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Do you know|the expression ''a man's man'' ? A man's man|is the leader of the pack. The kind of man other men|look up to, admire and emulate. A man's man|is the kind of man who... just doesn 't get|what women are about. Nick, my ex-husband,|is the ultimate man's man. I probably never|should have married him. I don't think he understood|a thing about me. So, this is Nick Marshall's office.|Wanna peek ? Don't worry.|He never gets in before 10:00. He'll send you on more errands than|anyone in the entire company... 'cause he can't do|anything for himself. He's the least politically|correct guy in the universe. He's the king of all|the T & A ads we do. You want babes in bikinis ?|He's your man. My dad ? How can I|best describe him ? He's always been...|like an uncle to me. Yeah, Uncle Dad. Although,|Nick was a charmer. Completely irresistible|at first, which feeds into|the whole ''man's man'' thing. You know about|Nick's mother, right ? Because once you understand|about Nick's mother, you understand Nick. Nick was actually|born and raised in Las Vegas. Nick's mother was a real,|honest-to-God Las Vegas showgirl. When otherboys were outside|riding their bikes and playing ball, Nick was backstage|hanging with the girls. He was their mascot,|their little pet. They couldn 't get enough|of those baby blues. - Bang ! Bang ! lf you ask me, I'd say Nick's|mother just about killed it... for every woman|Nick would ever meet. She had a lot of sugardaddies|in her life, but only one true love-- the boy|with the family jewels. 17, 18, 19, 20.|Let me see that, kid. And since Nick|didn 't have a father, his mom made sure he was always|surrounded by strong role models. - Come here, huh ? - Men her boy could look up to.|- Now you're ready, huh ? Keep countin', kid. There was nothing normal about|the way Nick Marshall was raised. So, what can you expect ? You don't have to be Freud|to figure out... this was one cockeyed way|to enter the world. Oh ! Don't you ever knock ? It's almost 10:00. You gotta go|to work, and I gotta vacuum in here. And don't forget - Another one|who wears vanilla perfume. Don't you know any women|who don't want to smell like candy ? - Toss me my lighter, babe ?|- Babe ? What am I,|a little pig ? I don't have time|to make you no onion bagel, so please do not start|to beg, okay ? And for the record, l don't like|finding these things in your sofa. What kind of woman|wears underwear like this ? Hey, my mother wore|underwear like that. Just put them somewhere,|will you, babe ? Well, ''babe'' is gonna put it|in the trash where it belongs. - So, your mother should excuse me. Did you ever consider dating|a woman who wears real underwear? The kind that covers the entire|bottom the way it's supposed to ? - No. But if I do, should I call ?|- Oh ! I'm gonna go clean|the kitchen. You couldn't toast me|a little bagel, could you ? Light cream cheese, tomatoes.|Capers if we have any. Please! Come on.|l can't think on an empty stomach. Okay. Allright. But only because|you didn 't call me that pig name. Okay, you got it, babe. Mr. Marshall,|how are you doing today ? - I'm fit as a dancing bear.|- I'll get that cab for you. - That's some set of pipes you got. - You have an excellent day, sir.|- And you. At ease. - Oh, oh, I'm so sorry ! I absolutely|did not mean to do that. - Here. Let me get that for you.|- It's okay. No, I'm mortified.|I can see your hands are full. - Thank you.|- Sorry. Let me get the door. - Thank you.|- Thank you. Halfcup, grande, nonfat,|thick foam, wet cap, no lid. ''Halfcaff,'' grande, nonfat,|thick foam, wet cap, no lid. - So, when do you find out ?|- Um, today, I think. Unless I didn't get it, and then|I will just never find out. I'm sure I didn't get it. They were|looking for an ''earth mother'' type. I overheard the director|say I was more space cadet. I'm an actress.|I can be whatever you want. - Is that true, can you ?|- Oh, better be true. Otherwise, I'm stuck playing ditsy|coffee girl the rest of my life. Thank you.|Hon ? Thanks. Oh ! Hi, Nick. Hi. Oh, Lola, my love. When are you|gonna let me buy you dinner ? Nick, I don't know why you don't|believe me. I'm not your type. Trust me on this one. Cappuccino,|extra foam. Tall or grande ? Grande. Or at least|I like to think so. - Next.|- You know, rumor has it... I'm getting some really|big news at work today. At least come out with me.|Celebrate. I'll buy you a coffee. Memo to you:|I work in a coffee shop. Hi. What can I get you ? - Hi. I'll take--|- Want me to stop asking you out ? Sorry. This will|just take a sec. Because, Lola,|give me the word and I'll stop. Yes, I'm gonna give you the word|because I'm an actress. Or at least I'm trying to be one.|I'm trying to concentrate on that. So, you know, it would be|a good thing, if you wouldn't mind, to stop asking me out ! Honey, you seem|so stressed. I am stressed.|I have a lot on my plate. So, let's not talk|about this now. Why don't I meet you here,|say, tomorrow ? 10:00 ? 10:30 ? - Okay, that would be good.|- So, that's a date ? It's a date.|Thank you. Sir,|that was inspiring. I know. Good morning, Sloane-Curtis. - Good morning, Mr. Marshall.|- Hi, honey. - What's the dirt ?|- I was at breakfast this morning-- - Hey, Norm ! You winning ?|- Of course. I heard Miller's shopping around,|looking for a new agency. Miller Lite. I know.|I'm all over it. Also, I heard Darcy McGuire left|B.B.D. & O. Good morning, Angela. -You're kidding. Left or was fired ?|-I don't know. Everyone there|is thrilled to get rid of her. Well, so much for|edgy female vision. So, that girl we met|last night at the club, nothing happened after|you put her in the cab, right ? It did ?|Something happened ? But she said she had to|be in bed early. I had her in bed by 11:00.|Or was it quarter to ? You - You're like a genius,|you know that ? What can I tell you, buddy ? I'm|blessed. And today is my lucky day. Not only is my ex-wife remarrying--|right now, as a matter of fact-- but Wanamaker called me himself,|wanted to see me first thing. - Called twice to confirm.|- Call me when he makes it official. It's not gonna be as easy to suck up|to ''creative director,'' you know. Not to worry. I'll make us a lunch|rez at the Drake to celebrate. Don't count your chickens,|huh ? 1:00 ? Pick you up. Can I borrow this ? - Hey, Dina.|- Hi. Do you know the difference|between a wife and a job ? - What is it ?|- After ten years, job still sucks. - That's a good one, huh ? I wouldn't do that if I were you.|That's not a good idea, no. - Oh, Mr. Marshall, hi.|- Hey. I put the storyboards on your desk.|Picked up your shoes from Barney's. Got your glasses fixed.|There was no charge. This morning's staff meeting|was cancelled. And I got your cigarettes.|They're next to your laptop. This morning's staff meeting|was cancelled. - That's what I was told.|- Hmm. Good morning, girls. Good afternoon, sire. Hey, anybody know why|the staff meeting was cancelled ? Nobody called us. Oh, but Mr. Wanamaker wants|to see you as soon as you get in, which I told his office|was 15 minutes ago. - I know.|- You couldn't show up on time ? You know you're being promoted.|But you look very sharp, by the way. - Thank you.|- Like a creative director. - Very distinguished. You able to handle yourselves|on the 44th floor ? Be truthful. Are you kidding ?|We were made for the 44th floor. Now, get up there already,|so we can break out the bubbly. - Don't wait up.|- Don't wait up. - He's so adorable.|- He says the cutest things. Boy. Sorry, buddy. I was in the board|meeting that would never end. - Have you been here long ?|- A couple minutes. That's all. Jess, can I get a cup of decaf|and a couple Tylenol? And see if we got any Echinacea.|And I need some club soda. I got something on my tie.|Know what ?Just get me another tie. I saw the mock-ups you did for|Johnny Walker. They're fantastic. Oh, that's my job, Dan. So, you know l'm not great|at making speeches, especially when I haven't|got you to write them for me. So, I'll do my best. I've been|in this racket over 30 years. Let me tell you something,|it doesn't get any easier. As a matter of fact,|it gets harder and harder. The '80s|were our glory days. They were all about|alcohol, tobacco and cars. I felt like|I was on top of my game. And then in the '90s, men stopped|dominating how dollars were spent, and we lost our compass. Women between 16 and 24 are|the fastest-growing consumer group. Girls who were born in the mid-'80s|control our advertising dollars. Sorry. No Echinacea.|Hi, Nick. - Hey.|- Red or lavender? Red. No, no, lavender.|That'sgood. Lavender's good. While we've been|shooting beer commercials... with the Swedish bikini team,|the industry has been transformed. We were the agency in town|ten years ago. Now we're struggling|to be third. lf we don't evolve and think|beyond our naturalability, we're gonna go down. ''Think beyond our natural -''|I'm not quite clear what you mean. What do you know|about Darcy McGuire ? Oh, hey, l heard on the whisper|she just left B.B.D. & O. I never met the woman, but|I hear she's a real man-eater. She won that Cleo last year we|should have won for the add about-- Oh, yeah, right.|That was her ? I forgot about that. Yeah, I wish I had. Oh, boy, I hear|she is a bitch on wheels. - That's very funny.|- Yeah, why ? 'Cause I just hired her. To do what ? You know I love you, Nick,|but it's a woman's world out there. Getting into a women's psyche|is not exactly your strong suit. You can get into their pants|better than anybody on Earth, but their psyche|is a whole other ball game. You hired Darcy McGuire|to do what ? She hasn't done it on her own yet,|but somebody was gonna grab her. And she's smart, Nick.|She's very smart. You made her creative director,|didn't you ? Sorry. This isn't easy, but I got|the board breathing down my neck. She's coming in this afternoon.|You'll meet her. - Come on. Roll with this. Work with her because she's got what|I need to keep this place afloat. She's got what you need,|meaning she's a woman. You know how we can|compete with that ? He's coming. He's coming.|He's coming. Not so fast, girls.|Put it on ice. We'll break it out soon. We're not moving|to the 44th floor ? Not today. - Oh.|- Okay, Gigi, one more. Gigi, your ex is here. Honey, you look like...|$48 million. Thank you. - May I kiss the bride ?|- Sure. - Nick.|- Nick ! Ted. Congratulations, Ted.|You're a lucky man. Well, thanks.|I happen to agree. So, you're going on a cruise.|Two weeks, huh ? Well, actually, the cruise|is just the last week. Alexandra has an itinerary,|and I faxed one... to your office yesterday,|to your apartment last week. Ted's office has one,|as does the school. -In case I've fallen off the planet?|-You never know. Hey, here she is. Pretty in pink.|So, two whole weeks together? - Yeah, how you gonna handle it ?|- l'm gonna love it. You can take care of your old man.|Cook for me. Get my slippers. - Yeah, that'll be happening.|- Alexandra has a boyfriend now. - Mom !|- So he won't be surprised. You have a boyfriend ?|You're only 13 years old. Am I ?|I thought I was 15. We're gonna be fiine. Look, I wanna meet Cameron. - Okay if I meet Dad at his place ?|- Is it all right ? - Yeah, well, I -|- What time ? 8:00. 9:00, maybe ? - 7:30.|- Okay. - Bye, Mom.|- Oh, honey. I'm gonna miss you. I'm gonna miss you too.|Ted, have a good time. - Bye, pumpkin.|- Bye. - Nick.|- Honey. Later. Yeah, 7:30's fine.|Thanks for asking. And the name's Dad. - Here you go.|- Thanks. -Hey, I heard. I can't believe this.|-My next headache. Don't worry.|We'll get through it. Yeah. Everyone, everyone,|meet Darcy McGuire. - Oh, jeez. - My goodness. Everybody showed up.|- Darcy, how are you ? - Nice to see you. Hi !|- Pleasant surprise. - God, what a small world.|- Welcome aboard. I'm so glad to meet you. Hello. I'm Darcy. Hi. I'm Nick Marshall. Oh, I've heard|a lot about you, Nick. -I've heard a lot about you too.|-Don't worry, can't all be true. Let's hope not. Hey. Hey, standing room only.|It's a first. I'm very, very excited for you all|to meet Darcy McGuire. -Darcy's extraordinary reputation... as a leader in the field|precedes her. At B.B.D. & O., Darcy led|a creative team... that snagged $500 million|in new business wins. And that was|just last year alone. At Sloane-Curtis, we've prided|ourselves on our strategic thinking. Now it's time for us to step up|and prove ourselves creatively... in the marketplace. And l'm thrilled that Darcy|has consented to move across town, join our team and lead us|into the 21st century. Thank you, Dan. And thank you all|for that warm welcome. Let me start off by saying|the feeling is mutual. I am absolutely|thrilled to be here. When I first started|in this business, it was my dream... to work at Sloane-Curtis. I even believe I applied|for a job here twice. - Somebody call personnel. But it was B.B.D. & O.|that offered me a home. And what I learned there|was that any success I had... was a direct result of the team|of people that I work with. I know that two heads|are better than one. I know that five heads|are better than two. And I know that if we put our heads|and our hearts into this company, we will deliver,|I know that. Now, I love challenges.|I love hard work. I look forward to sitting at this|very table tossing ideas around... until what I fear will be|the wee hours of the morning. I want the work we do|to say something about who we are. - How we think, what we feel.|- I'm sorry. Excuse me. So, as our friends in Hollywood say,|''Let's cut to the chase.'' How are we gonna turn|this company around ? When Sears decided to go|after women in their advertising... and said, ''Come see|the softer side of Sears,'' their revenues|went up 30%. Thirty percent.|That's huge. Female-driven advertising|totalled $40 billion last year. And Sloane-Curtis' share|of that was ? Zero. If you want to sell|an anti-wrinkle cream... or a Ford Mustang|to a woman - forgive me- but this is the last place|you bring your business. And we can't afford to not have|a piece of a $40 billion pie. So, I have put together|a little kit for everybody. Nobody panic.|This is supposed to be fun. Every product in this box|is looking for new representation... right now, and they're|all made for women. l'm pretty sure all the women here|are familiar with these products, so for the men let's just|briefly run through them. - Here you go, Nick. Thank you. Each kit contains|anti-wrinkle cream, mascara,|moisturizing lipstick, bath beads,|quick-dry nailpolish, an at-home waxing kit,|a more wonderful Wonderbra, - a pregnancy test, hair volumizer,|- Oh, sorry. pore cleansing strips,|Advil, control-top pantyhose|and a Visa card. Now I want everybody|to come up with something-- for one product, for two,|the whole box-- whatever moves you. We'll get together tomorrow,|have a little show-and-tell. How's 8:30 for everybody ? Great. See you at 8.:30|tomorrow morning. A nightmare. Read my lips - night-mare. - Miss, miss, miss ! That's another 500 bucks. - We play our dangerous game. A game of chess...|against our old adversary. ''Adversary'' ?|Surely you mean adversary, old boy ? Vinaigrette|for arugula salad. - ...women's political caucus.|- Tuck the pelvis under. Lifting. Buns of steel. I'd steal her buns|if I could. Here it comes.|Yes, he nailed the dismount ! Now let's check in|on the women's finals. Women's finals. There's way too much estrogen|on television these days. And as we all know,|the perfect antidote for estrogen... is Frank. Oh, I need some Frank. Help me, buddy.|Help me now. - Don't panic. This is supposed to be fun. - Okay. Okay, I can do this. I'm a professional. Lipstick. All right. Lipstick on a guy's collar ?|No, no, women will hate that. Lipstick on a guy's collar|that won't rub off. No, that's even worse. Okay, okay, okay,|I gotta think like a broad. All right, I'm a broad. I see lipstick... on a dark-haired|Tahitian beauty, standing under a waterfall,|wearing nothing but a thong. Water cascading|down her back. I'm a lesbian. I gotta change the music. I wonder. I wonder. Oh, Alex, thank you. Ah, jackpot ! Oh, she's hot. - You go, girl. - Looks like big dandruff. Smooth, yeah, smooth.|Oh, cool. Wow, mascara.|Here we go. Nice, thick lashes. Ow ! Ow ! Shit, that stings !|What the fu-- Okay, fine. Well, I need|some anesthetic here. Beautiful. Okay. Now... for the piece de resistance,|we have-- We have the right leg.|Yes, excellent. And the hot, hot wax.|Very hot wax. Here we go. Jeez ! Ooh, that's hot. Okay, test of manhood.|Here we go. Okay, we passed. And next... we immediately apply|disposable cloth... over the waxed... area. Straight ahead. Yes. Yeah... it feels|kinda nice, yeah. I don't know why women complain|about waxing their legs. ''In one smooth motion,|yank the strip quickly... in the opposite direction|of the hair growth.'' No, no,|that would be north. One, two, three. Women are insane.|Who would do that more than once ? I don't know. Why would|anybody even do the other leg ? Ah, yes,|that's right, girls. Wax it off|and cover it up. Yeah. Ally-oop !|Ooh, wait. Oh, shit !|I guess this takes a little finesse. One down, two to go. Okay. Okay. Okay. Oh. Honey, you just lost|yourself five pounds. All right, where's my Wonderbra ? Oh. - Let's see which end is up here. - Hi !|- What are you doing ? Exfoliating ? - Yo.|- You must be, um-- Cameron, my boyfriend.|This is Nick. - Her father.|- That's nice nail polish you got. Yeah, I'm just doing a new|research thing at work, you know. - Get into the female psyche--|- Whatever. Yeah. I should probably|take off. - No, you don't have to.|- It's cool. I'll see you later. - Bye.|- Bye. - I'll call you.|- Okay. Nice meeting you, eh ? Yeah. - Excuse me. Did you kiss that guy ?|- Where did you get this ? - Your zipper thing. You're kissing?|- You went through my stuff ! I needed some music.|It was just sitting there. What are you, allergic to listening?|You never listen when I talk. If I'm stuck staying here, then|my stuff's gonna be around, okay ? I don't want you to just|go through everything. - I don't listen to you ?|- You think you listen to me. - Yeah.|- You do ? What's my boyfriend's name ? Uh, it's-- - Good night.|- No, no, wait, come back. Dustin is his name.|Dustin, that's his name. Right ? No.|Don't slam the-- C-Carson. Carmen. Carmine !|Carmine ! - Carmichael ! I can't remember a guy's name, they|figure you're not listening to them. What do women want ? I know it has three syllables. Cameron.|His name is Cameron ! Whoa ! Oh, Jesus.|That's so dangerous. Ninety percent|of all accidents happen-- Oh, what the hell|has he done now ? I hope he's not dead. No, I'm fine. I'm fine, I think. Are you sure ? No. Yes. Cleaner pores.|Thicker hair. Very weird headache.|Really weird. Now I gotta clean up bras|and home pregnancy tests ? The man doesn't pay me enough|for the things I have to do. Oh, Jesus,|he's wearing panty hose ? Now he's a cross-dresser ? I was just experimenting with a few|products from work, all right ? - Did I say anything ?|- Oh, God, it's 8:00 already. To sleep till 8:00. He'd fire|my ass if I wasn't here to wake him. Whew, are we|in a mood today. Same as every other day. Honey, make me a little bagel|with cream cheese. You know I can't think|on an empty stomach. For your information,|I'm not even hungry. Who said you were ? - Mr. Marshall.|- Good morning, Flo. Let me get you|a cab, sir. Sure. - Thank you, Flo. You're welcome, my little sweet ass. What did you say ? Me ? Nothing. - You sure ?|- Yes, sir. You know what ?|I think I'll walk today. - I could use a little fresh air.|- Have a great day, sir... with your fine ass|looking like Shaft ! Whew ! I could just|ride that puppy ! Watch where you're going. - You okay, sir ?|- Fine. I'm fine. Did I turn the coffee maker off?l|walked over, but did I turn it off? l can't remember. I saw the light,|but did I turn the switch off? -What ? What ?|-One kiss doesn't make me a lesbian. - Does it ?|- What ? - Hmm ?|- Oh, sorry. Two slices of toast, 150 calories,|plusa tab and a half of butter, Estrogen is good for the heart|but bad for the breasts. - What ?|- My kid doesn't need Ritalin. - Get him to listen to what I say.|- Monsieur, I need to poop. Oh, boy ! - Aah ! Oh, God,|he nearly killed me. Too bad he missed. - Good morning.|- Good mor-- Don't look up. He'll make me|hear another disgusting joke. He's such a schmuck. She thinks I'm a schmuck ? Whoa, lighten up|on that aftershave, buddy. Oh, what ? Oh, yeah,|like you've got the perfect body ? Jeez. - Hi, Mr. Marshall.|- No, no, don't say it. What ? I was going to tell you|the Gillette budget's on your desk. And I went out last night and|got you that Merlot that you wanted. Here's|your credit card back. Thankyou. - You okay ?|- Me ? Yeah. Do you realize that I have|an lvy League education... and that running your stupid|errands has put me into therapy ? Take me seriously and give me|some real work to do. Oh, yeah, I remember why.|Because I have a vagina ! - Aah !|- Anything else I can get for you ? Oh, good, you're on time. - Morning.|- You look a little different. You know, I think|maybe it's his hair. - It looks thicker, doesn't it ?|- Gimme your coat. - Oh, oh, okay.|- Mmm, you smell good today. - New cologne ?|- No. Th-That's it ?|No other thoughts ? - What do you mean ?|- You feeling all right, doll ? ''Linens, linings,|loans, locks.'' - Hello, Nick ? Uh, Nick ?|We gotta go. What are you doing ?|It's 8:30. Can't go. Gotta find a doctor.|Need a cure. Can't go. - Definitely can't go.|- You sound like the guy from Shine. - What's wrong with you ?|- I don't need a doctor. Maybe I need,|like, an exorcist. Under ''E'' for exorcist. There are no exorcists|in the greater Chicago area. Let's pull it together and sell|some sensitive feminine shit, okay ? Sorry to interrupt.|Here you go. By the way, your hair looks|really good today, Mr. Marshall. And it's okay|you pay me minimum wage... because I use the company phone|to call my boyfriend in Israel... for an hour. Tell me you heard that. Your hair looks really good.|So what ? The - The other thing !|What she was thinking thing. I don't think she thinks too much.|She's not exactly a genius. I'll have you know she went|to an Ivy League school. - Doubt that.|- The thing about the boyfriend, calling him in Israel,|you heard that, yes, no ? I didn't hear it|'cause she didn't say it. Pull it together. We're gonna|be late for our sorority meeting. Morgan, in case I, like,|maybe die today-- Can we walk ? 'Cause in case|you live, I don't wanna be late. Here's what happened,|just in case the coroner asks. I got drunk, and I tried on|all the products from the pink box. - You did not.|- I put on all the products-- nail polish, panty hose,|everything. - You tried on the panty hose ?|- Yes, okay. Anyway, I was drying my hair,|and I fell over and tripped, fell into the bathtub|and electrocuted myself. I blacked out,|and when I woke up... I could hear what every woman|around me was... thinking. - Uh-huh.|- Talking personal, private stuff. The stuff that nobody is|supposed to hear, I hear that stuff. You know what I'm saying ?|I can hear what women think. Can you ? Good, 'cause that's not|a talent guys have these days. You don't believe me.|You want me to prove it ? -See this attorney coming toward us?|-Yeah. Oh, she thinks|you're overpaid and gay. - What ?|- I hear what they're all thinking. It's driving me crazy. Even|French poodles, I can hear them. So we're on the same page,|I need you to know you sound insane. You freaked out over losing|the job, which I understand. But if you tell anybody you can hear|the thoughts of a French poodle-- What if I jumped out the window?|Jumped through the plate glass. Would they notice ? Probably not|if I didn't get glass on anybody. That girl with the fruit is funny.|Suicidal, but she is funny. Nick, what girl|with the fruit ? - The--|- Huh ? Last one to arrive.|Wants me to know I'm not his boss. Okay, you're a star.|I get the message. She thinks I'm late because I want|her to know she's not my boss. - What is she talking about ?|- Put a lid on it. I'm begging you. Ooh, I can't believe|I have butterflies in my stomach. Feels like|the first day of school. Okay, so let's see|how we did. Nobody wants to go first. Everyone's avoiding me,|except Nick Marshall. Unbelievable. The only one|with good eye contact. At least he's looking at my eyes|and not down my blouse. - Nick, what did you come up with ?|- Me ? What did I come up with ? He's so wired. Mostly... I thought about|the moisturizing lipstick, never having worn|lipstick myself. I tried to imagine what I'd want|from a lipstick, if I were a woman. - Oh, spare me.|- Okay, he's trying to be honest. You know,|to be perfectly honest, I thought of a Tahitian beauty,|bathing under a waterfall. Oy, I'm gonna die here|with these kinds of ideas. But, uh, you know, I'm|working on it, and it's evolving. Anybody interested in an idea|involving the Swedish bikini team ? I do know them all|personally. - Oh, what an idiot.|-Jerk, grow up already. - What a pig.|- You are so foul. I should have asked|for more money. Gina ? I spent the night trying to figure|out how to sell Advil just to women. You know what ?|You should sell it to women like me. I take it every time|I need to fake a headache. Works like a charm. I-I got a great one.|It just came to me. - Do you mind if I interrupt, Dina ?|- Sure, go ahead. I hate that|you've seen me naked. All right. So, we're in a bedroom,|the lights are out. There's a woman in bed,|and she's taking an Advil. Her husband suggestively|rubs her back, and we say, ''Advil. ''So mild and gentle,|you can take it... even when you're|faking a headache.'' Woman turns to her husband and says,|''Not tonight, I need an Advil. '' - He's back. What ? Come on. That doesn't|reach women on a personal level ? - No.|- Women do that, don't they ? - I don't.|- No ? Sue Cranston, you've done that,|haven't you ? Faked a headache to-- No, Nick, I haven't.|Thanks for asking. No, wait, wait, wait.|Be honest now. I mean, you've been married|what, ten, twelve years ? You've never faked a headache ?|lt doesn't work like a charm ? No, Nick, I haven't. I mean, no, it doesn't,|okay ? Jeez. - What an asshole !|- I guess I'm off base here. What's good is you're looking at|Advil from a woman's point of view. Um, I don't think Advil|will go for it, and I'm pretty sure every woman|in America will hate it. Other than that,|I thought it was great. You're on the right track.|Hang in there. Go ahead. Great antenna there, babe.|The poodle give you that one ? - What are you doing home early ?|- I have my first migraine. This is hideous. My boyfriend|feeling me up in front of my father. Don't think anything. The outlook|wasn't good for the Mudville Nine. - The score was four to two.|- Oh, shit. Where's my bra ? - Where is it ?|- Oh, God. Oh, God ! Okay, look. Everybody|just needs to chill out here. There'll be no chilling.|Just get your stuff... and move on. Come on, man. Relax. - How old are you ?|- I just turned 1 8. Well, she's 1 5.|She was 10 five years ago. You know what I'm saying,|stud ? Now get out. Dad ! We're going|to the prom. Don't ruin it. - You're not going with this punk.|- How did you know about prom ? Look, I don't know.|Mom told me, all right ? It's not gonna happen|because he's too old for you. I know what boys want, and he's not|getting it from my daughter. Door. Your daughter ?|Suddenly, I'm your daughter. - How am I related to this asshole ?|- Another one. - I want Mom.|- Look, l'm just gonna take off. - l'm real sorry about this.|- Save it. That's mine. Where-- Where are you-- Great day. Okay, l'm not losing|my mind. - I'm already losing my mind. - This will work. It's gotta work. -This has gotta work. Shit. Perfect. Come on !|Do your thing ! Turn me into me again ! Oh, good, I'm not dead. Oh, please ! Please, please, please.|Tell me I got rid of it. - Please be a woman. Please. - For what city, please ?|- You couldn't do me a favor... and think of your favorite color|or TV program, could you ? For what city, please ? Flo ? Hey, Flo ! - Flo ? I can't believe this. I need a woman. -Try this one.|-Oh, I love this. This is fantastic. Oh, it's my mother's birthday|next week, so I need two gift sets. You've been a great help.|I appreciate it. Do you have a Kleenex back there|so I can wipe that off ? I'm sure she'll like it.|It's one ofourbestsellers. - Do I get a free gift with this ?|- Yes, you get a travelbag. Thank you. Stop it. You've got the dress.|Treat yourself to lipstick. - No, I have enough at home.|- You might as well get one, right ? I have too many lipsticks. I have|piles of them. I don't need it. - I'll buy it for you.|- lf he doesn 't answer in two rings, - I swear to God !|- Hi, blue eyes. - Dr., you may not remember me.|- Yes ? I'm Nick Marshall. I came here about|ten years ago with my ex-wife, Gigi. - Oh, Christ, not him.|- Oh, good, you remember me. I'm sorry to barge in like this,|but I don't know who to turn to. I'm afraid to go to work.|I'm afraid of my door woman. I'm-- I'm afraid|to get a cup of coffee. Mr. Marshall,|please slow down. Slow down. Let me make sure I completely|understand what it is you're saying. All right. All right. I hear what women think. Yeah. You know,|Mr. Marshall, this kind of imaginary|displacement scenario... - I'm not imag--|- really isn't my thing. I do, however, have a very good|friend over at University Hospital, who specializes in male menopause|and testosterone depletion. She's fabulous. I think what I'll do|is just give her a ring... and send you overthere. Why did I answer my door ? I was so|into buying that lamp on eBay. - How much was it going for ?|- How much was what going for ? The lamp on eBay. Oh, I see. That's good.|Very clever. - Dr. Skolnick, please.|- You don't believe me. Try another. Go on. Pick a number.|Give it a whirl. Any number. Okay. A number|between one and-- - A million. Why not ?|- One and a million. All right. Mm. 644,998-- 99-- 90. Wanna make a decision here ? - Oy vay!|- Oh, you can say that again. - I didn't say anything.|- Doesn't mean I didn't hear it. Okay. Okay. Let's say--|Let's say I do believe you. - Yeah.|- You can hear what women think. Even though I'm a grown|woman of... 51 . - 47.|- Oh, my lips are sealed. Holy crap !|Oh, forgive me. - That's all right.|- But this is phenomenal. - You can hear inside my head.|- Yes. Why would you want to get rid|of such a brilliant gift ? Well, for starters, almost every woman I know|thinks I'm an asshole. - What I thought when I met you.|- Doc, give me a break here. Mr. Marshall, you might|find this a little unorthodox, but would you mind|awfully if I smoked ? - No, no, I understand.|- Thank you. Thank you so much. Let's try to look at|the up side of this, shall we ? You know, Freud died at age 83|still asking one question, ''What do women want ?'' Wouldn't it be strange and wonderful|if you were the one man on Earth... finally able to answer|that question ? Listen to me, Nick.|Something extraordinary... and I think miraculous|has happened to you. My advice is|you must learn from this. You know, there isn't|a single woman that I treat... that doesn't wish her man|understood her better. If men are from Mars and women are|from Venus and you speak Venusian, the world can be yours. I don't know how this|happened to you or why, but you may just be|the luckiest man on Earth. lmagine the possibilities. lf you know|what women want, you can rule. Hubba-hubba, here he|comes, looking awfully good today. And I haven't had sex|in four months. Okay, six. Why did I tell him to stop|asking me out ? I'm an idiot! - Idiot ! Idiot ! Hey, Nick, how's it going ? Lola, my love.|I can't take no for an answer. - About what ?|- About what ? About us. Just don't hurt me, Nick.|I've been hurt too many times. I know how hard it is|to go out with someone new. I mean, there's always|that fear of, well, getting hurt. - At least that's how I feel inside.|- You do, really ? - All the time.|- Me, too, all the time. Let's just take it slow|and see how it goes. Slow is good. Slow is really good. - Yeah.|- Are you free tonight ? So, you don't think I'm gay ?|You're saying you never said that ? - I never said that.|- Doesn't mean you didn't think it. Is it the hair ? The highlights|happen to be natural. - Morgan, I have a meeting.|- You don't think I'm overpaid? - You never said that.|- I don't think I ever said that. Okay. Who has he been talking to ? - Morning.|- Morning. Well, then check your E-mail.|I sent it over-- Hi, Annie.|How's the boyfriend in Israel ? I want to thank you|for picking up that wine. That's above and beyond.|I appreciate it so much. Thank you. Uh, can I get you|a cup of coffee or, um, some water|or any kind of beverage ? No, but thank you. If I'm thirsty,|I know where the coffee room is. That's right, guys, don't help.|Just walk right past me. Why don't you step on|my hands, you big-- - Here you go. How you doing ?|- Oh. Oh, fine.|Thank you, Mr. Marshall. - You're welcome, um--|- Erin. Erin. You be careful,|all right, Erin ? Yeah, sure. Heavy. What do you know ?|There is life on this planet. Breakfast Tuesday sounds great.|Absolutely. Thanks for the info.|And thanks for the champagne. You too.|Okay, bye-bye. Set meeting, Nike,|women's division. - Hi.|- Hi. Well, you've been here five minutes.|Looks like you've been here a year. Oh, yeah. I'm compulsive.|It's a problem. Why do I always|feel like he's checking me out ? I wonder what he's got|up his sleeve. - Great photographs.|- No clue they're all Bourke-White. They're not all Margaret|Bourke-White, are they ? Yeah, they are. Wow. It's|a beautiful collection. - Thanks. So how's it going ?|- Mmm. You know, I was gonna|ask you the same thing. It's starting slow. - I'm evaluating staff, that's hard.|- Oh, yeah. Yeah, right. Well, you know, I don't|wanna beat around the bush. - What I'd like to propose--|- He's proposing so soon ? - Oh, sorry. Sorry.|- Oh ! - Uh, yes--|- Excuse me. - You got another one. Wow !|- Thanks. As I was saying, I know nothing about the products|you're going for personally, but I do believe|I can sell anything... once I know|what the buyer's needs are. And what I'd really like,|with your kind indulgence of course, is to go after|that really big fish. I mean, the one|you really wanna land. I'll learn what I need to know,|and I'll reel them in for us. No, actually, I think|l'll reel them in for us. That is, unless you're going after|something in particular yourself. No. It's just that there're several|big fish out there at the moment. Oh, yeah ?|Well, what's your biggest fish ? To your mind,|who's your whale ? Um, Nike--|women's division ? You heard|they were shopping ? I got wind of it. - Amazing. I heard no one knew.|- You knew. - I heard no one else knew.|- It's okay if I know what you know. - We're on the same team. Besides,|- Yeah. I heard someone say once|two heads are better than one-- - Oh, you were listening.|- More than you know. Okay,|here's what I heard. Nike is shopping,|quietly. But if they make a change,|it's gonna happen fast. Now, you know this is|a tough one for us to get. It would be a tough one for anybody|to get, but if we got it-- - That's all we'd need.|- I hear you. So, what do they want|exactly ? They wanna empower women. - What ?|- I'm sorry. - That won't work.|- No, okay. I'm sorry. - I understand. Go on.|- They wanna get in women's heads... and reach them|on a very real level. Don't take this wrong, but you got|jumpy talking about lipstick. - I know.|- Nike is hard-core woman power. You sure you wanna|go after this one ? You get 'em here in two weeks,|I'll be ready. This guy is kind of exciting. Hey !|Glad I caught you both. - You got a minute ?|- Sure. I want you to look at these boards|for U.S. Air before they come by. - Right.|- lt feels like something's missing. Hmm. I don't like|the graphics. Feels a bit parochial. Maybe it should be|in black and white. - What do you think, Nick ?|- I don't know who you've had, but, I don't know,|it seems kind of-- What's the word ?|Parochial to me. Um, what do you think,|Darcy ? I totally agree,|especially about the graphics. They're parochial.|It's so funny you just said that. Yeah ? Why don't you get them to|try it in black and white ? Might punch it up|a little. What ?|Did you say something ? No. I just swear I was|thinking the exact same thing. Were you ? Black and white could really help.|Good idea, Nick. Good idea, Nick ?|Speak up. Quick. - Say something before he leaves.|- Uh, Dan ? Want me to look at the boards ? Once|they have a stab, give me a buzz. - I will. Thanks, buddy.|- Dan ? ln case they find Nick's idea|too retro, which they might-- -Oh, yeah.|-they may think it's old-fashioned-- I'd be ready with some--|maybe a dot com kind of thing ? Maybe there's something about|getting on-line at the airport. No, I think we're fine, really.|Really, we're good. - I like Nick's fix on this.|- Great. Hey, you wanna come by later ? I got|a box of new Cubans, just came in. - Great.|- Cool. You smoke cigars ? No. You know, your office|is looking really snazzy. - I love the red.|- Thanks. Mr. Marshall,|your daughter's on line one. - Oh. I'm sorry. Would you mind--|- Oh. Here you go. He has a daughter ?|Didn't picture that. How old ? She's 15. She's staying with me|while her mom's away. - He's married ?|- Away on her honeymoon. - Oh.|- Alex, hi. Uh-huh. Oh, sure, honey.|No, that's great. ''Honey'' ?|Who are you trying to impress ? Okay, look, I'm gonna go out|with my friends after school. Then can I bring them back to your|place, or will you freak out again ? No, no, no, no.|No problem. Whatever you want. - What time are you gonna be home ?|- Wait for me ! - I don't know. I gotta go.|- 8:00's fine. l love you too.|Bye, sweetie. Total shocker.|He's like a nice guy. - Sorry, duty calls.|- Oh, of course. - She's 15 ?|- Yeah. Got a boyfriend that's 1 8. - And you hate that, right ?|- Hate it. Yeah. But she digs him,|and he's invited her to the prom. - That's a big deal, I guess.|- The prom is about the dress. - You know that, right ? Oh, yeah.|- Is it ? Once you got the dress handled,|it's all downhill from there. This feels like a date. Why did I|go into all that ? He needs to go. Well, I'm out of here. Do some research downtown,|get inside women's heads. - Well, if you need any help--|- I'll be picking your brain. - You got it.|- I'll take it. Oh, God.|Candy. She won't last a month. Oh, I like that one, but it says|you can't wear it if you have hips. -That one's cute.|-It's low-cut. I can't wear low-cut. - Alex ?|- It's open. What? Say something. Uh, hi.|I'm Alex's dad, Nick. - Hi.|- Hi. - Deadbeat.|- Mr. No-Food-in-the-House. Forgot her birthday. Why is he just standing there ? Oh, I-I just wanted|to let you know that I was home... and that I got sort of a date|later on tonight, so I'm going out. But I'll be home early. Hey,|why don't you guys order a pizza ? There's not a scrap of food|in the joint. I also wanted to know if maybe you|and I could go out on a date soon ? I'd like to take you shopping|for a prom dress. Oh, that is so sweet. I wish my dad would do|something like that. - I love him.|- I don't get it. First, you throw Cameron out. Now you wanna take me shopping|so I can go to the prom with him ? I overreacted, and I just wanna make|up for it by taking you shopping. I mean, it's a pretty|important thing, you know ? They say it's all downhill|after the dress. He must be stoned.|Fine. I'll get the most expensive dress,|shoes, makeup. He can afford it. And what the hell.|Let's go crazy. While we're at it, we'll get you|new makeup, shoes, the works. - What do you say ?|- Fine, whatever. Whatever meaning ''yes.''|Yes ? Yes. Great. Nice to have met you two.|I hope to see you again soon. - Definitely.|- Bye, Mr. Marshall. - Love the apartment.|- Great view. Thank you.|Oh, okay. I gotta tell ya, I'm not|usually like this on a first date. It's just... you've been|so amazing all night. - You've been so sensitive...|- Oh, well-- and so understanding and-- Hey. - You wanna come up ?|- Oh, yeah. I can't believe I asked him up.|Am I ready for him to come up ? If I sleep with him, he'll think|I'm a slut and never call me again. Or he'll call me all the time 'cause|he'll think he can get it whenever. Oh, what's the difference ?|He's so incredible ! He reminds me of my sister. - So, what do you think ?|- Well, I-- I'll only come up|if you really want me to. I don't want you to do anything|you're not ready for. - I can wait. - Oh, he's got a great body. But-- Whoa ! What's with the tongue ? I'm|gonna need the Heimlich maneuver. Thank you. Ooh. - Ouch ! Right, they're attached.|- I'm sorry. Oh !|Now we're talkin'. Uh-huh.|Oh. Okay.|Lied about the grande. Would you mind if we had|the lights on, maybe ? - No, you want the light on ?|- Yeah, it might help. Okay, if it'll help. God, I hope he's better|with the light on. He's so all over the place.|Just do it so I can start faking it. Is Britney Spears|on Leno tonight ? - You okay ?|- Well-- Yeah, I'm just fine. What--|What happened ? Shaking-- Okay. All right. Now, let's pull this|together, buddy. I mean,|this is what we do. - You okay ?|- Yeah. Just regrouping. - Lola ? - I can do this better.|- Wanna bet ? Yeah. Amazing !|Amazing. Oh ! It was like... you were more inside of me|than anybody ever ! - Well, thanks, doll. - I tried.|- No, no. - I mean, more inside my head.|- Oh. Like, you knew what I wanted|and how I wanted it. We connected in a way|that was beyond-- beyond-- Oh, my heart ! My heart is beating|so hard. Who would've thought ? Slow starter, then turns out to be|a genius in bed. Ladies and gentlemen,|Nick Marshall is a sex god ! Oh, yeah. |
WAR Wag The Dog Waga seishun ni kuinashi 1946 Wait Until Dark CD1 Wait Until Dark CD2 Waking Ned Devine (1998) Waking Ned Divine Waking Up In Reno Walk On The Moon A 1999 Walk To Remember A Walk on Water Walk on the Wild Side Walking With Beasts BBC Part02 Whale Killer Walking With Beasts BBC Part03 Land Of Giants Walking With Beasts BBC Part04 Next Of Kin Walking With Beasts BBC Part05 Sabre Tooth Walking With Beasts BBC Part06 Mammoth Journey Walking and Talking 1996 Walking tall (2004) Walking with Dinosaurs Wall Street Wall The Wanted 2003 WarGames (1983) CD1 WarGames (1983) CD2 War CD1 War CD2 War Game The War Game The (author commentary) War Hunt 1962 War Is Over The (Alain Resnais 1966) War Lover The 1962 War Zone The War and Peace CD1 War and Peace CD2 War of the Roses The War of the Worlds The War of the Worlds The (1953) Warm Water Under a Red Bridge (Shohei Imamura 2001) CD1 Warm Water Under a Red Bridge (Shohei Imamura 2001) CD2 Warriors Of Heaven And Earth 2003 CD1 Warriors Of Heaven And Earth 2003 CD2 Warriors Of Heaven And Earth CD1 Warriors Of Heaven And Earth CD2 Warriors The Wasabi 2001 Wash The Washington Heights (2002) Watcher The Watchtower Water Drops on Burning Rock Waterboy The Waterboys 2001 Waterloo 1970 CD1 Waterloo 1970 CD2 Waters Edge Watership Down Waterworld Way We Were The Way of the Gun The Waynes World Waynes World 1992 Waynes World 2 We Are No Angels 1989 We Dont Live Here Anymore We Were Soldiers Weapon of War CD1 Weapon of War CD2 Wedding Planner The Wedding Singer The Wedlock 1991 Weekend Godard 1967 Weekend at Bernies II Weight of Water The Weird Science CD1 Weird Science CD2 Welcome Back Mr McDonald 1997 Welcome To Mooseport Welcome to Collinwood (2002) Welcome to Sarajevo Welcome to the Dollhouse Wes Cravens New Nightmare West Side Story CD1 West Side Story CD2 West Wing The Westler Westworld (1973) Whale Rider Whale Rider 2002 Whales Of August The 1987 Whasango CD1 Whasango CD2 What About Bob (1991) What Dreams May Come CD1 1998 What Dreams May Come CD2 1998 What Fault Is It Of Ours 2003 CD1 What Fault Is It Of Ours 2003 CD2 What Lies Beneath CD1 What Lies Beneath CD2 What Planet Are You From What Price Glory What Women Want What Women Want CD1 What Women Want CD2 What a Girl Wants What a Way to Go 1964 Whatever Happened to Baby Jane 1962 Whatever It Takes Whats Eating Gilbert Grapewegg CD1 Whats Eating Gilbert Grapewegg CD2 Whats Love Got To Do With It 1993 Whats New Pussycat Whats The Worst That Could Happen Whats Up Doc Wheels on Meals When A Man Loves A Woman 1994 CD1 When A Man Loves A Woman 1994 CD2 When Harry Met Sally When I Turned Nine 2004 CD1 When I Turned Nine 2004 CD2 When Ruoma Was Seventeen 2002 When The Last Sword Is Drawn 2003 CD1 When The Last Sword Is Drawn 2003 CD2 When Will I Be Loved 2004 When the Rain Lifts 1999 When the Sky Falls When we were kings Where Angels Go Trouble Follows (James Neilson 1968) Where Eagles Dare CD1 Where Eagles Dare CD2 Where The Heart Is Where the Red Fern Grows 2003 Where the Sidewalk Ends Whipped Whirlpool 1949 Whisper of the Heart White Chicks White Dragon White Fang - To the Rescue White Man Cant Jump CD1 White Man Cant Jump CD2 White Palace White Sheik The White Sun Of The Desert 1970 White Valentine - 25fps - 1999 White Valentine 1999 Who Are You 2002 CD1 Who Are You 2002 CD2 Who Is Cletis Tout Who framed Roger Rabbit (1988) Whole Nine Yards The Whole ten yards The Whos Afraid of Virginia Woolf CD1 Whos Afraid of Virginia Woolf CD2 Whos Harry Crumb Whos That Knocking at My Door Whos Your Daddy Wicked - 29,970fps 1998 Wicked 1998 Wicked 1998 29,970fps Wicked City - 1973 Wicked City 1973 Wicker Park CD1 Wicker Park CD2 Wild Bunch The Wild Bunch The - Restored Directors Cut Wild One The Wind Carpet The (Kamal Tabrizi 2003) Wind Will Carry Us The CD1 Wind Will Carry Us The CD2 Wings of Desire CD1 Wings of Desire CD2 Wizard Of Darkness Wizard of Oz The CD1 Wizard of Oz The CD2 Women from Mars Women in Black The World Is Not Enough The Worst of Ed Wood Boxed Set The |