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Futurama 4x07 - Jurassic Bark

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Jurassic Bark
For my next trick, notice I have nothing up my sleeves. . .
. . .and nothing in my head.
So if my lovely assistant will kindly supply me. . .
. . .with an ordinary, non-fake pitcher of milk.
Behold! The milk has vanished!
Exiled, perhaps, to another dimension!
Amazing! That's why they call you Bender the Magnificent.
No, it isn't.
They discovered an intact 20th-century pizzeria, like the one I used to work at!
Interesting. No, wait, the other thing. Tedious.
Let's check it out. You can see how I lived before I met you.
-You lived before you met me? -Sure. Lots of people did.
Really.
Truly, they were as gods who built this place.
Next, we come to the splendidly preserved wooden pizza paddle.
Scientists theorize it was used to gently discipline the delivery boy.
FRY: Wait a second. This is Panucci's!
I used to work in this exact pizzeria.
And for your information, lady, this was not just used to paddle my butt.
It was also used to move pizzas and crush rats.
I don't know where you get your facts, sir. . .
. . .but I am a volunteer housewife with 45 minutes of orientation. . .
. . .and a Harlequin romance about archeologists.
Don't wave your fancy degrees at me.
I recognize all this stuff.
Petrified sausages, old Mr. Vitelli, and that's--
[SCREAMS]
MAN: Yes? -Pizza delivery for Mr. Seymour Asses?
MAN: There's no one by that name here or anywhere.
I hope that in time you'll realize what an idiot you've been.
I wouldn't count on that.
[WHIMPERING]
Poor little guy. You look like you haven't eaten in a month.
Here. But if Mr. Panucci asks, your name is Seymour Asses.
I like you, Seymour.
You're not constantly judging me, like all the other dogs.
Are you?
We understand each other.
People think you're just a mutt who smells bad. . .
. . .can't find a girlfriend and has a crummy job.
But you're keeping it real and you call no man "Mister. "
Well, goodbye. Live long and prosper.
[WHIMPERS]
[BARKING]
That's the least appetizing calzone I've ever seen.
No! That's my dog in there! It's an outrage, I say.
BENDER: Ow! Ow!
I'm taking him home and I'd like to see anyone try and stop me.
Ow! Oh! Ow! Oh! Ah!
And then he was ejected by the guards.
Needless to say, I was mortified.
Well, it's not right to make my dead pet an exhibit.
That's like digging up Lassie and putting her in the Louvre.
Lassie is on display in the Louvre.
I know. I was deliberately describing a similar situation.
Why don't you try protesting, like those native Martians.
Always whining that people don't treat their ancestors' bones with respect.
[SLURPING]
Protesting never works.
You're right. I'll give it a shot!
ALL: What do you want? -Fry's dog!
-When do you want it? -Fry's dog!
Yeah!
I will now perform my people's native dance.
["THE HUSTLE" PLAYS]
It says here that this part of The Hustle. . .
. . .implores the gods to grant a favor, usually a Trans Am.
[SINGS "WALKING ON SUNSHINE"]
[BARKING "WALKING ON SUNSHINE"]
[SINGING]
Thattaboy, Seymour. Right here waiting for me as always.
Just like that huge mushroom in my shower.
Hey, there's our little mascot.
You been swimming in the sewer again? You rascal.
-Fry, cleanup! -Seymour, cleanup!
-Good dog. -That's a good Seymour.
There's dog fur on my slice!
No, that's vermicelli. No fur in here.
[BARKING]
FRY: He's so cute.
He can do two things at one time: eat and swim.
Three things!
[MUSIC FADES]
Fry, it's been three days. You can't keep boogying like this.
You'll come down with a fever of some sort.
I'm Dr. Ben Beeler, the paleontologist who discovered your dog.
Or as some call it, the Beelersaurus.
So do I get Seymour back? Are you caving to political pressure?
No. We're sorry, but there's just too much. . .
. . .that fossil can teach us about dogs from your time.
His name was Seymour.
He was once intimate with the leg of a wandering saxophonist.
He had wet dog smell, even when dry.
And he was not above chasing the number 29 bus.
The 29? lnteresting.
-That's all I needed, right? -I'm good.
Okay, then. Here's your dog back.
Seymour!
Lady and gentleman. . .
. . .how about a hand for my temporary replacement assistant?
I was all in this part! It's magic!
You're not fit to wear Fry's leotard!
ZOIDBERG: Stop!
-Good news, everyone! -Hurray, he's back!
And he's looking for a garbage can to put the rock in. Here you go, buddy.
No. Actually, we've discovered that Fry's dog was fast-fossilized. . .
. . .preserving its cellular structure.
Which means we can clone it! Seymour will live again!
A little land mammal.
Can you believe it, Bender? I'm gonna have my best friend back!
[SOBBING]
Why the idiot convention?
Cubert, my precious babe.
I'm going to attempt to clone Fry's dog. . .
. . .using the very same apparatus I used to clone you.
Look! There's a smidge of toe still in here.
You see, beneath the fossil's crunchy mineral shell. . .
. . .there's still a creamy core of dog nougat.
So will Seymour remember how to sing "Walking on Sunshine"?
Amazingly, yes.
In cases of rapid fossilization, I can press this brain scan button. . .
. . .retrieving Seymour's memories at the precise instant of doggy death.
I'm gonna get my puppy back! ln your face, Grim Reaper!
Crappy, ineffective reaper.
I just need to reset the Clone-O-Mat from human mode to dog mode.
COMPUTER: The dog says:
[MOOING]
Oh-oh. This may take a while.
[VIDEO GAME PLAYING]
You stink, loser!
Hey, Fry, pizza going out.
Come on!
But I'm celebrating New Year's Eve.
Like you got squat to celebrate.
You're a delivery boy this millennium. . .
. . .and you'll be a delivery boy next millennium.
[GROWLS AND WHIMPERS]
What's with Seymour? It's like he don't want you to go.
Or he thinks your pants is too short.
Which is crazy, because frankly, you look fabulous. Now get going!
[WHIMPERING]
I won't be gone long, Seymour. Just wait here till I come back.
[WHIMPERING]
Hello? Pizza delivery for. . .
. . . "I.C. Wiener"? Oh, crud.
Here's to another lousy millennium.
ALL: Five, four, three, two. . . .
[SCREAMS]
What the--?
A dog collar, for me? You shouldn't have.
-That's for Seymour. -Oh.
[SQUEAKING]
A subscription to the Daily Growl?
That's not a reputable journal of opinion.
That's for Seymour. I'm getting everything ready for when he's cloned.
Are you on the junk, Fry?
Why waste time on a creature of inferior intelligence?
-Hey, he was smart. He could fetch. -I can fetch!
-He could dig up bones. -Hello? Charlemagne?
Plus, I bet he couldn't create a laser show with his head.
[MUSIC PLAYS]
Look, Bender, this has nothing to do with you.
That's impossible!
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm working on Seymour's doghouse.
No one ever asked if Bender would like to live in a tiny little house.
Not that I would.
A tiny little house that says "Bender" on it.
BENDER: Ow!
FRY: This is Fry. If you're calling about the used towels for sale...
... they're still available for $45 each.
Phil, it's your father. Where are you?
You're holding up New Year's brunch.
Your brother can't wait any longer.
Hello, first bologna of the new millennium.
[BARKING]
Here he comes. That's him and Seymour.
[BARKING]
Well, that's weird. Seymour's here, but--
Go! Go! Touchdown! But where's Philip?
I'm telling you, the Y2K computers got him.
We'll face burning roads, rivers exploding. . .
. . .calculators transformed into Scud missiles.
There's nothing we can do.
[BARKS "WALKING ON SUNSHINE"]
What's that, Seymour? You walking on sunshine?
[WHIMPERING]
He's trying to tell us something. Maybe he can lead us to Philip!
-Should we follow him? -To our deaths? Negatory.
It's the Y2K trying to lure us into an ambush.
And I ain't buying it. Pass the bologna.
Are you gonna be done soon?
Sorry, but we need to practice hand-to-hand combat. . .
. . .in case an enemy knocks the laser guns out of our hands. . .
. . .and they slide way across the room.
Could you do it someplace else? I'm setting up Seymour's dog bed.
-Okay. -Ow!
[BENDER WHISTLING]
Heel, boy! Heel!
Oh, hello, Fry. I guess I didn't notice you there.
I'm having such fun with my new best friend, Robo-Puppy.
That's nice.
I was just out walking him. Yes, you can walk him.
Of course, after he goes, you have to refill the canisters.
Come here, boy! Pet, pet, pet.
ROBO-PUPPY: Robo-Puppy receiving petting.
Bender, are you jealous of Fry's puppy?
That's so adorable!
Jealous? Not when I have the love of Robo-Puppy here.
Robo-Puppy, lick my cheek.
Robo-Puppy preparing to lick cheek.
Robo-Puppy commencing cheek licking.
Licking in progress. Licking complete.
Robo-Puppy truly is robot's best friend.
There. Perfect.
[MUSIC PLAYS]
Good news, everyone! The Clone-O-Mat is ready!
[CHEERING]
Finally!
Robo-Puppy commencing two-hour yipping session.
[YIPPING]
Robo-Puppy mistreatment alert! Robo-Puppy mistreatment alert!
Behold once more, the mighty Clone-O-Mat!
Requiring such vast amounts of electricity. . .
. . .that we must harness the elemental power of nature itself!
ALL: Wow.
I speak, of course, of molten lava deep within the Earth's core.
To the subbasement!
[GRUNTING]
[SCREAMING]
Powering up Clone-O-Mat!
Placing fossil on the Plat-Clone-O-Form.
Initiating dog brain CAT scan!
Come on, boy. Come back to life.
Know ye now what feels like to be dog god!
Commencing DNA extraction.
Fry, come on! The talent show.
What? I'm in the middle of something.
But if we don't perform, in what sense do we have an act?
Bender, enough. Leave me alone!
So that's how it is? I thought you were my friend.
But if you love your dog so much, maybe you'd rather play fetch!
No!
[SCREAMS]
[LAUGHING]
Now I'm all you got!
I hate you! I hate you!
You evil, metal man! Ow!
So anyway, your dog is melted. Now we're friends again.
Not necessarily. For the dog may yet survive.
May yet? Really?
Indeed. You see, that fossil was made of dolomite. . .
. . .the tough, black mineral that won't cop out when there's heat all about.
By contrast, observe the lava's affect on this ice swan.
Of course, that would've melted even at room temperature.
I just wanted to get rid of it.
But had it been made of that righteous mineral dolomite. . .
. . .there's a slim chance it might have survived.
So Seymour might still exist?
Perhaps, for a few minutes. It's dolomite, baby!
Then I'm going in after him!
ALL: No! -He'd come after me!
[DOOR SQUEAKS]
Acting like a moron won't bring your dog back.
Then all hope is lost!
Goodbye, Seymour.
[SOBBING]
Please stop crying, Fry.
Here.
I assumed you were just pretending to love the dog. . .
. . .to toy with my emotions.
-What have I done? -You didn't do anything.
Don't beat yourself up.
Fry, I'm sorry.
I should have understood how someone can love an inferior creature. . .
. . .because I love you.
Not in the way of the ancient Greeks, but the way a robot loves a human. . .
. . .a human loves a dog, and occasionally, a gorilla loves a kitty.
I'm going in!
I'm a professor! Why isn't anyone listening to me?
You can't go in because you'll melt!
The fossil only has a chance because it's made of dolomite.
I'm 40 percent dolomite!
BENDER: Oh, it's hot. Oh, it's very hot!
[BARKING]
I am one hung-over cryogenicist.
Throw that mutt in the freezer till his owners come.
You can't solve all your problems by freezing them.
I think you're forgetting our motto.
Are you the cryogenicist who called about our son's dog?
You must be the Frys. Yeah, he's right over there.
Sorry we're late. We all got sick from eating bad bologna.
Y2K.
What's he so worked up about?
He's just upset because our boy's missing.
Come on, you overgrown rat! Lead us to Philip.
[WHIMPERING]
Bender's been down there too long!
-I'm going in after him! -Professor! Lava! Hot!
This is all my fault.
I let my best friend risk his life just to get my dead dog back.
-Bender! -And that is why they call me. . .
. . .Bender the Magnificent!
Hey, where'd everybody go?
Okay, let's clone us some dog.
-Yeah! -Very well.
Let this abomination unto the Lord begin!
Interesting. It seems Seymour died at the ripe old age of 1 5.
Fifteen? You mean he lived for 1 2 more years after I got frozen?
Indeed.
Stop the cloning.
Oh, sure. Smash the smart guy's machine.
-Fry, what's wrong? -Think about it.
Seymour lived a full life after I was gone.
He probably even added new songs to his repertoire.
But that's a good thing. "Walking on Sunshine" sucks noodles.
I had Seymour till he was 3.
That's when I knew him and that's when I loved him.
I'll never forget him.
But he forgot me a long, long time ago.
["I WILL WAIT FOR YOU" PLAYS]
MAN: Ow!
Face 2004
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Friends - 3x11 - The One Where Chandler Cant Remember
Friends - 3x12 - The One With All the Jealousy
Friends - 3x13 - The One Where Monica and Richard
Friends - 3x14 - The One With Phoebes Ex-Partner
Friends - 3x15 - The One Where Ross and Rachel Take
Friends - 3x16 - The One the Morning After
Friends - 3x17 - The One Without the Ski Trip
Friends - 3x18 - The One With the Hypnosis Tape
Friends - 3x19 - The One With the Tiny T-Shirt
Friends - 3x20 - The One With the Dollhouse
Friends - 3x21 - The One With a Chick and a Duck
Friends - 3x22 - The One With the Screamer
Friends - 3x23 - The One With Rosss Thing
Friends - 3x24 - The One With Ultimate Fighting Champ
Friends - 3x25 - The One at the Beach
Friends - 4x01 - The One With the Jellyfish
Friends - 4x02 - The One With the Cat
Friends - 4x03 - The One With the Cuffs
Friends - 4x04 - The One With the Ballroom Dancing
Friends - 4x05 - The One With Joeys New Girlfriend
Friends - 4x06 - The One With the Dirty Girl
Friends - 4x07 - The One Where Chandler Crosses
Friends - 4x08 - The One With Chandler in a Box
Friends - 4x09 - The One Where They are Going
Friends - 4x10 - The One With the Girl from
Friends - 4x11 - The One With Phoebes Uterus
Friends - 4x12 - The One With the Embryos
Friends - 4x13 - The One With Rachels Crush
Friends - 4x14 - The One With Joeys Dirty Day
Friends - 4x15 - The One With All the Rugby
Friends - 4x16 - The One With the Fake Party
Friends - 4x17 - The One With the Free Porn
Friends - 4x18 - The One With Rachels New Dress
Friends - 4x19 - The One With All the Haste
Friends - 4x20 - The One With All the Wedding Dresses
Friends - 4x21 - The One With the Invitation
Friends - 4x22 - The One With the Worst Best Man Ever
Friends - 4x23 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 1
Friends - 4x24 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 2
Friends - 5x01 - The One After Ross Says Rachel
Friends - 5x02 - The One With All the Kissing
Friends - 5x03 - The One Hundreth
Friends - 5x04 - The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS
Friends - 5x05 - The One With the Kips
Friends - 5x06 - The One With the Yeti
Friends - 5x07 - The One Where Ross Moves In
Friends - 5x08 - The One With All the Thanksgivins
Friends - 5x09 - The One With Rosss Sandwich
Friends - 5x10 - The One With the Inappropiate Sister
Friends - 5x11 - The One With All the Resolutions
Friends - 5x12 - The One With Chandlers Work Laugh
Friends - 5x13 - The One With Joeys Bag
Friends - 5x14 - The One Where Everyone Finds Out
Friends - 5x15 - The One With the Girl Who Hits Joey
Friends - 5x16 - The One With the Cop
Friends - 5x17 - The One With Rachels
Friends - 5x18 - The One Where Rachel Smokes
Friends - 5x19 - The One Where Ross Cant Flirt
Friends - 5x20 - The One With the Ride-Along
Friends - 5x21 - The One With the Ball
Friends - 5x22 - The One With Joeys Big Break
Friends - 5x23 - The One in Vegas
Friends - 6x01 - The One After Vegas
Friends - 6x02 - The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel
Friends - 6x03 - The One With Rosss Denial
Friends - 6x04 - The One Where Joey Loses His
Friends - 6x05 - The One With Joeys Porsche
Friends - 6x06 - The One On the Last Night
Friends - 6x07 - The One Where Phoebe Runs
Friends - 6x08 - The One With Rosss Teeth
Friends - 6x15
Friends 7x01 - The One with Monicas Thunder
Friends 7x02 - The One With Rachels Book
Friends 7x03 - The One With Phoebes Cookies
Friends 7x04 - The One With Rachels Assistant
Friends 7x05 - The One With The Engagement Picture
Friends 7x06 - The One With The Nap Partners
Friends 7x07 - The One with Rosss Library Book
Friends 7x08 - The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs
Friends 7x09 - The One With All the Candy
Friends 7x10 - The One With The Holiday Armadillo
Friends 7x11 - The One With All The Cheesecakes
Friends 7x12 - The One Where They are Up All Night
Friends 7x13 - The One Where Rosita Dies
Friends 7x14 - The One Where They All Turn Thirty
Friends 7x15 - The One With Joeys New Brain
Friends 7x16 - The One With the Truth About London
Friends 7x17 - The One With the Cheap Wedding Dress
Friends 7x18 - The One With Joeys Award
Friends 7x19 - The One With Ross and Monicas Cousin
Friends 7x20 - The One With Rachels Kisses
Friends 7x21 - The One With the Vows
Friends 7x22 - The One With Chandlers Dad
Friends 7x23 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 1
Friends 7x24 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 2
Friends 9x01 - The One Where No One Proposes
Friends 9x02 - The One Where Emma Cries
Friends 9x03 - The One With The Pediatrician
Friends 9x04 - The One With The Sharks
Friends 9x05 - The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner
Friends 9x06 - The One With The Male Nanny
Friends 9x07 - The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song
Friends 9x08 - The One With Rachels Other Sister
Friends 9x09 - The One With Rachels Phone Number
Friends 9x10 - The One With Christmas In Tulsa
Friends 9x11 - The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work
Friends 9x12 - The One With Phoebes Rats
Friends 9x13 - The One Where Monica Sings
Friends 9x14 - The One With The Blind Dates
Friends 9x15 - The One With The Mugging
Friends 9x16 - The One With The Boob Job
Friends 9x17 - The One With The Memorial Service
Friends 9x18 - The One With The Lottery
Friends 9x19 - The One With Rachels Dream
Friends 9x20 - The One With The Soap Opera Party
Friends 9x21 - The One With The Fertility Test
Friends 9x22 - The One With The Donor
Friends 9x23-24 - The One In Barbados 1 2)
Frisson des vampires Le
From Beijing with love
From Dusk Till Dawn
From Dusk Till Dawn 3 The Hangmans Daughter
From Hell
From Justin To Kelly (Special Edition)
Frontera La
Frusta e il corpo La
Fucking Amal
Fudoh The New Generation 1996
Fugitive The - The Chase Continues
Fugitives (2000)
Fukssvansen (Chop Chop)
Full Frontal 2002
Full Metal Jacket
Full Time Killer
Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD1
Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD2
Fun in Acapulco (Richard Thorpe 1963)
Funeral Parade of Roses
Funeral in Berlin
Funny Girl
Fuochi dArtifizio
Furia (2002)
Fury The (1978)
Futurama 1x01 - Space Pilot 3000
Futurama 1x02 - The Series Has Landed
Futurama 1x03 - I Roommate
Futurama 1x04 - Loves Labors Lost in Space
Futurama 1x05 - Fear of a Bot Planet
Futurama 1x06 - A Fishful of Dollars
Futurama 1x07 - My Three Suns
Futurama 1x08 - A Big Piece of Garbage
Futurama 1x09 - Hell is Other Robots
Futurama 2x01 - A Flight to Remember
Futurama 2x02 - Mars University
Futurama 2x03 - When Aliens Attack
Futurama 2x04 - Fry and the Slurm Factory
Futurama 3x01 - Amazon Women in the Mood
Futurama 3x02 - Parasites Lost
Futurama 3x03 - A Tale of Two Santas
Futurama 3x04 - The Luck of the Fryrish
Futurama 3x05 - The Birdbot of Ice-catraz
Futurama 3x06 - Bendless Love
Futurama 3x07 - The Day the Earth Stood Stupid
Futurama 3x08 - Thats Lobstertainment
Futurama 3x09 - The Cyber House Rules
Futurama 3x10 - Insane in the Mainframe
Futurama 3x10 - Where The Buggalo Roam
Futurama 3x12 - The Route of All Evil
Futurama 3x13 - Bendin in the Wind
Futurama 3x14 - Time Keeps on Slippin
Futurama 3x15 - I Dated a Robot
Futurama 3x16 - A Leela of Her Own
Futurama 3x17 - A Pharaoh To Remember
Futurama 3x18 - Anthology of Interest Part 2
Futurama 3x19 - Roswell That Ends Well
Futurama 3x20 - Godfellas
Futurama 3x21 - Future Stock
Futurama 3x22 - The 30 Iron Chef
Futurama 4x01 - Kif Gets Knocked Up a Notch
Futurama 4x02 - Leelas Homeworld
Futurama 4x03 - Love and Rocket
Futurama 4x04 - Less Than Hero
Futurama 4x05 - A Taste of Freedom
Futurama 4x06 - Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV
Futurama 4x07 - Jurassic Bark
Futurama 4x08 - Crimes of the Hot
Futurama 4x09 - Teenage Mutant Leelas Hurdles
Futurama 4x10 - The Why of Fry
Futurama 4x11 - Where no Fan Has Gone Before
Futurama 4x12 - The Sting
Futurama 4x13 - Bend Her
Futurama 4x14 - Obsoletely Fabulous
Futurama 4x15 - The Farnsworth Parabox
Futurama 4x16 - Three Hundred Big Boys
Futurama 4x17 - Spanish Fry
Futurama 4x18 - The Devils Hands are Idle Playthings
Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD1
Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD2