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Futurama 4x06 - Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV

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Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV
BENDER: Here we go, y'all! ZOIDBERG: Zoidberg, Zoidberg. Zoidberg.
BENDER: This is a story about all my friends.
FARNSWORTH: Goodbye. Goodbye.
ANNOUNCER: Previously on All My Circuits:
I'm sorry, Father. But somewhere along the way, I forgot how to be your son.
-Why, Antonio? -Because. . . . I have amnesia!
-Calculon! But I thought you were-- -Egyptian?
Before I kill you, I must ask you one question:
Who am l?
For I have. . . . Amnesia!
Let me get this straight. Does anyone here not have amnesia?
MONIQUE: Not sure. -I don't know.
This show is awesome! When I grow up, I'm gonna have so much amnesia.
Me too! I mean, I have it now. But I forgot.
-Well, mine's louder! -Cram a ham in it, you twerps!
-Sorry. -I had it coming.
Welcome, swingers! Pull up a groove and get fabulous!
Nude rock bands, big piles of what I assume is talcum powder.
It's quite a birthday party, Calculon.
Cool! I'm gonna have a fabulatious birthday party just like Calculon!
Oh, yeah? Well, I'm gonna show up looking good just like Monique.
Do you two have to imitate everything you see on TV?
We're 1 2. So, yes.
Hold up, Cubert. You're a clone of the professor.
Do clones even have birthdays?
Duh what?
Dad? Do I have a birthday?
Hmm. You didn't have a birth, so technically, no.
-Hmm. FARNSWORTH: Oh, don't feel bad.
We can celebrate the day I extracted you from the cloning tank.
Or the day I scraped your DNA from that growth on my back.
-That one! -Yes.
It was 1 3 years ago next week. I used this very fork.
Oh, well, isn't that--
Hey. Next week'll be my birthday too!
That's true! lf only there were a way to have one party for both of you. . .
. . .here at the office, then write it off as a business expense.
Wait! I thought of a way! The way I just said!
-Yeah! -Way to go, Pops!
BENDER: Something's happening on television!
Oh, Monique. Why did we wait so many years to bathe in champagne?
Father! I've discovered the shocking secret...
...Mother has kept from you for 200 years!
No! No!
Brace yourself, for when I speak these words...
... you may well suffer an attack of explosive amnesia!
For you see, the horrible secret is--
Whoever's directing this is a master of suspense!
He's busteds. Let's get hims out of heres.
ANNOUNCER: We nowjoin America 's most popular show in progress:
Everybody Loves Hypno-Toad!
This show's been going downhill since season three.
Look who's here, everyone! It's Zoidberg, the lovable tramp!
Since when are you performing at children's parties?
Performing? What? Please, if someone could spare me money to buy shoes?
-This party pukes. -Yeah!
The guests were supposed to be here three hours ago.
Well, that doesn't mean that no one is coming or that you two are total losers.
Who gave you that idea?
All right! They must've all come as a group!
Welcome, swingers! Pull up a groove and get fabulous!
Good day, fellows. Someone dumped this invitation in my begging cup.
Happy growth-scraping day to all!
--fire them all.
Guys. Guys. Something's happening on television again!
Welcome to Entertainment and Earth lnvasion Tonite.
Across the galaxy my people are completing a mighty space fleet...
... that will exterminate the human race! But first, this news from Tinsel Town.
Following Antonio Calculon Jr. 's breakdown on the set...
... the popular TV show All My Circuits will hold an open casting call...
...for child robots to replace him.
An open casting call for child robots?
Tinny Tim! Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
-What's that, sir? -That l, Bender, am perfect for the role!
You raised my hopes and dashed them quite expertly, sir. Bravo!
Bender, your swarthy Latin charm will only get you so far.
There's a lot of famous child acting units here.
Look, there's Macaulay Culkon!
He's just not cute since he got puberty installed.
There's that robot child actor who grew up and robbed the convenience store.
And there's that robot child actor who grew up. . .
. . .and became a convenience store.
Lottery ticket, please.
We're ready for the first audition. "Emote-atron Jr. "?
Hold on, precious. Let's make you look nice for the lady.
What's this? What did I tell you?
No. . .more. . .hanging. . .wires!
In this scene, you've just found out your real father. . .
. . .is Calculon's fourth evil identical septuplet, Sleazy Martinez.
Okay? Take us there!
Now that I know the truth, Father, I must ride south. . .
. . .and join the robo-bandidos at Veracruz!
BENDER: Boo! Boo! This kid sucks! We want Bender! Boo!
Well, I thought he was good, but the audience seems to have turned on him.
-But I don't think-- -Next!
--at Veracruz. So if you'll kindly hand me my poncho--
BENDER: Boo! Bring on Bender! Boo! Bender's the greatest!
Sorry, kid. You're flailing up there.
Ninety actors and they all got booed.
I just wish we could get this Bender I keep hearing about.
They say he's the greatest.
Well, there is a robot named Bender here, but he's much too old for--
Send him in forthwith!
Boo! Not as good as Bender! Boo!
Mr. Bender?
-Have you ever been on TV before? -Once, when I took those hostages.
I saw that. You were good. Let's hear you audition.
"Bandidos"? Oh, this is great.
Because I happen to have a flawless Spanish accent.
I will see. Adiós, Padre. Come, Jesus, my faithful chihuahua.
Tonight we eat guacamole by the EI Rio!
That was so terrible I think you gave me cancer!
I don't care how popular you are, you will never work on my show!
FRY: Yay, Bender! LEELA: We demand Bender!
However, you've got the job. Welcome aboard, son!
I'd like you to meet our director, whose name I never learned.
Yo. I read the script, and I think it would help my character's motivation. . .
-. . .if he was on fire. -Don't worry about the script, baby.
We rewrote your part to suit your acting abilities.
So now my character has a British accent?
No, now your character's in a coma. Get in bed and don't move.
And action!
Stupid dumb coma. I could've been British.
Alas that mine only son should sink into an irreversible, permanent. . .
. . .coma.
Permanent? That's completely out of character for Antonio. I'm getting up.
Curse the tragic wildebeest accident that--
Hey, everyone! Antonio here, but you can call me Bender!
I got ants in my butt and I needs to strut! Come on, baby!
Come on!
I'm not familiar with the type of thing I'm seeing.
Bite my shiny metal ass! Yeah!
Come on, baby, yeah. Come on, yeah!
Cut! That's the worst coma acting I've ever seen. We'll have to shoot it again.
No. No, no, no. I don't do two takes.
-But this guy was-- -Amateurs like you do two takes.
I do one take. Print it. I'll be in my three-story trailer.
Bite my shiny metal ass! Yeah! Come on, baby, yeah! Come on, yeah!
Now, that's hospital dancing! Pretty good, hey, Calcy?
Good? I've seen better acting from extras in Godzilla movies.
CALCULON: I didn't shoot this.
We didn't. That's security camera footage from your dressing room.
He stole the scene and my money? That's it!
I demand you fire this felonious ham!
-The network execu-bots are coming! -Oh, dear God!
Presenting the president of the network!
PRESIDENT: Greetings, gentlemen. You already know my execu-bots.
Executive Alpha, programmed to like things it has seen before.
-Hey, hey, hey. -Executive Beta.
Programmed to roll dice to determine the fall schedule.
More reality shows!
And Executive Gamma, programmed to underestimate Middle America.
It's funny, but is it going to get them off their tractors?
Now, who put this obnoxious dancing robot on my network?
-We were about to fire him, sir. -Silence, hack!
We've been monitoring our Nielsen families carefully.
And during the 12 seconds Bender was on-screen, viewer eyeball focus...
... was up 90 percent!
But, sir, children watch this show.
Bender's no role model. He's a filthmonger.
At our network, we love filth.
Filthy rich, that is. Being filthy rich, that is.
"Bite my shiny metal ass" could be a catchphrase.
-Eighty percent likely. -It will play in Peoria.
BETA: Game shows are back!
We need this edgy, sweeps-ready robot on our network!
Bender, can you continue to drink, smoke and steal things on TV?
Yes, I can.
TINY TIM-BOT: Yeah, shooting! DWIGHT: All right!
Yo. Check out what I jacked from my dad.
-A cigar?! -Ripping!
Look. I'm Bender!
Ras H. Tafari! What's going on here?
-The ruffians smoked one of your cigars. -That's not a cigar!
-And it's not mine. -Hey, Dad. Bite my shiny metal ass!
What? Such an act would be most uncomfortable for both of us!
-Where did you learn such language? -From Bender, my good jerkwad.
Bender? That guy's really starting to twist my dreads.
-Okay, okay! Get ready for this part! -Quiet, robot. Bender's on TV.
Oh, Calculon. It's so good to get away from the city...
...and that beastly yet intriguing Bender.
And try this, kids at home!
Is television sensation Bender a bad role model for Earth 's children?
That's crazy.
A new protest group, Fathers Against Rude Television, says "Hell, yes!"
What kind of bozos would start a Bender protest group?
Good news, everyone! Hermes and I have started a Bender protest group!
That was uncanny.
Fathers Against Rude Television don't want our kids watching Bender's. . .
-. . .high-definition filth! -And for what?
Some kind of cheap laugh? That's not what F.A.R.T. is all about.
No, sir! Not us F.A.R.T.ers!
You can't censor me just because I'm an obscenely bad role model.
As unclean as it makes me feel, I agree with Bender.
Kids don't turn rotten just from watching TV.
Yeah. Give a little credit to our public schools.
Our dads are all pumped up on dork-osterone.
-We're just trying to be cool, like Bender. -Yeah. And it's not even working.
-Smoking and drinking make us barf. -Gentle jerkwads. . .
. . .I know how to emulate Bender without barfing. We could commit a burglary.
-Hey, yeah! -Bender loves to burgle!
Hold up, though. Who could we rob? We don't know anyone with cool stuff.
Duh. We know someone who runs on pure cool fuel: Bender!
-Whoa! -We'll rob Bender!
TV gave us the idea!
BENDER: You're watching Futurama...
... the show that does not advocate the cool crime of robbery.
Okay. It's crime time.
Hey, Bender.
Hey, Bender.
Hey, Bender.
Hey, Bender.
-Oh! -What's going on in here?
Oh. Now I'm really outraged!
Where did you requisition this party? And Zoidberg, what are you doing here?
I'm networking. Let me give you my card.
Relax, Dad. We just invited a few friends over.
There's something wrong with your story, but I can't put my finger on it.
Of course! You don't have friends!
Yeah! Why do these popular kids consider you cool all of a sudden?
-We're just cool, is all. -Balderdash!
I'll be the judge of who's cool, using the Cool-o-meter!
COOL-O-METER: Oh, yeah!
Good Lord! I'm getting a reading of over 40 mega-Fonzies.
-Everybody out! ALL: Aw. . . .
So do you guys know about anything else going on?
Because I'm totally still ready to party.
There's enough cool stuff here to furnish a happening pad.
Where did it all come from?
Don't tell, comrades! All for one and one for all!
-We stole it! -Oh, crumb.
-What? What's going on? -I'll tell you what!
Our boys have taken up stealing. One of the worst and coolest of crimes.
And all from watching you on TV, you cool jerk!
Hey, lay off me!
TV would stink if everyone on it was a positive role model.
Bender is about entertainment, baby! You can't hold me responsible. . .
. . .for what kids do when-- Hey. This is my stuff they stole!
That's the last straw! Bender should not be allowed on television!
Bender must be stopped!
I've gone too far! Who does that guy think I am?
-Yeah! -That's right!
Come on! We're gonna march all the way to Hollywood. . .
. . .and make them stop forcing their filthy me down our throats!
CROWD: Yeah!
ALL: Down with Bender! Down with Bender!
Down with Bender! Down with Bender!
-This mob's with me. -Go ahead.
Down with Bender! Down with Bender!
Down with Bender! Down with--
--Bender! Down with Bender!
As a doctor and captain of this hospital ship. . .
. . .I now pronounce you man and wife with six months to live.
Listen up, Hollywood! We're an exciting new mob!
ALL: Yeah! HERMES: You better believe it.
Great Shatner's ghost!
We demand that all TVs be equipped with a B-Chip. . .
. . .that blocks Bender from appearing on the screen!
-Boo-ya! ALL: Yeah.
PRESIDENT: I'm afraid the answer is a gritty, in-your-face no.
-Then I quit! -Then you don 't quit.
I think you'll be finishing the scene now, Mr. Bender.
And don 't skimp on the nasty.
There'll be no further nasty!
We still have the option of resorting to violence!
-What makes you think that'll work? -I saw it on TV. . .
. . .in that episode where Bender shot Calculon. How cool was that?
Yeah! Come on!
-Quit the show! -Do the scene.
I'm a cold-blooded punk!
I once put a laugh track on a sitcom that had no jokes in it.
-Hey, look! The prop guy has a lamp! -Really?
-Aha! -I was using that!
Listen up, because I've got a climactic speech.
You, cameraman, keep the camera rolling!
-You, director! Give me my motivation! -You're angry.
Perfect! Viewers of the world, do smoking and drinking on TV. . .
. . .really make me cool? Of course they do!
How about committing crimes and violence? Again, the answer is yes.
But do we really want our kids exposed to that kind of trash on TV?
-I say absolutely not! -Oh!
On the other hand, most, perhaps all, the blame rests with the parents.
That's right, you!
And so I ask you this one question:
Have you ever tried simply turning off the TV. . .
. . .sitting down with your children. . .
. . .and hitting them?
-We're just so busy. -Well, make time.
And cut!
Good enough. Splice in some reaction shots of me and shove it on the air.
Have you ever tried simply turning off the TV...
...sitting down with your children...
...and hitting them?
Well, I'd say we all learned a valuable lesson about TV there.
What was it?
That we should all take TV a little less seriously.
And more importantly, turn it off once in a while.
-Hear, hear! -Darn right!
So should we turn it off now?
-Well. . . . That depends what's on. MAN: One now....
-Nothing good. -Let's just keep watching.
Face 2004
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Friends - 10x07 - TOW The Home Study
Friends - 10x08 - TOW the late Thanksgiving
Friends - 10x09 - TOW the birth mother
Friends - 10x10 - TOW Chandler Gets Caught
Friends - 10x11 - TOW The Stripper Cries
Friends - 10x12 - TOW Phoebes Wedding
Friends - 10x13 - TOW Joey Speaks French
Friends - 10x14 - TOW Princess Consuela
Friends - 3 22 - The One With the Screamer
Friends - 3x01 - The One With the Princess Leia Fantasy
Friends - 3x02 - The One Where No Ones Ready
Friends - 3x03 - The One With the Jam
Friends - 3x04 - The One With the Metaphorical Tunnel
Friends - 3x05 - The One With Frank Jr
Friends - 3x06 - The One With the Flashback
Friends - 3x07 - The One With the Race Car Bed
Friends - 3x08 - The One With the Giant Poking Device
Friends - 3x09 - The One With the Football
Friends - 3x10 - The One Where Rachel Quits
Friends - 3x11 - The One Where Chandler Cant Remember
Friends - 3x12 - The One With All the Jealousy
Friends - 3x13 - The One Where Monica and Richard
Friends - 3x14 - The One With Phoebes Ex-Partner
Friends - 3x15 - The One Where Ross and Rachel Take
Friends - 3x16 - The One the Morning After
Friends - 3x17 - The One Without the Ski Trip
Friends - 3x18 - The One With the Hypnosis Tape
Friends - 3x19 - The One With the Tiny T-Shirt
Friends - 3x20 - The One With the Dollhouse
Friends - 3x21 - The One With a Chick and a Duck
Friends - 3x22 - The One With the Screamer
Friends - 3x23 - The One With Rosss Thing
Friends - 3x24 - The One With Ultimate Fighting Champ
Friends - 3x25 - The One at the Beach
Friends - 4x01 - The One With the Jellyfish
Friends - 4x02 - The One With the Cat
Friends - 4x03 - The One With the Cuffs
Friends - 4x04 - The One With the Ballroom Dancing
Friends - 4x05 - The One With Joeys New Girlfriend
Friends - 4x06 - The One With the Dirty Girl
Friends - 4x07 - The One Where Chandler Crosses
Friends - 4x08 - The One With Chandler in a Box
Friends - 4x09 - The One Where They are Going
Friends - 4x10 - The One With the Girl from
Friends - 4x11 - The One With Phoebes Uterus
Friends - 4x12 - The One With the Embryos
Friends - 4x13 - The One With Rachels Crush
Friends - 4x14 - The One With Joeys Dirty Day
Friends - 4x15 - The One With All the Rugby
Friends - 4x16 - The One With the Fake Party
Friends - 4x17 - The One With the Free Porn
Friends - 4x18 - The One With Rachels New Dress
Friends - 4x19 - The One With All the Haste
Friends - 4x20 - The One With All the Wedding Dresses
Friends - 4x21 - The One With the Invitation
Friends - 4x22 - The One With the Worst Best Man Ever
Friends - 4x23 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 1
Friends - 4x24 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 2
Friends - 5x01 - The One After Ross Says Rachel
Friends - 5x02 - The One With All the Kissing
Friends - 5x03 - The One Hundreth
Friends - 5x04 - The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS
Friends - 5x05 - The One With the Kips
Friends - 5x06 - The One With the Yeti
Friends - 5x07 - The One Where Ross Moves In
Friends - 5x08 - The One With All the Thanksgivins
Friends - 5x09 - The One With Rosss Sandwich
Friends - 5x10 - The One With the Inappropiate Sister
Friends - 5x11 - The One With All the Resolutions
Friends - 5x12 - The One With Chandlers Work Laugh
Friends - 5x13 - The One With Joeys Bag
Friends - 5x14 - The One Where Everyone Finds Out
Friends - 5x15 - The One With the Girl Who Hits Joey
Friends - 5x16 - The One With the Cop
Friends - 5x17 - The One With Rachels
Friends - 5x18 - The One Where Rachel Smokes
Friends - 5x19 - The One Where Ross Cant Flirt
Friends - 5x20 - The One With the Ride-Along
Friends - 5x21 - The One With the Ball
Friends - 5x22 - The One With Joeys Big Break
Friends - 5x23 - The One in Vegas
Friends - 6x01 - The One After Vegas
Friends - 6x02 - The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel
Friends - 6x03 - The One With Rosss Denial
Friends - 6x04 - The One Where Joey Loses His
Friends - 6x05 - The One With Joeys Porsche
Friends - 6x06 - The One On the Last Night
Friends - 6x07 - The One Where Phoebe Runs
Friends - 6x08 - The One With Rosss Teeth
Friends - 6x15
Friends 7x01 - The One with Monicas Thunder
Friends 7x02 - The One With Rachels Book
Friends 7x03 - The One With Phoebes Cookies
Friends 7x04 - The One With Rachels Assistant
Friends 7x05 - The One With The Engagement Picture
Friends 7x06 - The One With The Nap Partners
Friends 7x07 - The One with Rosss Library Book
Friends 7x08 - The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs
Friends 7x09 - The One With All the Candy
Friends 7x10 - The One With The Holiday Armadillo
Friends 7x11 - The One With All The Cheesecakes
Friends 7x12 - The One Where They are Up All Night
Friends 7x13 - The One Where Rosita Dies
Friends 7x14 - The One Where They All Turn Thirty
Friends 7x15 - The One With Joeys New Brain
Friends 7x16 - The One With the Truth About London
Friends 7x17 - The One With the Cheap Wedding Dress
Friends 7x18 - The One With Joeys Award
Friends 7x19 - The One With Ross and Monicas Cousin
Friends 7x20 - The One With Rachels Kisses
Friends 7x21 - The One With the Vows
Friends 7x22 - The One With Chandlers Dad
Friends 7x23 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 1
Friends 7x24 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 2
Friends 9x01 - The One Where No One Proposes
Friends 9x02 - The One Where Emma Cries
Friends 9x03 - The One With The Pediatrician
Friends 9x04 - The One With The Sharks
Friends 9x05 - The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner
Friends 9x06 - The One With The Male Nanny
Friends 9x07 - The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song
Friends 9x08 - The One With Rachels Other Sister
Friends 9x09 - The One With Rachels Phone Number
Friends 9x10 - The One With Christmas In Tulsa
Friends 9x11 - The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work
Friends 9x12 - The One With Phoebes Rats
Friends 9x13 - The One Where Monica Sings
Friends 9x14 - The One With The Blind Dates
Friends 9x15 - The One With The Mugging
Friends 9x16 - The One With The Boob Job
Friends 9x17 - The One With The Memorial Service
Friends 9x18 - The One With The Lottery
Friends 9x19 - The One With Rachels Dream
Friends 9x20 - The One With The Soap Opera Party
Friends 9x21 - The One With The Fertility Test
Friends 9x22 - The One With The Donor
Friends 9x23-24 - The One In Barbados 1 2)
Frisson des vampires Le
From Beijing with love
From Dusk Till Dawn
From Dusk Till Dawn 3 The Hangmans Daughter
From Hell
From Justin To Kelly (Special Edition)
Frontera La
Frusta e il corpo La
Fucking Amal
Fudoh The New Generation 1996
Fugitive The - The Chase Continues
Fugitives (2000)
Fukssvansen (Chop Chop)
Full Frontal 2002
Full Metal Jacket
Full Time Killer
Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD1
Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD2
Fun in Acapulco (Richard Thorpe 1963)
Funeral Parade of Roses
Funeral in Berlin
Funny Girl
Fuochi dArtifizio
Furia (2002)
Fury The (1978)
Futurama 1x01 - Space Pilot 3000
Futurama 1x02 - The Series Has Landed
Futurama 1x03 - I Roommate
Futurama 1x04 - Loves Labors Lost in Space
Futurama 1x05 - Fear of a Bot Planet
Futurama 1x06 - A Fishful of Dollars
Futurama 1x07 - My Three Suns
Futurama 1x08 - A Big Piece of Garbage
Futurama 1x09 - Hell is Other Robots
Futurama 2x01 - A Flight to Remember
Futurama 2x02 - Mars University
Futurama 2x03 - When Aliens Attack
Futurama 2x04 - Fry and the Slurm Factory
Futurama 3x01 - Amazon Women in the Mood
Futurama 3x02 - Parasites Lost
Futurama 3x03 - A Tale of Two Santas
Futurama 3x04 - The Luck of the Fryrish
Futurama 3x05 - The Birdbot of Ice-catraz
Futurama 3x06 - Bendless Love
Futurama 3x07 - The Day the Earth Stood Stupid
Futurama 3x08 - Thats Lobstertainment
Futurama 3x09 - The Cyber House Rules
Futurama 3x10 - Insane in the Mainframe
Futurama 3x10 - Where The Buggalo Roam
Futurama 3x12 - The Route of All Evil
Futurama 3x13 - Bendin in the Wind
Futurama 3x14 - Time Keeps on Slippin
Futurama 3x15 - I Dated a Robot
Futurama 3x16 - A Leela of Her Own
Futurama 3x17 - A Pharaoh To Remember
Futurama 3x18 - Anthology of Interest Part 2
Futurama 3x19 - Roswell That Ends Well
Futurama 3x20 - Godfellas
Futurama 3x21 - Future Stock
Futurama 3x22 - The 30 Iron Chef
Futurama 4x01 - Kif Gets Knocked Up a Notch
Futurama 4x02 - Leelas Homeworld
Futurama 4x03 - Love and Rocket
Futurama 4x04 - Less Than Hero
Futurama 4x05 - A Taste of Freedom
Futurama 4x06 - Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV
Futurama 4x07 - Jurassic Bark
Futurama 4x08 - Crimes of the Hot
Futurama 4x09 - Teenage Mutant Leelas Hurdles
Futurama 4x10 - The Why of Fry
Futurama 4x11 - Where no Fan Has Gone Before
Futurama 4x12 - The Sting
Futurama 4x13 - Bend Her
Futurama 4x14 - Obsoletely Fabulous
Futurama 4x15 - The Farnsworth Parabox
Futurama 4x16 - Three Hundred Big Boys
Futurama 4x17 - Spanish Fry
Futurama 4x18 - The Devils Hands are Idle Playthings
Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD1
Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD2