the Acting Chairman
of Matt's Detective Agency.
I need Fatso for some very|important information.
That calls for celebration. Drink!
Thank you.|Cheers.
Moby's been promoted.
I really can't get drunk today.|I have to go find Fatso.
Congratulations, Moby!
Cheers... Cheers... Cheers!
Keep my little secret to yourselves.
Don't tell anyone!
Darling? This is Moby.
A kiss? Sure.
No. How could I forget you?
I've been very busy.
I swear that's the truth.
All right. All right.
Stop faking it.|She probably has a face of a pig.
Tonight? I really can't make it tonight.
All right. Another kiss?
Okay, a kiss. Listen up.
Was that loud enough for you?|Just hold on.
It's your wife.
Come in.
I'll kill you for fooling around.
Come out right now! Let me shoot you.
Susanna, let's talk about this.
I've nothing to say. The bastard|even has lipstick on his underwear!
Honey, I'm innocent.
Those were ladies panties, not mine!
Then what are you doing in them?
It was an honest mistake.
I'm going to kill him.|I'm going to kill him!
That's our door!|Get out of my way!
We will ifyou point|that rifle the other way.
Let go!
Why are you grabbing me?
Wow, bouncy! You're upset because|you're afraid of losing him.
If you kill him,|then there's really nothing left.
That was probably just a one-nighter.|He's still yours.
If you kill him,|you won't be able to find another man.
I know I still love him very much.
Then go talk him out of our apartment.
Dino... Dino...
Why don't you answer me?
Do you know how much I love you?
Me too.
Do you still remember when we first met?
Yes. It was love at first sight.|Really?
You're my whole life.
I'll have nothing if I don't have you!|Dino...
You bastard!
I'm going to kill you...|think you can run away? You pig!
Sorry to have imposed on you.
That's all right.
I have no plans to leave tonight.
You don't like that?
Sure I do, if she's not afraid of us.
What's there to be afraid of?|That's right...
What's there to be afraid of?
Of your sleepwalking!
Fatso, what happened?
Have you been robbed?|Good thing I was late.
You're too heavy to move.
Hey, what really happened?
That's all right.|It's none of my business anyway.
Now I have some questions for you|that you must answer.
When you were the major pimp|on Sunset Boulevard 18 years ago,
did you know a Gloria?
She might have been pregnant|or just had a baby at the time.
The guys who beat you up just now|came for Gloria too?
Did you tell them?|I didn't...
That's good.
I didn't want to,|but they beat me up real bad.
So you do know Gloria's whereabouts.
Not now... before.
Man, can you speak a little clearer?
Where did Gloria use to live?
62 Thanksgiving Street.
You're not worried about|her itchy fingers?
Oh, we can just hide our money.
What if she really tries to steal|and can't find any money?
Then she'll know we've taken precautions,|and her feelings will be hurt.
That's true.
Then let's just keep a few bills|in our wallets.
If she did steal,|it would be a bargain price
to pay to get to know her.
That's a great idea, Four Eyes!
Did you give her the shirt?|Yes.
She looks better in it than you.
Are you two talking about me?|Pretty.
I heard more than just one word.
Pretty, pretty, pretty...
Have you decided|where I'm going to sleep?
In...|The living room.
Thanks. My name is Sylvia.
My name is David.
And I'm Thomas.
Good night.
I'm not sleepy yet. You guys go ahead.
I want to watch a little TV.
I'll turn the TV on for you!|Thank you.
I'm going to bed.
You'll sleep much better|with this pillow.
Can I get you a glass of water?
Sure. Thanks.
It gets cold here in the mornings.|Here's a blanket for you.
Thank you so much.|It's my pleasure.
Water?|Let me pour you a glass of milk instead.
That sounds good too.
Thank you.
Let's not waste time.
Which one of you|wants to go first tonight?
It's all the same to me.
We'll sleep in our own beds!
Good morning.|Good morning.
Was everything all right last night?
It was fine.
That's good.
Hey, have you seen my car?
Susanna, my car has been stolen.
My car's been stolen.
I'm going to the cops now.
Princess left so early?
See? My money is still|lying safely in my wallet.
I was just being prudent.
You must have faith in this world.
My money's all gone!
I told you so.|Listen to the voice of experience.
I knew she had her eye on our money.
Your money in the drawer was like
a 24-hour ATM machine to her.
Shoes, on the other hand,|are a much smarter idea.
Damn! She took all my money too!
That's at least fair.
I told you not to|let her spend the night!
This is the first time|I've heard that from you.
She has guts! That's the end|of all our hard earned money.
Now that's an incorrect accusation.|She didn't take everything.
If only I could see her again!
I feel the same way.
What would you do?
I'd ask if she needed more money.
What's the matter with you?|Don't you know how to drive?
Do you have a license?
I'm sorry, Sir. It's my fault.|I'll pay for the damages.
That goes without saying!
Look at the dent!|It won't be the same again!
I'm so sorry.|Please forgive me just this once.
You're lucky you ran|into a nice guy like me.
But it's very dangerous|to drive like that.
My brother always told me|to give up driving.
And now, another accident!
My brother's name is Dino Martini.|This is his car.
You give him a call|and he'll have your car fixed.
I'm running late.|I've got to go to work.
Call me some time. We'll have lunch.
All right. All right.|Thanks.
Back up...
Who's there?
What do you want?
We want you to come with us.
To the police station?
You're not cops and|I don't even know you.
Where do you want to take me?
Some place fun. Now cooperate.
And what if I don't?
If you don't cooperate,|we'll force you to cooperate.
Let me go! Let me go!!
Let me...
Come on! Go after the girl!
Let's split up and search.
I wonder why Moby wants to meet us|at the disco.
I'm sure he's up to no good again.
When we see him,|just say no to everything he asks.
Have a seat.
Can't say no to that!|That's true.
What would you gentlemen like to drink?
Three beers and a bottle of XO.
How's the meals on wheels business?
No good, worse than our waitering days.
How's the catering van working out|after the conversion?
No good. It's even worse|than before it was converted.
Is Mr. Chan feeling better now?
No good. It's worse than before|he went into the hospital.
Really? He was already going after|people with knives!
Don't listen to him.|He's doing much better now.
That's good. Our drinks are here.
Come on.|Let's drink to Mr. Chan's health.
No. We don't want to.
Can't say no to that! Cheers!
This "just say no"|business isn't working.
Let's try another trick.
I need you guys to help me out.
A girl ran into me this morning.
Oh, the dog of the store
around the corner just had four puppies!
What do the puppies have to do
with my car accident?
Then what does your car accident|have to do with us?
Please hear me out.
After the accident,|the girl gave me a card.
Said the car belonged to her brother.
That still has nothing to do with us.
But when I found this guy,|he said he didn't even have a sister.
Plus, his car was just stolen.
Then I gave him|a description of the girl.
He said it sounded like the girl|you brought home last night.
Even if it were true,|it still has nothing to do with us.
That's right.
Oh, the girl gave me some money|to give to the both of you.
She's really returning the money?
Not returning. Just giving.
What do you mean give? She stole this|money from our apartment last night!
So you were her victims too.
And you still say it has nothing|to do with you?
Whatever you say.|Just hand over the money.
Wait. This isn't the money.
She still has the money.
I think I better get some exercise.
Me too.
Can you tell me where this girl|usually hangs out?
Her home.
Any place she goes everyday?
The ladies room.
Don't mess around. Tell me the truth.
The truth? The truth is we don't know!
All right. Forget it.
Come on. Please tell me!
I thought you just said forget it.
Please give me at|least something to go on.
We've already said we don't know.
Fine. Forget I even asked you!
I'm sorry I ever met you two!|I thought we were friends.
We are fellow Chinese.
And you won't even help me
with a small favor!
It's not like I'm the Red Cross|asking you for your blood!
I can hear me fine.
Why you can't?
Even the worst Spaniards are better|than you!
What did you say? I can't hear|you over the loud speakers! Louder!
Sorry. My fault.
Okay. You got me again.
Who do you think Sylvia is?
She's a Spaniard.
Nonsense. I meant why is she wanted|by so many people?
Because she's beautiful.
She's no retard! She's very bright!
I meant you!
Long time no see. How are you?
Long? It's been less than 24 hours!
They want to force me to do something|against my will!
Friend, you should be nice to ladies.
What to kick me? Try it now!
What's going on?
Ask them!
The girl picked my wallet.
These two are her accomplices.
Stop right there!
She fooled us again! Never believe|anything she says ever again!
You better remind yourself.
I never trusted her from the beginning.
Just look at the two of us now!
No need to overreact!|It's you.
It's you!
I came to thank you.
If it weren't for you,|I'd have had to spend the night in jail.
Don't thank us.
Ifwe had known|why they were chasing you,
we wouldn't have helped at all.
Tell her not to go yet.
I thought you said...|Call her back.
Don't go yet!
We want to ask you something.
Would you mind coming up to|our apartment for a little while?
I was afraid you'd never ask!
You said you have something to ask her.
I've decided it's best that|you ask instead.
I would like to ask...|if you'd like something to drink.
Red wine please.
That's okay. I'll get the drink.
Cut to the chase!
Remember you spent the other night here?
The next morning, we found out that...|My shirt was still here.
And the blanket was neatly folded.
Money! Gone!
But we were missing... missing... you.|That you'd left.
Fine. You can take a break.|I'll do the asking.
What David meant to ask was the other|night when you spent the night,
did you steal our money?|Yes.
The people that were chasing you.|Did you steal from them too?
Don't be so rude!
Rude? You ask then.
But why?
You're so pretty.|You could have easily... easily...
What he meant was|with a body like yours,
you could have done quite well
even as a hooker.
I detest people calling me a hooker!
I use my brain, not my body!
My body is not for sale!
Miss, I'm only the interpreter.
You should have slapped him instead.
But it's still not|a good thing to steal.
My mother went into the asylum|when I was 14 years old.
I've had to support myself since.
No one has even given me a chance.
All the men I've met,|no matter what they said,
the bottom line was the same.|They wanted my body.
That's true.|Those were his first thoughts too.
To these men,
stealing their money was like|teaching them a lesson.
Remember this lesson
when you see the next pretty girl.
I told you not to get involved.
I didn't mean the two of you.
After tonight,
I know you're good men.
I'll try to get the money back to you|as soon as possible.
No hurry.|I just wanted to understand why.
When you can,|go ahead and pay him back first.
I'm not like him. He was saving the|money to get married in Hong Kong.
That's not true.|The money was for emergencies.
That means he doesn't need it.|Pay me first then.
Any which way.|Just so long as the money is legal.
Thomas and I were just saying.
Your mother|and my father are good friends.
We can't just|let you carry on like this.
Is that right?|Yes.
But he was afraid you're already|too far gone.
If given a choice,
who would not choose a normal life?
What if you were given a choice?
Then I would try to start over again.
That's good enough. Four Eyes, didn't|you always say you needed an extra hand?
No. I never said that!
Oh yes! But...
He doesn't know if you can stick it out.
How would you know if you don't|give me a chance?
All right.|You're on probation for three months.
Wait. I want to talk to you.
Come with me!
What are you doing? What do you want?
Can you listen to me?
I'm not after you for my wallet.
I just wanted to|take you to see someone.
I think this meeting|will be beneficial to you.
Will you come?
Why do you cry for help?|I mean you no harm.
I'm actually a private investigator.
My job will be done if you'd only|go see this man with me.
Can you do me just this one small favor?
Please trust me and don't cry for help.
Then I'll let you go. Okay?
I practically grew up on the streets.
You think I'm that easily conned?
Don't waste your time.
Where?|Over there.
Don't come near me! I mean it!
Thank you.
Don't say I didn't warn you!
Sylvia is delivering an order|to a very dangerous place.
You'll live to regret it|if you don't believe me.
Let me borrow your bench.
Where?|Over there.
What do we do now?
Just pack up and go rescue her.
Don't run!
Let me go!|Let her go!
Don't come any closer!
Come on.
Get in, quick!
Use the cars!
That's my car! That's my car!
Faster! They're right behind us!
I can't take this anymore.
Then sit on my lap.|You wish!
Go sit in the back! Go!
Back up! Back up!
Driving like a maniac!
Good thing mine is a race car.|Otherwise I'd be in big trouble.
Drive more carefully next time!
It's a dead end!|Let's do it!
Sit tight!
You were great!|They're not following us anymore!
I know that! But they're in front of us!
We'll see if you have the guts|to hit me head on!
Excuse me.|Let's try out my newest weapon.
Ready, aim, shoot!
I'll give it a shot too!
Ready for some olive oil?
Try this on for size!
Let's make it a little more interesting.
How's it going out there?
The enemy has been defeated!
So many of you and the girl|still managed to get away.
The only explanation is that|you are incompetent!
Morons, what use are you to me?
You've wasted six days.|Now I only have eight days left.
God made the world in six days.
Eight days is more than enough
to get a girl...
Then whether I can become the Count's
successor is all up to you.
Who do you think...
You first.
Who do you think those people were?
Now its your turn.
You've already said it!
This was not the first time|they tried to kidnap me.
That's right.
Why didn't you say something? lf I had|a gun, you would have been dead!
You don't think I would duck?
Those people will|keep coming after Sylvia
until they have her.
Who are those people?|Bad guys.
How do you know?
Because I'm a good guy.
Please tell me what this is all about.
Actually, it was quite simple.|Although it is now getting complicated.
There are 2 groups of people. The first|group consists of those we've just met.
The second group consists of|only one person me.
I'm officially looking for Sylvia.
Those guys want to kidnap her|by any illegal means.
My reason for wanting Sylvia is|I need to deliver her to my client.
About those other guys? I don't know.
I'm even more confused than before.
It's like you've said nothing.
You should know why your client|is looking for me.
You're right. I should.
However, my client did not wish
to tell me his reasons.
As such, what I should know...|I don't know.
So Moby, Private Eye.
Can you tell us one thing|that you do know?
I can tell you two things.
First, it's very dangerous here.
Why? Do you smell gas?
You don't believe me.|There's nothing I can do.
Second, if Sylvia wants to find out|what this is about,
then she should come with me|to see my client.
I know one thing too.|What?
I have a dimwitted
private investigator in my apartment.
You don't have to believe me,|but you can't insult me.
It's not that|we don't want to believe you.
Please tell us. How long have you been|a private investigator?
Six days.
That's not even a full week yet.
We'd be insulting our|IQ if we believe you.
Just forget it.
You've not only insulted me,|you've hurt my feelings.
Moby, you hold down the fort.|We'll take off!
Let's go from the balcony.|Moby, we're going!
Moby, hang in there!
Four Eyes, you go down first.
Come on!
Moby, come on!
Why are we running?
They want to kidnap Sylvia!
So they do!|And there's nothing we can do?
Can't we fight back?
They have five or six guys.
David and I are used to fighting|more than 10 guys.
Including spectators?
Let Four Eyes and I demonstrate for you.
You stay with Sylvia.
They're tough!|They're more than tough!
Then what are we waiting for?
Come on.
Where the heck is this?
This is the headquarters of filth.
This is a dead end. Turn back!
What do we do now?
Find a place to hide first.
Who has a flashlight?|I do.
Turn it off and save your batteries.
Look at each one carefully.
This place stinks.
I know. Be patient.
Hey, I don't see them over here.
I know I saw them coming in here.|Let's look again.
Oh... What a relief!
I can't stand it anymore.
We have to or we'll be in big trouble.
I can't take this anymore!!
That Fatso!
Leave it up to him to give us away!
Run! What are you waiting for?
Free money here! Come and get it!
Move aside! Move aside!
They can't be far away! Go!
What do you want?|I love to help people.
I'm glad to hear that.
How can I help you?
Someone has paid us to push you off.|Why don't you jump off yourself?
Hey... You have the wrong guy!
Don't think so.
Who hired you then?|I did.
You hired someone to kidnap me.
Now I've also hired them to make|Superman out of you. Push him off!
No... Help!
Help! Please listen to me.
I'm your father...|He's you father?
You're my father?
No, no. I'm your father's butler.
You better tell me the whole story.
Your father is Count Lobas.
20 years ago, Gloria worked for him.
One night while the Countess was away...
The Count raped her.
Gloria got pregnant. The Count was afraid|his wife might find out.
So he quietly sent Gloria away.
Son of a bitch!
But he's your father!
I hate him. I never want to see him.
He already passed away.
Before he died,
he begged the Countess|to find you and your mother,
so his evil brother Mondale would not|inherit his fortunes.
For your own safety,|I did not want to tell
my reasons for looking for you.
For that same reason,|I even hired the worst P.I.
Fortunately, Moby's not here.|Who says I'm not here?
I'm not that fortunate.
What I wanted to find out,|no one would tell me.
What I don't want to hear... Well.
But it turned out|I'd come to the right guy.
According to the Lobas family tradition,
Sylvia and her mother|have to appear within 14 days.
Otherwise, his evil brother Mondale
will inherit his entire fortune.
Those men after Sylvia must|have something to do with Mondale.
There are still three days left.
Hey, where are you two going?
We wanted to help Sylvia because
we thought she was helpless.
But now it turns out|she is the Count's daughter.
She has no use for us anymore.
You're saying...
that you'll only hang out with Sylvia|if she's poor and helpless?
Now that you've found out that she's|the Count's daughter,
you don't want to be friends|with her anymore?
We really did want to help her.
Do you know then that this is
when she needs help the most.
Don't you want her and her mother|to have a better life?
Of course.|But you can take care ofthat!
But I'm just one man.
You've seen Mondale's men.
There are still a few days left.|He won't give up now.
If you still consider|yourselves Sylvia's friends,
you wouldn't abandon her now.
Enough already.
We almost feel bad|enough to jump off from here.
Let's devise a plan to get|Sylvia's mother out.
What? What are you looking at?|Want me to try this knife on you?
Don't come any closer or I'll kill you!
Don't run, friend!
Let me go! What?
Let me go...
Relax, Calm down.
Untie me, let me go
All done.
Untie me.
That's too risky.|We don't want to be found out. Lie down.
Turn off the siren.
I saw my mother and Mr. Chan|dancing over there.
What's going on?
Your father and her mother are dancing|over there.
There's a nut case.
His mouth is moving.|Is he talking or eating?
I hate to guess.
I'm not crazy, pal. I'm sane.
Please untie me.
Are you really as sane as us?
Why don't you test his intelligence?
Now listen closely. 3 worms line up|in one straight line, moving forward.
The first worm says,|"there are two worms behind me."
The last worm says,|"there are two worms ahead of me."
But the worm in the middle says,
"there are no worms|ahead of or behind me."
Why is that?
The middle worm is blind.|No.
Then I don't know.
You shouldn't have given him|such a difficult question.
Was the question too difficult?|Way too difficult.
Why did the middle worm say
"there were no worms|ahead of or behind him?"
Because the middle worm was lying.
Worms don't know how to lie!
Never mind him.|Why were you tied up here?
This is a secret.|I can't tell just anyone.
Come closer and I'll whisper it to you.
Don't tell anyone else. That's it.
So you see, I had to fake|being crazy to get in here.
What did he tell you?
He said, "Don't tell anyone else."
Am I anyone else? What did he say?
He said, "Don't tell anyone else."
You're not going to tell me?
You bully me all day long.|I'm going to let you have it!
Hey... Now I am really stuck.
Friend, what did you tell him?
Why should I tell you?
I'll untie you if you do.
You? I don't trust you.
Wait. You were going to tell me.
I said, "Don't tell anyone else." Okay?
Hm... What was it that I was not to|tell anyone else?
Why would they ask us to leave?|It's so nice in here.
What are you all waiting for? Let's go.
We can't.
My mother doesn't want to go without|Mr. Chan and Mr. Chan doesn't want to go.
Just tell your father you and Sylvia|are getting married.
And you need him|out to attend the wedding.
You can't lie to your parents like that!
Not if we can show him some proof.
Just get them out first.
I'll go tell him.
Mr. Chan, you're so in love with Gloria.
Why don't you take her out|and marry her?
Good idea! Why didn't I think of that?
Why did you say that?
What? Do you object to the idea?
So no one objects.
Gloria, will you marry me?
What took you so long?
Congratulations, Mr. Chan.
That makes you two brother and sister.|Are you happy?
Why don't you say something?|Are you unhappy?
You should call him brother now.
That's right, Brother.
No need to be so frustrated.|I have an idea.
Just cut off your ties with your father|as soon as we get out!
Is this a good idea?
What is that big thing doing there?
Yeah, what is it doing there?
So do you want me to let up the gas,|step on the brake,
turn off the car, take out the key,
get out of the car to find out|and then report to you?
You could have just asked me nicely!
What is it?
You Fatso. Can't even do|one little thing without any hassle.
How are you doing?
Not very well.
Why are you hitting my son?
Let go of me!
Get that bulldozer out of the way!
What are you waiting for??
I don't have the keys!|Then get down and push!
Why don't you show me how to push?
The butler was right. It's not that|difficult to get inside this castle.
But to get inside unnoticed is.
Come on.
I have at least seven ways|to get inside.
Seven? Why not six or eight ways?
Seven is my lucky number.
If it works, one way is enough.
that is not one of my seven ways.
Let's get in from the back.
There're many guards in the front.|But even tigers snooze sometimes.
I'm going to get in from the front.
The front is too dangerous.
Who are you going to go with?
I don't like either one of your ideas.
Three people, three ideas.
We're no better than|a pail of loose sand.
There is a difference.|We are only three pails of loose sand.
You're terrible!
Get down now if you have guts, pal!
You guessed it. I don't have guts.
How do you plan to get in?
Through the front door.
It's guarded.
I'll wait for an opportunity.
Wait? It'll be morning then.
Let's climb up the trees.
Have you ever seen an elephant|climb trees?
Then have fun waiting.
Stop playing. Be on your toes.|Come in for dinner.
Don't argue.
Last ball I threw is a top spin,
even if you hit it would've been|gone out of bound.
Hide the bodies first.
I have good news for you.
Someone has come to rescue you.
But I also have bad news for you.
We have already captured him.
How are you?
Don't be rude to my guest.
Give him your seat.
Thank you.
What do we do now?|Go home and go to bed.
Bed? Have you lost your mind?|We must find a way to save them!
If you knew, why did you ask?
Come on up.
Are you crazy?|You think I'm you?
Then think of a way yourself.
It's me!
I know.
Then why did you kick me?
I only knew it was you|after I kicked you
and you didn't scream.
For my own safety, we better split up.
What are you doing up there?
Are you guests of the party?
I told you not to follow me!|You almost ruined everything.
Take care of the guy first!
Let's go to the party.
The dress and your movements|are a perfect match.
Do you mean I look very classical?
Mother, just sit down.
That's right. I'm a bit hungry.
Set an extra plate.|We have one more guest.
Since you're here,|why not show yourself and join us?
Sorry I'm late, everyone.
What's the main course for tonight?
Roast lamb.
Wouldn't you know!|I was born in the Year of the Lamb.
It's an omen! That explains why I've|made a complete fool of myself tonight.
I am very much honored to have
the pleasure of|so many guests here tonight.
This is a very important night to me.
To the Lobas family,
this is a night of disgrace.
It is you and your mother
who brought disgrace to this family.
Don't upset yourself.
Count Mondale.
If people ever find out|that you kidnapped the two of them,
your reputation will be ruined.
Thank you for reminding me.|Now I know what to do.
I don't see a problem because...
Cardi, take care of |my guests for me.
Put the ladies in the dungeon.
I haven't finished my soup yet.|Where are you taking me?
What are you looking at?
Reinforcements are here!
You hang in there.|He's really not that tough.
You take care of him|and I'll go help over there.
I stay with him.|You go rescue the ladies.
Are you sure?|No.
You better do it. Go!
I block... block... block...
You can't poke me on the back!
This guy is something else.
No need to panic. Just relax.
Treat this as a training session.
Round 2!
1-2-3-4, 2-2-3-4, 3-2-3-4.
You're good!
Come on...
This is getting to be no fun.
Wow, that was a good one!
If you have guts,|pull me up and we'll go another round!
Pal, don't let go. Please pull me up.
What's taking you so long?
I was waiting for the two of you.
The Three Musketeers.|All for one and one for all.
Attack the top.
Attack the bottom.
Divide and conquer.
We're invincible.
Ola. How are you?
What can I get for you, Miss?
A hamburger and a Coke.
Please have a seat while you wait.
Pal, smile a little.|I know you miss her.
Just do the order.
David. Come out.
What's going on?|Look.
How nice of you to visit us.
I'm looking for work.|Are you hiring for the summer?
You must wish this summer never ends.
Hello, everyone!
What's up, our phony private eye?
Hey, don't give me a bad name!
Just got my membership card from lntl.|Association of Private lnvestigators.
I'm now perfectly legitimate.
Do you guys want to expand|your business?
If you come on an assignment|with me one more time,
you could easily|add 20 more catering vans.
Another castle?
No. It's a hut this time.
That easy? Who are you rescuing?
It's a Black president.
He's been kidnapped|by an African cannibal tribe.
Hey, someone is looking for you.
Subtitles By ALFA
Wag The Dog
Waga seishun ni kuinashi 1946
Wait Until Dark CD1
Wait Until Dark CD2
Waking Ned Devine (1998)
Waking Ned Divine
Waking Up In Reno
Walk On The Moon A 1999
Walk To Remember A
Walk on Water
Walk on the Wild Side
Walking With Beasts BBC Part02 Whale Killer
Walking With Beasts BBC Part03 Land Of Giants
Walking With Beasts BBC Part04 Next Of Kin
Walking With Beasts BBC Part05 Sabre Tooth
Walking With Beasts BBC Part06 Mammoth Journey
Walking and Talking 1996
Walking tall (2004)
Walking with Dinosaurs
Wall Street
Wall The
Wanted 2003
WarGames (1983) CD1
WarGames (1983) CD2
War CD1
War CD2
War Game The
War Game The (author commentary)
War Hunt 1962
War Is Over The (Alain Resnais 1966)
War Lover The 1962
War Zone The
War and Peace CD1
War and Peace CD2
War of the Roses The
War of the Worlds The
War of the Worlds The (1953)
Warm Water Under a Red Bridge (Shohei Imamura 2001) CD1
Warm Water Under a Red Bridge (Shohei Imamura 2001) CD2
Warriors Of Heaven And Earth 2003 CD1
Warriors Of Heaven And Earth 2003 CD2
Warriors Of Heaven And Earth CD1
Warriors Of Heaven And Earth CD2
Warriors The
Wasabi 2001
Wash The
Washington Heights (2002)
Watcher The
Water Drops on Burning Rock
Waterboy The
Waterboys 2001
Waterloo 1970 CD1
Waterloo 1970 CD2
Waters Edge
Watership Down
Way We Were The
Way of the Gun The
Waynes World
Waynes World 1992
Waynes World 2
We Are No Angels 1989
We Dont Live Here Anymore
We Were Soldiers
Weapon of War CD1
Weapon of War CD2
Wedding Planner The
Wedding Singer The
Wedlock 1991
Weekend Godard 1967
Weekend at Bernies II
Weight of Water The
Weird Science CD1
Weird Science CD2
Welcome Back Mr McDonald 1997
Welcome To Mooseport
Welcome to Collinwood (2002)
Welcome to Sarajevo
Welcome to the Dollhouse
Wes Cravens New Nightmare
West Side Story CD1
West Side Story CD2
West Wing The
Westworld (1973)
Whale Rider
Whale Rider 2002
Whales Of August The 1987
Whasango CD1
Whasango CD2
What About Bob (1991)
What Dreams May Come CD1 1998
What Dreams May Come CD2 1998
What Fault Is It Of Ours 2003 CD1
What Fault Is It Of Ours 2003 CD2
What Lies Beneath CD1
What Lies Beneath CD2
What Planet Are You From
What Price Glory
What Women Want
What Women Want CD1
What Women Want CD2
What a Girl Wants
What a Way to Go 1964
Whatever Happened to Baby Jane 1962
Whatever It Takes
Whats Eating Gilbert Grapewegg CD1
Whats Eating Gilbert Grapewegg CD2
Whats Love Got To Do With It 1993
Whats New Pussycat
Whats The Worst That Could Happen
Whats Up Doc
Wheels on Meals
When A Man Loves A Woman 1994 CD1
When A Man Loves A Woman 1994 CD2
When Harry Met Sally
When I Turned Nine 2004 CD1
When I Turned Nine 2004 CD2
When Ruoma Was Seventeen 2002
When The Last Sword Is Drawn 2003 CD1
When The Last Sword Is Drawn 2003 CD2
When Will I Be Loved 2004
When the Rain Lifts 1999
When the Sky Falls
When we were kings
Where Angels Go Trouble Follows (James Neilson 1968)
Where Eagles Dare CD1
Where Eagles Dare CD2
Where The Heart Is
Where the Red Fern Grows 2003
Where the Sidewalk Ends
Whirlpool 1949
Whisper of the Heart
White Chicks
White Dragon
White Fang - To the Rescue
White Man Cant Jump CD1
White Man Cant Jump CD2
White Palace
White Sheik The
White Sun Of The Desert 1970
White Valentine - 25fps - 1999
White Valentine 1999
Who Are You 2002 CD1
Who Are You 2002 CD2
Who Is Cletis Tout
Who framed Roger Rabbit (1988)
Whole Nine Yards The
Whole ten yards The
Whos Afraid of Virginia Woolf CD1
Whos Afraid of Virginia Woolf CD2
Whos Harry Crumb
Whos That Knocking at My Door
Whos Your Daddy
Wicked - 29,970fps 1998
Wicked 1998
Wicked 1998 29,970fps
Wicked City - 1973
Wicked City 1973
Wicker Park CD1
Wicker Park CD2
Wild Bunch The
Wild Bunch The - Restored Directors Cut
Wild One The
Wind Carpet The (Kamal Tabrizi 2003)
Wind Will Carry Us The CD1
Wind Will Carry Us The CD2
Wings of Desire CD1
Wings of Desire CD2
Wizard Of Darkness
Wizard of Oz The CD1
Wizard of Oz The CD2
Women from Mars
Women in Black The
World Is Not Enough The
Worst of Ed Wood Boxed Set The