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-Another show place, Mr. Connor. -Yeah, that's quite a shack. -Who owns that? -My Uncle Willie. lt's being turned into a boys' school next year. He wanted to sell it for taxes. When he couldn't, he decided to give it away. lt was cheaper. Would you like to see it? Sure. -Good afternoon, Lawrence. -l didn't hear you ring. We barged in. ls Uncle Willie around? -No, he hasn't returned from lunch yet. -That's right. l forget. -We'll be at the bar, if you don't mind. -Not at all, Miss Tracy. -Good afternoon, John. -Good afternoon, Miss Tracy. -Your Uncle Willie's getting kicked out? -They're getting ready for a party. -A last fling? -Sort of. lt's my bachelor party. -Hello, Tommy. -Good afternoon. -Girls only? -We're democratic. We're allowing men. The only bachelor parties l attended were with girls who came out of cakes. Please, Mr. Connor. This is Newport. This is a bar? Uncle Willie's the kind of man who doesn't like to go far when he's thirsty. l'm gonna have to buddy it up with Uncle Willie. l had a bed that did that once. Are you getting an interesting story on us, Mr. Connor? Why can't you break down and call me Mike? l couldn't possibly break down. l was raised on a pedestal. Would you? l sense something's bothering you and l'm getting clobbered for it. You're a darned attractive girl. But instead of an orchid on your shoulder, you're wearing a chip. You think l'm attractive? A high priestess? You're awful tough to figure. When you write your story about us, compare me to one of these homes... ...boarded up, a thing of the past, a relic to be sold for taxes. Miss Lord, you've got rocks in your head. No. The truth is that l don't fit into the landscape either. -The house has been boarded up too long. -There's an answer for that too. Tear the boards down. Throw open the windows... ...and let the wind blow through. That's better. What goes on here? There's a dark horse in this race and my boy's running a slow third. What we need is a little change of pace music, Junior. Now we're getting warm. That's quite a brawl. Yes. One of the prettiest sights in this pretty world... ...is the sight of the privileged class enjoying its privileges. They're really not a bad bunch when you get to know them. -You getting to know them? -Slowly. ""With the rich and mighty, it takes a little patience."" That's an old Spanish proverb. Yes. Well, l come from a long line of Swedes. We have an old saying too: ""When the cat's away, why should the mouse act like a rat?"" Liz! Liz, l've been looking for you. Really? Well, l've been right here all the time, Mr. Lord. -l beg your pardon? Oh, no, call me Seth. -Seth. Your daughter doesn't resemble you. ln fact, there's an amazing difference. Well, naturally. She's a girl, you know, and l'm a wicked old man. -Willie! -Mary? Dexter's looking for you. Mrs. Lord, you called him Willie. Miss lmbrie, there's a misunderstanding which l'd like to clear up. -ln the first place, l'm Seth Lord. -Yes. Yes. -Well, that makes you.... -Available. -l don't get it. -Don't go away. -l'll be right back. -Oh, dear. You are here in exchange for repressing an article about me. However, you should know that l'll sue your editor... ...if anything derogatory to any of us is published. Okay? -l hope you do. -Mr. Lord, Mrs. Lord, you must know... ...that Mike and l weren't told anything about this. -Why, of course. -Mother! Mother, l'm so glad to see you. -Mike. -Hello, Mr. Kittredge. Hello, Father. -Miss lmbrie, you having a wonderful time? -Wonderful. -Mike, are you having a wonderful time? -lt's a gasser. lsn't that wonderful? George? -Shall we dance? -We were. Goodbye. George? Are you having a wonderful time? -lsn't it a beautiful party? -Yes, a very nice party. -Wouldn't you like to sit down, dear? -Here? Don't be silly. We'll get stepped on. l thought perhaps you were tired. l see that Dexter's here. Everybody's here. Everybody's having a wonderful time. That's nice, isn't it, George? Yes, it's very nice, Tracy, very nice. Very nice. Thank you very much. That was splendid. Very nice indeed. We are honored in Newport to have visiting us several famous orchestras... ...for the jazz festival tomorrow night. Among them, the greatest of them all... ...Mr. Louis Armstrong. Yeah. We also have with us one of the sponsors of the festival, Mr. Dexter-Haven. -So l'll ask Dexter to explain. -Thank you. Dear gentle folk of Newport-- Or maybe l should say, ""hats and cats""? l want you to lend an ear because-- Well, l want you to hear some really shimmering sharps and flats. -Look here, l want to dance with Tracy. -Do you, Uncle Willie? That's nice. You two can dance the rest of your life. -Let's the three of us dance together. -No, no, no, my dear. That just isn't done, you know. -Are you having a wonderful time? -l most certainly am. You know, you're my very favorite uncle. l'd be highly complimented if it weren't for the fact... ...that l'm the only uncle you have. l think that's sad. You're the only uncle l have in the whole world. -May l? -May you what? -Dance with the bride. -You may dance with the bride. -Are you coming to my wedding, Dexter? -No. -What's the matter, don't you like weddings? -Depends on who's getting married. -lt's gonna be a nice wedding. -l'm sure it will. That's a very cute song you sang. Why don't you write cute songs like that? -l wrote that one. -Well, l still like it. -You're really floating tonight, aren't you? -Really floating, aren't l? l'm sensational, everybody said so. lt got dark all of a sudden. -Very dark. -lt's too dark. Since l won't be at the wedding, don't l get to kiss the bride? Everybody kisses the bride. l want everybody to be happy, even you, Dexter. You may kiss the bride. Oh, Sam, all the happiness in the world. Oh, Dex. Tracy! -Hello, George. -Just kissing the bride. You know, the old custom. Yes, just kissing the bride. lt's a very old custom. You're not fooling anybody, Dexter. The wedding is tomorrow... ...and you're not gonna block it. Come on, dear. -Are we gonna dance, George? -No, dear. -What are we going to do? -l think you ought to lie down. But l feel fine. l'm sensational. Behave yourself. You're sensational, all right. Now, l want you to lie down and rest. l'll see that you're not disturbed. -George, lie down with me. -Tracy! You'll find it under Harvard Classics. Give Darwin a little nudge there. l thought l'd pour a little champagne. lt's a great leveler. -lt makes you my equal. -l wouldn't say that. Well, it almost makes you my equal. C.K. Dexter-Haven... ...didn't you once know a girl named Tracy Samantha Lord? -Sounds familiar. -No, you didn't. lf you had known her, you'd never let her get away. -You got hiccups. -Excuse. lt's all right. Tracy's no ordinary woman. So l understand. You are still in love with her. -Don't deny it, buddy. -l wasn't going to. -Does she know this? -Yeah, she knows it. -No, that ain't the way l get it. -What's that? l'm gonna have a drink. l may have some bubbly myself. -l'm gonna dance. -Don't get hurt. Hands up! l hate you. -Where do you think you're going? -Someplace and dance. But they're dancing in there. l know, but George is frowning at me. l can't dance when anyone frowns at me. We'll go over the wall. -Whose car shall we use? -Anyone's. -Let's use the blue one. -No, that's mine. -Hello, George. Where's Tracy? -Powdering her nose. -Hello. -Hello. You look fine. l feel fine. Do you hear a telephone ringing? lt's my bedroom telephone. lt's probably George. -You can't marry him. -No? Well, l'm going to. -He's not in your class. -Snob. George comes from the so-called ""lower class,"" Dexter from the upper. Well, l'll take the lower every time. Sure, as long as you can't get a drawing room. -You're insulting. -l'm sorry. -Don't apologize. -Who's apologizing? You are. lf you don't think l'll marry George, you come around tomorrow morning. lt's already tomorrow morning. So it is. Oh, let's not quarrel, Mike. -What you need is another drink. -That's right. l can't find Liz. l just saw someone wander out into the garden. Alone. Oh, you don't tell me. The little vixen. Ollie ollie oxen free. -Uncle Willie giving you a little trouble? -He's gonna end up a juvenile delinquent. -Have you seen Mike anywhere? -No. No? That's funny. He disappeared over an hour ago. Where's Tracy? This party's turning into a game of hide-and-seek. -She's disappeared. -Phone her at home. -l did. There was no answer. -Try again. All right, l will. Well, since Mike's disappeared too, l may as well go home. How about me taking you home? Then everybody'd come look for us. That's the nicest thing l've heard tonight. You know, the strangest thing. l keep thinking l hear bells. That's the champagne for you. They're now putting bells in the bubbles. You're quite a fellow. That's what they say. -Let's go for a swim in the moonlight. -But you wanted to dance. -Tonight l want to do everything. -Rumba. Oh, Tracy, Tracy. Darling, you're lit from within. Bright, so bright. -l don't seem made of bronze, then? -No, you're made of flesh and blood. -That's the blank, unholy surprise of it all. -Oh, Mike, keep talking. -All of a sudden l've got the shakes. -Yeah, me too. -What is it? -lt couldn't be love, could it? Oh, no, no, no, it mustn't. -Why? Would it be inconvenient? -Terribly. Oh, Tracy. You're tremendous! That's funny, because l feel very small. Put me in your pocket, Mike. Golly. Golly Moses. We're out of our minds. And into our hearts, though. What are we going to do? l don't know about you, but l'm gonna go into the water. Liz, you're in love with Connor, aren't you? People ask the darndest questions. Why don't you marry him? l didn't hear you. l'm going to bed. Thank you, Mr. C.K. Dexter-Haven. l said, why don't you marry him? l think he's still got a lot to learn. l don't wanna get in his way for a while. Suppose some other dame comes along in the meantime? l'd scratch her eyes out. Unless she were marrying someone else the next day. You're quite a gal, Liz. Oh, l don't know. l take nice pictures, though. -Night. -Night. -Oh, it's you, Mr. Haven. -Hey, Mac. There's so much loot for the wedding, l keep checking. l won't take anything. l'm not getting married this time, you know. -l wish it were, sir. Good night. -Good night. -That you, Haven? -Oh, yeah. -What are you doing here? -l just brought Liz home. Why? l still haven't found Tracy. Well, she's asleep, l should say. She's getting married tomorrow. Don't be funny. l telephoned her. Her phone didn't answer. When we were married, that phone would always ring and she'd never bat an eye. She's a very remarkable girl. l recall-- l prefer not to discuss Tracy with you, if you don't mind. You've got a very big day tomorrow. Let me walk you to the gatehouse. -That sounds like Tracy. -No, that's the night watchman. -lt's a woman's voice. -Well, he's a lyric tenor, you see. That's right. -George, honestly, l think you should go. -Beautiful. Okay, but you're never gonna understand. That's nice. That's nice. You can sing for me anytime, Tracy. -Take me upstairs, Mike. -Tracy! Oh, hello, Georgie Porgie. She sprained her ankle? Not wounded, sir, but dead. She dove in the pool. And when she hit the water, the wine hit her. -You expect me to believe that, Connor? -l don't give a-- lt's right up at the top of the stairs. Second door to the right. -Fairies are at the bottom of my garden. -l know. -They're all ringing little bells. -Congratulations. l wouldn't go jumping at conclusions. This isn't all that meets the eye here. Tracy, of all people. Yes, Tracy, of all people. But you don't believe.... The implications aren't exactly what they seem. -l suppose you think it's innocent. -l'm sure the intention was innocent. You don't know women as well as l thought you did. How could she do this to me? ln the morning, Tracy won't remember a thing that happened tonight. -l think you ought to forget about it too. -Oh, you and your sophisticated ideas! lt all comes from having things too easy all your life. Oh, yes, it's terrible, isn't it? -lf you fellas will listen to me-- -You filthy-- l'm sorry, but she isn't your wife yet, and she was mine, you know. You okay, Connor? l thought l'd better hit you before he did. He's in much better shape. You'll do. Say, pal, just what did happen here tonight? Well, see, l.... Well, l guess we're really gonna have a wedding after all. For a while last night, it seemed to be touch-and-go. Shouldn't you be out front taking pictures of the guests as they arrive? Am l in your way? l haven't noticed. Look, Mike. lf l ever am in your way, don't honk. Just run over me. You're quite a girl, Liz. That's the second time in the last 24 hours that a man has said that to me. l guess l must be getting either booky, hippy or toothy. l'll get my Brownie and go to work. Shut up, you fool! Good morning, sir. Don't scream at the top of your lungs. l had champagne last night. Sorry, sir. -Could l get you anything, sir? -You might give me a glass of that water. And a new head, if you've got one. What's going on here anyway? l expected to find the police and at least two hacked-up bodies. The police, sir? Has anything happened to Caroline? Good morning, Willie. -Good morning. -Don't get up, dear. Thank you. Thank you. What is the matter with Caroline? She's been telephoning all morning, urging me to get here before the wedding. She's been screaming that it's a matter of life and death. l don't know what's the matter with her. She dashed in this morning, screaming that Tracy can't marry George. That she must marry that newspaperman. -You don't say! Why? -Yes, why? What's Caroline's reason? Hi, Willie. Sweetheart. -Can l have a little jam? -Yes, dear. l don't know. Caroline must've had a nightmare about something she thought she saw. l'll have to keep her in her room until after the wedding. -lt must've been a bad dream. -lt must've been a whizzer. Uncle Willie, may l tell you something? This morning you look like a tree full of owls. This is the sort of day that history teaches us is better spent in bed. Hello, everybody! lsn't it a fine day, though? ls everybody fine? That's fine. Oh, good morning, Uncle Willie. Where is everybody? -Do you like my dress? -Oh, yes, it's quite beautiful, my dear. lt's awfully heavy. l can't seem to get my eyes open. Oh, Dexter! What are you doing here? Caroline called me to come over. She's been telephoning everybody in the county. -Now, go home! Please do! -Oh, no, not until we get those eyes open. And how do you feel otherwise? Oh, l don't know what's the matter with me. l-- l don't seem to remember last night at all. -l must've had too much sun yesterday. -Yes, the sun will do it every time. You left the party and came right home to bed. l did? Thank you. lt's nice to have things accounted for. Only, l wonder what this might be? lt appears to be a gentleman's wristwatch. But whose? l nearly stepped on it. -Getting out of bed? -Yes, why? Oh, nothing. There's another mystery. l think l was robbed last night. Oh, really? Yes. My engagement ring and earrings and bracelets are missing everywhere. Somebody's houseguest from New York, no doubt. -Nobody's here from New York. -l have a few little baubles here. -Where did you find them? -Don't tell me you don't remember. -Did l give them to you? -l just stumbled across them. Sam, if you're gonna drink champagne, you ought to take a swim. Nothing like a swim, you know, to open the eyes. Now they're open. What do you say we slip into the pantry and have a little toddy for the body? Medicinal. lf it gets dull around here, have Caroline tell you about her dream. lt's a dilly. Morning. You.... You all right? Me? Of course. Why shouldn't l be? -You put away a gang of wine last night. -l had a simply wonderful evening. -l hope you enjoyed it too. -Oh, yes, l sure did. lndeed l did. Especially the last part of it. Why especially the last? You're asking me? Oh, you mean the swim? We did swim and so forth, didn't we? Yeah, we swam and so forth. -What can l say, darling? -Oh, not anything. Don't say anything. And especially not darling. You mean you're going through with it? The wedding? Why shouldn't l? No regrets about last night? Why should l have? That's the stuff, Tracy. You're wonderful! No, Mike, you don't know what l mean. l'm asking you. Tell me the reason why l shouldn't have. No, don't. Just tell me what time it is. l'd love to, but l seem to have lost my watch. You don't know how extremely sorry l am to hear you say that. Oh, there it is. l ought to give you a reward. Where'd you find it? Let's just say l stumbled over it. Hey, Mike. How are you this bright and festive morning? -That for me? -No, it's for Tracy. Would you like one? l'd sell my grandmother for a drink. Uncle Willie's in the pantry... ...doing weird and wonderful things with various healing waters. -Can l ask for two? -Go till you run out of grandmothers. l'll be drinking a long time. Doctor's orders, Sam. -What is it? -Just the juice of a few fresh flowers. -lt's called a stinger. Removes the sting. -Don't say that. Why not? Nothing can. Nothing ever will. l've done the most terrible thing to you. Oh, l doubt that. l doubt that very much. l've always been so hard on people who weren't perfect. -What am l going to do? -Well, why to me, darling? l don't see where l figure in this anymore. Aren't you confusing me with a fella named George Kittredge? George! l've got to tell him! -He knows. He was here too. -Good grief, why didn't you sell tickets? You better finish your drink. What did George say last night? Well, he was a little shaken, but l guess he'll rally. Oh, l'm such an unholy mess of a girl. Oh, now, come on. That's not even good conversation. How'd you like my wedding present? l'm not used to having my gifts go unacknowledged. Oh, it was beautiful and sweet. -She was quite a boat, the True Love. -Was and is. Boy, she was yare. But l wasn't, was l? No, you were. You were very good at the bright work. l can still see you out there on the deck. Down on your knees with your little cake of polish. l made her shine. -Where is she now? -She's in the yards being gone over. l thought l'd sell her to this fella, Rufe Watries, at Oyster Bay. -For money? -Why not? -To that fat old rum pot? -l'm gonna design another. Thought l'd call it the True Love II. What do you think? l'll tell you what you could call her: the Easy Virtue. Oh, now, come on, Sam. l won't have you thinking such things about yourself. Cut it out. But it's true. A little slip now and then is good for people. Especially if they learn something. On, l don't know anything anymore. Now, that sounds hopeful. That's just fine. Well, there's one consoling thought, Dexter. -You're well rid of me. -No, nobody can say that but me. l hope we're not interrupting anything. As if we didn't know we were. Tracy, Liz and l think we're gonna resign from SPY magazine. We're not turning in the story. We're gonna burn it to keep warm this winter. -You can have it as a wedding present. -Oh, thank you. Thank you both. You're dear and sweet, and l don't deserve your kindness. -Easy come, easy go. -Oh, but you'll stay for the wedding? Oh, well, l-- Oh, here comes the groom! Why, it's George. Tracy, please get rid of these people. l want to talk to you. There's no need for them to go. Everybody seems to know about last night. -Just collecting expressions. -lt's a lovely day for a wedding. -lt rained for us. -l'm not sure yet that there'll be a wedding. l've been up all night. l cannot decide what is the best thing to do. l'm entitled to a full explanation before l'm asked to make a decision. Unfortunately, George, l have no explanation. l wish for your sake, as well as mine, l had. -You'll grant l have the right to be angry. -You certainly have. -On the very eve of your wedding. -l told you l agreed. Better hurry up and decide. -The guests are all settled. -This doesn't concern you. -Nor you. -No, don't go. Please stay. -On the eve of your wedding. -You've said that. You keep out of this. And you too. Mr. Kittredge, it might interest you to know that our so-called affair... ...consisted of exactly two kisses and one rather late swim. All of which l enjoyed and the memory of which l wouldn't part with for anything. lt's no use, Mike. After which l accompanied her to her room, deposited her on the bed... ...and returned to you two on the porch, which you will doubtless remember. You mean to say that was all there was to it? l do. Why? Was l so unattractive, so distant... ...so forbidding or cold or something? -Well, this is fine talk, Tracy. -l'm asking a question. You were extremely attractive, Tracy. And as for distant and forbidding, on the contrary. However, you were somewhat a little worse, or the better, for the wine. And there are rules about things like that. Oh, thank you, Mike. -Oh, l think men are wonderful. -The little dears. Well, this is a fine time to be telling me. Why? Where's the difference? lf my wonderful, beautiful, marvelous virtue is still intact, it's no thanks to me. lt's purely by courtesy of the gentleman from South Bend. Local papers, please copy. Well, since nothing really happened... ...perhaps we just better drop the whole subject. George, l don't want you to marry me because you think l'm now worthy of you. lt would've meant much more if you had married me because l was unworthy. -But a man expects his wife to-- -l know, to behave herself. Naturally. To behave herself naturally. Well, what's done is done. We can't turn back the clock. Oh, l wished l'd have said that. You're at liberty to leave at any time. l don't relish having you at my wedding. ls there going to be a wedding, George? Yes, Tracy. ln spite of the circumstances, l'm big enough to overlook a single indiscretion. No, you're too good for me, George. l couldn't bear a perfect man. l'd make you most unhappy. Most. l know l'd try my best to. She would too. All right, if that's the way you feel. That's that. l have never begged in my life. l've got a feeling you had more to do with this than anyone. -l hope you're right. -You and your whole rotten class. -Oh, class my-- -Grandmother! Well, there goes George. -Oh, my sainted aunt! -You're on. -What am l gonna do? -Say a few words. -Put your hat on. -Put it on. You'll think of something. You're gonna look lovely. -What am l gonna do? What'll l say? -Your father will make an announcement. -Anything special you want me to say? -Oh, thank you. No. -l got myself into it, l'll get myself out. -As you wish. Go, go! Hello, everybody. l just want to say that.... Oh, will you stop that racket, please? Thank you. Good morning. l'd like to say.... Well, there's been a little hitch. l've made a terrible fool of myself, which isn't at all unusual. Well, my fiancé that was.... Well, he thinks we ought to call it a day, and l quite agree with him. -Help me. -Tell them two years ago l did you... ...out of a wedding by eloping in Maryland. Two years ago l did you out of a wedding in this house by eloping to Maryland. l hope to make it up now by going thought with it. But l hope to make it up now by going through with it.... As originally and most beautifully planned. -So if you'll just keep your seats. -So if you'll just keep your lovely seats. -That's all. -That's all. -Oh, Dexter, are you sure? -No, but l'll risk it if you will. -You're not just doing it to save my face? -lt's such a nice face. -Come on, Dexter, we've no time to lose. -See you in a minute. Oh, Father, l'm so glad you came back. -l'm glad you're here. -Thank you, Tracy. And l'm sorry, l'm truly sorry, l've been a disappointment to you. l never said that, darling, and l never will. l love you, Father. And l love you, my daughter. Help me off the pedestal. Watch out for that first step. lt's quite a tumble. Pretty contagious idea, isn't it? Well, l must confess l'm not exactly immune. Liz, l know l'm not destiny's dream man... ...but l thought maybe-- Oh, Mike, l think l better grab you before somebody else does. You're liable to get in trouble one of these days. Come on, we'll develop this later. End of story. [ENGLlSH] |
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