Friends - 02x03 - the one where heckles dies
So how was Joan?
Broke up with her.
Oh, why?
Don't tell me.
Because of the big nostril thing?
They were huge!
When she sneezed,
bats flew out of them.
They were not that huge.
I' m telling you, she leaned back,
I could see her brain.
How many women will you reject. . .
. . .over superficial,
insignificant things--
Hold it. I gotta side
with Chandler on this one.
When I first moved here,
I went out with this girl.
Really hot. Great kisser. . .
. . .but she had the biggest
Adam's apple.
Drove me nuts.
-You or me?
-I got it.
Joey, women don't have Adam's apples.
You guys are messing with me, right?
Yeah. We are!
That's a good one.
For a second there, I was like, whoa!
The One Where Heckles Dies
English Subtitles by
GELULA & CO., INC.
Düzenleme : EviLL
You name one woman that you broke up
with for an actual real reason.
Maureen Rasillo.
Because she doesn't hate Yanni
is not a real reason.
Hello, Mr. Heckles.
You' re doing it again.
We' re not doing anything.
You' re stomping.
It's disturbing my birds.
You don't have birds.
I could have birds.
We'll try to keep it down.
Thank you.
I' m going to rejoin my dinner party.
All right, bye-bye.
Okay, Janice.
Give me Janice.
That wasn't about being picky.
We'll give you Janice.
I miss Janice, though.
Hello, Chandler Bing!
Oh, my God!
Oh, Chandler!
Now! Now!
That's it.
There! Faster!
Stop with the broom!
We' re not making noise!
We won.
We did it!
Mr. Heckles!
-How did this happen?
-He was sweeping.
They found a broom in his hand.
-That's terrible.
-I know.
I was sweeping yesterday.
It could've been me.
Sweeping. You never know.
Never know.
It's very faint, but I can
still sense him in the building.
Go into the light, Mr. Heckles!
Okay, Phoebe.
I' m sorry,
but sometimes they need help.
Here we go.
That's fine, go ahead and scoff.
There are a lot of things
I don't believe in. . .
. . .but that doesn't mean
they' re not true.
Such as?
Like crop circles or
the Bermuda Triangle or evolution.
What, you don't believe in evolution?
Not really.
You don't believe in evolution?
I don't know.
It's just, you know. . . .
Monkeys, Darwin, it's a nice story.
I just think it's a little too easy.
"Too easy"? Too--
The process of every living thing
on this planet evolving. . .
. . .over millions of years from
single-celled organisms is "too easy"?
Yeah, I just don't buy it.
Excuse me. Evolution is not
for you to buy, Phoebe.
Evolution is scientific fact,
like the air we breathe. . .
. . .Iike gravity.
Don't get me started on gravity.
You don't believe in gravity?
Well, it's not so much that,
you know, I don't believe in it.
Lately I get the feeling that. . .
. . .I' m not so much being pulled down
as I am being pushed.
Pushed.
It's lsaac Newton and he's pissed.
There she is. And over there,
that's the other one.
This is Mr. Buddy Doyle,
Heckles' attorney.
He'd like to talk to you.
What can we do for you?
All right, kids, here's the deal.
According my client's will. . .
. . .he wants to leave
all his earthly possessions. . .
. . .to "the noisy girls
in the apartment above mine. "
What about his family?
He didn't have any.
Okay, so let's talk money.
All right, there was none.
Now, let's talk signing.
You be noisy girl number one.
You be noisy girl number two.
I can't believe that this whole time
we thought he hated us.
Isn't it amazing how much
you can touch someone's life. . .
. . .without even knowing it?
Would you look at this dump?
He hated us!
This was his final revenge!
I've never seen so much crap!
Actually, I think this apartment
sullies the good name of crap.
Check this out.
Can I have this?
How can you not believe in evolution?
I don't know, just don't.
Look at this funky shirt!
Pheebs, I've studied evolution
my entire adult life.
And we've collected fossils
from all over the world. . .
. . .that actually show the evolution
of different species.
I mean, you can literally see them. . .
. . .evolving through time.
Really? You can actually see it?
You bet! ln the U.S.,
China, Africa, all over!
See, I didn't know that.
Well, there you go.
So now the real question is,
who put those fossils there and why?
Look at this!
My Big Book of Grievances.
Hey, there's me!
"April 1 7th, excessive noise. . .
. . .Italian guy comes home with a date. "
You' re in here too.
"April 1 8th, excessive noise. . .
. . .Italian guy's gay roommate
brings home dry cleaning. "
Well, that's excellent.
Look at this lamp.
Is this tacky or what?
We have to have this.
I think we have enough regular lamps.
What? Come on, it's not like. . .
. . .I' m asking for this
girlie clock or anything.
Which, by the way,
I also think is really cool.
Look, it doesn't go
with any of my stuff.
Well, what about my stuff?
You don't have any stuff.
You still think of it
as your apartment, don't you?
Yes, you do.
You think of it as your apartment
and I just rent a room.
While you "mmm" on that,
I'll go find a place for my new lamp.
Okay, Pheebs. See how I' m making
these little toys move?
Opposable thumbs!
Without evolution, how do you
explain opposable thumbs?
Maybe the Overlords needed them
to steer their spacecrafts.
Tell me you' re joking.
Look, can't we say that you believe
in something and I don't?
-No, Pheebs, we can't.
-Why not?
What is this obsessive need
to make everybody agree with you?
No, what's that all about?
You know what I think?
I think maybe it's time
you put Ross under the microscope.
Is there blood coming out of my ears?
Check it out.
Heckles' high-school yearbook.
He looks so normal!
He's even kind of cute.
"Heckles, you crack me up
in science class.
You' re the funniest kid in school. "
-Funniest? Heckles?
-That's what it says.
Heckles was voted class clown,
and so was l.
He was right!
Would you listen to that?
I'd call that excessive.
What?
Heckles played clarinet in band,
and I played clarinet.
He was in the scale
modeler's club and I was--
There was no club,
but I sure thought they were cool.
So? You were both dorks.
Big deal.
I just think it's weird, you know?
Heckles and me--
Heckles and me. Me--
Me and Heckles.
Hey, would you knock it off!
Have you been here all night?
Look at this.
Pictures of all the women
Heckles went out with.
Look what he wrote on them.
"Vivian, too tall. "
"Madge, big gums. "
"Too loud. "
"Too smart. "
"Makes noise when she eats. "
This is me.
This is what I do.
I' m gonna end up alone,
just like he did.
Heckles was a nut case.
Our trains are on the same track.
I' m coming up 30 years behind him,
but the stops are all the same.
Bitter Town. . .
. . .Alone-ville, Hermit Junction!
You know what we gotta do?
Get you out of here.
I'll buy you breakfast.
What if I never find somebody?
Or worse, what if I found her. . .
. . .but I dumped her because
she pronounces it, "supposably"?
Chandler, come on,
you' re gonna find somebody.
How do you know that? How?
I don't know. I' m just
trying to help you out.
You guys will all get married. . .
. . .and I'll end up alone.
Will you promise me something?
When you' re married, will you
invite me over for holidays?
I don't know what we'll be doing.
I mean, what if we' re over
at her folks' place?
Yeah, I understand.
You can come over
and watch the Super Bowl.
Every year, all right?
You know what?
I' m not gonna end up like this.
I'll see you, man.
"Supposably. "
Supposably!
Did they go to the zoo?
Supposably.
Hi. It's me.
Oh, my God!
Janice? You called Janice?
Yes. Janice.
Why is that difficult to comprehend?
You remember Janice, right?
Yes. She was smart, she was pretty
and she honestly cared about me.
Janice is my last chance
to have somebody.
Oh, my God!
Jeez, look how fat she got.
-Hey, it's everybody!
-Hi, Janice.
Janice, you' re. . . .
Yes, I am.
-Is it--?
-Is it yours?
You wish, Chandler Bing!
You are looking at a married lady now.
Congratulations.
Sweetie, I' m sorry.
You couldn't tell me on the phone?
And what? Miss the expression
on your face? Oh, no!
Janice likes to have her fun!
You know what we haven't
played in a while?
Hide the lamp.
Monica, let it go.
Did you know
I' m allergic to shellfish?
Then you'll just have
to eat the other lamps.
It's scary scientist man.
Okay, Phoebe, this is it.
In this briefcase I carry
actual scientific facts.
A briefcase of facts, if you will.
Some of these fossils are
over 200 million years old.
Before you even start,
I' m not denying evolution.
It's just one of the possibilities.
It's the only possibility.
Ross, could you just open
your mind, like, this much?
Didn't the brightest minds in
the world believe the Earth was flat?
And up till 50 years ago, you thought
the atom was the smallest thing. . .
. . .until you split it open
and this whole mess of crap came out.
Are you telling me that you are
so unbelievably arrogant. . .
. . .that you can't admit that
there's a teeny, tiny possibility. . .
. . .that you could be wrong about this?
There might be. . .
. . .a teeny. . .
. . .tiny. . .
. . .possibility.
I can't believe you caved.
You just abandoned
your whole belief system!
Before, I didn't agree with you,
but at least I respected you.
But. . . .
How are you gonna go
into work tomorrow?
How are you going to face
the other science guys?
How are you going to face yourself?
That was fun.
So who's hungry?
I am.
Me too.
Let me just get my coat.
What happened?
It was an accident, I swear.
I was putting on my jacket and
the thing and the lamp and it broke.
Oh, please, Monica!
You've always hated my lamp!
And now all of a sudden,
it's just magically, it's just broken?
Phoebe, tell her?
I didn't see it, because
I was putting on my jacket.
But I want to believe you.
Hey, Chandler. Monica just
broke my seashell lamp.
Neat.
I' m gonna die alone!
Okay, you win.
Chandler, you are not
gonna die alone.
Janice was my safety net, okay?
And now I have to get a snake.
Why is that?
If I' m gonna be an old, lonely man,
I' m gonna need a thing.
You know, a hook.
Like that guy on the subway
who eats his own face.
So I figure I'll be
"Crazy Man With A Snake. "
Crazy Snake Man.
Then I'll get more snakes,
call them my babies.
Kids will run past my place!
"Run away from Crazy Snake Man,"
they'll shout!
You've got to get over this.
You won't end up alone.
Of course I will.
I reject anyone who's crazy enough
to actually go out with me. . .
. . .and then I bitch that there
aren't any great women out there.
You have just described. . .
. . .virtually every man
that we've ever gone out with.
You are not a freak.
You' re a guy.
She's right.
You' re no different than the rest.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Yes, he is.
You are totally different.
In a bad way?
No, honey, in a wonderful way.
You know what you want now.
Most guys don't even have a clue.
You' re ready to take risks, be
vulnerable and intimate with someone.
You' re not gonna end up alone.
You called Janice. That's how much
you wanted to be with someone!
-You've made it!
-You' re there!
You are ready to make a commitment!
Don't know about that!
What you got there?
Something else that's not yours
that you can break?
I know you like this
and I want you to have it.
It'll look good in our apartment.
Thank you.
That's fine.
You'll all be pleased to know
that I have a date tomorrow night.
This woman Allison from work.
She is great.
She's pretty, she's smart.
And I've been. . .
. . .holding off asking her out
in the past, because she has a. . .
. . .unusually large head.
But I' m not going to let
that stuff hang me up anymore.
Look at me. I' m growing.
You can't recycle yearbooks, can you?
I'll take that.
You want his yearbook?
Some people said nice things about him.
Somebody should have it.
Gosh, this is so weird.
His whole life was in
this apartment and now it's gone.
I think it would be nice if we just
took a few moments for Mr. Heckles.
He was kind of a pain.
He was, but he was a person.
You' re all going to hell.
It's really not that big!
-Taking that with you, huh?
-Oh, yeah.
You coming?
In a second.
Goodbye, Mr. Heckles.
We'll try to keep it down.
My major was useless.
How often do you look in the classifieds
and see "Philosopher Wanted"?
Sure.
My God, that's a big head!
It didn't look this big in the office.
Maybe it's the lighting.
My head must look
like a golf ball at work.
Don't get hung up on it. Quick!
List five things you like about her.
Nice smile, good dresser.
Big head, big head, big head!
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5x03 - The One Hundreth Friends - 5x04 - The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS Friends - 5x05 - The One With the Kips Friends - 5x06 - The One With the Yeti Friends - 5x07 - The One Where Ross Moves In Friends - 5x08 - The One With All the Thanksgivins Friends - 5x09 - The One With Rosss Sandwich Friends - 5x10 - The One With the Inappropiate Sister Friends - 5x11 - The One With All the Resolutions Friends - 5x12 - The One With Chandlers Work Laugh Friends - 5x13 - The One With Joeys Bag Friends - 5x14 - The One Where Everyone Finds Out Friends - 5x15 - The One With the Girl Who Hits Joey Friends - 5x16 - The One With the Cop Friends - 5x17 - The One With Rachels Friends - 5x18 - The One Where Rachel Smokes Friends - 5x19 - The One Where Ross Cant Flirt Friends - 5x20 - The One With the Ride-Along Friends - 5x21 - The One With the Ball Friends - 5x22 - The One With Joeys Big Break Friends - 5x23 - The One in Vegas Friends - 6x01 - The One After Vegas Friends - 6x02 - The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel Friends - 6x03 - The One With Rosss Denial Friends - 6x04 - The One Where Joey Loses His Friends - 6x05 - The One With Joeys Porsche Friends - 6x06 - The One On the Last Night Friends - 6x07 - The One Where Phoebe Runs Friends - 6x08 - The One With Rosss Teeth Friends - 6x15 Friends 7x01 - The One with Monicas Thunder Friends 7x02 - The One With Rachels Book Friends 7x03 - The One With Phoebes Cookies Friends 7x04 - The One With Rachels Assistant Friends 7x05 - The One With The Engagement Picture Friends 7x06 - The One With The Nap Partners Friends 7x07 - The One with Rosss Library Book Friends 7x08 - The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs Friends 7x09 - The One With All the Candy Friends 7x10 - The One With The Holiday Armadillo Friends 7x11 - The One With All The Cheesecakes Friends 7x12 - The One Where They are Up All Night Friends 7x13 - The One Where Rosita Dies Friends 7x14 - The One Where They All Turn Thirty Friends 7x15 - The One With Joeys New Brain Friends 7x16 - The One With the Truth About London Friends 7x17 - The One With the Cheap Wedding Dress Friends 7x18 - The One With Joeys Award Friends 7x19 - The One With Ross and Monicas Cousin Friends 7x20 - The One With Rachels Kisses Friends 7x21 - The One With the Vows Friends 7x22 - The One With Chandlers Dad Friends 7x23 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 1 Friends 7x24 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 2 Friends 9x01 - The One Where No One Proposes Friends 9x02 - The One Where Emma Cries Friends 9x03 - The One With The Pediatrician Friends 9x04 - The One With The Sharks Friends 9x05 - The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner Friends 9x06 - The One With The Male Nanny Friends 9x07 - The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song Friends 9x08 - The One With Rachels Other Sister Friends 9x09 - The One With Rachels Phone Number Friends 9x10 - The One With Christmas In Tulsa Friends 9x11 - The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work Friends 9x12 - The One With Phoebes Rats Friends 9x13 - The One Where Monica Sings Friends 9x14 - The One With The Blind Dates Friends 9x15 - The One With The Mugging Friends 9x16 - The One With The Boob Job Friends 9x17 - The One With The Memorial Service Friends 9x18 - The One With The Lottery Friends 9x19 - The One With Rachels Dream Friends 9x20 - The One With The Soap Opera Party Friends 9x21 - The One With The Fertility Test Friends 9x22 - The One With The Donor Friends 9x23-24 - The One In Barbados 1 2) Frisson des vampires Le From Beijing with love From Dusk Till Dawn From Dusk Till Dawn 3 The Hangmans Daughter From Hell From Justin To Kelly (Special Edition) Frontera La Frusta e il corpo La Fucking Amal Fudoh The New Generation 1996 Fugitive The - The Chase Continues Fugitives (2000) Fukssvansen (Chop Chop) Full Frontal 2002 Full Metal Jacket Full Time Killer Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD1 Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD2 Fun in Acapulco (Richard Thorpe 1963) Funeral Parade of Roses Funeral in Berlin Funny Girl Fuochi dArtifizio Furia (2002) Fury The (1978) Futurama 1x01 - Space Pilot 3000 Futurama 1x02 - The Series Has Landed Futurama 1x03 - I Roommate Futurama 1x04 - Loves Labors Lost in Space Futurama 1x05 - Fear of a Bot Planet Futurama 1x06 - A Fishful of Dollars Futurama 1x07 - My Three Suns Futurama 1x08 - A Big Piece of Garbage Futurama 1x09 - Hell is Other Robots Futurama 2x01 - A Flight to Remember Futurama 2x02 - Mars University Futurama 2x03 - When Aliens Attack Futurama 2x04 - Fry and the Slurm Factory Futurama 3x01 - Amazon Women in the Mood Futurama 3x02 - Parasites Lost Futurama 3x03 - A Tale of Two Santas Futurama 3x04 - The Luck of the Fryrish Futurama 3x05 - The Birdbot of Ice-catraz Futurama 3x06 - Bendless Love Futurama 3x07 - The Day the Earth Stood Stupid Futurama 3x08 - Thats Lobstertainment Futurama 3x09 - The Cyber House Rules Futurama 3x10 - Insane in the Mainframe Futurama 3x10 - Where The Buggalo Roam Futurama 3x12 - The Route of All Evil Futurama 3x13 - Bendin in the Wind Futurama 3x14 - Time Keeps on Slippin Futurama 3x15 - I Dated a Robot Futurama 3x16 - A Leela of Her Own Futurama 3x17 - A Pharaoh To Remember Futurama 3x18 - Anthology of Interest Part 2 Futurama 3x19 - Roswell That Ends Well Futurama 3x20 - Godfellas Futurama 3x21 - Future Stock Futurama 3x22 - The 30 Iron Chef Futurama 4x01 - Kif Gets Knocked Up a Notch Futurama 4x02 - Leelas Homeworld Futurama 4x03 - Love and Rocket Futurama 4x04 - Less Than Hero Futurama 4x05 - A Taste of Freedom Futurama 4x06 - Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV Futurama 4x07 - Jurassic Bark Futurama 4x08 - Crimes of the Hot Futurama 4x09 - Teenage Mutant Leelas Hurdles Futurama 4x10 - The Why of Fry Futurama 4x11 - Where no Fan Has Gone Before Futurama 4x12 - The Sting Futurama 4x13 - Bend Her Futurama 4x14 - Obsoletely Fabulous Futurama 4x15 - The Farnsworth Parabox Futurama 4x16 - Three Hundred Big Boys Futurama 4x17 - Spanish Fry Futurama 4x18 - The Devils Hands are Idle Playthings Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD1 Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD2
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