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Frasier 02x13 - Retirement is Murder

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(Frasier) Ah, yes, another beautiful Saturday night.
The moon is full. The city lights are twinkling.
Lovers steal kisses in the park.
And here...
...chez Crane...
...my father and his assistant sit hunched
over 20-year-old photographs of a murdered hooker.
Life is a banquet.
l enjoy looking at this old case.
Just because you have no plans, don't spoil our harmless fun.
We Brits do love a grisly murder and a nice hot cup of tea.
Daphne, l'm busy, so if you don't mind...
l didn't know l was bothering you.
Sorry. lt's this damn case.
The answer to who murdered Helen is right here. l just can't see it.
You're obsessing. You stare at these grisly pictures endlessly.
Let's go and see a movie.
- No. - Pizza?
- Nah. - Let's get tattooed.
Oh! This is ridiculous! lt's a beautiful night.
l'm going to take a nice long walk.
And l'm not going by myself.
He likes the rhododendrons on the north side of the park.
(Woman) 'Dr Crane, thanks to your advice,
'l've conquered my fear of heights.
'l took it slowly, gradually going higher and higher
'until here l am, having lunch at the top of the Space Needle.'
- Marjorie, l'm so proud of you. - (Marjorie ) 'When l think of how l...'
(Marjorie screams)
- What happened? - 'l looked down.'
Look at your luncheon companions or your menu, but don't look down.
You're only feeding your fears.
'Maybe l'm not ready for a window table.'
No, no, of course you are. You can beat this thing.
'You're right. l can, Dr Crane, if l just...'
(Screams)
- Do not look down! - 'No, l didn't.
'My cheque just came.'
Well, Marjorie, we're out of time now. Call me tomorrow, will you?
That's it for today. Stay tuned for Bulldog Briscoe.
This is Dr Frasier Crane, KACL 780 Talk Radio.
- Hey, Doc. - Bulldog.
l caught some of your show today.
lf that whining chick called me, l'd say,
''lf you don't want people snapping your bra, don't wear one.''
Brilliant in its simplicity.
How does this sound, hard body?
You, me, Sonics, Knicks, tonight?
l'm already going. l have season tickets.
- We could get together afterwards. - Only if l smash into your car.
Why do the ones that want it the most put up the biggest struggle?
Because, when l do finally give in,
l want us to enjoy it all the more.
lf l'm not distracted by the fact that every man on earth has died.
Almost had her there.
Yes, it could have gone either way.
Well, l can get those any time l want.
- Hello, Frasier. - Bulldog, my brother, Niles.
- Niles, this is Bulldog Briscoe. - Just the man.
You can tell me why none of the local media
carry the lvy League squash standings.
Whoa! Another one just like you!
Some gypsy put a curse on your family?
- See you later, Miles. - lt's Niles.
Like it matters.
Are you ready for our boys' night out at Le Cochon Noir?
Yes. But, Niles, l've been wondering. Would you mind if Dad joined us?
Last time we took Dad to a four-star restaurant,
he had a miserable time and the restaurant lost a star.
l want to get him out. He's on one of his weeping lotus binges again.
We've taken him everywhere from the Arboretum to the Zen Garden.
Wait! The Zen Garden is at the Arboretum.
Have we only taken him one place?
- Oh, Niles, the basketball game! - Basketball?
Yes. l can get another ticket.
lmagine how excited Dad will be to go to a game with his two sons.
lt's the archetypal male bonding ritual.
Couldn't we just go into the woods and kill something?
- All right. - You can see the Tacoma Dome.
l've seen it. They had a home show there once.
That's where l got the idea to stencil the Welsh dresser.
l'm a teamster compared to you.
(Man) Peanuts! Peanuts!
Niles, the game's that way!
l'm calculating our escape route in case of fire or unrest.
- Maris taught me. - You love her, don't you?
- Yes, l do. Why? - lt helps to know that.
Here we are. One beer and two glasses of wine.
l'm sure it's good. They opened a fresh box when they poured it.
You ought to be drinking beer.
Dad, l only drink beer when l eat German food, which is to say never!
- Did you notice the facilities? - As you feared: communal urinals.
What do l do about my shy kidneys?
- Aren't these great seats? - Yeah.
- What's the matter? - Nothing. Lend me your pen.
- What for? - A note about that ballistics report.
We came here to get your mind off the case.
l've done some reading. lt seems the key for the Sonics
is to stop Starks from penetrating and dumping the ball off.
''Stop Starks''? That sounds funny: stop Starks, stop Starks...
Shut up!
- lt makes no sense! - l'm just quoting some sports writer.
No, Helen was tall, yet the bullet entered on a downward trajectory.
Dad, please try to participate. Look, they're starting a wave!
That was fun, wasn't it? There's a peanut guy. Peanut!
How dare you?
Niles... Stop it!
He's pelting me with peanuts See that tray! He's come prepared!
Stop it! That is for me!
- l got to make a call. - Not about the case?
- Yes. - You've been working on it for years.
Why are you so obsessed now?
l promised her mother that, however long it took, l'd find the killer.
She called me last week. She's an old lady living in a home somewhere.
She doesn't have a lot longer to go.
lt spurred me on to get it solved.
So l appreciate your bringing me here but l've got to make this call.
OK, Dad. l understand.
Boy, the traffic tonight is murder. Hey, pal, what's the score?
''West Side Story''.
This picture of the crime scene has always bugged me.
The way Helen's written ''help''. Why?
Well, l suppose the word ''howdy'' would have been a bit too cheery.
lt makes no sense. Anybody who could read it could see her lying there.
- Evening, Dad. - Thanks again for the ball game.
lt was a pleasure. l'm sorry you couldn't join us for dinner.
Le Cochon Noir gave us a fabulous dinner.
lt was marred only by the lack of even one outstanding cognac
on their carte des digestifs.
But think of it this way.
What's the one thing better than an exquisite meal?
An exquisite meal
with one tiny flaw we can pick at all night.
Quite right. To impossible standards!
- So, Dad, any progress on the case? - Nah, l'm beat.
Sometimes it's better to start fresh in the morning. Good night.
Brush your teeth, say your prayers.
l used to say that when you were kids, didn't l?
- No, you didn't. - Oh.
- l meant to. - We knew that.
- Hello. - Hello, Daphne!
- How was dinner? - Fine except for one tiny flaw.
Oh, just the way you like it.
l see you're intrigued.
lt's a while since l've gone over it.
- Who are these guys? - The principal players in the drama.
That's Detective Shelby, the cop who found the body.
Who is this menacing monobrow?
Robitaille, the logger, an ex-boyfriend of Helen's.
Every few months, they'd disappear together.
He's the murderer.
- He's got an airtight alibi. - What?
He was killing somebody else at the time.
But you have to admit this case has it all:
sex, greed, jealousy, revenge, a monkey, hatred, deception...
Wait, wait, wait! A monkey?
This is a snapshot of the murder victim with her pet monkey, Coco.
He was given to her by another boyfriend, Clive Brisbane.
- Why wasn't Brisbane a suspect? - He was.
Witnesses saw him at the racetrack at the time of the murder.
- Brisbane the animal trainer? - Yes. Brisbane's Amazing Apes.
They opened in Las Vegas for Engelbert Humperdinck.
You forget there was a time when Las Vegas wasn't tacky like now.
l once caught his act on a trip to Vegas during college.
Those apes were amazing!
They staged a tableau of Washington crossing the Delaware
and then shot suction-cup arrows at Brisbane's assistant's derrière.
You know...there is a way that Brisbane could be the killer
and still have his horse track alibi hold up.
Daphne, Niles...
l present you with... the killer!
- A monkey was the trigger man? - Play along with me.
They can shoot arrows. Why not a gun?
- Why would Brisbane have her killed? - Because, because...
- She jilted him for someone else! - Robitaille!
- Exactly! We've done it! - You've done it!
Yes, but you were standing very close by.
Wait a minute. Are we saying here
that a murder was committed by a monkey?
lt's not so very far fetched!
lt could be Brisbane's homage to Poe's ''Murders in the Rue Morgue''.
lt's about a murderous orang-utan in Paris.
Wait till we tell Dad. Dad!
No, Niles, wait! lt's still just a theory.
And how will Dad feel, knowing we've cracked a case he couldn't solve?
Oh, dear. You're right.
Wait! lt's serendipity that l stumbled into this. lt can happen again.
l'll rearrange the photos so that Dad will see the connection.
All right, we've got Coco, the gun and...Helen.
What is it? Oh, no, Frasier! What are you doing?
No, no. l've got these all set out the way l want them.
This one goes up...
l'll be damned!
Something wrong?
- Look at that! - What?
l never thought it would leap out and bite me like this.
l may have solved this case.
- You have? - Wonderful!
No. Don't get too excited. This is kind of far fetched.
lt's a long shot, but it's beginning to make sense.
- Lay it out. - Guys, please.
Give me a little privacy. l've got to think.
- No problem. - l was just going to bed. Night, all.
Good night, Daphne.
Do you see the sparkle in his eye? He's like a little kid at Christmas.
What happened to my entry-wound close-ups?
# Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la #
- Hello. ls Dad home? - Nope.
l haven't seen him since he knocked me up.
- What? - Knocked me up. Woke me up.
lt's an English expression. What does it mean here?
Oh, something else.
You'd definitely be awake for it, though.
He went to the station to present his theory.
l wish he hadn't. l've been turning it over in my mind all day.
The more l think about it, the goofier it sounds.
l mean, a monkey! l hope they didn't laugh him out of the station.
lt'd be one hell of an end to a 30-year career.
Now, now, Dr Crane. lt's not the most outlandish theory in the world.
You're right. Could have said it was a trained giraffe.
l suppose he killed her by spitting the bullet at her,
thus explaining the downward trajectory.
- Hey, guys. - Hi.
- Heard anything from the station? - Not yet.
l was afraid of that. l knew my theory was iffy,
but when l told the guys, they looked at me like l'd lost my mind.
- They didn't ridicule you? - No.
They treat old-timers with respect.
They said, ''l'll check it out'',
like l used to when some nut came in with aluminium foil in his hat,
claiming the Martians were stealing his brainwaves.
- l'm sorry. - l don't know what l was thinking of.
l've been trying to figure out how l came up with such a half-assed theory.
Dad... lt wasn't your fault. l did it.
You killed her?
No, but l planted that ridiculous idea in your head.
Remember when you were upset l was rearranging your pictures?
l rearranged them so that you would come to the same conclusion l did.
- So you had the idea first? - l feel terrible.
Don't blame yourself. You put the foil on my hat,
but l walked into the station wearing it.
(Doorbell)
l'll get it.
- Oh. - Hiya, Marty.
Hey, Frank! Frasier, Daphne, you remember Frank from the precinct.
- Marty, we've got to talk. - About that theory of mine...
- What were you thinking? - l know.
l feel so stupid wasting your time.
lt cost us a whole afternoon and five detectives' time.
All we've got to show for it is...
- We got the bastard! - l was right?
You don't believe me, ask these derelicts.
- Way to go, Marty! - Good to see you.
Marty, you've still got it. And it only took you 20 years.
- Mr Crane, l'm so proud of you! - That's wonderful!
Oh, that's suede!
- So Marty, how did you do it? - l thought it was Robitaille,
and then l thought maybe it was Brisbane, but l was wrong.
How did you finally decide it was Detective Shelby?
That picture kept bugging me.
Why was she trying to write ''help''?
Then it came to me: she wanted to write the killer's name, Shelby.
She died before she'd done the ''b'', someone kicked dirt over the ''s''.
You nailed him. We interrogated him. He cracked.
Sorry l doubted you, but you also wondered if a monkey could murder.
l may have momentarily doubted it, but l have to learn to trust my gift.
- Did you call the girl's mother? - No, you do it. You solved this.
l can't take all the credit for it, right, Frasier? Get over here.
- Oh, now, Dad... - Don't be shy. l'm proud of you!
l was a cop for 30 years and it took my son with his PhD mind to crack it.
Plus l was standing next to him at the time.
- So, tell us about it, Frasier. - Oh, no!
- Come on! - Well, all right, then.
l hate to toot my own horn, but if it'll make Dad happy...
lt was my expertise in human behaviour
combined with enthusiasm for the Rwandan gorilla,
that set me thinking about the monkey.
- l'm not sure l'm following you. - l'm going too fast. l'll go slower.
l figured out that, if Brisbane could teach a monkey
to impersonate Washington,
then he could teach a monkey to cock a revolver,
sneak up a fire escape, pump Helen full of lead, then get away,
perhaps wearing revolutionary war regalia to confuse witnesses.
ln fact - and this is way out there - but...
check if there were any local bank robberies at the time,
committed by a short, hairy man wearing a powdered wig.
You think the monkey was the killer?
When l said l was next to him,
l was really most of the way across the room.
- Well, wasn't he? - No, it was Shelby.
- Who's Shelby? - A cop. He was in love with Helen.
Oh.
Well, that was my second choice.
- Can l freshen anyone's drink? - Help me out, Frasier.
What was the monkey's motive?
Jealousy? Or maybe he just did it for the insurance money?
Hey! Do you think we should put a tail on that monkey?
Listen, if that monkey did it, he'll swing for this.
- Yes, that's all very funny. - You can take a joke, can't you?
l suppose l can, yes.
Wait! l've got one! Who will the monkey get to defend him?
Clarence Darrow!
The Scopes monkey trial.
You know, Darwin's theory of evolution.
lt was turned into a Pulitzer prize winning novel ''lnherit the Wind''.
ls that gun loaded?
# Hey baby, l hear the blues are calling tossed salads and scrambled eggs
# Oh, my!
# And maybe l seem a bit confused Yeah, maybe, but l got you pegged
# But l don't know what to do with those tossed salads and scrambled eggs
# They're calling again
# Scrambled egg's all over my face!
# What is a boy to do? #
Good night everybody!
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Friends - 10x09 - TOW the birth mother
Friends - 10x10 - TOW Chandler Gets Caught
Friends - 10x11 - TOW The Stripper Cries
Friends - 10x12 - TOW Phoebes Wedding
Friends - 10x13 - TOW Joey Speaks French
Friends - 10x14 - TOW Princess Consuela
Friends - 3 22 - The One With the Screamer
Friends - 3x01 - The One With the Princess Leia Fantasy
Friends - 3x02 - The One Where No Ones Ready
Friends - 3x03 - The One With the Jam
Friends - 3x04 - The One With the Metaphorical Tunnel
Friends - 3x05 - The One With Frank Jr
Friends - 3x06 - The One With the Flashback
Friends - 3x07 - The One With the Race Car Bed
Friends - 3x08 - The One With the Giant Poking Device
Friends - 3x09 - The One With the Football
Friends - 3x10 - The One Where Rachel Quits
Friends - 3x11 - The One Where Chandler Cant Remember
Friends - 3x12 - The One With All the Jealousy
Friends - 3x13 - The One Where Monica and Richard
Friends - 3x14 - The One With Phoebes Ex-Partner
Friends - 3x15 - The One Where Ross and Rachel Take
Friends - 3x16 - The One the Morning After
Friends - 3x17 - The One Without the Ski Trip
Friends - 3x18 - The One With the Hypnosis Tape
Friends - 3x19 - The One With the Tiny T-Shirt
Friends - 3x20 - The One With the Dollhouse
Friends - 3x21 - The One With a Chick and a Duck
Friends - 3x22 - The One With the Screamer
Friends - 3x23 - The One With Rosss Thing
Friends - 3x24 - The One With Ultimate Fighting Champ
Friends - 3x25 - The One at the Beach
Friends - 4x01 - The One With the Jellyfish
Friends - 4x02 - The One With the Cat
Friends - 4x03 - The One With the Cuffs
Friends - 4x04 - The One With the Ballroom Dancing
Friends - 4x05 - The One With Joeys New Girlfriend
Friends - 4x06 - The One With the Dirty Girl
Friends - 4x07 - The One Where Chandler Crosses
Friends - 4x08 - The One With Chandler in a Box
Friends - 4x09 - The One Where They are Going
Friends - 4x10 - The One With the Girl from
Friends - 4x11 - The One With Phoebes Uterus
Friends - 4x12 - The One With the Embryos
Friends - 4x13 - The One With Rachels Crush
Friends - 4x14 - The One With Joeys Dirty Day
Friends - 4x15 - The One With All the Rugby
Friends - 4x16 - The One With the Fake Party
Friends - 4x17 - The One With the Free Porn
Friends - 4x18 - The One With Rachels New Dress
Friends - 4x19 - The One With All the Haste
Friends - 4x20 - The One With All the Wedding Dresses
Friends - 4x21 - The One With the Invitation
Friends - 4x22 - The One With the Worst Best Man Ever
Friends - 4x23 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 1
Friends - 4x24 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 2
Friends - 5x01 - The One After Ross Says Rachel
Friends - 5x02 - The One With All the Kissing
Friends - 5x03 - The One Hundreth
Friends - 5x04 - The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS
Friends - 5x05 - The One With the Kips
Friends - 5x06 - The One With the Yeti
Friends - 5x07 - The One Where Ross Moves In
Friends - 5x08 - The One With All the Thanksgivins
Friends - 5x09 - The One With Rosss Sandwich
Friends - 5x10 - The One With the Inappropiate Sister
Friends - 5x11 - The One With All the Resolutions
Friends - 5x12 - The One With Chandlers Work Laugh
Friends - 5x13 - The One With Joeys Bag
Friends - 5x14 - The One Where Everyone Finds Out
Friends - 5x15 - The One With the Girl Who Hits Joey
Friends - 5x16 - The One With the Cop
Friends - 5x17 - The One With Rachels
Friends - 5x18 - The One Where Rachel Smokes
Friends - 5x19 - The One Where Ross Cant Flirt
Friends - 5x20 - The One With the Ride-Along
Friends - 5x21 - The One With the Ball
Friends - 5x22 - The One With Joeys Big Break
Friends - 5x23 - The One in Vegas
Friends - 6x01 - The One After Vegas
Friends - 6x02 - The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel
Friends - 6x03 - The One With Rosss Denial
Friends - 6x04 - The One Where Joey Loses His
Friends - 6x05 - The One With Joeys Porsche
Friends - 6x06 - The One On the Last Night
Friends - 6x07 - The One Where Phoebe Runs
Friends - 6x08 - The One With Rosss Teeth
Friends - 6x15
Friends 7x01 - The One with Monicas Thunder
Friends 7x02 - The One With Rachels Book
Friends 7x03 - The One With Phoebes Cookies
Friends 7x04 - The One With Rachels Assistant
Friends 7x05 - The One With The Engagement Picture
Friends 7x06 - The One With The Nap Partners
Friends 7x07 - The One with Rosss Library Book
Friends 7x08 - The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs
Friends 7x09 - The One With All the Candy
Friends 7x10 - The One With The Holiday Armadillo
Friends 7x11 - The One With All The Cheesecakes
Friends 7x12 - The One Where They are Up All Night
Friends 7x13 - The One Where Rosita Dies
Friends 7x14 - The One Where They All Turn Thirty
Friends 7x15 - The One With Joeys New Brain
Friends 7x16 - The One With the Truth About London
Friends 7x17 - The One With the Cheap Wedding Dress
Friends 7x18 - The One With Joeys Award
Friends 7x19 - The One With Ross and Monicas Cousin
Friends 7x20 - The One With Rachels Kisses
Friends 7x21 - The One With the Vows
Friends 7x22 - The One With Chandlers Dad
Friends 7x23 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 1
Friends 7x24 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 2
Friends 9x01 - The One Where No One Proposes
Friends 9x02 - The One Where Emma Cries
Friends 9x03 - The One With The Pediatrician
Friends 9x04 - The One With The Sharks
Friends 9x05 - The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner
Friends 9x06 - The One With The Male Nanny
Friends 9x07 - The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song
Friends 9x08 - The One With Rachels Other Sister
Friends 9x09 - The One With Rachels Phone Number
Friends 9x10 - The One With Christmas In Tulsa
Friends 9x11 - The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work
Friends 9x12 - The One With Phoebes Rats
Friends 9x13 - The One Where Monica Sings
Friends 9x14 - The One With The Blind Dates
Friends 9x15 - The One With The Mugging
Friends 9x16 - The One With The Boob Job
Friends 9x17 - The One With The Memorial Service
Friends 9x18 - The One With The Lottery
Friends 9x19 - The One With Rachels Dream
Friends 9x20 - The One With The Soap Opera Party
Friends 9x21 - The One With The Fertility Test
Friends 9x22 - The One With The Donor
Friends 9x23-24 - The One In Barbados 1 2)
Frisson des vampires Le
From Beijing with love
From Dusk Till Dawn
From Dusk Till Dawn 3 The Hangmans Daughter
From Hell
From Justin To Kelly (Special Edition)
Frontera La
Frusta e il corpo La
Fucking Amal
Fudoh The New Generation 1996
Fugitive The - The Chase Continues
Fugitives (2000)
Fukssvansen (Chop Chop)
Full Frontal 2002
Full Metal Jacket
Full Time Killer
Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD1
Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD2
Fun in Acapulco (Richard Thorpe 1963)
Funeral Parade of Roses
Funeral in Berlin
Funny Girl
Fuochi dArtifizio
Furia (2002)
Fury The (1978)
Futurama 1x01 - Space Pilot 3000
Futurama 1x02 - The Series Has Landed
Futurama 1x03 - I Roommate
Futurama 1x04 - Loves Labors Lost in Space
Futurama 1x05 - Fear of a Bot Planet
Futurama 1x06 - A Fishful of Dollars
Futurama 1x07 - My Three Suns
Futurama 1x08 - A Big Piece of Garbage
Futurama 1x09 - Hell is Other Robots
Futurama 2x01 - A Flight to Remember
Futurama 2x02 - Mars University
Futurama 2x03 - When Aliens Attack
Futurama 2x04 - Fry and the Slurm Factory
Futurama 3x01 - Amazon Women in the Mood
Futurama 3x02 - Parasites Lost
Futurama 3x03 - A Tale of Two Santas
Futurama 3x04 - The Luck of the Fryrish
Futurama 3x05 - The Birdbot of Ice-catraz
Futurama 3x06 - Bendless Love
Futurama 3x07 - The Day the Earth Stood Stupid
Futurama 3x08 - Thats Lobstertainment
Futurama 3x09 - The Cyber House Rules
Futurama 3x10 - Insane in the Mainframe
Futurama 3x10 - Where The Buggalo Roam
Futurama 3x12 - The Route of All Evil
Futurama 3x13 - Bendin in the Wind
Futurama 3x14 - Time Keeps on Slippin
Futurama 3x15 - I Dated a Robot
Futurama 3x16 - A Leela of Her Own
Futurama 3x17 - A Pharaoh To Remember
Futurama 3x18 - Anthology of Interest Part 2
Futurama 3x19 - Roswell That Ends Well
Futurama 3x20 - Godfellas
Futurama 3x21 - Future Stock
Futurama 3x22 - The 30 Iron Chef
Futurama 4x01 - Kif Gets Knocked Up a Notch
Futurama 4x02 - Leelas Homeworld
Futurama 4x03 - Love and Rocket
Futurama 4x04 - Less Than Hero
Futurama 4x05 - A Taste of Freedom
Futurama 4x06 - Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV
Futurama 4x07 - Jurassic Bark
Futurama 4x08 - Crimes of the Hot
Futurama 4x09 - Teenage Mutant Leelas Hurdles
Futurama 4x10 - The Why of Fry
Futurama 4x11 - Where no Fan Has Gone Before
Futurama 4x12 - The Sting
Futurama 4x13 - Bend Her
Futurama 4x14 - Obsoletely Fabulous
Futurama 4x15 - The Farnsworth Parabox
Futurama 4x16 - Three Hundred Big Boys
Futurama 4x17 - Spanish Fry
Futurama 4x18 - The Devils Hands are Idle Playthings
Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD1
Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD2