Friends - 3x04 - The One With the Metaphorical Tunnel
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I deliver perfection...|and don't brag about it! :D
Welcome, everybody!|Welcome to "Amazing Discoveries"!
It's on again!
Guys, could we please|not watch this?
{y:i}This ever happen to you?|{y:i}You go to get a glass of milk...
{y:i}... but these cartons are so|{y:i}flinging, flanging hard to open!
{y:i}Boy, you said it, Mike.
{y:i}- There's gotta be a better way.|{y:i}- There is, Kevin!
- Can we please turn this off?|- No way, Kevin!
{y:i}What if I told you there's|{y:i}a new product that guarantees...
{y:i}... you'll never have to open up|{y:i}milk cartons again?
{y:i}Meet the Milkmaster 2000!
- Intrigued?|- You're flinging, flanging right I am!
{y:i}This is the first time he's used this.|{y:i}You'll see how easy this is to do.
{y:i}- This works in any milk carton.|{y:i}- Wow, it is easy!
{y:i}Now I can have milk every day.
The One With the Metaphorical Tunnel
English Subtitles by|GELULA & CO., INC.
It's official.|There are no good movies.
So let's go to a bad one,|and make out.
Perhaps you'd like me to turn|so you can bunny-bump against my back?
- Hey, man. What's up?|- Maybe you can tell me.
My agent wants to know why I didn't|show up at my audition today...
...my first good one in weeks.|How could you not give me the message?
I'll tell you, I do enjoy guilt...
...but it wasn't me.
Yes, it was.|It was him!
Okay, it was me!
- How was it you?|- Well, it was all so crazy, you know?
Chandler was in the closet,|counting to 10...
...and I hadn't found a place|to hide yet.
I meant to tell you, and I wrote it all|down on my hand. See? All of it.
Yep, that's my audition.
See? Now, this is why I keep|notepads everywhere.
Yep. And that's why we don't|invite you to play.
What is the great tragedy here?|Get yourself another appointment.
Estelle tried. The casting director|told her I missed my chance.
Well, that is unfair!
I'll call her.|I'll tell her it was my fault.
You can't. The casting director|doesn't talk to friends.
- She only talks to agents.|- What a sad little life she must lead.
- What are you doing?|- No, I know, I know.
Hi, this is Caitlin|from Phoebe Buffay's office.
Is Anne there for Phoebe?
She'll know what it's about.
Hang up. Hang up right...
Annie? Hi. Listen, we've got|a problem with Joey Tribbiani.
Apparently, he missed his audition.|Who did you speak to in my office?
Estelle? I don't know|what to do with her.
So your husband leaves and burns down|the apartment. The world doesn't stop.
Is anybody else scared?
If Joey loses this audition, then|that is it for Estelle. I don't care!
Annie, you are a doll. What time can|you see him? I need a pen. Pen!
Get the woman a pad!|Get the woman a pad! A pad! A pad!
Oh, now you want a pad.
Where's my boy?
Here's my boy!
And here's his Barbie!
What's my boy doing with a Barbie?
He picked it out at the store.|He loves it.
He carries it everywhere,|like a security blanket.
But with ski boots and a kicky beret.
Yeah, it's cute.
Why does he have it again?
So he's got a doll. So what?
Unless you're afraid|he's gonna grow up to be...
...in show business.
This wouldn't have|to do with the fact...
...that he's being raised|by two women?
You know what? It's fine. If you're|okay with the Barbie thing, so am I.
Give Daddy the Barbie.|Give me the Barbie.
Don't you wanna play|with a monster truck?
No? Okay.
How about a Dino-Soldier?
You are so pathetic.
Why can't your son|just play with his doll?
I gotta go to work.
Has anybody seen my left boob?
I loved that movie.
Here it is.|What are you doing?
I'm sorry. It just felt nice.
Answer the phone.
I only got one arm. You should|do stuff for me. Get me a sweater.
Just do it! It's Janice.
And if I get it, I'll have|to see her tonight.
That's great.|I'll have to see her tonight.
Why don't you want to see Janice?
Last night at dinner,|when the meals came...
...she put half her chicken piccata|on my plate and took all my tomatoes.
And that's bad...
...because you hate chicken piccata?
You didn't want to share your tomatoes.|Tomatoes are very important to you.
Suddenly, we were this "couple".
And this alarm started going off|in my head.
"Run for your life!|Get out of the building!"
Men are unbelievable.
What is it with you people?
The minute you feel something,|you have to run away?
I know. That...
That's why I don't want to go tonight.|I'm afraid I'll say something stupid.
You mean that "guy thing" where|you act mean and distant...
...until we break up with you?
You know about that?
What do I do?|I wanna get past this.
I don't want to be afraid|of commitment.
I want to go through the tunnel|to the other side!
Where there's no fear of commitment.
Do we have any...
Do we have any thoughts here?
I've never been through|the tunnel myself because...
...you're not allowed through|with more than one girl in the car.
But it seems to me it's pretty much|like anything else. Face your fear.
Fear of heights?|Go to the top of the building.
You're afraid of bugs.
Get a bug.
You have a fear of commitment.
So I say you go in there and you be|the most committed guy there ever was!
Amazingly, that makes sense.
- Do you think?|- Oh, yeah! Go for it, man!
Jump off the high dive!
Stare down the barrel of the gun!|Pee into the wind!
If I'm staring down|the barrel of a gun...
...I'm gonna be pretty much peeing|every which way.
It's your audition from this morning!
Can I use the phone?
Sure, that's what it's there for.|Emergencies and pretend agents.
Come on, baby! Come on!
Hi. I have Phoebe Buffay|returning a page.
Okay, she's in her car.|I'll have to patch you through.
Very nice touch.
Okay, go ahead.
Talk, talk, talk!
Hi, Annie?
Fantastic. You got it!
Will he work for scale, you ask me?|Well, I don't know about that.
Except that I do and he will.
Great. Oh, you are such a sweetheart.
I would love to have lunch with you!
How about we have lunch next...
Went through a tunnel.
Unbelievable.
Oh, thank you so much!
It was really fun. I mean, I've never|talked on a car phone before.
You are so amazing!|Could you do me this huge favor?
There's another audition I want,|and Estelle couldn't get me in.
I don't know.|It was fun one time, but...
Please? It would just be|this one more.
Well, actually it's two.
Two?
Well, really it's three.
Please? You're so good at it.|I love you.
Okay. But just these three, right?
No, it's four.
So how come you wanted|to eat in tonight?
Because I wanted...
...to give you this.
Are you a puppy!
Contact paper!
What do you say when someone|you're sleeping with...
...gives you contact paper?
Wait, there's more.|See, the contact paper is to go...
...in your brand new drawer!
See, the drawer actually|goes in my dresser.
You didn't have to do this.
Yes, I did.
Yes, I did.|Because you're my girlfriend...
...and that's what girlfriends|should get.
Well, I gotta buy a vowel...
...because, oh, my God!
Who would've thought that someday...
...Chandler Bing would buy me|a drawer?
Well, not me.
But that's what's happened.|And there's more.
We should take a trip.
We should?
We're a couple,|and that's what couples do.
And I wanna meet your parents.
We should take a trip|with your parents!
I don't think we need to because|you're tripping me out right now!
Are you okay?
No, I am.
I actually am! This is amazing.
My entire life, I have feared|this place.
And now that I'm here, it's like,|what was the big deal?
I could probably say, "Let's move in|together", and I'd be okay.
You probably want us|to move in together?
- It doesn't scare me!|- Yeah, well it scares me!
I'm not even divorced yet! You just|invited me over here for pasta...
...and now you're talking|about moving in together.
And I wasn't even that hungry.
You know what? It's getting really|late, and I should just...
Don't go! I've scared you!|I've said too much!
I'm hopeless and awkward|and desperate for love!
Hey, Janice, it's me.
I wanted to apologize in advance|for having chased you down the street.
Here you go, honey. This will help.
So I catch up to her|and she says...
...this relationship's going too fast|and we have to slow down.
That is never good.
Then I got all...
...needy and clingy.
Wait a minute. Maybe it's|not so bad. How did you leave it?
She said she'd call me.
Oh, God.
Welcome to our side of the tunnel.
This ice cream tastes like crap,|by the way.
Well, it's that|low-cal-nondairy-soymilk junk.
We save the real stuff|for the truly terminal cases.
When you're getting screwed over all|the time, you gotta switch to low fat.
Yeah, you do.
You don't think I'm terminal?
Not at all. You're not terminal.|We just need some damage control.
Okay. Should I call her?
It's a critical time. If you feel|yourself reaching for that phone...
...go shopping, get your butt|in a bubble bath.
If you want her back,|you have got to start acting aloof.
She has to know you're not needy.
So what you have to do is...
...you have to accidentally|run into her on purpose...
...and then act aloof.
So I'm not gonna lose her?
Oh, honey, you're not a total loser.
I said, "So I'm not gonna lose her?"
Guess who's here!
It's the toughest guy in Toyland, Ben!
{y:i}Real American hero|{y:i}I'm G.I. Joe!
Drop the Barbie. Drop the Barbie.
G.I. Joe?
You really think he'll fall for that?
G.I. Joe?
Cool! Can I play?
Look, Ben! It's a toy that protects|U.S. Oil interests overseas!
Go, Joe!
- There you are!|- No, it's not. Sorry.
But, Phoebe, wait, wait.|Phoebe!
Oh, Joey! Oh, okay!|See, I didn't recognize you...
...in those pants.
That TV movie I went in for,|did you hear anything?
I think I got a shot at it.
Yes, they called!|You didn't get it!
Okay? I mean, you didn't get it.|I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
That's okay. These things happen.
But they shouldn't happen.|You know what?
You're in a terrible,|terrible business.
I don't want to be the person|who makes you look like that.
I'm okay. See?
Now you're sad and creepy.
I'm sorry. I quit.
No, no, you can't quit!|You're the best agent I ever had.
Rejection is part of being an actor.|You can't take it personal.
They said they'd never met an Italian|actor with a worse Italian accent.
They actually said that?
Oh, God, there's that face again.|See? I can't do this job!
This is why|you have to do this job!
Agents always lie.
Estelle just says stuff like,|"They went another way."
But this? I can use this.
I can work on a new accent.
Yeah, okay. If it|helps you, okay. Yeah.
You'll never get me, Joe!
No, thank you.
What are you doing here?
Just a bit of shopping.
How have you been?
Are you being British?
Not anymore.
Why are you shopping here?|You don't live in this neighborhood.
Were you here waiting for me?
I'm just...
...picking up some things for a party.
Barley?
What kind of party serves barley?
I'm sorry if my friends aren't|as sophisticated as yours.
Where is this party?
Here in Chelsea.
Whose party is it?
A woman's.
What woman?
Chelsea.
Either you're seeing somebody|behind my back...
...which would make you|the world's biggest jerk...
...or you're pretending|to see somebody...
...which makes you so pathetic|I could cry right here!
So which of these two guys|do you want to be?
Can I be that guy?
Okay, we got some more good|rejections. Lots of stuff to work on.
Okay. Shoot.
Okay. Oh, the zoo commercial.
I didn't get it?
They said that you|"weren't believable as a human being."
So you can work on that.
Great.
What else?
The off-Broadway-play people said|that you were "pretty but dumb".
Oh, no wait. I'm sorry.|That's "pretty dumb".
Look, it's okay, no, no, no.|Really.
Look...
...I really appreciate this...
...but I'm gonna have to|go back to Estelle.
Don't get me wrong.|You're a better agent than she is...
...but at least with her, I don't want|to blow my pretty dumb brains out.
Yeah, no, I understand.
You do? Thanks. Okay.
Sorry.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Did you make all that stuff up|to get out of being my agent?
Oh, he caught me.
I am so busted!
That's what I suspected!
And then I just, you know...
...threw the bag of barley at her|and ran out of the store.
My God, Chandler, we said be "aloof",|not "a doof".
I've actually ruined this, haven't I?
Is it time for the good ice cream now?
Yeah, it is.
You know what?|Everything's gonna be okay.
Can you hold on for a second?
What do I do?
I don't know.|This is unprecedented.
If we did what you did,|a man would never call.
I got it! Pretend you just woke up.|That'll throw her off!
- Be sleepy!|- Yes! And grumpy!
What are you...?|Stop naming dwarfs!
I'm so glad that you called.
I know I've been acting|really weird lately...
...and it's just because|I'm crazy about you...
...and I just got stupid and scared...
...and stupid a couple more times.
And I'm sorry.
Really?
Really?
He's so lucky.|If Janice were a guy...
...she'd be sleeping|with somebody else by now.
I love you too.
It's so unfair!
G.I. Joe? G.I. Joe?!
I don't know what to tell you guys.|That's the doll he chose.
What'd you do, dip it in sugar?
Look, G.I. Joe's in, Barbie's out.
And if you guys can't deal with it,|that's just your too bad.
What are you being such a weenie for?|So he has a Barbie. Big deal.
You used to dress up like a woman.
What?
The way you used to dress up|in Mom's clothes?
What are you talking about?
The big hat, the pearls,|the little pink handbag?
Okay. You are totally|making this up.
How can you not remember?
You made us call you "Bea"?
Oh, God.
I've literally never been this happy.
Wasn't there a little song?
Oh, please, God,|let there be a song.
There was no song.|There was no song.
{y:i}I am Bea
{y:i}- I drink tea...|- That's enough.
{y:i}Won't you...
{y:i}Won't you...
{y:i}Won't you...
{y:i}Won't you dance around with me?
{y:i}I am Bea
{y:i}I drink tea
{y:i}Won't you dance around with...?
Ross? |
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4x05 - The One With Joeys New Girlfriend Friends - 4x06 - The One With the Dirty Girl Friends - 4x07 - The One Where Chandler Crosses Friends - 4x08 - The One With Chandler in a Box Friends - 4x09 - The One Where They are Going Friends - 4x10 - The One With the Girl from Friends - 4x11 - The One With Phoebes Uterus Friends - 4x12 - The One With the Embryos Friends - 4x13 - The One With Rachels Crush Friends - 4x14 - The One With Joeys Dirty Day Friends - 4x15 - The One With All the Rugby Friends - 4x16 - The One With the Fake Party Friends - 4x17 - The One With the Free Porn Friends - 4x18 - The One With Rachels New Dress Friends - 4x19 - The One With All the Haste Friends - 4x20 - The One With All the Wedding Dresses Friends - 4x21 - The One With the Invitation Friends - 4x22 - The One With the Worst Best Man Ever Friends - 4x23 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 1 Friends - 4x24 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 2 Friends - 5x01 - The One After Ross Says Rachel Friends - 5x02 - The One With All the Kissing Friends - 5x03 - The One Hundreth Friends - 5x04 - The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS Friends - 5x05 - The One With the Kips Friends - 5x06 - The One With the Yeti Friends - 5x07 - The One Where Ross Moves In Friends - 5x08 - The One With All the Thanksgivins Friends - 5x09 - The One With Rosss Sandwich Friends - 5x10 - The One With the Inappropiate Sister Friends - 5x11 - The One With All the Resolutions Friends - 5x12 - The One With Chandlers Work Laugh Friends - 5x13 - The One With Joeys Bag Friends - 5x14 - The One Where Everyone Finds Out Friends - 5x15 - The One With the Girl Who Hits Joey Friends - 5x16 - The One With the Cop Friends - 5x17 - The One With Rachels Friends - 5x18 - The One Where Rachel Smokes Friends - 5x19 - The One Where Ross Cant Flirt Friends - 5x20 - The One With the Ride-Along Friends - 5x21 - The One With the Ball Friends - 5x22 - The One With Joeys Big Break Friends - 5x23 - The One in Vegas Friends - 6x01 - The One After Vegas Friends - 6x02 - The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel Friends - 6x03 - The One With Rosss Denial Friends - 6x04 - The One Where Joey Loses His Friends - 6x05 - The One With Joeys Porsche Friends - 6x06 - The One On the Last Night Friends - 6x07 - The One Where Phoebe Runs Friends - 6x08 - The One With Rosss Teeth Friends - 6x15 Friends 7x01 - The One with Monicas Thunder Friends 7x02 - The One With Rachels Book Friends 7x03 - The One With Phoebes Cookies Friends 7x04 - The One With Rachels Assistant Friends 7x05 - The One With The Engagement Picture Friends 7x06 - The One With The Nap Partners Friends 7x07 - The One with Rosss Library Book Friends 7x08 - The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs Friends 7x09 - The One With All the Candy Friends 7x10 - The One With The Holiday Armadillo Friends 7x11 - The One With All The Cheesecakes Friends 7x12 - The One Where They are Up All Night Friends 7x13 - The One Where Rosita Dies Friends 7x14 - The One Where They All Turn Thirty Friends 7x15 - The One With Joeys New Brain Friends 7x16 - The One With the Truth About London Friends 7x17 - The One With the Cheap Wedding Dress Friends 7x18 - The One With Joeys Award Friends 7x19 - The One With Ross and Monicas Cousin Friends 7x20 - The One With Rachels Kisses Friends 7x21 - The One With the Vows Friends 7x22 - The One With Chandlers Dad Friends 7x23 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 1 Friends 7x24 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 2 Friends 9x01 - The One Where No One Proposes Friends 9x02 - The One Where Emma Cries Friends 9x03 - The One With The Pediatrician Friends 9x04 - The One With The Sharks Friends 9x05 - The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner Friends 9x06 - The One With The Male Nanny Friends 9x07 - The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song Friends 9x08 - The One With Rachels Other Sister Friends 9x09 - The One With Rachels Phone Number Friends 9x10 - The One With Christmas In Tulsa Friends 9x11 - The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work Friends 9x12 - The One With Phoebes Rats Friends 9x13 - The One Where Monica Sings Friends 9x14 - The One With The Blind Dates Friends 9x15 - The One With The Mugging Friends 9x16 - The One With The Boob Job Friends 9x17 - The One With The Memorial Service Friends 9x18 - The One With The Lottery Friends 9x19 - The One With Rachels Dream Friends 9x20 - The One With The Soap Opera Party Friends 9x21 - The One With The Fertility Test Friends 9x22 - The One With The Donor Friends 9x23-24 - The One In Barbados 1 2) Frisson des vampires Le From Beijing with love From Dusk Till Dawn From Dusk Till Dawn 3 The Hangmans Daughter From Hell From Justin To Kelly (Special Edition) Frontera La Frusta e il corpo La Fucking Amal Fudoh The New Generation 1996 Fugitive The - The Chase Continues Fugitives (2000) Fukssvansen (Chop Chop) Full Frontal 2002 Full Metal Jacket Full Time Killer Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD1 Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD2 Fun in Acapulco (Richard Thorpe 1963) Funeral Parade of Roses Funeral in Berlin Funny Girl Fuochi dArtifizio Furia (2002) Fury The (1978) Futurama 1x01 - Space Pilot 3000 Futurama 1x02 - The Series Has Landed Futurama 1x03 - I Roommate Futurama 1x04 - Loves Labors Lost in Space Futurama 1x05 - Fear of a Bot Planet Futurama 1x06 - A Fishful of Dollars Futurama 1x07 - My Three Suns Futurama 1x08 - A Big Piece of Garbage Futurama 1x09 - Hell is Other Robots Futurama 2x01 - A Flight to Remember Futurama 2x02 - Mars University Futurama 2x03 - When Aliens Attack Futurama 2x04 - Fry and the Slurm Factory Futurama 3x01 - Amazon Women in the Mood Futurama 3x02 - Parasites Lost Futurama 3x03 - A Tale of Two Santas Futurama 3x04 - The Luck of the Fryrish Futurama 3x05 - The Birdbot of Ice-catraz Futurama 3x06 - Bendless Love Futurama 3x07 - The Day the Earth Stood Stupid Futurama 3x08 - Thats Lobstertainment Futurama 3x09 - The Cyber House Rules Futurama 3x10 - Insane in the Mainframe Futurama 3x10 - Where The Buggalo Roam Futurama 3x12 - The Route of All Evil Futurama 3x13 - Bendin in the Wind Futurama 3x14 - Time Keeps on Slippin Futurama 3x15 - I Dated a Robot Futurama 3x16 - A Leela of Her Own Futurama 3x17 - A Pharaoh To Remember Futurama 3x18 - Anthology of Interest Part 2 Futurama 3x19 - Roswell That Ends Well Futurama 3x20 - Godfellas Futurama 3x21 - Future Stock Futurama 3x22 - The 30 Iron Chef Futurama 4x01 - Kif Gets Knocked Up a Notch Futurama 4x02 - Leelas Homeworld Futurama 4x03 - Love and Rocket Futurama 4x04 - Less Than Hero Futurama 4x05 - A Taste of Freedom Futurama 4x06 - Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV Futurama 4x07 - Jurassic Bark Futurama 4x08 - Crimes of the Hot Futurama 4x09 - Teenage Mutant Leelas Hurdles Futurama 4x10 - The Why of Fry Futurama 4x11 - Where no Fan Has Gone Before Futurama 4x12 - The Sting Futurama 4x13 - Bend Her Futurama 4x14 - Obsoletely Fabulous Futurama 4x15 - The Farnsworth Parabox Futurama 4x16 - Three Hundred Big Boys Futurama 4x17 - Spanish Fry Futurama 4x18 - The Devils Hands are Idle Playthings Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD1 Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD2
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