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Futurama 1x03 - I Roommate

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I, Roommate
If you're going to live in the office, at least be on time for work.
I'm sorry. I was up really late poking through people's desks.
All right, I will now outline today's 1 2-point agenda.
We'll begin with point one, then race forward--
Concerning our pest problem. . .
. . .somebody's leaving food around, attracting owls.
And l, for one, am getting tired of cleaning those owl traps.
Now. . .
. . .as this shocking graph shows, our water consumption tripled last month.
I noticed Fry's been here a month. . .
. . .so I'll appoint him to find who's responsible.
Am I cracking up, or is Fry's living here getting in the way of bus--?
You're getting a huge dose of radiation.
And great lift.
Know how long it'll take to recalibrate these?
When you look this good, you don't have to know anything.
We need to talk about Fry.
That's right! We want money! What's this about Fry?
He's nice, but it's time he got his own place.
Fuff! He's not causing trouble. Now if you don't mind, I'm rather busy.
I seem to have mislaid my alien mummy.
This sarcophagus should contain Emperor Nimballa. . .
. . .who ruled Zubin Five over 29 million years ago.
Hey, professor, great jerky.
My God, this is an outrage! I was going to eat that mummy!
Fry has got to go!
NARRATOR: Bachelor Chow, now with flavor.
ANNOUNCER: And Bigfoot is down!
Sheesh, 40,000 channels and only 1 50 of them have anything good on.
ANNOUNCER: All My Circuits brought to you by...
...Robo Fresh, designed by a robot, for a robot.
I've been processing this for some time, Monique. Will you marry me?
Oh, Calculon!
It fits!
-You must know I'm-- -Metric?
I've always known, but for you, my darling, I'm willing to convert.
Must be a friend of theirs.
We've got to discuss your living arrangements.
-We've all talked it over-- -All My Circuits !
Move over.
Sometimes in close quarters, people do inconsiderate things not realizing it.
-I know, but I forgive you. -No. . .
. . .by "close quarters," I mean this office.
-By "people," I mean you. -Right.
-And by "inconsiderate"-- -We're trying to watch TV!
Yeah, would you kindly shut your noise hole?
-Who's the weird-looking guy? -He's a human.
-What's he do? -Usually human stuff.
-He laughs, he learns, he loves. -Boring.
Calculon, I thought you were in a coma.
I wanted you to think that with your soft, human brain.
FRY: Hey, why's the TV getting smaller?
We'll bill you for the couch.
Cheer up, meat bag. You barely touched your amoeba.
I just don't feel like eating. You want it?
Nah, I'm watching my input. I need lots of wholesome, nutritious alcohol.
The chemical energy keeps my fuel cells charged.
-What are the cigars for? -They make me look cool.
I can't believe they threw me out. I must have been a jerk.
Yeah, but everybody's a jerk. You, me, this jerk.
That's my philosophy. So where are you gonna stay?
I don't know. Do refrigerators still come in boxes?
But the rent's outrageous. Why don't you move in with me?
Really? That would be great! You sure I won't be imposing?
Nah, I've always wanted a pet.
-Here we are, your new home! -Cool.
I've never seen a robot's apartment.
Come on in. I'll give you the tour.
Let's see. Where to start? Okay, this is the TV area.
That's the breakfast nook. Here's where you'll live. . .
. . .which is great because it's been wasted space.
It's cramped. I don't even have room to hang my clothes.
You've got one set of clothes. . .
. . .and you're not taking them off while I'm here.
-Well, I'm bushed. Good night. -Wait, Bender. Bender?
Kill all humans, kill all humans. Must kill all hu--
Bender, wake up!
I was having the most wonderful dream. I think you were in it.
Listen, Bender, where's your bathroom?
-Bath what? -Bathroom.
-What room? -Bathroom!
-What, what? -Never mind.
Hey, sexy mama. Want to kill all humans?
We're cheerful this morning.
This week with Fry's been a blast.
Beneath the warm, sunny exterior beats the cold, mechanical heart of a robot.
-What happened? -It's Bender's apartment.
He put in carpeting. Now, my head hits the ceiling.
Do you realize you're standing at a weird angle?
-Now you're okay. -Look at you.
You're a wreck. You have to find a new place.
Is that an invitation?
Love your optimism. Seriously, you must tell Bender you're moving out.
He might get upset. I can't do that to him.
Hey, there's my little space heater.
-Well, I'm moving out. -What?
I'm sorry, but there's not enough room.
Not enough room? My place is two cubic meters and we only take up 1 .5.
We have room for another two-thirds of a person!
What if I help you two find a bigger place?
I don't know. I've got a lot of great memories in my old place.
And now they're gone.
Sure, it ain't one of them la-di-da aboveground places. . .
. . .but if you like dank, hey, forget about it!
At least it's got a great view.
What the--?
Excuse me. I gotta go change a light bulb.
Wow! Now, this is fantastic!
I'm not sure we want to pay for a dimension we won't use.
I give up. What's the catch?
No catch, although we are technically in New Jersey.
Not one place even remotely livable.
Oh, how awful. Did he at least die painlessly?
To shreds, you say? Well, how is his wife holding up?
To shreds, you say? Very well, then.
Sad, sad, terrible, gruesome news about my colleague, Dr. Mobootu.
Was his apartment rent-controlled?
Wow! This is beautiful!
BENDER: What's with the crap? -It's not crap.
Dr. Mobootu collected this crap while he explored the universe.
This place has everything but the thing I care about, a TV.
It's got a TV, you young what-you-call-it. Idiot.
Slow down! This place just doesn't feel like home.
It just isn't cozy.
I can barely move.
It's perfect!
Man, it's a total sty!
For the first time in years, I feel like I'm home.
It's gonna be fun on the bun.
You know, Fry, of all the friends I've had, you're the first.
-Hey, mon. -Blub-blub.
Happy housewarming, Fry. It's a miniature fruit-salad tree.
-Hey, Amy. -Hey.
This is for you, Fry. Zevulon the Great. He's teriyaki-style.
Wow, heavy-drinking crowd.
I'd better get more beer.
All My Circuits is starting.
But I need alcohol to power up my batteries.
If Calculon's wedding doesn't go just right. . .
. . .I'll be emotionally and electrically drained.
These are mighty tasty.
Thank you. I made them myself.
The wedding's about to start.
If anyone here objects to this union, let them speak now or forever hold--
-Is he objecting or backing up? -Both.
My half brother is correct. I have a terrible secret.
And that secret is--
-Oh, come on! -Fix it!
What happened to the TV?
-It went out. -This is an outrage!
I'm gonna go yell at the manager!
All right!
Come back, Bender! It's working.
To reiterate, my terrible secret is--
-It's out again. -What? That's the last straw.
It's back on!
I don't mean to pry into what you're doing. . .
. . .with the one-eyed lady and Chinese girl. . .
. . .but everyone's having trouble with their reception.
Get rid of what's causing it or we're out of this dump!
Relax, sonny. This cajigger will find the source of the interference.
-Hey, come on! -We want our TV back!
There's the problem.
My God, Bender, it's your thingy!
Then get rid of it!
You people are nuts! My antenna never interfered with my old TV.
You had cable. This is satellite.
Your thoughts are transmitted on the same frequency.
-They're on my cell phone too. -Madam, I believe you're mistaken.
BENDER: Wow, that lady's got a huge ass!
Those could be anyone's thoughts, fat ass.
-The robot has to go! -Yeah!
-Well, you heard the mob. -Fine!
Let's move to that apartment that smelled.
You liked that one.
It's tempting, but I am already kind of settled in here.
We can live underground with mutants. Some fire'll show them who's boss.
Is there maybe some way we could do this with you going and me not going?
I don't understand.
You live in the closet. You'll be as happy in your old place.
But we wouldn't be roommates.
I'll come visit. And you can visit me here.
-No, he can't! -Anyway, it'll work out.
This way, we'll both be happy.
Happy. Yeah, that's Bender. Always happy.
Hey! The TV's back on!
VOICE ON TV: We are gathered to mourn Calculon 's death...
...industrialist, private eye, friend.
CALCULON: Mind if I give the eulogy?
WOMAN'S VOICE: Calculon, you're alive!
FARNSWORTH: Right. So long.
Will Calculon's evil twin ever walk again?
I don't know, Amy. I just don't know.
Hey, thanks for coming.
How could you let that mob kick Bender out?
Come on. Bender loves mobs.
When he's in them. You really hurt his feelings.
Don't girl me with that girl stuff. We're guys.
Guys don't have feelings.
-Bender's not a guy; he's a robot. -Same thing.
It's so big and empty.
My roommate's gone.
All he left behind was an eyelash and three skin flakes.
What's the point?
Bender? My God, you're a mess!
-Leave me alone. -Look at that five o'clock rust.
You've been up not drinking.
Hey, what I don't do is none of your business!
Please have a malt liquor, if not for you, for those who love you.
I hate the people who love me, and they hate me.
It's obvious you miss being Fry's roommate.
There's a better way to deal with it.
Like how? Having my antenna removed?
Well, if that would work.
You crazy? That's Little Bender you're talking about!
I can't cut it! You're not a robot or a man, so you wouldn't understand.
I gotta get out of here.
Wait, look at me and promise you won't get behind the wheel. . .
. . .without an alcoholic beverage in your hand.
I promise nothing!
What up?
I can't be silent about Bender anymore.
Silent? You've been meddling for two weeks.
I can't just do that. Your best friend's out there destroying himself.
I didn't think he'd miss this apartment that much.
He doesn't. He cares about you. And you turned your back on him.
Oh, man, I had no idea. If only I knew where he was, I'd go talk to him.
Oh, stupid TV!
You're blind, stinking sober!
Right! I'm sober and crazy and I don't know what I might do!
-Don't do it! -I don't know what it is!
Oh, yeah, now I remember.
I thought I could live alone, but I can't.
So, I'm gonna do what it takes to be your roommate again.
-Stop! -Cutting her head off won't help!
No, I'm gonna chop off my antenna.
Hey, yeah, that sounds good. Can I give you a hand?
Don't help him mutilate himself!
It's a useless antenna. He's not a ham radio.
I'm gonna do it, I'm really gonna do it! Don't try and stop me!
Here goes!
Hey, it worked! The static's gone!
-I hate that this came between us. -Me too.
I'm filled with a large number ofpowerful emotions.
You're my best friend. Sorry I treated you badly.
Apology accepted. After all, you're only human.
You guys could learn from them.
-She's right. -You're my best friend, Fry.
-I'm sorry I treated you so badly. -Apology accepted.
After all, you're only human.
Wait a minute. You did it all backwards.
Fry's the one who should be--
Oh, never mind.
-What's wrong? -Nothing.
I'm just gonna have to get used to being half a robot.
This isn't right. If we found your antenna, could they reattach it?
Maybe, if we get it on ice right away.
You call that an antenna?
This time, you'll have the human comforts.
We'll get a couple of toilets, food cookers, maybe a puppy.
-It's good to be home. -It sure is.
I saved your stuff.
So that's where those skin flakes went.
-Will this tree get enough light? -The closet has a window.
This is huge! Bender, why don't I just live in here?
In a closet? Oh, humans.
Face 2004
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Friends - 4x21 - The One With the Invitation
Friends - 4x22 - The One With the Worst Best Man Ever
Friends - 4x23 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 1
Friends - 4x24 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 2
Friends - 5x01 - The One After Ross Says Rachel
Friends - 5x02 - The One With All the Kissing
Friends - 5x03 - The One Hundreth
Friends - 5x04 - The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS
Friends - 5x05 - The One With the Kips
Friends - 5x06 - The One With the Yeti
Friends - 5x07 - The One Where Ross Moves In
Friends - 5x08 - The One With All the Thanksgivins
Friends - 5x09 - The One With Rosss Sandwich
Friends - 5x10 - The One With the Inappropiate Sister
Friends - 5x11 - The One With All the Resolutions
Friends - 5x12 - The One With Chandlers Work Laugh
Friends - 5x13 - The One With Joeys Bag
Friends - 5x14 - The One Where Everyone Finds Out
Friends - 5x15 - The One With the Girl Who Hits Joey
Friends - 5x16 - The One With the Cop
Friends - 5x17 - The One With Rachels
Friends - 5x18 - The One Where Rachel Smokes
Friends - 5x19 - The One Where Ross Cant Flirt
Friends - 5x20 - The One With the Ride-Along
Friends - 5x21 - The One With the Ball
Friends - 5x22 - The One With Joeys Big Break
Friends - 5x23 - The One in Vegas
Friends - 6x01 - The One After Vegas
Friends - 6x02 - The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel
Friends - 6x03 - The One With Rosss Denial
Friends - 6x04 - The One Where Joey Loses His
Friends - 6x05 - The One With Joeys Porsche
Friends - 6x06 - The One On the Last Night
Friends - 6x07 - The One Where Phoebe Runs
Friends - 6x08 - The One With Rosss Teeth
Friends - 6x15
Friends 7x01 - The One with Monicas Thunder
Friends 7x02 - The One With Rachels Book
Friends 7x03 - The One With Phoebes Cookies
Friends 7x04 - The One With Rachels Assistant
Friends 7x05 - The One With The Engagement Picture
Friends 7x06 - The One With The Nap Partners
Friends 7x07 - The One with Rosss Library Book
Friends 7x08 - The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs
Friends 7x09 - The One With All the Candy
Friends 7x10 - The One With The Holiday Armadillo
Friends 7x11 - The One With All The Cheesecakes
Friends 7x12 - The One Where They are Up All Night
Friends 7x13 - The One Where Rosita Dies
Friends 7x14 - The One Where They All Turn Thirty
Friends 7x15 - The One With Joeys New Brain
Friends 7x16 - The One With the Truth About London
Friends 7x17 - The One With the Cheap Wedding Dress
Friends 7x18 - The One With Joeys Award
Friends 7x19 - The One With Ross and Monicas Cousin
Friends 7x20 - The One With Rachels Kisses
Friends 7x21 - The One With the Vows
Friends 7x22 - The One With Chandlers Dad
Friends 7x23 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 1
Friends 7x24 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 2
Friends 9x01 - The One Where No One Proposes
Friends 9x02 - The One Where Emma Cries
Friends 9x03 - The One With The Pediatrician
Friends 9x04 - The One With The Sharks
Friends 9x05 - The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner
Friends 9x06 - The One With The Male Nanny
Friends 9x07 - The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song
Friends 9x08 - The One With Rachels Other Sister
Friends 9x09 - The One With Rachels Phone Number
Friends 9x10 - The One With Christmas In Tulsa
Friends 9x11 - The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work
Friends 9x12 - The One With Phoebes Rats
Friends 9x13 - The One Where Monica Sings
Friends 9x14 - The One With The Blind Dates
Friends 9x15 - The One With The Mugging
Friends 9x16 - The One With The Boob Job
Friends 9x17 - The One With The Memorial Service
Friends 9x18 - The One With The Lottery
Friends 9x19 - The One With Rachels Dream
Friends 9x20 - The One With The Soap Opera Party
Friends 9x21 - The One With The Fertility Test
Friends 9x22 - The One With The Donor
Friends 9x23-24 - The One In Barbados 1 2)
Frisson des vampires Le
From Beijing with love
From Dusk Till Dawn
From Dusk Till Dawn 3 The Hangmans Daughter
From Hell
From Justin To Kelly (Special Edition)
Frontera La
Frusta e il corpo La
Fucking Amal
Fudoh The New Generation 1996
Fugitive The - The Chase Continues
Fugitives (2000)
Fukssvansen (Chop Chop)
Full Frontal 2002
Full Metal Jacket
Full Time Killer
Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD1
Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD2
Fun in Acapulco (Richard Thorpe 1963)
Funeral Parade of Roses
Funeral in Berlin
Funny Girl
Fuochi dArtifizio
Furia (2002)
Fury The (1978)
Futurama 1x01 - Space Pilot 3000
Futurama 1x02 - The Series Has Landed
Futurama 1x03 - I Roommate
Futurama 1x04 - Loves Labors Lost in Space
Futurama 1x05 - Fear of a Bot Planet
Futurama 1x06 - A Fishful of Dollars
Futurama 1x07 - My Three Suns
Futurama 1x08 - A Big Piece of Garbage
Futurama 1x09 - Hell is Other Robots
Futurama 2x01 - A Flight to Remember
Futurama 2x02 - Mars University
Futurama 2x03 - When Aliens Attack
Futurama 2x04 - Fry and the Slurm Factory
Futurama 3x01 - Amazon Women in the Mood
Futurama 3x02 - Parasites Lost
Futurama 3x03 - A Tale of Two Santas
Futurama 3x04 - The Luck of the Fryrish
Futurama 3x05 - The Birdbot of Ice-catraz
Futurama 3x06 - Bendless Love
Futurama 3x07 - The Day the Earth Stood Stupid
Futurama 3x08 - Thats Lobstertainment
Futurama 3x09 - The Cyber House Rules
Futurama 3x10 - Insane in the Mainframe
Futurama 3x10 - Where The Buggalo Roam
Futurama 3x12 - The Route of All Evil
Futurama 3x13 - Bendin in the Wind
Futurama 3x14 - Time Keeps on Slippin
Futurama 3x15 - I Dated a Robot
Futurama 3x16 - A Leela of Her Own
Futurama 3x17 - A Pharaoh To Remember
Futurama 3x18 - Anthology of Interest Part 2
Futurama 3x19 - Roswell That Ends Well
Futurama 3x20 - Godfellas
Futurama 3x21 - Future Stock
Futurama 3x22 - The 30 Iron Chef
Futurama 4x01 - Kif Gets Knocked Up a Notch
Futurama 4x02 - Leelas Homeworld
Futurama 4x03 - Love and Rocket
Futurama 4x04 - Less Than Hero
Futurama 4x05 - A Taste of Freedom
Futurama 4x06 - Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV
Futurama 4x07 - Jurassic Bark
Futurama 4x08 - Crimes of the Hot
Futurama 4x09 - Teenage Mutant Leelas Hurdles
Futurama 4x10 - The Why of Fry
Futurama 4x11 - Where no Fan Has Gone Before
Futurama 4x12 - The Sting
Futurama 4x13 - Bend Her
Futurama 4x14 - Obsoletely Fabulous
Futurama 4x15 - The Farnsworth Parabox
Futurama 4x16 - Three Hundred Big Boys
Futurama 4x17 - Spanish Fry
Futurama 4x18 - The Devils Hands are Idle Playthings
Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD1
Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD2