Friends - 4x11 - The One With Phoebes Uterus
Ripped with SubRip 1.17 and Verified by CdinT|cdint@hotmail.com
I deliver perfection...|and don't brag about it! :D
I can't believe|my little brother's married!
Why didn't you tell me|you were eloping?
Well, we were at court,|eating lunch...
Why were you at court?
Lunch.
We were like...
...we're here, we're having lunch.|Let's get married! Right?
A year ago, I didn't know I had|a brother. Now I have a sister!
Oh, it's so great.
Stop it! Don't!
I'll get you a gift now.
Is there anything you need?
We've been trying to get pregnant.|Thought we'd get a jump on things.
No one's getting any younger.
Because the thing is, we're not|able to, you know, conceive.
We've seen a bunch of doctors.
They say that our only chance|to have a baby...
...is that if they take my sperm,|her egg, put it together in a dish...
...and put it into another girl.
We were wondering|if you could be that girl.
That's a really nice gift.
I was thinking of a gravy boat.
The One with Phoebe's Uterus
English Subtitles by|GELULA & CO., INC.
Check it out!|Guess what job I just got.
I don't know, but Donald Trump|wants his blue blazer black.
Blue blazer back.|He wants it back.
You said "black". Why would he|want his blue blazer black?
Well, you know what I meant.
You messed it up.
You're stupid.
So what job'd you get?
Tour guide at the museum.|Ross got it for me.
Don't you have to be|a dinosaur expert?
They give you|all the information.
It's like memorizing a script.
On your left, tyrannosaurus rex,|from the Jurassic Period.
Very nice.
Yeah, actually, Joey,|it's the Cretaceous Period.
But I can pronounce Jurassic.
Frank Jr. And Alice got married!
Oh, my God!
They're having a baby!
They want me to grow it|for them in my uterus!
- My God!|- Are you serious?
You're thinking of|having sex with your brother?
Ew! And, oh no!
They want me to be the surrogate.
It's her egg and his sperm.|I'm the oven. It's their bun.
What did you say?
I had to think about it,|but what is there to think of?
I'll be giving someone|the greatest gift.
You'll carry their child,|and get them a Sony PlayStation?
This is an incredible thing to do.
But there are things to think about.
Yeah, you'd be pregnant.|I mean pregnant.
I know.
You'll put your body|through an awful lot.
I mean, morning sickness, labor.
It's all for somebody else.
Yeah. What's your point?
Well, the stuff I just mentioned.
I couldn't do that.
I figure, the first time I had a baby,|it'd be with someone I love.
And that baby was, you know...
...a keeper.
You were more supportive when|I wanted to make denim furniture.
If you decide to do this,|we'll be supportive like crazy.
Just think it through.
Talk to somebody who's had a baby.|Like your mom.
My mom never gave birth.|Oh! But my birth mom did!
I love this tushy!|Can I take it to work with me?
Yeah, sure. It's not mine anyway.|It came with the pants.
I am so jealous.
You guys are just right there.
Right where?
The beginning, where|it's all sex and talking...
...and sex and talking.
You got to love the talking.
And the sex?
We haven't had sex.
What's the big deal?|This is special.
I want our love to grow|before moving to the next level.
Oh, Chandler, that is so nice.
That is really nice...
...lying!
- No way is that the reason.|- Why?
You're not mature enough|to understand that!
He's right. I'm totally lying.
Then what is it?
Kathy's last boyfriend was Joey.
And you're afraid you won't|be able to fill his shoes?
I'm afraid I won't|make love as well as him.
I was going for the metaphor.
I was saying the actual words.
He's had girlfriends.|It doesn't mean he's great in bed.
We share a wall.
Either he's great, or she liked|to agree with him a lot.
It'll be different. The sex will be|great because you are in love.
Just go for it.
Yeah, you should.
All right. I'll sleep|with my girlfriend.
But I'm just doing it for you guys.
Now, the mastodon is from|the semi-late Jurassic Period.
Isn't the mastodon|from the Pliocene Epoch?
This is a museum. No talking.
Right down here we have...
...a large foot.
And over here we have Ross Geller.
Everyone wave "hi" to Ross.
Ross is one of our scientists.|Look at him hard at work.
Okay, moving right along.
Come on.
It's open. Come in.
- I'm sorry I'm late.|- That's okay.
I had time to finish|glazing my nipples.
You go all out|when you're expecting company.
I was working on my pottery.
Oh! I didn't know|that you did pot.
Mostly nudes. It combines|my two passions: Pottery and erotica.
Erottery!
Thanks for coming out to see me.
I thought it'd be a good idea to|talk about this baby stuff in person.
I don't think it's a good idea.
Why not?
You'd be giving up a baby.
And I really don't...
I don't know if anything I say...
...would make you understand the pain|of giving up a baby.
No, no, I understand the pain.|Don't hurt the puppy!
No, no. The puppy is yours.
I get a puppy?
But for only three days.
Why?
I realize I don't have any right|to start getting parenty on you now.
Look at me and not the puppy.|It's very important.
I know what I'm talking about.
I gave up two babies.
I only wish I had someone|who'd given up babies that told me...
...how terrible it is.
It'd be something you'd regret|every day for the rest of your life.
So however hard it is for you|to give up this puppy...
...it'd be a million times harder|to give up a child.
I shouldn't have given you|the puppy first.
Could you sit there? I'm saving|this seat for my friend Ross.
You mean Dr. Geller?
Doctor? I didn't know|he had a nickname.
Oh, he won't sit here.
Only people in white coats|sit there.
Only people in blue blazers|sit here.
How come?
That's how it is.
That's crazy.
It's crazy in a perfect world:|A world without lab coats and blazers.
But you not in a perfect world.|You in a museum now.
See that scientist?
He and I used to play together|in grade school, but now...
Peter! Hey, Peter!
It's me, Rhonda from P.S. 129?
I shared my pudding with you, man!
I gave you my snack pack!
See? He pretend|he don't even hear me!
Everyone's pretending|they don't hear you.
I don't know about your jackets|and separate tables...
...but Ross is my friend.
And if I save him a seat,|he will sit in it.
Here! I saved you a seat!
I'm cool here.|I'll catch up with you later.
This is saved.
Gift shop.
I'm sorry about|what happened today.
You do what you got to do.
The scientists and the tour guides|never sit together.
It's like that everywhere.|Mon, back me up.
Where you work, the waiters|eat with the waiters.
And the chefs eat|with the other chefs?
I eat by myself in the alley,|because everybody hates me.
Look, Ross.
It's no big deal.
You wear a white coat.|I wear a blue blazer.
If that means we can't be|friends at work, so be it.
I understand, you know?
When I'm in a play and you're in|the audience, I don't talk to you.
So it's, you know, it's cool.
I'll see you tomorrow.
When we're in the audience,|he does wave.
Why's Phoebe singing|to Karl Malden?
I think it's time for puppy|to go out again.
Come on, let's go to the balcony.
The street.|Come on, let's go to the street.
Don't go on the balcony|until after I get back.
So, did you do it?
Yes, yes, we had the sex.
It was bad?
It was fine, but she didn't agree|with me as strongly as with Joey.
She was like, "I see your point.|I'm all right with it."
There's not always a lot of agreement|the first time.
Yeah. Not for girls, anyway.|Guys agree like that.
Look, you have to help me.
I mean...
I know what to do with a woman.|It's always nice.
I need to know...
...what makes it go from nice to...
..."My God! Somebody's killing her|in there!"
I'll show you something|a lot of guys don't know.
All right.
Now.
You don't have to draw an actual...|Whoa, she's hot!
Everyone knows the erogenous zones.
You got one, two, three...
...four...
...five, six and seven.
There are seven?
Let me see that.
That's one?
Kind of an important one.
I was looking at it upside down.
Well, you know sometimes that helps.
Most guys will hit one, two, three|and then go to seven and set up camp.
That's bad?
At Disneyland, you don't spend|the whole day on the Matterhorn.
You might if it were like seven.
The important thing is|to take your time.
You want to hit them all...
...mix them up.|Keep them on their toes.
Oh, toes!
For some people.
All right.
You could start out|with a little one.
A two.
A one, two, three.
A three.
A five.
A four.
A three, two.
Two. A two, four, six.
Two, four, six.
Four. Two.
Two. Four, seven!
Five, seven! Six, seven!
Seven! Seven!
Dr. Geller?|There's a seat here.
Thank you, Dr. Phillips.
But I'm having my lunch...
...at this table.|Here in the middle.
I'm eating...
...right here|with my good friend, Joey.
If he'll sit with me.
I will sit with you, Dr. Geller.
You know...
...we work in a museum|of natural history.
And yet, there is something...
...unnatural...
...about the way we eat lunch.
I look around, and you know what I see?|I see division.
Division between people in white coats|and people in blue blazers.
I ask myself, "My God, why?"
Now, I say we shed these coats...
...that separate us.
And we get to know|the people underneath.
I'm Ross!
I'm divorced and I have a kid!
I'm Joey! I'm an actor!
I don't know squat about dinosaurs!
I'm Ted, and I just moved here,|and New York really scares me.
- There you go!|- Hang in there, Teddy!
I'm Andrew.
And I didn't pay for this pear.
Okay. Good for you.
I'm Rhonda!|And these aren't real!
Wow, Rhonda.
- I'm Scott.|- Yeah, okay, Scott!
I flip the light switch on and off|17 times when I leave a room...
...or my family will die.
My mom will be here soon.
I can't. I can't give him up.
Yes, no. I can.
I don't want to.
But I can.
I can't watch this.|It's like "Sophie's Choice".
You know, I never saw that.
Oh, it was only okay.
I can't do this.
My mom was right.|If I can't give him up...
...there's no way|I can give up a baby.
Frank and Alice|are going to be so crushed.
What else can I give them?|A kidney!
We were in the neighborhood.
We want to let you know that|there's still no pressure.
If there was something you wanted|to say, we'll be right there.
Who's this little guy?
He's so cute! He reminds me|of my old dog, Tumor.
You are so precious,|I'd take you home.
Why don't you?
Are you serious?
Thanks.
- What are you doing?|- I'm okay with this.
You know why?|Because look at them.
Look how happy they are.
And I made that, so you know...
...it'll be a million times harder|to give up a baby. But God!
It'll feel a million times|better, right?
I'll do this.|I want to carry your baby.
Thank you so much!
You don't know what this means to us.
I think I'm going to cry!
It's going to be so great.
- What's going on?|- I gave them the puppy.
It made them so happy,|I decided to carry their baby.
- Phoebe...|- No, I know.
We're different, though.
This is a different situation.
I am not going to regret this.
I understand all that.
It's just, that was my puppy.
Would you ever be a surrogate?
Depends who asked.
What if I asked?
Oh, Mon, sure!
- Really?|- Yes.
You're not asking me, are you?
Yes. Totally.
Thank you! Thank you!
Thank you!
Yes, thank you! |
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The One With the Cheap Wedding Dress Friends 7x18 - The One With Joeys Award Friends 7x19 - The One With Ross and Monicas Cousin Friends 7x20 - The One With Rachels Kisses Friends 7x21 - The One With the Vows Friends 7x22 - The One With Chandlers Dad Friends 7x23 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 1 Friends 7x24 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 2 Friends 9x01 - The One Where No One Proposes Friends 9x02 - The One Where Emma Cries Friends 9x03 - The One With The Pediatrician Friends 9x04 - The One With The Sharks Friends 9x05 - The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner Friends 9x06 - The One With The Male Nanny Friends 9x07 - The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song Friends 9x08 - The One With Rachels Other Sister Friends 9x09 - The One With Rachels Phone Number Friends 9x10 - The One With Christmas In Tulsa Friends 9x11 - The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work Friends 9x12 - The One With Phoebes Rats Friends 9x13 - The One Where Monica Sings Friends 9x14 - The One With The Blind Dates Friends 9x15 - The One With The Mugging Friends 9x16 - The One With The Boob Job Friends 9x17 - The One With The Memorial Service Friends 9x18 - The One With The Lottery Friends 9x19 - The One With Rachels Dream Friends 9x20 - The One With The Soap Opera Party Friends 9x21 - The One With The Fertility Test Friends 9x22 - The One With The Donor Friends 9x23-24 - The One In Barbados 1 2) Frisson des vampires Le From Beijing with love From Dusk Till Dawn From Dusk Till Dawn 3 The Hangmans Daughter From Hell From Justin To Kelly (Special Edition) Frontera La Frusta e il corpo La Fucking Amal Fudoh The New Generation 1996 Fugitive The - The Chase Continues Fugitives (2000) Fukssvansen (Chop Chop) Full Frontal 2002 Full Metal Jacket Full Time Killer Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD1 Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD2 Fun in Acapulco (Richard Thorpe 1963) Funeral Parade of Roses Funeral in Berlin Funny Girl Fuochi dArtifizio Furia (2002) Fury The (1978) Futurama 1x01 - Space Pilot 3000 Futurama 1x02 - The Series Has Landed Futurama 1x03 - I Roommate Futurama 1x04 - Loves Labors Lost in Space Futurama 1x05 - Fear of a Bot Planet Futurama 1x06 - A Fishful of Dollars Futurama 1x07 - My Three Suns Futurama 1x08 - A Big Piece of Garbage Futurama 1x09 - Hell is Other Robots Futurama 2x01 - A Flight to Remember Futurama 2x02 - Mars University Futurama 2x03 - When Aliens Attack Futurama 2x04 - Fry and the Slurm Factory Futurama 3x01 - Amazon Women in the Mood Futurama 3x02 - Parasites Lost Futurama 3x03 - A Tale of Two Santas Futurama 3x04 - The Luck of the Fryrish Futurama 3x05 - The Birdbot of Ice-catraz Futurama 3x06 - Bendless Love Futurama 3x07 - The Day the Earth Stood Stupid Futurama 3x08 - Thats Lobstertainment Futurama 3x09 - The Cyber House Rules Futurama 3x10 - Insane in the Mainframe Futurama 3x10 - Where The Buggalo Roam Futurama 3x12 - The Route of All Evil Futurama 3x13 - Bendin in the Wind Futurama 3x14 - Time Keeps on Slippin Futurama 3x15 - I Dated a Robot Futurama 3x16 - A Leela of Her Own Futurama 3x17 - A Pharaoh To Remember Futurama 3x18 - Anthology of Interest Part 2 Futurama 3x19 - Roswell That Ends Well Futurama 3x20 - Godfellas Futurama 3x21 - Future Stock Futurama 3x22 - The 30 Iron Chef Futurama 4x01 - Kif Gets Knocked Up a Notch Futurama 4x02 - Leelas Homeworld Futurama 4x03 - Love and Rocket Futurama 4x04 - Less Than Hero Futurama 4x05 - A Taste of Freedom Futurama 4x06 - Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV Futurama 4x07 - Jurassic Bark Futurama 4x08 - Crimes of the Hot Futurama 4x09 - Teenage Mutant Leelas Hurdles Futurama 4x10 - The Why of Fry Futurama 4x11 - Where no Fan Has Gone Before Futurama 4x12 - The Sting Futurama 4x13 - Bend Her Futurama 4x14 - Obsoletely Fabulous Futurama 4x15 - The Farnsworth Parabox Futurama 4x16 - Three Hundred Big Boys Futurama 4x17 - Spanish Fry Futurama 4x18 - The Devils Hands are Idle Playthings Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD1 Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD2
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