Futurama 4x07 - Jurassic Bark
Jurassic Bark
For my next trick,
notice I have nothing up my sleeves. . .
. . .and nothing in my head.
So if my lovely assistant
will kindly supply me. . .
. . .with an ordinary,
non-fake pitcher of milk.
Behold! The milk has vanished!
Exiled, perhaps, to another dimension!
Amazing! That's why they call you
Bender the Magnificent.
No, it isn't.
They discovered an intact 20th-century
pizzeria, like the one I used to work at!
Interesting. No, wait, the other thing.
Tedious.
Let's check it out. You can see
how I lived before I met you.
-You lived before you met me?
-Sure. Lots of people did.
Really.
Truly, they were as gods
who built this place.
Next, we come to the splendidly
preserved wooden pizza paddle.
Scientists theorize it was used
to gently discipline the delivery boy.
FRY:
Wait a second. This is Panucci's!
I used to work
in this exact pizzeria.
And for your information, lady, this
was not just used to paddle my butt.
It was also used to move pizzas
and crush rats.
I don't know where you get
your facts, sir. . .
. . .but I am a volunteer housewife
with 45 minutes of orientation. . .
. . .and a Harlequin romance
about archeologists.
Don't wave your fancy degrees at me.
I recognize all this stuff.
Petrified sausages, old Mr. Vitelli,
and that's--
[SCREAMS]
MAN: Yes?
-Pizza delivery for Mr. Seymour Asses?
MAN: There's no one by that name
here or anywhere.
I hope that in time you'll realize
what an idiot you've been.
I wouldn't count on that.
[WHIMPERING]
Poor little guy. You look like
you haven't eaten in a month.
Here. But if Mr. Panucci asks,
your name is Seymour Asses.
I like you, Seymour.
You're not constantly judging me,
like all the other dogs.
Are you?
We understand each other.
People think you're just
a mutt who smells bad. . .
. . .can't find a girlfriend
and has a crummy job.
But you're keeping it real
and you call no man "Mister. "
Well, goodbye.
Live long and prosper.
[WHIMPERS]
[BARKING]
That's the least appetizing calzone
I've ever seen.
No! That's my dog in there!
It's an outrage, I say.
BENDER:
Ow! Ow!
I'm taking him home and I'd like
to see anyone try and stop me.
Ow! Oh! Ow! Oh! Ah!
And then he was ejected
by the guards.
Needless to say, I was mortified.
Well, it's not right
to make my dead pet an exhibit.
That's like digging up Lassie
and putting her in the Louvre.
Lassie is on display in the Louvre.
I know. I was deliberately describing
a similar situation.
Why don't you try protesting,
like those native Martians.
Always whining that people don't treat
their ancestors' bones with respect.
[SLURPING]
Protesting never works.
You're right. I'll give it a shot!
ALL: What do you want?
-Fry's dog!
-When do you want it?
-Fry's dog!
Yeah!
I will now perform
my people's native dance.
["THE HUSTLE" PLAYS]
It says here that this part
of The Hustle. . .
. . .implores the gods to grant a favor,
usually a Trans Am.
[SINGS "WALKING ON SUNSHINE"]
[BARKING "WALKING ON SUNSHINE"]
[SINGING]
Thattaboy, Seymour.
Right here waiting for me as always.
Just like that huge mushroom
in my shower.
Hey, there's our little mascot.
You been swimming in the sewer again?
You rascal.
-Fry, cleanup!
-Seymour, cleanup!
-Good dog.
-That's a good Seymour.
There's dog fur on my slice!
No, that's vermicelli.
No fur in here.
[BARKING]
FRY:
He's so cute.
He can do two things
at one time: eat and swim.
Three things!
[MUSIC FADES]
Fry, it's been three days.
You can't keep boogying like this.
You'll come down with a fever
of some sort.
I'm Dr. Ben Beeler, the paleontologist
who discovered your dog.
Or as some call it,
the Beelersaurus.
So do I get Seymour back?
Are you caving to political pressure?
No. We're sorry,
but there's just too much. . .
. . .that fossil can teach us
about dogs from your time.
His name was Seymour.
He was once intimate with the leg
of a wandering saxophonist.
He had wet dog smell, even when dry.
And he was not above chasing
the number 29 bus.
The 29? lnteresting.
-That's all I needed, right?
-I'm good.
Okay, then. Here's your dog back.
Seymour!
Lady and gentleman. . .
. . .how about a hand for my
temporary replacement assistant?
I was all in this part! It's magic!
You're not fit to wear Fry's leotard!
ZOIDBERG:
Stop!
-Good news, everyone!
-Hurray, he's back!
And he's looking for a garbage can
to put the rock in. Here you go, buddy.
No. Actually, we've discovered
that Fry's dog was fast-fossilized. . .
. . .preserving its cellular structure.
Which means we can clone it!
Seymour will live again!
A little land mammal.
Can you believe it, Bender?
I'm gonna have my best friend back!
[SOBBING]
Why the idiot convention?
Cubert, my precious babe.
I'm going to attempt
to clone Fry's dog. . .
. . .using the very same apparatus
I used to clone you.
Look! There's a smidge
of toe still in here.
You see, beneath the fossil's
crunchy mineral shell. . .
. . .there's still a creamy core
of dog nougat.
So will Seymour remember how to sing
"Walking on Sunshine"?
Amazingly, yes.
In cases of rapid fossilization,
I can press this brain scan button. . .
. . .retrieving Seymour's memories
at the precise instant of doggy death.
I'm gonna get my puppy back!
ln your face, Grim Reaper!
Crappy, ineffective reaper.
I just need to reset the Clone-O-Mat
from human mode to dog mode.
COMPUTER:
The dog says:
[MOOING]
Oh-oh. This may take a while.
[VIDEO GAME PLAYING]
You stink, loser!
Hey, Fry, pizza going out.
Come on!
But I'm celebrating New Year's Eve.
Like you got squat to celebrate.
You're a delivery boy
this millennium. . .
. . .and you'll be a delivery boy
next millennium.
[GROWLS AND WHIMPERS]
What's with Seymour?
It's like he don't want you to go.
Or he thinks your pants is too short.
Which is crazy, because frankly,
you look fabulous. Now get going!
[WHIMPERING]
I won't be gone long, Seymour.
Just wait here till I come back.
[WHIMPERING]
Hello? Pizza delivery for. . .
. . . "I.C. Wiener"? Oh, crud.
Here's to another lousy millennium.
ALL:
Five, four, three, two. . . .
[SCREAMS]
What the--?
A dog collar, for me?
You shouldn't have.
-That's for Seymour.
-Oh.
[SQUEAKING]
A subscription to the Daily Growl?
That's not a reputable journal
of opinion.
That's for Seymour. I'm getting
everything ready for when he's cloned.
Are you on the junk, Fry?
Why waste time on a creature
of inferior intelligence?
-Hey, he was smart. He could fetch.
-I can fetch!
-He could dig up bones.
-Hello? Charlemagne?
Plus, I bet he couldn't create
a laser show with his head.
[MUSIC PLAYS]
Look, Bender,
this has nothing to do with you.
That's impossible!
Now if you'll excuse me,
I'm working on Seymour's doghouse.
No one ever asked if Bender
would like to live in a tiny little house.
Not that I would.
A tiny little house
that says "Bender" on it.
BENDER:
Ow!
FRY: This is Fry. If you're calling
about the used towels for sale...
... they're still available
for $45 each.
Phil, it's your father.
Where are you?
You're holding up New Year's brunch.
Your brother can't wait any longer.
Hello, first bologna
of the new millennium.
[BARKING]
Here he comes.
That's him and Seymour.
[BARKING]
Well, that's weird.
Seymour's here, but--
Go! Go! Touchdown!
But where's Philip?
I'm telling you,
the Y2K computers got him.
We'll face burning roads,
rivers exploding. . .
. . .calculators transformed
into Scud missiles.
There's nothing we can do.
[BARKS "WALKING ON SUNSHINE"]
What's that, Seymour?
You walking on sunshine?
[WHIMPERING]
He's trying to tell us something.
Maybe he can lead us to Philip!
-Should we follow him?
-To our deaths? Negatory.
It's the Y2K trying to lure us
into an ambush.
And I ain't buying it.
Pass the bologna.
Are you gonna be done soon?
Sorry, but we need to practice
hand-to-hand combat. . .
. . .in case an enemy knocks
the laser guns out of our hands. . .
. . .and they slide way
across the room.
Could you do it someplace else?
I'm setting up Seymour's dog bed.
-Okay.
-Ow!
[BENDER WHISTLING]
Heel, boy! Heel!
Oh, hello, Fry.
I guess I didn't notice you there.
I'm having such fun
with my new best friend, Robo-Puppy.
That's nice.
I was just out walking him.
Yes, you can walk him.
Of course, after he goes,
you have to refill the canisters.
Come here, boy! Pet, pet, pet.
ROBO-PUPPY:
Robo-Puppy receiving petting.
Bender, are you jealous
of Fry's puppy?
That's so adorable!
Jealous? Not when I have the love
of Robo-Puppy here.
Robo-Puppy, lick my cheek.
Robo-Puppy preparing to lick cheek.
Robo-Puppy commencing cheek licking.
Licking in progress.
Licking complete.
Robo-Puppy truly is robot's best friend.
There. Perfect.
[MUSIC PLAYS]
Good news, everyone!
The Clone-O-Mat is ready!
[CHEERING]
Finally!
Robo-Puppy commencing
two-hour yipping session.
[YIPPING]
Robo-Puppy mistreatment alert!
Robo-Puppy mistreatment alert!
Behold once more,
the mighty Clone-O-Mat!
Requiring such vast amounts
of electricity. . .
. . .that we must harness
the elemental power of nature itself!
ALL:
Wow.
I speak, of course, of molten lava
deep within the Earth's core.
To the subbasement!
[GRUNTING]
[SCREAMING]
Powering up Clone-O-Mat!
Placing fossil
on the Plat-Clone-O-Form.
Initiating dog brain CAT scan!
Come on, boy. Come back to life.
Know ye now what feels like
to be dog god!
Commencing DNA extraction.
Fry, come on!
The talent show.
What? I'm in the middle of something.
But if we don't perform,
in what sense do we have an act?
Bender, enough.
Leave me alone!
So that's how it is?
I thought you were my friend.
But if you love your dog so much,
maybe you'd rather play fetch!
No!
[SCREAMS]
[LAUGHING]
Now I'm all you got!
I hate you! I hate you!
You evil, metal man! Ow!
So anyway, your dog is melted.
Now we're friends again.
Not necessarily.
For the dog may yet survive.
May yet? Really?
Indeed. You see,
that fossil was made of dolomite. . .
. . .the tough, black mineral that won't
cop out when there's heat all about.
By contrast, observe
the lava's affect on this ice swan.
Of course, that would've melted
even at room temperature.
I just wanted to get rid of it.
But had it been made
of that righteous mineral dolomite. . .
. . .there's a slim chance
it might have survived.
So Seymour might still exist?
Perhaps, for a few minutes.
It's dolomite, baby!
Then I'm going in after him!
ALL: No!
-He'd come after me!
[DOOR SQUEAKS]
Acting like a moron
won't bring your dog back.
Then all hope is lost!
Goodbye, Seymour.
[SOBBING]
Please stop crying, Fry.
Here.
I assumed you were just pretending
to love the dog. . .
. . .to toy with my emotions.
-What have I done?
-You didn't do anything.
Don't beat yourself up.
Fry, I'm sorry.
I should have understood how someone
can love an inferior creature. . .
. . .because I love you.
Not in the way of the ancient Greeks,
but the way a robot loves a human. . .
. . .a human loves a dog,
and occasionally, a gorilla loves a kitty.
I'm going in!
I'm a professor!
Why isn't anyone listening to me?
You can't go in because you'll melt!
The fossil only has a chance
because it's made of dolomite.
I'm 40 percent dolomite!
BENDER:
Oh, it's hot. Oh, it's very hot!
[BARKING]
I am one hung-over cryogenicist.
Throw that mutt in the freezer
till his owners come.
You can't solve all your problems
by freezing them.
I think you're forgetting our motto.
Are you the cryogenicist
who called about our son's dog?
You must be the Frys.
Yeah, he's right over there.
Sorry we're late.
We all got sick from eating bad bologna.
Y2K.
What's he so worked up about?
He's just upset
because our boy's missing.
Come on, you overgrown rat!
Lead us to Philip.
[WHIMPERING]
Bender's been down there too long!
-I'm going in after him!
-Professor! Lava! Hot!
This is all my fault.
I let my best friend risk his life
just to get my dead dog back.
-Bender!
-And that is why they call me. . .
. . .Bender the Magnificent!
Hey, where'd everybody go?
Okay, let's clone us some dog.
-Yeah!
-Very well.
Let this abomination
unto the Lord begin!
Interesting. It seems Seymour died
at the ripe old age of 1 5.
Fifteen? You mean he lived
for 1 2 more years after I got frozen?
Indeed.
Stop the cloning.
Oh, sure.
Smash the smart guy's machine.
-Fry, what's wrong?
-Think about it.
Seymour lived a full life
after I was gone.
He probably even added new songs
to his repertoire.
But that's a good thing.
"Walking on Sunshine" sucks noodles.
I had Seymour till he was 3.
That's when I knew him
and that's when I loved him.
I'll never forget him.
But he forgot me a long,
long time ago.
["I WILL WAIT FOR YOU" PLAYS]
MAN:
Ow! |
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4x05 - The One With Joeys New Girlfriend Friends - 4x06 - The One With the Dirty Girl Friends - 4x07 - The One Where Chandler Crosses Friends - 4x08 - The One With Chandler in a Box Friends - 4x09 - The One Where They are Going Friends - 4x10 - The One With the Girl from Friends - 4x11 - The One With Phoebes Uterus Friends - 4x12 - The One With the Embryos Friends - 4x13 - The One With Rachels Crush Friends - 4x14 - The One With Joeys Dirty Day Friends - 4x15 - The One With All the Rugby Friends - 4x16 - The One With the Fake Party Friends - 4x17 - The One With the Free Porn Friends - 4x18 - The One With Rachels New Dress Friends - 4x19 - The One With All the Haste Friends - 4x20 - The One With All the Wedding Dresses Friends - 4x21 - The One With the Invitation Friends - 4x22 - The One With the Worst Best Man Ever Friends - 4x23 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 1 Friends - 4x24 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 2 Friends - 5x01 - The One After Ross Says Rachel Friends - 5x02 - The One With All the Kissing Friends - 5x03 - The One Hundreth Friends - 5x04 - The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS Friends - 5x05 - The One With the Kips Friends - 5x06 - The One With the Yeti Friends - 5x07 - The One Where Ross Moves In Friends - 5x08 - The One With All the Thanksgivins Friends - 5x09 - The One With Rosss Sandwich Friends - 5x10 - The One With the Inappropiate Sister Friends - 5x11 - The One With All the Resolutions Friends - 5x12 - The One With Chandlers Work Laugh Friends - 5x13 - The One With Joeys Bag Friends - 5x14 - The One Where Everyone Finds Out Friends - 5x15 - The One With the Girl Who Hits Joey Friends - 5x16 - The One With the Cop Friends - 5x17 - The One With Rachels Friends - 5x18 - The One Where Rachel Smokes Friends - 5x19 - The One Where Ross Cant Flirt Friends - 5x20 - The One With the Ride-Along Friends - 5x21 - The One With the Ball Friends - 5x22 - The One With Joeys Big Break Friends - 5x23 - The One in Vegas Friends - 6x01 - The One After Vegas Friends - 6x02 - The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel Friends - 6x03 - The One With Rosss Denial Friends - 6x04 - The One Where Joey Loses His Friends - 6x05 - The One With Joeys Porsche Friends - 6x06 - The One On the Last Night Friends - 6x07 - The One Where Phoebe Runs Friends - 6x08 - The One With Rosss Teeth Friends - 6x15 Friends 7x01 - The One with Monicas Thunder Friends 7x02 - The One With Rachels Book Friends 7x03 - The One With Phoebes Cookies Friends 7x04 - The One With Rachels Assistant Friends 7x05 - The One With The Engagement Picture Friends 7x06 - The One With The Nap Partners Friends 7x07 - The One with Rosss Library Book Friends 7x08 - The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs Friends 7x09 - The One With All the Candy Friends 7x10 - The One With The Holiday Armadillo Friends 7x11 - The One With All The Cheesecakes Friends 7x12 - The One Where They are Up All Night Friends 7x13 - The One Where Rosita Dies Friends 7x14 - The One Where They All Turn Thirty Friends 7x15 - The One With Joeys New Brain Friends 7x16 - The One With the Truth About London Friends 7x17 - The One With the Cheap Wedding Dress Friends 7x18 - The One With Joeys Award Friends 7x19 - The One With Ross and Monicas Cousin Friends 7x20 - The One With Rachels Kisses Friends 7x21 - The One With the Vows Friends 7x22 - The One With Chandlers Dad Friends 7x23 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 1 Friends 7x24 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 2 Friends 9x01 - The One Where No One Proposes Friends 9x02 - The One Where Emma Cries Friends 9x03 - The One With The Pediatrician Friends 9x04 - The One With The Sharks Friends 9x05 - The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner Friends 9x06 - The One With The Male Nanny Friends 9x07 - The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song Friends 9x08 - The One With Rachels Other Sister Friends 9x09 - The One With Rachels Phone Number Friends 9x10 - The One With Christmas In Tulsa Friends 9x11 - The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work Friends 9x12 - The One With Phoebes Rats Friends 9x13 - The One Where Monica Sings Friends 9x14 - The One With The Blind Dates Friends 9x15 - The One With The Mugging Friends 9x16 - The One With The Boob Job Friends 9x17 - The One With The Memorial Service Friends 9x18 - The One With The Lottery Friends 9x19 - The One With Rachels Dream Friends 9x20 - The One With The Soap Opera Party Friends 9x21 - The One With The Fertility Test Friends 9x22 - The One With The Donor Friends 9x23-24 - The One In Barbados 1 2) Frisson des vampires Le From Beijing with love From Dusk Till Dawn From Dusk Till Dawn 3 The Hangmans Daughter From Hell From Justin To Kelly (Special Edition) Frontera La Frusta e il corpo La Fucking Amal Fudoh The New Generation 1996 Fugitive The - The Chase Continues Fugitives (2000) Fukssvansen (Chop Chop) Full Frontal 2002 Full Metal Jacket Full Time Killer Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD1 Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD2 Fun in Acapulco (Richard Thorpe 1963) Funeral Parade of Roses Funeral in Berlin Funny Girl Fuochi dArtifizio Furia (2002) Fury The (1978) Futurama 1x01 - Space Pilot 3000 Futurama 1x02 - The Series Has Landed Futurama 1x03 - I Roommate Futurama 1x04 - Loves Labors Lost in Space Futurama 1x05 - Fear of a Bot Planet Futurama 1x06 - A Fishful of Dollars Futurama 1x07 - My Three Suns Futurama 1x08 - A Big Piece of Garbage Futurama 1x09 - Hell is Other Robots Futurama 2x01 - A Flight to Remember Futurama 2x02 - Mars University Futurama 2x03 - When Aliens Attack Futurama 2x04 - Fry and the Slurm Factory Futurama 3x01 - Amazon Women in the Mood Futurama 3x02 - Parasites Lost Futurama 3x03 - A Tale of Two Santas Futurama 3x04 - The Luck of the Fryrish Futurama 3x05 - The Birdbot of Ice-catraz Futurama 3x06 - Bendless Love Futurama 3x07 - The Day the Earth Stood Stupid Futurama 3x08 - Thats Lobstertainment Futurama 3x09 - The Cyber House Rules Futurama 3x10 - Insane in the Mainframe Futurama 3x10 - Where The Buggalo Roam Futurama 3x12 - The Route of All Evil Futurama 3x13 - Bendin in the Wind Futurama 3x14 - Time Keeps on Slippin Futurama 3x15 - I Dated a Robot Futurama 3x16 - A Leela of Her Own Futurama 3x17 - A Pharaoh To Remember Futurama 3x18 - Anthology of Interest Part 2 Futurama 3x19 - Roswell That Ends Well Futurama 3x20 - Godfellas Futurama 3x21 - Future Stock Futurama 3x22 - The 30 Iron Chef Futurama 4x01 - Kif Gets Knocked Up a Notch Futurama 4x02 - Leelas Homeworld Futurama 4x03 - Love and Rocket Futurama 4x04 - Less Than Hero Futurama 4x05 - A Taste of Freedom Futurama 4x06 - Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV Futurama 4x07 - Jurassic Bark Futurama 4x08 - Crimes of the Hot Futurama 4x09 - Teenage Mutant Leelas Hurdles Futurama 4x10 - The Why of Fry Futurama 4x11 - Where no Fan Has Gone Before Futurama 4x12 - The Sting Futurama 4x13 - Bend Her Futurama 4x14 - Obsoletely Fabulous Futurama 4x15 - The Farnsworth Parabox Futurama 4x16 - Three Hundred Big Boys Futurama 4x17 - Spanish Fry Futurama 4x18 - The Devils Hands are Idle Playthings Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD1 Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD2
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