Friends 9x12 - The One With Phoebes Rats
- Where's Mon?|- She's at home...
...putting up decorations|for Rachel's birthday party tonight.
- You're not helping?|- I tried...
...but apparently singing "I Will Survive"|in a helium voice, not helping.
- Hey, guys.|- Hey.
Don't say that loud.|Gunther's gonna want to hug me.
Good news, everyone.|We finally found a nanny.
- This is Molly. Molly, Chandler, Joey.|- Hi.
Somebody's getting a little fussy.
You're damn right I am. I've been|waiting for a cookie for seven minutes.
Okay. You know what,|I'm just gonna take her outside.
- No, you stay. I'll do it.|- Okay. Thank you.
- Nice to meet you guys.|- Yeah, you too.
- Wow, Molly's just great.|- Yeah.
Yes, bravo on the hot nanny.
- What? You really think she's hot?|- Are you kidding?
If I wasn't married,|she'd be rejecting me right now.
Joey?
How do you think she's doing?
Am I the only one that doesn't think|she's hot? Ross?
- I mean, she's not unattractive, but...|- Right.
...but hot?
Thank you.
Now that Rachel's gone?
So hot, I cried myself to sleep|last night.
The One With Phoebe's Rats
Ripped by|mrnch@dh.net.mk
Subtitles processed by|Subtitle Editor (c) Digital Higherground - Igor Janevski, 2004
Hey, Mike,|what's the capital of Peru?
- Lima.|- No.
It starts with a V|and ends with an X.
And hopefully with a T-O|in the middle.
You know, come to think of it,|the capital of Peru is "Vtox."
- Oh, God!|- What?
Okay. I don't want to freak you out|or anything...
...but I just saw a rat|in your cupboard.
Oh, yeah. No, that's Bob.
Well, he's your pet rat?
Well, not so much a pet as, you know,|an occasional visitor...
...who I put food out for.|Kind of like Santa.
Except Santa doesn't poop|on the plate of cookies.
You can't keep a rat in your apartment.|They're unsanitary.
I mean, they transmit leptospirosis|and hantavirus.
- What are those?|- I don't know...
...but they don't sound|like spa treatments.
- You have to get rid of it.|- Okay, fine.
If it means that much to you,|I'll get rid of Bob.
Thank you.
It's so weird you think he's so gross,|yet you're willing to eat his crackers.
- Hello.|- Hello.
Gavin, I just want to say|thank you again...
...for watching Emma yesterday|during the presentation.
I really owe you an apology.
- For what?|- When we first met, you know...
...I thought you were pompous|and arrogant and obnoxious.
Is this your first apology?
No, I just mean, you know,|first impressions don't mean anything.
And I think you're a really good guy.|And I'm sorry that I misjudged you.
- Morning.|- Hello.
But you know what?|Hey, new day, new leaf.
I am just really, really happy...
I'm sorry. Obviously, Heather's ass|has something more important to say...
...so I'll just wait till it's finished.
- What?|- I was giving you an apology...
...and you were totally|checking her out.
I wasn't. I'm in fashion.|I was looking at her skirt.
Or was it pants? I didn't really see|what happened below the ass area.
Wow, you are really...|You're really a creep.
What do you care|if I was looking at her?
Are you jealous?
Oh, yeah. I'm jealous.
"Oh, Gavin. Please,|please look at my ass."
Stop looking at my ass!
I mean, I just think|you are totally inappropriate. Okay?
This is a work environment.|She's your subordinate.
But it was okay when you|slept with your old assistant, Tag?
That is totally different|for two reasons.
One: I didn't know|that you knew that.
And two: I wasn't some creep|staring at his ass.
We had a... We had a deep,|meaningful relationship.
What was Tag's last name?
It was...
Oh, my God.
He didn't... He didn't...|He didn't have a last name.
It was just Tag, you know,|like Cher or...
...you know, Moses.
But it was a deep,|meaningful relationship.
You know what? My first impression|of you was absolutely right.
You are arrogant. You are pompous.|Morgan! Morgan!
- Tag's last name was Morgan!|- It was Jones.
What are you, his boyfriend?
- Man, I wish I had a nanny like you.|- You mean when you were a baby?
Sure.
Would you stop staring at her?
I wasn't staring.
I was leering.
What's the big deal with her?
Maybe she's attractive|in an obvious kind of way.
Yeah, obvious beauty's the worst.
You know, when it's right there|in your face.
Me, I like to have to work|to find someone attractive.
Makes me feel like I earned it.
Looks like Joey's doing all right|with her.
Yeah. Hey, that was nice of you guys|to back off...
...and let Joey get the girl for once.
- I'm gonna take her to the apartment.|- Okay. I'll be home right after work.
- Okay.|- Okay, bye, Emma.
I love you.
- Bye.|- Bye.
They've elected me to talk to you|about the baby talk.
It's not so good.
I think it's sweet.
Bye, Emma!
Hey, listen, Joey. About Molly, I would|really prefer if you didn't go after her.
- Why not?|- It took months to find a good nanny.
And I wouldn't want anything to,|you know, drive her away.
So you think I'm just|gonna sleep with her...
...and never call her again, and|things are gonna get uncomfortable?
Yeah, that sounds about right.
Come on, there are plenty|of other women out there.
Just forget about her, okay?|She's off-limits.
Oh, man! What'd you have to go|and say that for?
Now that you told me I can't have her,|makes me want her even more!
- What are you, a child?|- Yes!
Look, Joey, come on now.|For me, please.
Just try to focus your sexual energy|on someone else.
Fine.
Take me home.
- Hey, Mikey.|- Hey, Pheeb.
- What are you doing?|- Setting rattraps.
- To kill Bob?|- No. No, to test his neck strength.
No, I don't want to kill him.|I thought we were gonna capture him...
...and, you know, set him free|in the countryside...
...where he could meet|a friendly possum...
...and a wisecracking owl.
- Okay, okay. I'll throw away the traps.|- All right, I'll find Bob. I'll get him.
Bob? Bob?
Robert?
Wait, I think I hear him.
Oh, my God! Bob had babies!|Bob's a mom!
We'll have to think of a new name.
I don't know,|I kind of like "Bob" for a girl.
No, no. I mean, I'm not sure that we...
Oh, my God. We killed Bob?
Well, maybe it wasn't Bob.|Maybe it was a mouse.
Susie?
What's up?
Seriously, dude. Three years ago.
Listen, can you do me a favor?|I'm gonna be out today.
Can you keep an eye on Joey...
...make sure nothing happens|between him and Molly?
- You don't trust him?|- Well, no.
Some woman who sounded|a lot like Joey called earlier...
...and asked for her daughter,|the "hot nanny."
Is this your long-term plan,|for me to run interference?
Because I could get a job any day now.
You do appear right on the cusp|of something.
Look, come on, man. I'm sure|he'll lose interest in a week or two...
...but for now, could you please|just do this for me?
Fine, but don't blame me|if it doesn't work.
Because you know once Joey|sets his mind on something...
...more often than not,|he's going to have sex with it.
Well, I mean,|we've gotta do something. Okay?
Nannies like her don't grow on trees.
- Picturing that tree?|- I am, yes.
Where you going, Joe?
For a walk.
You mind if I join you?
Actually, I'd rather be alone. You know,|I really need to organize my thoughts.
Your thoughts?
Plural?
All right, fine.|I only have one thought.
It's about the hot nanny!|I gotta see her!
- I'm afraid I can't let you do that, Joe.|- Now you're saying I can't see her?
You're killing me! She's forbidden fruit!|It's like, like...
...like she's the princess|and I'm the stable boy.
Why are you doing this, huh?
Did Ross tell you not to let me|go over there?
Yes, as a matter of fact, he did.|So I can't let you go.
Interesting. Now there are obstacles.
Hot nanny and me against the world!
This is the stuff great novels|are made of.
- Great novels?|- Fine. Mediocre porn.
- Gavin Mitchell's office.|- Rachel Greene's office.
Give me that phone.
Hello, this is Rachel Greene.|How can I help you?
Okay then.|I'll pass you back to your son.
Hey, Mom.|No, that's just my secretary.
Excuse me, Gavin.|I have a question I need to ask you.
Mom, I'll call you later. Yeah.
- Yes?|- Lf you like looking at butts so much...
...why don't you just go|look in a mirror?
Thank God you finally said that.
I saw you make a note on your pad|three hours ago.
- Man, I really bug you. Don't I?|- Oh, no. Please...
...I don't care about you|enough to bug me.
In fact, from now on,|I'm going to take the high road...
...and I'm going to be very, very nice|to you, you mama's boy...
...starting right now.
- Hey, Rach.|- Hi.
- Ready for your birthday lunch?|- I am.
But first, Monica,|I would like to introduce you...
...to my very talented colleague|and more importantly...
...my wonderful friend, Gavin Mitchell.
- Pleased to meet you.|- Pleased to meet you.
Are you coming to Rachel's party?
Oh, no, no, no, no. Gavin can't.|He already has plans...
...most likely with his mother.
I don't mind. I'll cancel them. I would|never miss my secretary's birthday.
Why did you invite him?|I can't stand that guy!
- You were being so nice to him.|- I was faking it.
Can't you tell when I'm being fake?
Hey, Mr. Phillips. Nice suit.
Right there.|That was so fake!
I still can't believe you invited Gavin.
He is just the last person|I want to see.
You're welcome for the party.|I'm glad you're having a good time.
I hope he doesn't show up.|Of course he won't, the guy hates me.
- Does he?|- What?
Maybe he keeps bothering you|so much because he likes you.
It's like in first grade|when Skippy Lange would push me...
...because he secretly|had a crush on me.
Monica, you think Skippy liked you?
Honey, all those boys had a bet|to see if he could knock you over.
- She's out. I'm gonna take her home.|- Okay. Thank you.
Bye, sweetheart.
Do you see what all the guys|see in her?
Wouldn't kick her out of bed.
No more vodka for me.
Hey, Rach. So can I sing|"Happy Birthday" to you now?
- Yeah, sure.|- All right.
See you later.
Hey, Rach. Somebody got you shoes.
Give me!
- Wow. Wow. Oh, my God!|- Careful! Careful!
These are my rat babies!
Yeah. We have rat babies now.
You brought rats|to my birthday party?
So this is what a stroke feels like.
Well, I had to bring them.|We killed their mother.
They're our responsibility now.
You know, they require constant care.|You should know that, you're a mother.
Are you comparing my daughter|to a rat?
No. Seven rats.
We should take them home.|We need to feed them.
You're gonna leave my party|to take care of a box of rats?
Well, I'm sorry, Rachel,|but I'm not like you. Okay?
Not everyone can afford help.
Hey, where the hell|are Joey and Molly?
I asked you to watch them.
I'm sorry. I got a little preoccupied.
Look, we have to stop them|before something happens.
Right behind you, big guy.
So you see, Molly,|what people don't understand...
...is that acting is a discipline.|It takes a lot of hard work.
- So where'd you study?|- I didn't go to college.
- No, where'd you study acting?|- Molly, people don't study acting.
Molly, do you mind giving us|just a minute?
- Sure. I'll go check on Emma.|- Thanks.
Will the stable boy|never get the princess?
What do you think you were gonna do,|have sex with her here on my couch?
No. The leather sticks to my ass.
This isn't fair. What makes you think|I'm gonna sleep with her...
...and then blow her off, huh?
Can't you guys open your minds to|the possibility that I actually like her...
...and might want something real?
Look, the truth is, I haven't felt|this way about anyone since Rachel.
Okay?|I didn't think I could ever love again.
- Come on!|- Joe!
Hi. Is Molly here?
Yeah, yeah. Come on in. Molly?
- Hey. Guys, this is Tabitha.|- Hey.
- I'll see you tomorrow.|- Okay.
Well, Joey, I guess|we have no problem.
It's like my favorite fairy tale|come true.
The princess, the stable boy|and the lesbian.
Okay. Okay,|you start preparing the formula...
...and I'll start changing the box.
And then we gotta put them|straight to bed.
When did we become|one of those couples...
...whose lives revolve around|their rats?
Well, you know what?|They're our responsibility now.
Okay, fine.|These rats are our responsibility.
What happens when they mate|and there are hundreds?
Mate? They're all brothers and sisters.
Yeah, not such a problem with rats.
No, they're more of a "love the one|you're with" kind of animal.
No. Really?
Oh, my... Get off your sister!
Oh, my God. What are we gonna do?
The... We have seven rats.
So, what if each of them|has seven rats...
...and then each of those|has seven rats? That's like...
That's math I can't even do!
What are we gonna do?
Well, I know this is gonna|sound crazy...
...but we could|not let the box of rats ruin our lives.
Yeah, okay. I guess you're right.
All right, so we should just|give them away.
But to nice families with children|and reduced-fat Wheat Thins.
Those were Bob's favorites.
It's gonna be okay.
- You must think I'm crazy.|- No, I think you're sweet.
Good. This is just so hard.|It's hard for me to let them go.
I guess it just brings back memories,|you know...
...from when I gave birth to my brother's|triplets and I had to give them up.
I haven't told you about that yet,|have I?
Thanks for the party, honey.|Should I help you clean up?
No way. You had your party.|Now I have mine.
- Is everything all right?|- I just get bummed...
...when my birthday's over.
Well, at least you have one thing|to be happy about.
That jerk, Gavin, from your office|didn't show up.
Yeah, I hate him.
We weren't talking about you.|We were...
No. No way to recover. No. Okay.
- Fun party.|- Well, it was.
And you would have seen it|if you didn't show up at...
9:30?! God! This party was lame.
Again, you're welcome!
- Look, I'll just give you this and go.|- You bought me a present. Why?
Let me explain how birthday parties|usually work. There are presents...
...and a cake,|perhaps a fourth or fifth person.
Okay, I...
I got you the present to make up|for being such a jerk to you.
Well, okay. Well, that's very nice.|And you wrote a card.
- "From Gavin."|- I really mean it.
It's beautiful.
If you don't mind...?|Let me.
Well, what do you know, it fits.
See, Gavin. You're capable of being|a nice guy.
Why do you give me such a hard time?
I'm not sure.
Well, Monica seems to think|it's because you have feelings for me.
I do have feelings for you.
- You do?|- Yes. I feel that you're a little annoying.
See, why? Gavin, why?
Right when I'm about to change|my opinion of you, you go and you...
And you do that.
Hey. Listen, I think I left something|here.
Well, somebody left this.|Is this yours?
No, but I like it.
No, I think I left one of my rat babies.
Well, no. I haven't seen it,|but if I do, I'll let you know.
Rat baby! Rat baby! Rat baby!|Rat baby!
Maybe that's him.
[ENGLISH]
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4x05 - The One With Joeys New Girlfriend Friends - 4x06 - The One With the Dirty Girl Friends - 4x07 - The One Where Chandler Crosses Friends - 4x08 - The One With Chandler in a Box Friends - 4x09 - The One Where They are Going Friends - 4x10 - The One With the Girl from Friends - 4x11 - The One With Phoebes Uterus Friends - 4x12 - The One With the Embryos Friends - 4x13 - The One With Rachels Crush Friends - 4x14 - The One With Joeys Dirty Day Friends - 4x15 - The One With All the Rugby Friends - 4x16 - The One With the Fake Party Friends - 4x17 - The One With the Free Porn Friends - 4x18 - The One With Rachels New Dress Friends - 4x19 - The One With All the Haste Friends - 4x20 - The One With All the Wedding Dresses Friends - 4x21 - The One With the Invitation Friends - 4x22 - The One With the Worst Best Man Ever Friends - 4x23 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 1 Friends - 4x24 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 2 Friends - 5x01 - The One After Ross Says Rachel Friends - 5x02 - The One With All the Kissing Friends - 5x03 - The One Hundreth Friends - 5x04 - The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS Friends - 5x05 - The One With the Kips Friends - 5x06 - The One With the Yeti Friends - 5x07 - The One Where Ross Moves In Friends - 5x08 - The One With All the Thanksgivins Friends - 5x09 - The One With Rosss Sandwich Friends - 5x10 - The One With the Inappropiate Sister Friends - 5x11 - The One With All the Resolutions Friends - 5x12 - The One With Chandlers Work Laugh Friends - 5x13 - The One With Joeys Bag Friends - 5x14 - The One Where Everyone Finds Out Friends - 5x15 - The One With the Girl Who Hits Joey Friends - 5x16 - The One With the Cop Friends - 5x17 - The One With Rachels Friends - 5x18 - The One Where Rachel Smokes Friends - 5x19 - The One Where Ross Cant Flirt Friends - 5x20 - The One With the Ride-Along Friends - 5x21 - The One With the Ball Friends - 5x22 - The One With Joeys Big Break Friends - 5x23 - The One in Vegas Friends - 6x01 - The One After Vegas Friends - 6x02 - The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel Friends - 6x03 - The One With Rosss Denial Friends - 6x04 - The One Where Joey Loses His Friends - 6x05 - The One With Joeys Porsche Friends - 6x06 - The One On the Last Night Friends - 6x07 - The One Where Phoebe Runs Friends - 6x08 - The One With Rosss Teeth Friends - 6x15 Friends 7x01 - The One with Monicas Thunder Friends 7x02 - The One With Rachels Book Friends 7x03 - The One With Phoebes Cookies Friends 7x04 - The One With Rachels Assistant Friends 7x05 - The One With The Engagement Picture Friends 7x06 - The One With The Nap Partners Friends 7x07 - The One with Rosss Library Book Friends 7x08 - The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs Friends 7x09 - The One With All the Candy Friends 7x10 - The One With The Holiday Armadillo Friends 7x11 - The One With All The Cheesecakes Friends 7x12 - The One Where They are Up All Night Friends 7x13 - The One Where Rosita Dies Friends 7x14 - The One Where They All Turn Thirty Friends 7x15 - The One With Joeys New Brain Friends 7x16 - The One With the Truth About London Friends 7x17 - The One With the Cheap Wedding Dress Friends 7x18 - The One With Joeys Award Friends 7x19 - The One With Ross and Monicas Cousin Friends 7x20 - The One With Rachels Kisses Friends 7x21 - The One With the Vows Friends 7x22 - The One With Chandlers Dad Friends 7x23 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 1 Friends 7x24 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 2 Friends 9x01 - The One Where No One Proposes Friends 9x02 - The One Where Emma Cries Friends 9x03 - The One With The Pediatrician Friends 9x04 - The One With The Sharks Friends 9x05 - The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner Friends 9x06 - The One With The Male Nanny Friends 9x07 - The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song Friends 9x08 - The One With Rachels Other Sister Friends 9x09 - The One With Rachels Phone Number Friends 9x10 - The One With Christmas In Tulsa Friends 9x11 - The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work Friends 9x12 - The One With Phoebes Rats Friends 9x13 - The One Where Monica Sings Friends 9x14 - The One With The Blind Dates Friends 9x15 - The One With The Mugging Friends 9x16 - The One With The Boob Job Friends 9x17 - The One With The Memorial Service Friends 9x18 - The One With The Lottery Friends 9x19 - The One With Rachels Dream Friends 9x20 - The One With The Soap Opera Party Friends 9x21 - The One With The Fertility Test Friends 9x22 - The One With The Donor Friends 9x23-24 - The One In Barbados 1 2) Frisson des vampires Le From Beijing with love From Dusk Till Dawn From Dusk Till Dawn 3 The Hangmans Daughter From Hell From Justin To Kelly (Special Edition) Frontera La Frusta e il corpo La Fucking Amal Fudoh The New Generation 1996 Fugitive The - The Chase Continues Fugitives (2000) Fukssvansen (Chop Chop) Full Frontal 2002 Full Metal Jacket Full Time Killer Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD1 Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD2 Fun in Acapulco (Richard Thorpe 1963) Funeral Parade of Roses Funeral in Berlin Funny Girl Fuochi dArtifizio Furia (2002) Fury The (1978) Futurama 1x01 - Space Pilot 3000 Futurama 1x02 - The Series Has Landed Futurama 1x03 - I Roommate Futurama 1x04 - Loves Labors Lost in Space Futurama 1x05 - Fear of a Bot Planet Futurama 1x06 - A Fishful of Dollars Futurama 1x07 - My Three Suns Futurama 1x08 - A Big Piece of Garbage Futurama 1x09 - Hell is Other Robots Futurama 2x01 - A Flight to Remember Futurama 2x02 - Mars University Futurama 2x03 - When Aliens Attack Futurama 2x04 - Fry and the Slurm Factory Futurama 3x01 - Amazon Women in the Mood Futurama 3x02 - Parasites Lost Futurama 3x03 - A Tale of Two Santas Futurama 3x04 - The Luck of the Fryrish Futurama 3x05 - The Birdbot of Ice-catraz Futurama 3x06 - Bendless Love Futurama 3x07 - The Day the Earth Stood Stupid Futurama 3x08 - Thats Lobstertainment Futurama 3x09 - The Cyber House Rules Futurama 3x10 - Insane in the Mainframe Futurama 3x10 - Where The Buggalo Roam Futurama 3x12 - The Route of All Evil Futurama 3x13 - Bendin in the Wind Futurama 3x14 - Time Keeps on Slippin Futurama 3x15 - I Dated a Robot Futurama 3x16 - A Leela of Her Own Futurama 3x17 - A Pharaoh To Remember Futurama 3x18 - Anthology of Interest Part 2 Futurama 3x19 - Roswell That Ends Well Futurama 3x20 - Godfellas Futurama 3x21 - Future Stock Futurama 3x22 - The 30 Iron Chef Futurama 4x01 - Kif Gets Knocked Up a Notch Futurama 4x02 - Leelas Homeworld Futurama 4x03 - Love and Rocket Futurama 4x04 - Less Than Hero Futurama 4x05 - A Taste of Freedom Futurama 4x06 - Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV Futurama 4x07 - Jurassic Bark Futurama 4x08 - Crimes of the Hot Futurama 4x09 - Teenage Mutant Leelas Hurdles Futurama 4x10 - The Why of Fry Futurama 4x11 - Where no Fan Has Gone Before Futurama 4x12 - The Sting Futurama 4x13 - Bend Her Futurama 4x14 - Obsoletely Fabulous Futurama 4x15 - The Farnsworth Parabox Futurama 4x16 - Three Hundred Big Boys Futurama 4x17 - Spanish Fry Futurama 4x18 - The Devils Hands are Idle Playthings Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD1 Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD2
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