Friends 9x16 - The One With The Boob Job
Have you seen our bank statement?|Can this be right?
I know. God, I haven't seen|my savings take a hit like this...
...since I was a kid and they came up|with Double Stuf Oreos.
- What happened to all of our money?|- I'm not sure exactly what they did...
...but I'm inclined to blame Enron.
With you doing the internship, we're|spending more than we're bringing in.
Yeah, maybe I should quit|and get a job that pays.
But you're finally doing something|that you love.
I mean, I can't ask you to give that up.
Although it would be nice if the thing|that you loved was finding gold.
You know, I think we're making|too big a deal out of this.
We'll pay our bills late this month. Next|month we'll cut back on a few things.
And maybe we start eating|out of Joey's refrigerator for a change.
You're a chef. What can you make|out of baking soda and beer?
Worst-case scenario is, we borrow|some money from my parents.
No, we're not borrowing money.
- Why not?|- We don't do that. We are Bings.
If there's one thing my father|taught me, it was...
...well, to always knock|before going into the pool house.
- The other thing is, never borrow money.|- I had no idea you had this much pride.
That's right, I do. I am your man.|I'm gonna get us through this situation...
...even if it means you working|twice as hard.
The One With the Boob Job
Ripped by|mrnch@dh.net.mk
Subtitles processed by|Subtitle Editor (c) Digital Higherground - Igor Janevski, 2004
- I'm gonna go.|- Why?
I haven't been home in days,|and I need to get more clothes.
You don't have to go.|I have something that'll fit you.
I put that tube top on as a joke.
- I want you to stay.|- I want to stay too.
But I've got as much use|out of these boxers as I can.
- Why don't you turn them inside...|- Done it.
- I'll be back in a couple of hours.|- All right. I'll miss you.
Me too.
You know what? I just realized|something. I don't want to go home.
- Great! Okay, I'll go get the tube top.|- No, no, what I mean is...
...I hate going back|to my apartment now.
Partly because I live above|a known crack den...
...but, you know, mostly because|when I'm there, I really miss you.
So...
...do you want to move in together?
Wow, Mike Hanigan...
...you sure know how to|make a girl say "Hell, yeah."
- So we're doing it?|- Yeah, let's do it. Let's live together.
- We're really gonna move in together?|- Yeah.
I've always wanted to live with a guy.
Pick up your socks.|Put down the toilet seat.
No, we are not having sex anymore.
It's gonna be fun.
- Hey, Joey.|- Hey.
Listen, I need to know|that what I'm about to ask you...
...will never get back to Chandler.
I'd be lying if I said I hadn't|thought about it myself.
But Chandler is my best friend.|It would be wrong.
Good, but wrong.
Okay, first of all, it would be great.
But that's not what I'm here to talk|to you about. I need to borrow money.
Oh, I don't know, Monica.|You know...
...lending friends money|is always a mistake.
- But Chandler lent you money.|- And he would tell you it was a mistake.
Come on, I just... I need it|for some rent and some other bills.
Well, how much?
- Two thousand dollars?|- Two thousand dollars?
What do you think I am,|a soap opera star?
- Yeah.|- That's right, I am.
- Hi, you guys.|- Hey.
- What's in the bag?|- You know how Emma started crawling?
I realized that this place|is very unsafe for a baby...
...so I went to the store and I got some|stuff to baby-proof the apartment.
Oh, God, baby-proofing.
Why is it such a big deal now?|You know, when I was a kid, it was like:
"Whoops, Joey fell down the stairs."
Or, "Whoops, Joey electrocuted|himself again."
Anyway, are you going to get|a handyman to install this stuff?
No, I was just gonna do it myself.
- You're gonna do it?|- Yeah. Why?
- You don't think a woman can do this?|- Women can. You can't.
Monica, will you please tell Joey|that he is a pig.
- You're a pig. And you can't do this.|- What?
What? Come on, I found|the hardware store all by myself.
The store's right down the street.
There is a hardware store|right down the street?
Hey, you guys?|Okay, we've got great news.
- Phoebe and I are moving in together.|- Congratulations.
I know, it's so exciting. You know,|I've never lived with a guy before.
Well, it's just like living with a girl,|only they don't steal your makeup.
Unless they're playing "This Is What|My Sister Would Look Like."
Yeah, she's not so cute.
- I'm gonna go to the bathroom.|- Well, you put down the toilet seat.
Yes, dear.
- Is that a bit you guys do?|- Uh-huh. We're playing you two.
We don't do that.|Tell her we don't do that.
Yes, dear.
I can't believe you're moving in|together. I'm happy for you guys.
- I hear wedding bells.|- Monica, slow down, okay?
I'm just excited to be living with him.
You know, I mean, I don't know...
...can I see someday being|married to Mike? Sure. Yeah.
I could picture myself walking down|the aisle in a wedding dress...
...that highlights my breasts|in an obvious yet classy way.
But do I want that house in Connecticut|near the good schools...
...where Mike and I could send|little Sophie and Mike Jr.?
Oh, my God, I do.
- I had no idea you were so conventional.|- I know. I guess I am.
Oh, my God, load up the Volvo,|I want to be a soccer mom.
- You ready to go?|- Yeah, you bet, roomie.
Don't you mean "groomie"?
- What are you talking about?|- Please.
We haven't even moved in yet, and|they have us picking out china patterns.
China patterns!
This is easy. "Can't do this..."
Wow, seriously. Can't do this.
- Hey, Joe.|- Hey.
Listen, I need to ask you a favor, and|we can't tell Monica anything about it.
- I thought you guys didn't have secrets.|- That will remain the official party line.
Look, Monica and I are having|a little financial trouble.
- Yeah, I know.|- What? What do you mean, you "know"?
I just figured it out, you know?
I mean, you're not working,|and the economy is bad.
Oh, right.
That is the fastest I have ever thought.
Anyway...
...I need to borrow some money.
Oh, sure. Yeah, how much?|Two thousand dollars?
Yes, $2000 exactly.|How did you know that?
I know how much you used to make,|and I know how much your rent is.
Oh, okay.
I am on fire.
Listen, this is really nice.
Did you write a check to Monica|for $2000?
Did Monica borrow money from you?
- Kind of.|- I can't believe her.
Did she tell you we were having|money problems?
No, no, no. It wasn't because|of your money problems.
It was for something for her.
What?
Something personal.
What would she get for $2000|that she wouldn't tell me about?
Excuse me.
Boob job.
I don't want her to get a boob job.|That's crazy.
Well, it's not that crazy, okay?
Making them smaller,|that would be crazy.
Oh, hey, I wanted to ask you|about Monica's little "groomie" joke.
Well, I think the reason people laughed|is that it's a play on the word "roomie."
I get the joke. Sophisticated as it was.
No, the thing I want to say is...
Maybe we should've|talked about this before.
Us living together,|you're not expecting a proposal, right?
- Oh, no, no. Not at all.|- Okay.
We're just moving in right now.|We'll see where it goes.
Yeah, well, that's the thing.|For me, it's as far as it can ever go.
- What do you mean?|- Look, Phoebe, I...
I love you very much.|But I never want to get married again.
- Wow.|- It's just, my first marriage was...
...you know, such a disaster that|I kind of lost faith in the whole idea.
- Was it that bad?|- At one point, near the end...
...she deliberately defecated on my...|- Okay, well, that's bad. Yeah.
But don't you think it might be|different with someone else? Perhaps...
...a blond who always|uses the toilet?
Except for once in the ocean.
Look, it's not about who I would marry.
I was certain the first time I got married|it'd last forever. I was wrong.
- But, it just...|- Look, Phoebe, it's not about you.
I just never want to get married again.
I'm sorry.
Are you okay with that? If not, maybe|us moving in together isn't the best idea.
No. Oh, I definitely don't|want to get married.
I just wanted to make sure|you didn't want to, too.
Because if we move in|and you start changing your mind...
...there is gonna be|hell to pay, mister.
- Trust me. I will never...|- Yeah, I get that. Yeah.
Hi. So you gave in|and decided to call someone?
Yeah. I don't know who I was kidding.|I can barely use chopsticks.
- You're all set.|- Oh, thank you so much.
Wait. You forgot your...
...game.
Thank you.
Hey, Rach. There she is,|my perfectly proportioned wife.
Don't look at me.|I never get his jokes.
- Thank you?|- No, no. Don't thank me.
Thank you. Do you know there is not|one thing I would change about you?
Not one single thing.|And definitely not...
...two single things.
Okay, you're being weird. Do you want|sex, or did you do something bad?
No. No. No. I just love|the way you look. I am warm...
...for your form.
Okay, you know the old classics like,|you know, "You look nice"?
They're still okay.
But "you look nice" could mean|that I'm saying, "Your face looks nice."
I want to compliment your body.
I mean, I wouldn't change it at all.
And more specifically, I wouldn't|want anything to get any bigger.
- Okay.|- I mean...
...you wouldn't want any part of me|to get any bigger, would you?
Don't answer that.
Just when you thought that dude|couldn't get any weirder.
Why do you think he was so worried|about me getting bigger?
I don't know.|I mean, what brought that on?
Oh, my God. You know what,|we're trying to get pregnant...
...so he's probably starting to freak out|that my body's gonna change.
- You think that's what it is?|- You heard him.
"No bigger. You're perfect.|Just don't get any bigger."
My God, he sounded just like|my high-school wrestling coach.
- I'm gonna have to talk to Chandler.|- Yeah. If you don't, I will.
Of course your body's gonna change.|Your breasts are gonna get bigger...
...your ass is gonna get bigger...
...you're gonna lose bladder control.
God, it's just such a magical time.
Hi. Listen, I wanted to ask you|something about marriage.
Now you're seeking me out|to make jokes?
I mean, I can see if we're all hanging|out, but to come to my home...
No, I really want to know|how you feel about it.
- Why?|- Mike doesn't ever want to get married.
- Never?|- Never.
Wow. Are you still gonna|move in with him?
I want to, but I wanted you to tell me|that marriage really isn't that big a deal.
You know, that I won't be missing out|on anything. That marriage stinks.
Yeah, marriage stinks.
I mean, if you want to see a man gain|weight and a woman stop shaving...
...get them married.
- That's not how you really feel, is it?|- No, I'm sorry.
I know it's not what you want to hear,|but I can't help it. I love marriage.
Seriously, you?|"Divorce-o"?
If you have to call me a name, I'd prefer|"Ross, the Divorcer." It's just cooler.
Look, I know my marriages|didn't exactly work out...
...but, you know, I loved being|that committed to another person.
And Carol and I had some good times|before she became a lesbian.
And once afterward.
Anyway, I'm sorry.
It's okay. That's how you feel.
But, come on, I mean,|living together will be great.
I mean, you guys have so much fun.|And you love Mike.
- I do love Mike.|- Yeah, see?
And you were so excited about|moving in together before...
...and you know what, you should be.|It's a big deal.
Yeah, I guess you're right.
Yeah, thanks. This helped. Thanks.
The Divorcer to the rescue.
- It's not cooler.|- Yeah, I just heard it.
Rach?
Rachel?!
So I can't do anything I like?!
Hey, Rach.
Perfection.|Wouldn't change a thing. Not a thing.
- Honey?|- Yeah?
About that.
- I'm going to change.|- Yes, but, honey, you don't have to.
I'm gonna get bigger.
Honey, I...
I love your breasts the way they are.
Fascist.
My breasts are gonna get bigger|whether you like it or not.
And it's not just my breasts.|My ass is gonna get bigger too.
Your ass?!
And don't be surprised if her hands|and her feet get bigger too.
- They do that?|- It's kind of a package deal.
God, why? Why would you want to|do that to yourself?
I thought it was something|that we both wanted.
If it means that much to you, I may be|able to get onboard with the boobs...
...but the giant ass|and the big clown feet?
Oh, my God, Chandler.
If you can't handle this,|what will you be like in the hospital...
...with the blood and screaming and the|little person that's shooting out of her?
What?
Joey, why did you tell Chandler|that Monica was getting a boob job?
Because she is.
- Chandler knows I borrowed the money.|- For your boob job.
- Joe...|- It's over.
Okay, so I'm out $4000 and|nobody's boobs are getting any bigger?
Hey. Hey, what do you guys think|about this: Ross, the Divorce Force.
- Better.|- Yeah?
Very cool.
Hey, Pheebs? You know, I'm really glad|you came to talk to me the other day...
...and I hope I was a little helpful.|- Yeah, you were helpful.
- Yeah. No, thank you.|- Good. Good.
Because the more I thought about it,|the more I realized...
...I don't think marriage is necessarily|the right path for you.
What do you mean?
I know the other day|in the coffeehouse...
...you were all caught up|in the whole soccer-mom thing...
...but is that really you? I mean, can you|honestly picture yourself in a Volvo?
They are awfully boxy.
I mean, I don't know, you'd be so bored|with marriage. I mean, it's so normal.
Yeah.
Hey, can I help?
Well, we climbed up four flights of stairs,|maneuvered a narrow hallway...
...dodged a rabid pit bull. But these last|three feet are where it gets really tricky.
You know, sometimes your words,|they hurt.
Hey, where do you guys want this?
Yeah, seriously,|because this is really heavy.
I mean, not for me, because I'm only|pretending to hold it, but for these guys.
Just one last time on the marriage thing.|There's no wiggle room? None at all?
No, but you don't want to|get married either, right?
Right.
Except that I do want to get married.
Couldn't have had this conversation|down at the truck, huh?
What? You want to get married?
Someday.
And... hernia.
I haven't had a normal life. And I never|felt like I was missing out on anything.
But it feels like now it's my turn|to have some of the regular stuff.
Why didn't you say something before?
I didn't know how much I wanted it. And|I love you, and I wanted to live with you.
I want to live with you too.|I mean, let's do that.
But I don't think I can.
It was okay to move in when|I didn't know what was gonna happen.
But I can't move in knowing nothing|is ever gonna happen.
Can we at least try living together? You|might change your mind about marriage.
Are you gonna change yours?
No.
Me neither.
I think I need to be with someone|who wants what I want.
But I don't want this to end.
No, I don't want it to end either.
I can't believe this is gonna end.
I guess I'll have my stuff picked up.
Yeah. Okay.
Okay, so...
Goodbye.
- Take it easy, Mike.|- Bye, Mike.
I'm so sorry, Pheebs.
We're all sorry.
Look on the bright side. At least you|won't have to live with this ugly chair.
That was here already, huh?
I love you.
I did it! I did it!
All right.
I'd better take all I can carry.
Who knows when I'll be able|to get in here again, huh?
[ENGLISH]
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3x08 - The One With the Giant Poking Device Friends - 3x09 - The One With the Football Friends - 3x10 - The One Where Rachel Quits Friends - 3x11 - The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Friends - 3x12 - The One With All the Jealousy Friends - 3x13 - The One Where Monica and Richard Friends - 3x14 - The One With Phoebes Ex-Partner Friends - 3x15 - The One Where Ross and Rachel Take Friends - 3x16 - The One the Morning After Friends - 3x17 - The One Without the Ski Trip Friends - 3x18 - The One With the Hypnosis Tape Friends - 3x19 - The One With the Tiny T-Shirt Friends - 3x20 - The One With the Dollhouse Friends - 3x21 - The One With a Chick and a Duck Friends - 3x22 - The One With the Screamer Friends - 3x23 - The One With Rosss Thing Friends - 3x24 - The One With Ultimate Fighting Champ Friends - 3x25 - The One at the Beach Friends - 4x01 - The One With the Jellyfish Friends - 4x02 - The One With the Cat Friends - 4x03 - The One With the Cuffs Friends - 4x04 - The One With the Ballroom Dancing Friends - 4x05 - The One With Joeys New Girlfriend Friends - 4x06 - The One With the Dirty Girl Friends - 4x07 - The One Where Chandler Crosses Friends - 4x08 - The One With Chandler in a Box Friends - 4x09 - The One Where They are Going Friends - 4x10 - The One With the Girl from Friends - 4x11 - The One With Phoebes Uterus Friends - 4x12 - The One With the Embryos Friends - 4x13 - The One With Rachels Crush Friends - 4x14 - The One With Joeys Dirty Day Friends - 4x15 - The One With All the Rugby Friends - 4x16 - The One With the Fake Party Friends - 4x17 - The One With the Free Porn Friends - 4x18 - The One With Rachels New Dress Friends - 4x19 - The One With All the Haste Friends - 4x20 - The One With All the Wedding Dresses Friends - 4x21 - The One With the Invitation Friends - 4x22 - The One With the Worst Best Man Ever Friends - 4x23 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 1 Friends - 4x24 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 2 Friends - 5x01 - The One After Ross Says Rachel Friends - 5x02 - The One With All the Kissing Friends - 5x03 - The One Hundreth Friends - 5x04 - The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS Friends - 5x05 - The One With the Kips Friends - 5x06 - The One With the Yeti Friends - 5x07 - The One Where Ross Moves In Friends - 5x08 - The One With All the Thanksgivins Friends - 5x09 - The One With Rosss Sandwich Friends - 5x10 - The One With the Inappropiate Sister Friends - 5x11 - The One With All the Resolutions Friends - 5x12 - The One With Chandlers Work Laugh Friends - 5x13 - The One With Joeys Bag Friends - 5x14 - The One Where Everyone Finds Out Friends - 5x15 - The One With the Girl Who Hits Joey Friends - 5x16 - The One With the Cop Friends - 5x17 - The One With Rachels Friends - 5x18 - The One Where Rachel Smokes Friends - 5x19 - The One Where Ross Cant Flirt Friends - 5x20 - The One With the Ride-Along Friends - 5x21 - The One With the Ball Friends - 5x22 - The One With Joeys Big Break Friends - 5x23 - The One in Vegas Friends - 6x01 - The One After Vegas Friends - 6x02 - The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel Friends - 6x03 - The One With Rosss Denial Friends - 6x04 - The One Where Joey Loses His Friends - 6x05 - The One With Joeys Porsche Friends - 6x06 - The One On the Last Night Friends - 6x07 - The One Where Phoebe Runs Friends - 6x08 - The One With Rosss Teeth Friends - 6x15 Friends 7x01 - The One with Monicas Thunder Friends 7x02 - The One With Rachels Book Friends 7x03 - The One With Phoebes Cookies Friends 7x04 - The One With Rachels Assistant Friends 7x05 - The One With The Engagement Picture Friends 7x06 - The One With The Nap Partners Friends 7x07 - The One with Rosss Library Book Friends 7x08 - The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs Friends 7x09 - The One With All the Candy Friends 7x10 - The One With The Holiday Armadillo Friends 7x11 - The One With All The Cheesecakes Friends 7x12 - The One Where They are Up All Night Friends 7x13 - The One Where Rosita Dies Friends 7x14 - The One Where They All Turn Thirty Friends 7x15 - The One With Joeys New Brain Friends 7x16 - The One With the Truth About London Friends 7x17 - The One With the Cheap Wedding Dress Friends 7x18 - The One With Joeys Award Friends 7x19 - The One With Ross and Monicas Cousin Friends 7x20 - The One With Rachels Kisses Friends 7x21 - The One With the Vows Friends 7x22 - The One With Chandlers Dad Friends 7x23 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 1 Friends 7x24 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 2 Friends 9x01 - The One Where No One Proposes Friends 9x02 - The One Where Emma Cries Friends 9x03 - The One With The Pediatrician Friends 9x04 - The One With The Sharks Friends 9x05 - The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner Friends 9x06 - The One With The Male Nanny Friends 9x07 - The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song Friends 9x08 - The One With Rachels Other Sister Friends 9x09 - The One With Rachels Phone Number Friends 9x10 - The One With Christmas In Tulsa Friends 9x11 - The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work Friends 9x12 - The One With Phoebes Rats Friends 9x13 - The One Where Monica Sings Friends 9x14 - The One With The Blind Dates Friends 9x15 - The One With The Mugging Friends 9x16 - The One With The Boob Job Friends 9x17 - The One With The Memorial Service Friends 9x18 - The One With The Lottery Friends 9x19 - The One With Rachels Dream Friends 9x20 - The One With The Soap Opera Party Friends 9x21 - The One With The Fertility Test Friends 9x22 - The One With The Donor Friends 9x23-24 - The One In Barbados 1 2) Frisson des vampires Le From Beijing with love From Dusk Till Dawn From Dusk Till Dawn 3 The Hangmans Daughter From Hell From Justin To Kelly (Special Edition) Frontera La Frusta e il corpo La Fucking Amal Fudoh The New Generation 1996 Fugitive The - The Chase Continues Fugitives (2000) Fukssvansen (Chop Chop) Full Frontal 2002 Full Metal Jacket Full Time Killer Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD1 Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD2 Fun in Acapulco (Richard Thorpe 1963) Funeral Parade of Roses Funeral in Berlin Funny Girl Fuochi dArtifizio Furia (2002) Fury The (1978) Futurama 1x01 - Space Pilot 3000 Futurama 1x02 - The Series Has Landed Futurama 1x03 - I Roommate Futurama 1x04 - Loves Labors Lost in Space Futurama 1x05 - Fear of a Bot Planet Futurama 1x06 - A Fishful of Dollars Futurama 1x07 - My Three Suns Futurama 1x08 - A Big Piece of Garbage Futurama 1x09 - Hell is Other Robots Futurama 2x01 - A Flight to Remember Futurama 2x02 - Mars University Futurama 2x03 - When Aliens Attack Futurama 2x04 - Fry and the Slurm Factory Futurama 3x01 - Amazon Women in the Mood Futurama 3x02 - Parasites Lost Futurama 3x03 - A Tale of Two Santas Futurama 3x04 - The Luck of the Fryrish Futurama 3x05 - The Birdbot of Ice-catraz Futurama 3x06 - Bendless Love Futurama 3x07 - The Day the Earth Stood Stupid Futurama 3x08 - Thats Lobstertainment Futurama 3x09 - The Cyber House Rules Futurama 3x10 - Insane in the Mainframe Futurama 3x10 - Where The Buggalo Roam Futurama 3x12 - The Route of All Evil Futurama 3x13 - Bendin in the Wind Futurama 3x14 - Time Keeps on Slippin Futurama 3x15 - I Dated a Robot Futurama 3x16 - A Leela of Her Own Futurama 3x17 - A Pharaoh To Remember Futurama 3x18 - Anthology of Interest Part 2 Futurama 3x19 - Roswell That Ends Well Futurama 3x20 - Godfellas Futurama 3x21 - Future Stock Futurama 3x22 - The 30 Iron Chef Futurama 4x01 - Kif Gets Knocked Up a Notch Futurama 4x02 - Leelas Homeworld Futurama 4x03 - Love and Rocket Futurama 4x04 - Less Than Hero Futurama 4x05 - A Taste of Freedom Futurama 4x06 - Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV Futurama 4x07 - Jurassic Bark Futurama 4x08 - Crimes of the Hot Futurama 4x09 - Teenage Mutant Leelas Hurdles Futurama 4x10 - The Why of Fry Futurama 4x11 - Where no Fan Has Gone Before Futurama 4x12 - The Sting Futurama 4x13 - Bend Her Futurama 4x14 - Obsoletely Fabulous Futurama 4x15 - The Farnsworth Parabox Futurama 4x16 - Three Hundred Big Boys Futurama 4x17 - Spanish Fry Futurama 4x18 - The Devils Hands are Idle Playthings Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD1 Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD2
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