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Futurama 4x08 - Crimes of the Hot

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Crimes of the Hot
Hurry up with the water. I'm steaming inside my own shell, I am.
It's that hot, it is.
Man, it's hot. How hot is it?
It's so hot, I poured McDonald's coffee in my lap to cool off.
Johnny Carson said it.
No, Nibbler! Don't drink the pool water! It's full of chlorine.
Lightweights. Oh, wait, chlorine.
Perhaps this movie will help take our minds off the heat.
BENDER: Focus!
ANNOUNCER: Global Warming or: None Like It Hot!
You're probably wondering why your ice cream went away.
Well, Suzie, the culprit isn't foreigners. It's global warming.
-Gwobal wap-po? -Yeah.
Meet Mr. Sunbeam. He comes all the way from the sun to visit Earth.
Hello, Earth. Just popping in to brighten your day.
And now I'll be on my way.
Not so fast, sunbeam. We're greenhouse gases.
You ain't going nowhere.
Oh, God, it hurts!
ANNOUNCER: Pretty soon, Earth is chock-full of sunbeams...
... their rotting corpses heating our atmosphere.
How do we get rid of the greenhouse gases?
Fortunately, our handsomest politicians came up with a cheap. . .
. . .Iast-minute way to combat global warming.
Ever since 2063, we simply drop a giant ice cube. . .
. . .into the ocean every now and then.
Just like Daddy puts in his drink every morning.
And then he gets mad.
Of course, since the greenhouse gases are still building up. . .
. . .it takes more and more ice each time.
Thus, solving the problem once and for all.
-But-- -Once and for all!
Well, we just need one of those big ice cubes.
Call the losers who were supposed to deliver it.
-Hello? -President Nixon here.
I'm hiring you losers to deliver the ice. And hurry up.
I'm sweating like J. Edgar Hoover trying to squeeze into a new girdle.
You heard the good news, everyone. Save the Earth, et cetera, et cetera. Bye.
-Wait. Where do we get the ice? -The what?
Oh, Halley's comet, of course.
The only sufficient source of ice cubes that don't have bugs in them.
Wow. Mining a comet. That sounds fun.
Yes. There's no safer occupation than mining.
Especially when you're perched on a snowball. . .
. . .whipping through space at a million miles an hour.
Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!
Deploying ice drill.
Wow. That ice dispenser's so big the ice crushes you.
-Yakov Smirnoff said it. -No, he didn't.
Activating ice drill.
Oh, my God! It's out of ice! Like some outer-space Motel 6.
Completely out of ice?
This could mean the end of the banana daiquiri as we know it.
Also life.
With Halley's comet out of ice...
...Earth is experiencing the devastating effects of intense global warming.
Morbo is pleased but sticky.
The scorching heat has melted the polar icecaps...
...causing floods of biblical proportion.
They called me crazy for building this ark.
You are crazy. You filled it with same-sex animal couples.
Hey! There are parts of the Bible I like and parts I don't like.
MORBO: Direct your pity now to the African turtles...
...seen here migrating to cooler homes in Holland.
That poor turtle.
-Bender, are you crying? -No. Never.
Morbo wishes these stalwart nomads peace amongst the Dutch tulips.
I'm sure those windmills will keep them cool.
Windmills do not work that way! Good night!
Well, everybody, I just saved a turtle. What have you done with your lives?
You went all the way to Holland already?
Bender, a turtle isn't yourself. Why do you care about it?
Because I also care deeply about things that remind me of myself.
Like poor little Shelly here.
What could you possibly have in common with this walking soup mix?
For one thing, we both have a tough outer shell.
But lead a rich, inner life. And also. . .
. . .well, you know.
You're both alcoholic, whore-mongering, chain-smoking gamblers?
No. It's just. . .
. . .neither of us can get up when we get knocked on our back.
What? I've seen you get up off your back tons of times.
-Those times I was slightly on my side. -Interesting.
Maybe we should test this erectile dysfunction of yours, Bender.
No, that's not necessary, really. I think I hear my factory recalling me.
That's what I get for sharing my vulnerability with you.
MAN OVER SPEAKER: Calling all scientists.
There will be a worldwide conference on global warming in Kyoto, Japan.
I've got a degree in homeopathic medicine.
You've got a degree in baloney.
-Professor Farnsworth, you're a scientist. -Forget it. I'm not going.
I have my reasons. Shut up, all of you!
You haven't acted this suspicious since I found the "ape bones" in the basement.
My hip hurts. I'm in the middle of cooking a turkey.
I have warranty cards to fill out. I am not just making excuses.
All right, I'll go!
WOMAN: I can't believe it! I love you!
It's Professor Hubert Farnsworth!
He's looking sharp in a standard white lab coat and dark slacks.
His wristwatch is a Casio.
Thank you all for coming.
It is my pleasure to introduce the host of the Kyoto Global Warming Convention.
The inventor of the environment and first emperor of the moon, AI Gore.
I have ridden the mighty moon worm.
Good for him.
My fellow Earthicans, as I discuss in my book, Earth in the Balance. . .
. . .and the much more popular Harry Potter and the Balance of Earth. . .
. . .we need to defend our planet against pollution, as well as dark wizards.
Sure, blame the wizards.
That's why I'm offering a bag of moon sapphires. . .
. . .to the first scientist who can solve this problem once and for all.
CROWD: Ah. . . . Ooh. . . .
-Lovely, aren't they? -Sapphires?
With those, I could open the gate of Girash.
First up is Professor Ogden Wornstrum.
Ladies and gentlemen, I have placed in orbit a giant mirror. . .
. . .that will reflect 40 percent of the sun's rays, thus cooling Earth. Observe.
Problem solved.
That's a little bright.
All right. What else we got?
Professor, you're a professor. You must have some ideas.
Absolutely not! I won't speak. I've got nothing to hide.
-Our next speaker is Professor-- -I demand the floor!
-Yes, it's your turn to speak. -Well, nuts to me. I'm taking the stage.
I know the source of the greenhouse gases. . .
. . .but in my shame, I've kept it secret for 75 long years.
Oh, it haunts my memory still.
-Professor, no! Don't do it! -Don't do what?
Don't use this memory ray so I can remember what happened back then?
It was October 1 7 at 1 :54 p.m. and 1 4 birds were flying by the window.
I was working at Mom 's Friendly Robot Company.
Back then, robots were slow-moving, stiff and a little on the uptight side.
Oh, dear, might I favor master with a tender kiss on the forehead?
Oh, I've failed again.
Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, dear.
FARNSWORTH: The company's owner pressured me to create a sportier robot.
It wasn 't easy. But by sacrificing fuel efficiency, I succeeded.
-What was that? -A flaming burp.
-Does it always do that? -It's not always a burp.
We still have one problem, though.
This robot would never meet emission standards.
Crap spackle!
We'll just call it a sport utility robot and classify it as a light truck.
Well. . .
. . .I suppose the environment can take one more for the team.
What a fool I was!
If only I had made the effort to develop a cleaner-burning robot...
...but I was tired and in love.
Take me now, you stud.
Oh, this is all my fault!
That's awful, professor. Especially the making-out part.
Yeah, I didn't need to hear that.
All modern robots descend from my original smog-blasting designs. . .
. . .and that's the cause of global warming today.
So the robots are to blame, as I suspected.
We are left with only one possible course of action, grim though it be.
I got a good feeling about this.
We must immediately and permanently. . .
. . .shut down, dismantle and destroy all robots!
-Wait! Surely there's a better-- -The conference is over.
I must go now to help collect cans on Jupiter.
Peace out, y'all.
ALL: Destroy all robots! Destroy all robots!
-Poor Bender. -Be brave, my friend.
Come on. You've got to come out of your chest sometime.
Would you do it for a Bender snack?
FRY: Ah-ha! -Gotcha!
BENDER: Let me go! I don't even want the stupid beer.
Yes! You tried to trick me into coming out of my chest.
But who has the beer now?
I've got mail.
It's a party, apparently.
Do you like to party? To boogie down?
Well, I'm throwing an all-night beach rager for my robot pals.
It all goes down this Saturday on the isolated Galápagos lslands. . .
. . .where there will be no escape. . .
. . .from the fun. All robots must attend!
Why would Nixon, an awkward, uncomfortable man, throw a party?
One of the most social events imaginable?
It's a trap is why! They're going to deactivate all the robots.
-I don't hear any gasping. -We all figured that out.
-Oh. . . . -Well, I'm off.
We can hide you. We'll pile fruit on you and claim you're a bowl.
-No. I'm going to the party. -I won't let you!
Fry, as you know, there are lots of things I'm willing to kill for.
Jewels, vengeance, Father O'Malley's weed whacker.
But at long last, I've found something I'm willing to die for.
This mindless turtle.
Bender, this world isn't good enough for you.
Not even close.
Goodbye, everybody. Don't touch my stuff after I'm dead.
It's booby-trapped!
Oh, yeah, baby! Come on. Come on, baby.
Poor guy. Maybe you'd feel better if I had a drink.
Crummy keg, it's completely tapped--
-Oh, you're a robot. -Don't stop.
-Ew! -Attention, happening robots.
Who's got what it takes to party with Nixon?
You fellas enjoy yourselves for the next two hours. . .
. . .and be sure not to leave the island for at least two hours.
I'm going out to pick up some smokes.
Really good smokes.
Two hours.
Okay, headless body of Agnew, let's blow this joint.
BIG ROBOT: Do you want to dance? -No, I'm not really in the--
You know you want to.
Per your orders, I modified my mirror. . .
. . .to fire a colossal electromagnetic pulse at the Galápagos.
Every robot will be instantly and painfully terminated.
Now, for your part of the bargain.
Very well. Agnew, you belong to Wornstrum now.
I'll say goodbye now.
There ain't no turtles where Daddy's going.
Don't tell anybody, but Nixon's about to shut all the robots off and--
ROBOTS: We're gonna die! We're going to the great beyond.
Nixon's not bringing the smokes.
Shut up and pay attention to me. Bender.
Look, I love life and its pleasures as much as anyone here.
Except perhaps you, Hedonism Bot.
But we need to be shut off! Especially you, Hedonism Bot.
-I apologize for nothing. -We pollute too much!
We're destroying the world and killing the turtles!
-To hell with the turtles! -No one insults the turtles!
Come on, you!
Let the games begin.
Everyone listen!
Ah! Damn!
I've devised a way to save you and stop global warming at the same time.
Granted, you're all blasting out greenhouse gases.
You're one to talk.
But we can use those very gases to save the planet.
If you all vent your exhausts directly upward in one burst. . .
. . .it should thrust the Earth further from the sun, thus cooling it.
By my calculations, we'll need the full force of every last robot.
So quickly, everyone point your exhaust vents straight upward.
Now vent. Vent like the wind!
Harder! Harder!
Why isn't this working?
Some lazy or polite robot is holding it in.
Help! Help!
A billion robot lives are about to be extinguished.
Oh, the Jedis are going to feel this one.
I'm sorry, buddy.
At least we'll die on our backs, helpless.
What the hell are you doing?
Hey, are you trying to make me look bad?
Ah-ha! I'm even greater than I thought I was.
And now to fulfill my destiny!
-What the--? -We missed!
NIXON: Professor, for saving the Earth and foiling me. . .
. . .I proudly, yet angrily, present you with Earth's new highest honor:
The Polluting Medal of Pollution.
Thank you. I deserve this.
Hey, professor? Now that the Earth's orbit. . .
. . .is further from the sun, won't that make the year longer?
Why, yes. One week longer to be exact.
In that case, I hereby declare it Robot Party Week!
BENDER: All right, baby!
Face 2004
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Friends - 4x21 - The One With the Invitation
Friends - 4x22 - The One With the Worst Best Man Ever
Friends - 4x23 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 1
Friends - 4x24 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 2
Friends - 5x01 - The One After Ross Says Rachel
Friends - 5x02 - The One With All the Kissing
Friends - 5x03 - The One Hundreth
Friends - 5x04 - The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS
Friends - 5x05 - The One With the Kips
Friends - 5x06 - The One With the Yeti
Friends - 5x07 - The One Where Ross Moves In
Friends - 5x08 - The One With All the Thanksgivins
Friends - 5x09 - The One With Rosss Sandwich
Friends - 5x10 - The One With the Inappropiate Sister
Friends - 5x11 - The One With All the Resolutions
Friends - 5x12 - The One With Chandlers Work Laugh
Friends - 5x13 - The One With Joeys Bag
Friends - 5x14 - The One Where Everyone Finds Out
Friends - 5x15 - The One With the Girl Who Hits Joey
Friends - 5x16 - The One With the Cop
Friends - 5x17 - The One With Rachels
Friends - 5x18 - The One Where Rachel Smokes
Friends - 5x19 - The One Where Ross Cant Flirt
Friends - 5x20 - The One With the Ride-Along
Friends - 5x21 - The One With the Ball
Friends - 5x22 - The One With Joeys Big Break
Friends - 5x23 - The One in Vegas
Friends - 6x01 - The One After Vegas
Friends - 6x02 - The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel
Friends - 6x03 - The One With Rosss Denial
Friends - 6x04 - The One Where Joey Loses His
Friends - 6x05 - The One With Joeys Porsche
Friends - 6x06 - The One On the Last Night
Friends - 6x07 - The One Where Phoebe Runs
Friends - 6x08 - The One With Rosss Teeth
Friends - 6x15
Friends 7x01 - The One with Monicas Thunder
Friends 7x02 - The One With Rachels Book
Friends 7x03 - The One With Phoebes Cookies
Friends 7x04 - The One With Rachels Assistant
Friends 7x05 - The One With The Engagement Picture
Friends 7x06 - The One With The Nap Partners
Friends 7x07 - The One with Rosss Library Book
Friends 7x08 - The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs
Friends 7x09 - The One With All the Candy
Friends 7x10 - The One With The Holiday Armadillo
Friends 7x11 - The One With All The Cheesecakes
Friends 7x12 - The One Where They are Up All Night
Friends 7x13 - The One Where Rosita Dies
Friends 7x14 - The One Where They All Turn Thirty
Friends 7x15 - The One With Joeys New Brain
Friends 7x16 - The One With the Truth About London
Friends 7x17 - The One With the Cheap Wedding Dress
Friends 7x18 - The One With Joeys Award
Friends 7x19 - The One With Ross and Monicas Cousin
Friends 7x20 - The One With Rachels Kisses
Friends 7x21 - The One With the Vows
Friends 7x22 - The One With Chandlers Dad
Friends 7x23 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 1
Friends 7x24 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 2
Friends 9x01 - The One Where No One Proposes
Friends 9x02 - The One Where Emma Cries
Friends 9x03 - The One With The Pediatrician
Friends 9x04 - The One With The Sharks
Friends 9x05 - The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner
Friends 9x06 - The One With The Male Nanny
Friends 9x07 - The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song
Friends 9x08 - The One With Rachels Other Sister
Friends 9x09 - The One With Rachels Phone Number
Friends 9x10 - The One With Christmas In Tulsa
Friends 9x11 - The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work
Friends 9x12 - The One With Phoebes Rats
Friends 9x13 - The One Where Monica Sings
Friends 9x14 - The One With The Blind Dates
Friends 9x15 - The One With The Mugging
Friends 9x16 - The One With The Boob Job
Friends 9x17 - The One With The Memorial Service
Friends 9x18 - The One With The Lottery
Friends 9x19 - The One With Rachels Dream
Friends 9x20 - The One With The Soap Opera Party
Friends 9x21 - The One With The Fertility Test
Friends 9x22 - The One With The Donor
Friends 9x23-24 - The One In Barbados 1 2)
Frisson des vampires Le
From Beijing with love
From Dusk Till Dawn
From Dusk Till Dawn 3 The Hangmans Daughter
From Hell
From Justin To Kelly (Special Edition)
Frontera La
Frusta e il corpo La
Fucking Amal
Fudoh The New Generation 1996
Fugitive The - The Chase Continues
Fugitives (2000)
Fukssvansen (Chop Chop)
Full Frontal 2002
Full Metal Jacket
Full Time Killer
Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD1
Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD2
Fun in Acapulco (Richard Thorpe 1963)
Funeral Parade of Roses
Funeral in Berlin
Funny Girl
Fuochi dArtifizio
Furia (2002)
Fury The (1978)
Futurama 1x01 - Space Pilot 3000
Futurama 1x02 - The Series Has Landed
Futurama 1x03 - I Roommate
Futurama 1x04 - Loves Labors Lost in Space
Futurama 1x05 - Fear of a Bot Planet
Futurama 1x06 - A Fishful of Dollars
Futurama 1x07 - My Three Suns
Futurama 1x08 - A Big Piece of Garbage
Futurama 1x09 - Hell is Other Robots
Futurama 2x01 - A Flight to Remember
Futurama 2x02 - Mars University
Futurama 2x03 - When Aliens Attack
Futurama 2x04 - Fry and the Slurm Factory
Futurama 3x01 - Amazon Women in the Mood
Futurama 3x02 - Parasites Lost
Futurama 3x03 - A Tale of Two Santas
Futurama 3x04 - The Luck of the Fryrish
Futurama 3x05 - The Birdbot of Ice-catraz
Futurama 3x06 - Bendless Love
Futurama 3x07 - The Day the Earth Stood Stupid
Futurama 3x08 - Thats Lobstertainment
Futurama 3x09 - The Cyber House Rules
Futurama 3x10 - Insane in the Mainframe
Futurama 3x10 - Where The Buggalo Roam
Futurama 3x12 - The Route of All Evil
Futurama 3x13 - Bendin in the Wind
Futurama 3x14 - Time Keeps on Slippin
Futurama 3x15 - I Dated a Robot
Futurama 3x16 - A Leela of Her Own
Futurama 3x17 - A Pharaoh To Remember
Futurama 3x18 - Anthology of Interest Part 2
Futurama 3x19 - Roswell That Ends Well
Futurama 3x20 - Godfellas
Futurama 3x21 - Future Stock
Futurama 3x22 - The 30 Iron Chef
Futurama 4x01 - Kif Gets Knocked Up a Notch
Futurama 4x02 - Leelas Homeworld
Futurama 4x03 - Love and Rocket
Futurama 4x04 - Less Than Hero
Futurama 4x05 - A Taste of Freedom
Futurama 4x06 - Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV
Futurama 4x07 - Jurassic Bark
Futurama 4x08 - Crimes of the Hot
Futurama 4x09 - Teenage Mutant Leelas Hurdles
Futurama 4x10 - The Why of Fry
Futurama 4x11 - Where no Fan Has Gone Before
Futurama 4x12 - The Sting
Futurama 4x13 - Bend Her
Futurama 4x14 - Obsoletely Fabulous
Futurama 4x15 - The Farnsworth Parabox
Futurama 4x16 - Three Hundred Big Boys
Futurama 4x17 - Spanish Fry
Futurama 4x18 - The Devils Hands are Idle Playthings
Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD1
Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD2