Frasier 02x17 - Daphnes Room
Dad!
Daphne!
Anybody home?
(Plays a serene classical melody)
(lmprovises a clichéd intro )
(Repeats his intro )
(Hurriedly reverts
to playing classical music )
- You're making a big deal of this.
- Dad, l've never seen Maris this angry.
Her eye was twitching
like a frog in a science experiment.
When your mother got mad, l'd bend
her backwards and give her a kiss.
l can't do that with Maris.
She has rigid vertebrae. She'd snap.
Maris moved into the east wing again?
Sunday was her 40th birthday. She
said she wanted no acknowledgement.
ln a moment l live over and over
in my dreams, l believed her!
No gifts, no party, no nothing?
Say that weeping into a lap robe
and you've got her down perfectly.
- Get her perfume.
- She gets hives.
- Candy?
- Hypoglycaemic.
- A dozen roses?
- Allergic.
Just sit her down
and tell her it was a mistake.
She's touchy about her age.
lt's not the first time she's turned 40.
l know. l'll throw a big party
this weekend.
A costume ball
with a Louis XlV theme,
right down to the wigs
and velvet pantaloons.
l presume you both have colds?
And so it goes.
Did you find a book lying around?
The station manager loaned it to me.
''The Life of Sir Herbert Beerbohm
Tree''. A history of English theatre.
You caught me.
lt got it hidden under my pillow.
Try to be helpful.
l promised l'd return it today.
Ask Daphne. She wanted
something to put her to sleep.
That book could put her into a coma!
- Dr Crane!
- Daphne!
What are you doing in my room?
You were out. Not that l
come in here when you're out.
l came in to get my book.
Which l have, you see.
We'll just be going.
Me and my book. See Frasier go.
Nadia, tell Mrs Crane l want to speak to
her and don't take no for an answer.
Then tell her Dr Crane says
please, please, please, please...
- Maris hung up on you?
- She's got Nadia doing her dirty work.
Nadia is Maris's hatchet maid.
What happened
to the French guy party?
Disaster too. A branch of Maris' family
was slaughtered by the Huguenots.
Let's forget about Maris and have
a nice meal in a convivial atmosphere.
- What is she mad about?
- Beats me.
Your favourite, Mr Crane.
Creamed onions.
And Dr Crane, special glazed carrots
just for you.
You, carve!
We don't know what she's mad at
but we know who.
lf anyone needs me l'll be in me room.
You know where that is!
- What did you do?
- l went into her bedroom.
Frasier, how could you!
No matter how irresistible the urge
to press your face against the door,
to actually feel the grain
of the wood against your cheek,
it must be fought!
l went in to retrieve my book.
- You're not supposed to go in there.
- What's the big deal?
- She doesn't like people in there.
- l let her in my room.
- Women are different.
- That's sexism.
No, it's 35 years of marriage talking.
Women protect their privacy.
You never go in their handbags.
lt's always, ''Bring me my purse.''
A husband is being robbed
at gunpoint and has no money.
The wife still says, ''Bring me my purse.''
Your homespun wisdom has pricked
the balloon of Frasier's pomposity.
You were wrong,
so go in there and apologise. Go on.
All right. l'll go into Daphne's room
and l will apologise to her.
Alone, Niles!
- Yes?
- Daphne, it's Dr Crane.
Yes.
Could you open the door, please?
l behaved very insensitively
this morning and...
l did need the book but it was wrong
of me to go in without your permission...
...and l'm sorry.
lt'll never happen again.
Ever.
l'm being very nice.
Well, good night, Daphne.
Wait. l'm being much too hard on you.
l'm sensitive about my privacy.
No need to explain.
lt will never be an issue again.
Thank you for being so understanding.
My problem goes back to growing up
in a house of boys.
My brothers were snoops.
They gave me no peace.
lt was a filthy rite of passage
for the Moon boys.
They'd sneak into the bathroom
and peek at me in the shower.
Dear God. All eight of them?
Except for my brother Billy,
the ballroom dancer.
He never peeked at me. Though
he did peek at my brother Nigel.
(Frasier) Coffee, Dad?
(Martin) Why not?
l'm up six times a night.
l might as well be alert.
Jeez, the disposal's jammed.
Stick your hand down there
and see what's stuck, will you?
Dad, it's me, Niles.
l can't get my hand in.
Punish a man for being fine-boned.
- Sure it's off?
- Positive.
Move away from the switch.
lt's wet and slimy. Like sticking
my hand into the mouth of hell.
(Grinder whirs)
Call me when the coffee's ready.
- Sorry, Niles.
- That's enough excitement.
- l'm going home to Maris.
- She's speaking to you?
No but she tires
of being frosty to the help.
l'm out of cash. l need something
to tip your garage attendant.
Oh, great. These pills.
l was thinking money
but you know him better than l do.
No, no. Daphne's prescription.
When l was in her room
l must have inadvertently...
knocked them into my pocket.
An interesting phenomenon.
l can't go into a drugstore without
aspirin leaping into my trousers.
OK, l was snooping around a little bit.
Oh, God. ''Take one before bedtime''.
She'll miss these.
- You off, Dr Crane?
- Yes, l am.
- Say hello to your wife.
- l'll try.
Mr Crane, time for your exercises.
Great. l'll just
put these back in her room.
Alone, Niles!
The game's on. l'll exercise tomorrow.
Fine. l'll be in my room.
- You'll do double tomorrow.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Grumpy old sod.
(Daphne sings)
What're you doing? That's disgusting!
You filthy thing. Get out!
Daphne, l'm so sorry!
Good morning, Frasier.
Cara mia, un mezzo latte decaffeinato
and a bran muffin.
No, no... due bran muffins.
Maris and l burned up a lot of
energy last night. A lot of energy.
l have to replenish ma body.
You achieved détente?
Twice.
What did you say to melt
your little glacier?
l stared deeply into her eyes and said,
''Maris, here are the keys
to your new Mercedes.''
You bought her a Mercedes.
Yes. The things that tiny woman
can do when motivated.
lf you're done marinating in
your testosterone, l have a problem.
Remember l went back
into Daphne's room?
- She caught me again.
- You're joking!
l was so embarrassed, l left before
she awoke. l wrote a note to explain.
Considering the circumstances,
how can she forgive me?
lt wasn't as bad as all that.
lt's not like you saw her naked
or something.
You did!
l took no pleasure in it at all.
The entire thing was mortifying.
l want to help you, so tell me
everything before you explode.
No, Niles!
l'll show you how l imagine her
and you tell me where l'm wrong.
Stop it. Put your pen away!
- Hey, guys.
- Hello, Roz, good to see you.
So, Niles, you randy dog.
You got lucky last night, didn't you?
l can always tell.
Don't worry. You'll meet somebody.
A non-fat cap, please.
Roz, this was private. l'm helping
with a matter of some delicacy.
Don't worry.
Shower boy told me about it.
How can l make this up to Daphne?
Nothing says sorry like an in-dash
CD player and a passenger airbag.
Maris was upset
so he bought her a Mercedes.
You're suggesting l buy my way out.
That's the coward's way out.
- So l'm a coward?
- Yes.
Well, l'm a coward with a hickey.
Buy me a Mercedes, l'll make your
neck look like a relief map of the Andes.
Don't encourage him! Bribery is
the wrong way to resolve conflicts.
During which failed marriage
did you hone that theory?
How dare you,
considering your non-marriage!
Dr Crane, l'm glad to see you.
l need some advice.
l got this son
who's a total numbnut.
Hello, Dad. Love your icebreaker.
Get her to stay.
She knows my moods and l like her.
- She's talking about quitting?
- Yeah, so get in there and apologise.
Dad, l can't go in there.
No you can't, because l asked you to.
l said, ''Don't go,'' you went.
l say, ''Go,'' you won't.
Unlike Eddie, he does what l say.
Come on, Eddie.
He's defying you too, Dad.
Daphne, please wait.
We've got to talk. l feel terrible.
Dr Crane,
your note explained everything.
You've nothing to feel bad about.
- That puts my mind at ease.
- We servants don't deserve privacy.
Matter of fact, why don't
we get it out in the open?
Here's my bank book, letters,
and my driver's licence.
You see l'm 4lbs heavier now,
but it's in a spot that
doesn't show...to most people!
l realise it's hard
to live in someone else's home.
Yes, it is. But l put up with it
because l happen to love this job.
All l ever asked for was one room,
a little corner l could call my own.
l never minded l was up to my eyeballs
in your earth tones
and African knick-knacks.
But l have to put up with you
and that's a leering love god too many!
Oh, Daphne. You're right,
you do deserve a place of your own.
lf you stay, l'll pay
to have your room redecorated.
Just make it your own. Paint, wallpaper.
Anything so you feel comfortable.
How about an electrified fence
and a German police dog?
l promise as long as
we live under the same roof,
l'll never set foot in your room again.
- All right.
- Thank you.
- l'll give it another try.
- (Doorbell)
- Hello.
- Hello and goodbye, Dr Crane.
- Where are you off to?
- Shopping.
Your brother offered to
have my room redecorated.
Really?
l'm thinking of doing the whole thing
in pinks and yellows.
She's really determined
to keep me out of there.
So...you're putting things right
by opening your chequebook.
l know what you're thinking.
lt's just a gesture.
l give Maris a car, it's a bribe. You
decorate Daphne's room, it's a gesture.
lt's different. You bought Maris off
because you are afraid of her.
And you're not the slightest bit
intimidated by Daphne.
So you won't be alarmed if l do this.
Niles, where are you going?
- My foot's in Daphne's room.
- Get out.
Afraid you'll get in...trouble?
- Now we're safe.
- Stop it!
Trouble...safe...trouble...safe.
Niles, you're acting like a child.
- Trouble, safe, trouble, safe...
- See what you've done.
Oh, well, so you'll just write her
a bigger, fatter cheque.
No, Niles, she'll quit!
- What! Why didn't you say?
- Oh, you spilled...
- What the hell are you doing?
- lt's Niles's fault.
Daphne, did you see that sporty
little sub-compact over there?
ls that a Mercedes dealership
across the street?
# Hey baby, l hear the blues are calling
tossed salads and scrambled eggs
# Quite stylish!
# And maybe l seem a bit confused
Well, maybe, but l got you pegged
# But l don't know what to do with those
tossed salads and scrambled eggs
# They're calling again #
Good night everybody!
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The One With The Mugging Friends 9x16 - The One With The Boob Job Friends 9x17 - The One With The Memorial Service Friends 9x18 - The One With The Lottery Friends 9x19 - The One With Rachels Dream Friends 9x20 - The One With The Soap Opera Party Friends 9x21 - The One With The Fertility Test Friends 9x22 - The One With The Donor Friends 9x23-24 - The One In Barbados 1 2) Frisson des vampires Le From Beijing with love From Dusk Till Dawn From Dusk Till Dawn 3 The Hangmans Daughter From Hell From Justin To Kelly (Special Edition) Frontera La Frusta e il corpo La Fucking Amal Fudoh The New Generation 1996 Fugitive The - The Chase Continues Fugitives (2000) Fukssvansen (Chop Chop) Full Frontal 2002 Full Metal Jacket Full Time Killer Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD1 Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD2 Fun in Acapulco (Richard Thorpe 1963) Funeral Parade of Roses Funeral in Berlin Funny Girl Fuochi dArtifizio Furia (2002) Fury The (1978) Futurama 1x01 - Space Pilot 3000 Futurama 1x02 - The Series Has Landed Futurama 1x03 - I Roommate Futurama 1x04 - Loves Labors Lost in Space Futurama 1x05 - Fear of a Bot Planet Futurama 1x06 - A Fishful of Dollars Futurama 1x07 - My Three Suns Futurama 1x08 - A Big Piece of Garbage Futurama 1x09 - Hell is Other Robots Futurama 2x01 - A Flight to Remember Futurama 2x02 - Mars University Futurama 2x03 - When Aliens Attack Futurama 2x04 - Fry and the Slurm Factory Futurama 3x01 - Amazon Women in the Mood Futurama 3x02 - Parasites Lost Futurama 3x03 - A Tale of Two Santas Futurama 3x04 - The Luck of the Fryrish Futurama 3x05 - The Birdbot of Ice-catraz Futurama 3x06 - Bendless Love Futurama 3x07 - The Day the Earth Stood Stupid Futurama 3x08 - Thats Lobstertainment Futurama 3x09 - The Cyber House Rules Futurama 3x10 - Insane in the Mainframe Futurama 3x10 - Where The Buggalo Roam Futurama 3x12 - The Route of All Evil Futurama 3x13 - Bendin in the Wind Futurama 3x14 - Time Keeps on Slippin Futurama 3x15 - I Dated a Robot Futurama 3x16 - A Leela of Her Own Futurama 3x17 - A Pharaoh To Remember Futurama 3x18 - Anthology of Interest Part 2 Futurama 3x19 - Roswell That Ends Well Futurama 3x20 - Godfellas Futurama 3x21 - Future Stock Futurama 3x22 - The 30 Iron Chef Futurama 4x01 - Kif Gets Knocked Up a Notch Futurama 4x02 - Leelas Homeworld Futurama 4x03 - Love and Rocket Futurama 4x04 - Less Than Hero Futurama 4x05 - A Taste of Freedom Futurama 4x06 - Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV Futurama 4x07 - Jurassic Bark Futurama 4x08 - Crimes of the Hot Futurama 4x09 - Teenage Mutant Leelas Hurdles Futurama 4x10 - The Why of Fry Futurama 4x11 - Where no Fan Has Gone Before Futurama 4x12 - The Sting Futurama 4x13 - Bend Her Futurama 4x14 - Obsoletely Fabulous Futurama 4x15 - The Farnsworth Parabox Futurama 4x16 - Three Hundred Big Boys Futurama 4x17 - Spanish Fry Futurama 4x18 - The Devils Hands are Idle Playthings Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD1 Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD2
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