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Friends - 6x05 - The One With Joeys Porsche

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I deliver perfection...|and don't brag about it! :D
I cannot believe that you didn't|tell me we are still married!
Look, I was going to tell you.
When? After the birth|of our first secret child?
Ross didn't get the annulment.|We are still married!
- You're kidding?|- Oh, my God!
It wasn't my best decision, but I|couldn't face another failed marriage.
At what point did you think|this was a successful marriage?
Rach, come on. If you think about it,|it's actually kind of funny.
Maybe it's best not to think about it.
This is inexcusable.|I'm shocked to my very core.
Phoebe, I told her you already knew.
Another lie. You have a sickness!
For my own peace of mind,|are you married to any more of us?
The One With Joey's Porshe
English Subtitles by|Gelula/SDI
Someone left their keys.
To a Porsche.
- Are these yours?|- Yeah. That's what I drive.
I make 4 bucks an hour.|I saved up for 350 years.
Did anybody lose their keys?
Put them in the lost and found.
There's a lost and found?
My shoe!
You left a shoe here?
I didn't realize till I got home.|I wasn't gonna walk back with one shoe.
I'll go find that guy's car|and leave a note on the windshield.
When he comes back for his keys,|I'll give him your shoe.
Great. Thanks.
Oh, good. You guys are here.|Listen.
How would you like to spend tomorrow|taking care of three cute puppies?
My, God! What a fun day!|Sounds great!
Yeah, all right.
I'll bring them by tomorrow morning.
By the way, they're not|actually puppies.
They're Frank and Alice's triplets.|See you.
Please, please, please?|Frank and Alice...
...asked me to babysit them.|I'm nervous. I've never done that.
Don't worry. We'll do it.
I'm gonna pass, because I was|kind of iffy when it was puppies.
Come on, Chandler. It'll give us|great practice for when...
...people with babies come to visit.
Nice car.
It's not mine.
- I love your car.|- Yeah. It's mine.
- I bet it's fast.|- Me too. Yeah.
And comfortable.
- You like leather seats?|- Yeah.
It's got them!
So I still have boxes here.
I still have boxes at Ross'.
And I have nowhere to live.
I could so easily freak out right now.
What about me? Denise is leaving town|for a while. I don't have a roommate.
Well, maybe I could be|your roommate, Pheebs.
Maybe you could be my roommate!
Well, there's an idea!
That would be great!
- How long is Denise gone for?|- She said she'd be back December 26th.
December 26th.
Maybe she's Santa Claus.
Oh, look who it is.|My husband, the apple of my eye.
Okay, I got us a court date|for tomorrow at 2...
...and I picked up all the forms.
I'll take care of it.
Sure, if you say you'll take care|of it, I have no reason to doubt you.
Give me those forms.
I'm gonna do this my way, and I|don't wanna hear a peep out of you.
- Okay, Rach, but...|- You're peeping!
Ross, I just got...
- Why did you do this?|- I told you...
I don't wanna hear|"three failed marriages".
If you'd had two failed marriages,|you'd understand.
Thanks to you, I'm halfway there.
Oh, I am so mad, Ross! I don't think|I've ever been this angry!
What about when I said|we were on a break?
Pheebs, how's it going?
I'm okay. Are they having fun?|Am I talking too fast?
No. You sound like me.
It's going great. Look at Chandler|with Little Baby Girl Chandler.
Little Baby Girl Chandler. Where have|I heard that before? Oh, Coach Rubin.
Pheebs, when you're done over there,|we've got a situation over here too.
No. We are all responsible|for our own babies.
That's where you're wrong.|We've been playing them man-to-man.
We should really be playing|a zone defense.
What do you mean?
Things'll go smoother if we each have a|zone. Phoebe, be in charge of wiping.
Mon, be in charge of diapering.
I'll be in charge of looking at how cute|they are when they put their hands...
Sounds great, but you should be|in charge of wiping.
Okay, I'm a rookie.|I should not be in the end zone.
This is so great. This is exactly how|we set the plates at the restaurant.
Yeah? Well, this is not|what I ordered.
Hey, guys.
Hey, babies.
I'm having the best morning.
That Porsche I've got the keys to?|Still there.
Shocking, since you|still have the keys.
You should see the treatment I get|with that car.
People are friendly. They wanna talk.|And not just about the car.
One guy advised me|on my equity investments.
What equity investments?
The ones that got me the Porsche.|Will you keep up?
If people see me just standing there,|they're gonna think I don't own it.
So I figure I'll wash it.|Monica, you got a bucket and soap?
Oh, yeah. I got soap|and sponges and rags...
...and carnauba wax|and polishing compound.
You don't even have a car.
I know. Once there was a dirty car in|front of the building, so I washed it.
- And?|- And six others.
There you are.
Yeah, she tops out at 130.
That's just in the city.|I get her up to 160 upstate.
Really? You got a place upstate?
- All right. See you later.|- Okay. Take it easy.
Hey. That's my car.
Just give me five more minutes.
What are you doing?
I found the keys, and now|I'm just polishing her up.
- But it's my car.|- Yeah, but it's my wax.
Listen, I don't come to the city much.
I don't know if you're crazy or|if this is some street theater...
...but could I have my keys?
Sure. Yeah.|I'll save your parking spot.
I'm not coming back.
- Why not?|- I live upstate.
Yeah, so did I.
I don't know why I was so nervous...
...and why Frank and Alice complain.|This is easy.
Yeah, two hours, a lifetime,|that's the same.
Check it out!|When the babies wake up...
...they can meet Krog!
That thing could put|someone's eye out.
He can do more than that.|He can destroy the universe.
They could swallow|one of those little parts.
Also, look at his smooth area.|That's just gonna mess them up.
They won't swallow anything.|You're too overprotective.
When I was a kid, my mom used to throw|me into a pile of broken glass.
- What?|- Glass, sand, whatever.
Look at little Leslie stretching|in her sleep.
Oh, it's so cute.
I wonder when you stop putting|both legs behind your head.
I can still do that.
How are you still single?
I thought about it, and maybe you're|right. Maybe Krog is not a safe toy.
- What made you change your mind?|- I swallowed his sonic blaster gun.
How did that happen?
I was trying to prove|that I was right.
And it turns out I was wrong...
...and now it's lodged in my throat.
This whole time we were|concentrating on the babies...
...and no one was watching Chandler!
You are asking the court|for an annulment?
Yes, Your Honor. Here are|our forms, all filled out.
So based on your petition... are seeking an annulment|on the grounds...
...that "Mr. Geller|is mentally unstable."
Fine. I'm mentally unstable.
And based on the fact that "Mr. Geller|is an intravenous drug user."
- What?|- Yes. Heroin and crack.
Crack isn't even an intravenous drug.
Well, you would know.
Now, it also says here that you...
..."lied about your sexual preference|before marriage".
Oh, come on.
Ross, please. I found the magazines.
And, finally, that you were|"unable to consummate the marriage".
Well, that makes sense since|you're gay and addicted to heroin.
You know, I'm sorry, this is insane.
I'm not addicted to heroin,|I'm not gay, and there is no problem...
...with my ability|to consummate anything.
I'll consummate this marriage|right here, right now!
That won't be necessary.
And when we were dating,|we consummated like bunnies.
If you were involved in a serious|relationship, that creates a problem.
Rest assured, that relationship|ended two years ago.
Strike "consummated like bunnies"|from the record.
Is there anything in this record|that is actually true?
Well, yes. We got married in Vegas.
And the names, I think.
Based on what I've heard, you certainly|don't qualify for an annulment.
If you don't wanna be together,|file for divorce.
That's great. You happy? Look what|you did with your funny, funny form.
What? Me? What about you and your|"consummated like bunnies" nonsense?
And what...
What are you typing that for?|She said we don't get the annulment.
Don't type that. What...
Stop typing!
Stop typing!
"Stop typing, stop typing!"
Okay, do you see what you're|keeping me married to?
Get out of my chambers.
Lady, here's the deal.
I came here for an annulment, and|I'm not leaving here until I get one!
- Would you like a night in jail?|- Thank you for your time.
That Porsche guy took his car back.
But you found the keys to his clothes?
No, I just love the way it feels|when everybody thinks I own a Porsche.
They'll think you own one|because of the clothes?
Of course.
Only an idiot would wear this stuff|if he didn't have the car.
That is true.
Yeah, but only a genius would|swallow a sonic blaster gun.
Oh, I've been there.
I am gonna go drive my Porsche.
You know you don't actually have one.
What are you doing? I'm in character.|Will you talk to her?
I think it just moved.|It's poking me.
We'll go to the emergency room.
No, you can't leave me here with them.|We're babysitting.
The babies are asleep.|You'll be okay on your own.
You can't leave me with them.|We're a team.
We're playing a zone.|They'll triple-team me!
He's got plastic in his throat.|We gotta go to the hospital.
But a doctor won't be able to help him.|And it's just gonna...
...naturally pass through|his system in seven years.
- I think that's gum.|- I'm pretty sure it's gun.
This really hurts. Let's go.
But no! A real man wouldn't|just run to the hospital.
No! What would Krog do?
Why isn't that valet back|with my Porsche?
Maybe because you've got the keys?
- That was totally your fault.|- My fault? You threatened the judge.
You ripped the paper out|of the court reporter's machine!
That was the only way I could|get him to stop typing!
Hi. How are the Gellers?
Don't call us that.
The judge wouldn't let us get an|annulment. Now we gotta get a divorce!
Did a Porsche throw up on you?
It's "Porsche-a"!
Me taking care of you|is no problem, huh?
You guys feel safe, right?
I'm gonna take that spit bubble|as a "Yeah, I do!"
Let's get rid of this dirty diaper.|I'll set you up with a clean one.
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you.|I just have to clean that up.
Because, let's face it,|we're at Monica's.
I broke it. All right.|Well, that's just the way things go.
Okay. Good.
Why are there only two of you?
Where's Leslie?
Well, you can't answer.|Leslie? Where are you, Leslie?
Now would be a good time|for your first words.
Well, look at you!
You are a little bit mischievous.|My gosh!
Oh, you're a lot mischievous.
Well, it'll dry.
You sit with your brother|and sister now...
...who aren't there.
How do you feel?
Let's just say, Krog will be equipped|to destroy the universe again... 12 to 14 hours.
I totally took care of the babies|all by myself.
I fed them, bathed them|and put them to bed.
And protected them from a tornado?
Oh, my God!
I know. The babies are asleep.
Phoebe, what happened here?
I did it. I took care|of the babies all by myself.
- But my apartment!|- Was the setting of Phoebe's triumph.
But the mess!
Is not as important as the fact|that Phoebe took care of the babies.
You're right. I shouldn't freak out.
This is what it'll be like|when we have babies. When's that?
Phoebe, look at this mess!
Honey, thank God you're home.|I was getting worried.
I picked up the divorce papers.
I've already signed everything.|I put little X's where you need to sign.
Little X's. Great!|That makes up for everything.
You know, you've done|a lot of stupid stuff too, okay?
Name one stupid thing that is|as stupid as this one.
How about you flew to London|to stop my wedding?
You told me you loved me|after I was married.
Wait, that was different. I did those|things because I was in love with you.
You're right. That's very different.
So let's just sign the papers.
Okay, can we just sign, please?
Okay, wait, Ross. Wait a minute.
I kind of have a little confession.
Well, you know,|this whole marriage thing.
Kind of my idea.
Excuse me?
Remember how we were too drunk to|remember anything when we were married?
I didn't really wanna say anything,|but it just kept coming back to me.
We were in the casino, and you thought|it'd be funny to eat a lot of grapes.
And I thought it would be funnier|if we got married.
So, as a compromise, we decided|first to get married and then... eat a lot of grapes.
Sorry I got us into this whole thing.
So then if you think about it...
...this is all your fault.
Yeah, don't push it, though.
I gotta say...
...I know I divorce a lot of women.
Never thought I'd be divorcing you.
I know.
I always thought if we got married,|that'd be the one that stuck.
And it wouldn't be a secret...
...and we wouldn't have our|wedding dinner at Pizza Hut.
Did I even treat?
No, it was on the house.|It was a newlywed special.
That may be the most depressing thing|I've heard.
I should get these|to my lawyer's office.
Thanks for taking care of all this.
No problem.
- I'm gonna need a copy of those.|- Totally.
Careful around my Porsche!
Hi, Joey.
Hey. How you doing?
He has the most amazing Porsche|under there.
I'd show you, but I just tucked|her in. She's sleeping.
Would you like to go for a drink?
Face 2004
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Friends - 3x14 - The One With Phoebes Ex-Partner
Friends - 3x15 - The One Where Ross and Rachel Take
Friends - 3x16 - The One the Morning After
Friends - 3x17 - The One Without the Ski Trip
Friends - 3x18 - The One With the Hypnosis Tape
Friends - 3x19 - The One With the Tiny T-Shirt
Friends - 3x20 - The One With the Dollhouse
Friends - 3x21 - The One With a Chick and a Duck
Friends - 3x22 - The One With the Screamer
Friends - 3x23 - The One With Rosss Thing
Friends - 3x24 - The One With Ultimate Fighting Champ
Friends - 3x25 - The One at the Beach
Friends - 4x01 - The One With the Jellyfish
Friends - 4x02 - The One With the Cat
Friends - 4x03 - The One With the Cuffs
Friends - 4x04 - The One With the Ballroom Dancing
Friends - 4x05 - The One With Joeys New Girlfriend
Friends - 4x06 - The One With the Dirty Girl
Friends - 4x07 - The One Where Chandler Crosses
Friends - 4x08 - The One With Chandler in a Box
Friends - 4x09 - The One Where They are Going
Friends - 4x10 - The One With the Girl from
Friends - 4x11 - The One With Phoebes Uterus
Friends - 4x12 - The One With the Embryos
Friends - 4x13 - The One With Rachels Crush
Friends - 4x14 - The One With Joeys Dirty Day
Friends - 4x15 - The One With All the Rugby
Friends - 4x16 - The One With the Fake Party
Friends - 4x17 - The One With the Free Porn
Friends - 4x18 - The One With Rachels New Dress
Friends - 4x19 - The One With All the Haste
Friends - 4x20 - The One With All the Wedding Dresses
Friends - 4x21 - The One With the Invitation
Friends - 4x22 - The One With the Worst Best Man Ever
Friends - 4x23 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 1
Friends - 4x24 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 2
Friends - 5x01 - The One After Ross Says Rachel
Friends - 5x02 - The One With All the Kissing
Friends - 5x03 - The One Hundreth
Friends - 5x04 - The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS
Friends - 5x05 - The One With the Kips
Friends - 5x06 - The One With the Yeti
Friends - 5x07 - The One Where Ross Moves In
Friends - 5x08 - The One With All the Thanksgivins
Friends - 5x09 - The One With Rosss Sandwich
Friends - 5x10 - The One With the Inappropiate Sister
Friends - 5x11 - The One With All the Resolutions
Friends - 5x12 - The One With Chandlers Work Laugh
Friends - 5x13 - The One With Joeys Bag
Friends - 5x14 - The One Where Everyone Finds Out
Friends - 5x15 - The One With the Girl Who Hits Joey
Friends - 5x16 - The One With the Cop
Friends - 5x17 - The One With Rachels
Friends - 5x18 - The One Where Rachel Smokes
Friends - 5x19 - The One Where Ross Cant Flirt
Friends - 5x20 - The One With the Ride-Along
Friends - 5x21 - The One With the Ball
Friends - 5x22 - The One With Joeys Big Break
Friends - 5x23 - The One in Vegas
Friends - 6x01 - The One After Vegas
Friends - 6x02 - The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel
Friends - 6x03 - The One With Rosss Denial
Friends - 6x04 - The One Where Joey Loses His
Friends - 6x05 - The One With Joeys Porsche
Friends - 6x06 - The One On the Last Night
Friends - 6x07 - The One Where Phoebe Runs
Friends - 6x08 - The One With Rosss Teeth
Friends - 6x15
Friends 7x01 - The One with Monicas Thunder
Friends 7x02 - The One With Rachels Book
Friends 7x03 - The One With Phoebes Cookies
Friends 7x04 - The One With Rachels Assistant
Friends 7x05 - The One With The Engagement Picture
Friends 7x06 - The One With The Nap Partners
Friends 7x07 - The One with Rosss Library Book
Friends 7x08 - The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs
Friends 7x09 - The One With All the Candy
Friends 7x10 - The One With The Holiday Armadillo
Friends 7x11 - The One With All The Cheesecakes
Friends 7x12 - The One Where They are Up All Night
Friends 7x13 - The One Where Rosita Dies
Friends 7x14 - The One Where They All Turn Thirty
Friends 7x15 - The One With Joeys New Brain
Friends 7x16 - The One With the Truth About London
Friends 7x17 - The One With the Cheap Wedding Dress
Friends 7x18 - The One With Joeys Award
Friends 7x19 - The One With Ross and Monicas Cousin
Friends 7x20 - The One With Rachels Kisses
Friends 7x21 - The One With the Vows
Friends 7x22 - The One With Chandlers Dad
Friends 7x23 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 1
Friends 7x24 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 2
Friends 9x01 - The One Where No One Proposes
Friends 9x02 - The One Where Emma Cries
Friends 9x03 - The One With The Pediatrician
Friends 9x04 - The One With The Sharks
Friends 9x05 - The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner
Friends 9x06 - The One With The Male Nanny
Friends 9x07 - The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song
Friends 9x08 - The One With Rachels Other Sister
Friends 9x09 - The One With Rachels Phone Number
Friends 9x10 - The One With Christmas In Tulsa
Friends 9x11 - The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work
Friends 9x12 - The One With Phoebes Rats
Friends 9x13 - The One Where Monica Sings
Friends 9x14 - The One With The Blind Dates
Friends 9x15 - The One With The Mugging
Friends 9x16 - The One With The Boob Job
Friends 9x17 - The One With The Memorial Service
Friends 9x18 - The One With The Lottery
Friends 9x19 - The One With Rachels Dream
Friends 9x20 - The One With The Soap Opera Party
Friends 9x21 - The One With The Fertility Test
Friends 9x22 - The One With The Donor
Friends 9x23-24 - The One In Barbados 1 2)
Frisson des vampires Le
From Beijing with love
From Dusk Till Dawn
From Dusk Till Dawn 3 The Hangmans Daughter
From Hell
From Justin To Kelly (Special Edition)
Frontera La
Frusta e il corpo La
Fucking Amal
Fudoh The New Generation 1996
Fugitive The - The Chase Continues
Fugitives (2000)
Fukssvansen (Chop Chop)
Full Frontal 2002
Full Metal Jacket
Full Time Killer
Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD1
Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD2
Fun in Acapulco (Richard Thorpe 1963)
Funeral Parade of Roses
Funeral in Berlin
Funny Girl
Fuochi dArtifizio
Furia (2002)
Fury The (1978)
Futurama 1x01 - Space Pilot 3000
Futurama 1x02 - The Series Has Landed
Futurama 1x03 - I Roommate
Futurama 1x04 - Loves Labors Lost in Space
Futurama 1x05 - Fear of a Bot Planet
Futurama 1x06 - A Fishful of Dollars
Futurama 1x07 - My Three Suns
Futurama 1x08 - A Big Piece of Garbage
Futurama 1x09 - Hell is Other Robots
Futurama 2x01 - A Flight to Remember
Futurama 2x02 - Mars University
Futurama 2x03 - When Aliens Attack
Futurama 2x04 - Fry and the Slurm Factory
Futurama 3x01 - Amazon Women in the Mood
Futurama 3x02 - Parasites Lost
Futurama 3x03 - A Tale of Two Santas
Futurama 3x04 - The Luck of the Fryrish
Futurama 3x05 - The Birdbot of Ice-catraz
Futurama 3x06 - Bendless Love
Futurama 3x07 - The Day the Earth Stood Stupid
Futurama 3x08 - Thats Lobstertainment
Futurama 3x09 - The Cyber House Rules
Futurama 3x10 - Insane in the Mainframe
Futurama 3x10 - Where The Buggalo Roam
Futurama 3x12 - The Route of All Evil
Futurama 3x13 - Bendin in the Wind
Futurama 3x14 - Time Keeps on Slippin
Futurama 3x15 - I Dated a Robot
Futurama 3x16 - A Leela of Her Own
Futurama 3x17 - A Pharaoh To Remember
Futurama 3x18 - Anthology of Interest Part 2
Futurama 3x19 - Roswell That Ends Well
Futurama 3x20 - Godfellas
Futurama 3x21 - Future Stock
Futurama 3x22 - The 30 Iron Chef
Futurama 4x01 - Kif Gets Knocked Up a Notch
Futurama 4x02 - Leelas Homeworld
Futurama 4x03 - Love and Rocket
Futurama 4x04 - Less Than Hero
Futurama 4x05 - A Taste of Freedom
Futurama 4x06 - Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV
Futurama 4x07 - Jurassic Bark
Futurama 4x08 - Crimes of the Hot
Futurama 4x09 - Teenage Mutant Leelas Hurdles
Futurama 4x10 - The Why of Fry
Futurama 4x11 - Where no Fan Has Gone Before
Futurama 4x12 - The Sting
Futurama 4x13 - Bend Her
Futurama 4x14 - Obsoletely Fabulous
Futurama 4x15 - The Farnsworth Parabox
Futurama 4x16 - Three Hundred Big Boys
Futurama 4x17 - Spanish Fry
Futurama 4x18 - The Devils Hands are Idle Playthings
Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD1
Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD2