Frasier 02x13 - Retirement is Murder
(Frasier) Ah, yes,
another beautiful Saturday night.
The moon is full.
The city lights are twinkling.
Lovers steal kisses in the park.
And here...
...chez Crane...
...my father and his assistant
sit hunched
over 20-year-old photographs
of a murdered hooker.
Life is a banquet.
l enjoy looking at this old case.
Just because you have no plans,
don't spoil our harmless fun.
We Brits do love a grisly murder
and a nice hot cup of tea.
Daphne, l'm busy, so if you don't mind...
l didn't know l was bothering you.
Sorry. lt's this damn case.
The answer to who murdered Helen
is right here. l just can't see it.
You're obsessing. You stare
at these grisly pictures endlessly.
Let's go and see a movie.
- No.
- Pizza?
- Nah.
- Let's get tattooed.
Oh! This is ridiculous!
lt's a beautiful night.
l'm going to take a nice long walk.
And l'm not going by myself.
He likes the rhododendrons
on the north side of the park.
(Woman) 'Dr Crane,
thanks to your advice,
'l've conquered my fear of heights.
'l took it slowly,
gradually going higher and higher
'until here l am, having lunch
at the top of the Space Needle.'
- Marjorie, l'm so proud of you.
- (Marjorie ) 'When l think of how l...'
(Marjorie screams)
- What happened?
- 'l looked down.'
Look at your luncheon companions
or your menu, but don't look down.
You're only feeding your fears.
'Maybe l'm not ready
for a window table.'
No, no, of course you are.
You can beat this thing.
'You're right.
l can, Dr Crane, if l just...'
(Screams)
- Do not look down!
- 'No, l didn't.
'My cheque just came.'
Well, Marjorie, we're out of time now.
Call me tomorrow, will you?
That's it for today.
Stay tuned for Bulldog Briscoe.
This is Dr Frasier Crane,
KACL 780 Talk Radio.
- Hey, Doc.
- Bulldog.
l caught some of your show today.
lf that whining chick called me,
l'd say,
''lf you don't want people snapping
your bra, don't wear one.''
Brilliant in its simplicity.
How does this sound, hard body?
You, me, Sonics, Knicks, tonight?
l'm already going.
l have season tickets.
- We could get together afterwards.
- Only if l smash into your car.
Why do the ones that want it the most
put up the biggest struggle?
Because, when l do finally give in,
l want us to enjoy it all the more.
lf l'm not distracted by the fact
that every man on earth has died.
Almost had her there.
Yes, it could have gone either way.
Well, l can get those any time l want.
- Hello, Frasier.
- Bulldog, my brother, Niles.
- Niles, this is Bulldog Briscoe.
- Just the man.
You can tell me why
none of the local media
carry the lvy League squash standings.
Whoa! Another one just like you!
Some gypsy
put a curse on your family?
- See you later, Miles.
- lt's Niles.
Like it matters.
Are you ready for our boys' night out
at Le Cochon Noir?
Yes. But, Niles, l've been wondering.
Would you mind if Dad joined us?
Last time we took Dad
to a four-star restaurant,
he had a miserable time
and the restaurant lost a star.
l want to get him out. He's on one
of his weeping lotus binges again.
We've taken him everywhere
from the Arboretum to the Zen Garden.
Wait!
The Zen Garden is at the Arboretum.
Have we only taken him one place?
- Oh, Niles, the basketball game!
- Basketball?
Yes. l can get another ticket.
lmagine how excited Dad will be
to go to a game with his two sons.
lt's the archetypal male bonding ritual.
Couldn't we just go into the woods
and kill something?
- All right.
- You can see the Tacoma Dome.
l've seen it.
They had a home show there once.
That's where l got the idea
to stencil the Welsh dresser.
l'm a teamster compared to you.
(Man) Peanuts! Peanuts!
Niles, the game's that way!
l'm calculating our escape route
in case of fire or unrest.
- Maris taught me.
- You love her, don't you?
- Yes, l do. Why?
- lt helps to know that.
Here we are.
One beer and two glasses of wine.
l'm sure it's good. They opened
a fresh box when they poured it.
You ought to be drinking beer.
Dad, l only drink beer when l eat
German food, which is to say never!
- Did you notice the facilities?
- As you feared: communal urinals.
What do l do about my shy kidneys?
- Aren't these great seats?
- Yeah.
- What's the matter?
- Nothing. Lend me your pen.
- What for?
- A note about that ballistics report.
We came here
to get your mind off the case.
l've done some reading.
lt seems the key for the Sonics
is to stop Starks from penetrating
and dumping the ball off.
''Stop Starks''? That sounds funny:
stop Starks, stop Starks...
Shut up!
- lt makes no sense!
- l'm just quoting some sports writer.
No, Helen was tall, yet the bullet
entered on a downward trajectory.
Dad, please try to participate.
Look, they're starting a wave!
That was fun, wasn't it?
There's a peanut guy. Peanut!
How dare you?
Niles... Stop it!
He's pelting me with peanuts
See that tray! He's come prepared!
Stop it! That is for me!
- l got to make a call.
- Not about the case?
- Yes.
- You've been working on it for years.
Why are you so obsessed now?
l promised her mother that,
however long it took, l'd find the killer.
She called me last week. She's an
old lady living in a home somewhere.
She doesn't have a lot longer to go.
lt spurred me on to get it solved.
So l appreciate your bringing me here
but l've got to make this call.
OK, Dad. l understand.
Boy, the traffic tonight is murder.
Hey, pal, what's the score?
''West Side Story''.
This picture of the crime scene
has always bugged me.
The way Helen's written ''help''.
Why?
Well, l suppose the word ''howdy''
would have been a bit too cheery.
lt makes no sense. Anybody who could
read it could see her lying there.
- Evening, Dad.
- Thanks again for the ball game.
lt was a pleasure. l'm sorry
you couldn't join us for dinner.
Le Cochon Noir
gave us a fabulous dinner.
lt was marred only by the lack
of even one outstanding cognac
on their carte des digestifs.
But think of it this way.
What's the one thing better
than an exquisite meal?
An exquisite meal
with one tiny flaw
we can pick at all night.
Quite right.
To impossible standards!
- So, Dad, any progress on the case?
- Nah, l'm beat.
Sometimes it's better to start fresh
in the morning. Good night.
Brush your teeth, say your prayers.
l used to say that
when you were kids, didn't l?
- No, you didn't.
- Oh.
- l meant to.
- We knew that.
- Hello.
- Hello, Daphne!
- How was dinner?
- Fine except for one tiny flaw.
Oh, just the way you like it.
l see you're intrigued.
lt's a while since l've gone over it.
- Who are these guys?
- The principal players in the drama.
That's Detective Shelby,
the cop who found the body.
Who is this menacing monobrow?
Robitaille, the logger,
an ex-boyfriend of Helen's.
Every few months,
they'd disappear together.
He's the murderer.
- He's got an airtight alibi.
- What?
He was killing somebody else
at the time.
But you have to admit
this case has it all:
sex, greed, jealousy, revenge,
a monkey, hatred, deception...
Wait, wait, wait! A monkey?
This is a snapshot of the murder
victim with her pet monkey, Coco.
He was given to her by
another boyfriend, Clive Brisbane.
- Why wasn't Brisbane a suspect?
- He was.
Witnesses saw him at the racetrack
at the time of the murder.
- Brisbane the animal trainer?
- Yes. Brisbane's Amazing Apes.
They opened in Las Vegas
for Engelbert Humperdinck.
You forget there was a time
when Las Vegas wasn't tacky like now.
l once caught his act
on a trip to Vegas during college.
Those apes were amazing!
They staged a tableau
of Washington crossing the Delaware
and then shot suction-cup arrows
at Brisbane's assistant's derrière.
You know...there is a way
that Brisbane could be the killer
and still have
his horse track alibi hold up.
Daphne, Niles...
l present you with...
the killer!
- A monkey was the trigger man?
- Play along with me.
They can shoot arrows.
Why not a gun?
- Why would Brisbane have her killed?
- Because, because...
- She jilted him for someone else!
- Robitaille!
- Exactly! We've done it!
- You've done it!
Yes, but you were standing
very close by.
Wait a minute. Are we saying here
that a murder was committed
by a monkey?
lt's not so very far fetched!
lt could be Brisbane's homage
to Poe's ''Murders in the Rue Morgue''.
lt's about a murderous orang-utan
in Paris.
Wait till we tell Dad. Dad!
No, Niles, wait! lt's still just a theory.
And how will Dad feel, knowing we've
cracked a case he couldn't solve?
Oh, dear. You're right.
Wait! lt's serendipity that l stumbled
into this. lt can happen again.
l'll rearrange the photos
so that Dad will see the connection.
All right, we've got Coco,
the gun and...Helen.
What is it? Oh, no, Frasier!
What are you doing?
No, no. l've got these all set out
the way l want them.
This one goes up...
l'll be damned!
Something wrong?
- Look at that!
- What?
l never thought it would leap out
and bite me like this.
l may have solved this case.
- You have?
- Wonderful!
No. Don't get too excited.
This is kind of far fetched.
lt's a long shot,
but it's beginning to make sense.
- Lay it out.
- Guys, please.
Give me a little privacy.
l've got to think.
- No problem.
- l was just going to bed. Night, all.
Good night, Daphne.
Do you see the sparkle in his eye?
He's like a little kid at Christmas.
What happened
to my entry-wound close-ups?
# Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la #
- Hello. ls Dad home?
- Nope.
l haven't seen him
since he knocked me up.
- What?
- Knocked me up. Woke me up.
lt's an English expression.
What does it mean here?
Oh, something else.
You'd definitely be awake for it, though.
He went to the station
to present his theory.
l wish he hadn't. l've been
turning it over in my mind all day.
The more l think about it,
the goofier it sounds.
l mean, a monkey! l hope they
didn't laugh him out of the station.
lt'd be one hell of an end
to a 30-year career.
Now, now, Dr Crane. lt's not the most
outlandish theory in the world.
You're right. Could have said
it was a trained giraffe.
l suppose he killed her
by spitting the bullet at her,
thus explaining
the downward trajectory.
- Hey, guys.
- Hi.
- Heard anything from the station?
- Not yet.
l was afraid of that.
l knew my theory was iffy,
but when l told the guys,
they looked at me like l'd lost my mind.
- They didn't ridicule you?
- No.
They treat old-timers with respect.
They said, ''l'll check it out'',
like l used to when some nut came in
with aluminium foil in his hat,
claiming the Martians
were stealing his brainwaves.
- l'm sorry.
- l don't know what l was thinking of.
l've been trying to figure out how
l came up with such a half-assed theory.
Dad... lt wasn't your fault. l did it.
You killed her?
No, but l planted that ridiculous idea
in your head.
Remember when you were upset
l was rearranging your pictures?
l rearranged them so that you would
come to the same conclusion l did.
- So you had the idea first?
- l feel terrible.
Don't blame yourself.
You put the foil on my hat,
but l walked into the station wearing it.
(Doorbell)
l'll get it.
- Oh.
- Hiya, Marty.
Hey, Frank! Frasier, Daphne,
you remember Frank from the precinct.
- Marty, we've got to talk.
- About that theory of mine...
- What were you thinking?
- l know.
l feel so stupid wasting your time.
lt cost us a whole afternoon
and five detectives' time.
All we've got to show for it is...
- We got the bastard!
- l was right?
You don't believe me,
ask these derelicts.
- Way to go, Marty!
- Good to see you.
Marty, you've still got it.
And it only took you 20 years.
- Mr Crane, l'm so proud of you!
- That's wonderful!
Oh, that's suede!
- So Marty, how did you do it?
- l thought it was Robitaille,
and then l thought maybe
it was Brisbane, but l was wrong.
How did you finally decide
it was Detective Shelby?
That picture kept bugging me.
Why was she trying to write ''help''?
Then it came to me: she wanted
to write the killer's name, Shelby.
She died before she'd done the ''b'',
someone kicked dirt over the ''s''.
You nailed him.
We interrogated him. He cracked.
Sorry l doubted you, but you also
wondered if a monkey could murder.
l may have momentarily doubted it,
but l have to learn to trust my gift.
- Did you call the girl's mother?
- No, you do it. You solved this.
l can't take all the credit for it,
right, Frasier? Get over here.
- Oh, now, Dad...
- Don't be shy. l'm proud of you!
l was a cop for 30 years and it took
my son with his PhD mind to crack it.
Plus l was standing next to him
at the time.
- So, tell us about it, Frasier.
- Oh, no!
- Come on!
- Well, all right, then.
l hate to toot my own horn,
but if it'll make Dad happy...
lt was my expertise
in human behaviour
combined with enthusiasm
for the Rwandan gorilla,
that set me thinking about the monkey.
- l'm not sure l'm following you.
- l'm going too fast. l'll go slower.
l figured out that,
if Brisbane could teach a monkey
to impersonate Washington,
then he could teach a monkey
to cock a revolver,
sneak up a fire escape, pump Helen
full of lead, then get away,
perhaps wearing revolutionary
war regalia to confuse witnesses.
ln fact - and this is way out there - but...
check if there were
any local bank robberies at the time,
committed by a short, hairy man
wearing a powdered wig.
You think the monkey was the killer?
When l said l was next to him,
l was really most of the way
across the room.
- Well, wasn't he?
- No, it was Shelby.
- Who's Shelby?
- A cop. He was in love with Helen.
Oh.
Well, that was my second choice.
- Can l freshen anyone's drink?
- Help me out, Frasier.
What was the monkey's motive?
Jealousy? Or maybe he just did it
for the insurance money?
Hey! Do you think we should
put a tail on that monkey?
Listen, if that monkey did it,
he'll swing for this.
- Yes, that's all very funny.
- You can take a joke, can't you?
l suppose l can, yes.
Wait! l've got one!
Who will the monkey get to defend him?
Clarence Darrow!
The Scopes monkey trial.
You know,
Darwin's theory of evolution.
lt was turned into a Pulitzer prize
winning novel ''lnherit the Wind''.
ls that gun loaded?
# Hey baby, l hear the blues are calling
tossed salads and scrambled eggs
# Oh, my!
# And maybe l seem a bit confused
Yeah, maybe, but l got you pegged
# But l don't know what to do with those
tossed salads and scrambled eggs
# They're calling again
# Scrambled egg's all over my face!
# What is a boy to do? #
Good night everybody!
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3x08 - The One With the Giant Poking Device Friends - 3x09 - The One With the Football Friends - 3x10 - The One Where Rachel Quits Friends - 3x11 - The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Friends - 3x12 - The One With All the Jealousy Friends - 3x13 - The One Where Monica and Richard Friends - 3x14 - The One With Phoebes Ex-Partner Friends - 3x15 - The One Where Ross and Rachel Take Friends - 3x16 - The One the Morning After Friends - 3x17 - The One Without the Ski Trip Friends - 3x18 - The One With the Hypnosis Tape Friends - 3x19 - The One With the Tiny T-Shirt Friends - 3x20 - The One With the Dollhouse Friends - 3x21 - The One With a Chick and a Duck Friends - 3x22 - The One With the Screamer Friends - 3x23 - The One With Rosss Thing Friends - 3x24 - The One With Ultimate Fighting Champ Friends - 3x25 - The One at the Beach Friends - 4x01 - The One With the Jellyfish Friends - 4x02 - The One With the Cat Friends - 4x03 - The One With the Cuffs Friends - 4x04 - The One With the Ballroom Dancing Friends - 4x05 - The One With Joeys New Girlfriend Friends - 4x06 - The One With the Dirty Girl Friends - 4x07 - The One Where Chandler Crosses Friends - 4x08 - The One With Chandler in a Box Friends - 4x09 - The One Where They are Going Friends - 4x10 - The One With the Girl from Friends - 4x11 - The One With Phoebes Uterus Friends - 4x12 - The One With the Embryos Friends - 4x13 - The One With Rachels Crush Friends - 4x14 - The One With Joeys Dirty Day Friends - 4x15 - The One With All the Rugby Friends - 4x16 - The One With the Fake Party Friends - 4x17 - The One With the Free Porn Friends - 4x18 - The One With Rachels New Dress Friends - 4x19 - The One With All the Haste Friends - 4x20 - The One With All the Wedding Dresses Friends - 4x21 - The One With the Invitation Friends - 4x22 - The One With the Worst Best Man Ever Friends - 4x23 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 1 Friends - 4x24 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 2 Friends - 5x01 - The One After Ross Says Rachel Friends - 5x02 - The One With All the Kissing Friends - 5x03 - The One Hundreth Friends - 5x04 - The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS Friends - 5x05 - The One With the Kips Friends - 5x06 - The One With the Yeti Friends - 5x07 - The One Where Ross Moves In Friends - 5x08 - The One With All the Thanksgivins Friends - 5x09 - The One With Rosss Sandwich Friends - 5x10 - The One With the Inappropiate Sister Friends - 5x11 - The One With All the Resolutions Friends - 5x12 - The One With Chandlers Work Laugh Friends - 5x13 - The One With Joeys Bag Friends - 5x14 - The One Where Everyone Finds Out Friends - 5x15 - The One With the Girl Who Hits Joey Friends - 5x16 - The One With the Cop Friends - 5x17 - The One With Rachels Friends - 5x18 - The One Where Rachel Smokes Friends - 5x19 - The One Where Ross Cant Flirt Friends - 5x20 - The One With the Ride-Along Friends - 5x21 - The One With the Ball Friends - 5x22 - The One With Joeys Big Break Friends - 5x23 - The One in Vegas Friends - 6x01 - The One After Vegas Friends - 6x02 - The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel Friends - 6x03 - The One With Rosss Denial Friends - 6x04 - The One Where Joey Loses His Friends - 6x05 - The One With Joeys Porsche Friends - 6x06 - The One On the Last Night Friends - 6x07 - The One Where Phoebe Runs Friends - 6x08 - The One With Rosss Teeth Friends - 6x15 Friends 7x01 - The One with Monicas Thunder Friends 7x02 - The One With Rachels Book Friends 7x03 - The One With Phoebes Cookies Friends 7x04 - The One With Rachels Assistant Friends 7x05 - The One With The Engagement Picture Friends 7x06 - The One With The Nap Partners Friends 7x07 - The One with Rosss Library Book Friends 7x08 - The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs Friends 7x09 - The One With All the Candy Friends 7x10 - The One With The Holiday Armadillo Friends 7x11 - The One With All The Cheesecakes Friends 7x12 - The One Where They are Up All Night Friends 7x13 - The One Where Rosita Dies Friends 7x14 - The One Where They All Turn Thirty Friends 7x15 - The One With Joeys New Brain Friends 7x16 - The One With the Truth About London Friends 7x17 - The One With the Cheap Wedding Dress Friends 7x18 - The One With Joeys Award Friends 7x19 - The One With Ross and Monicas Cousin Friends 7x20 - The One With Rachels Kisses Friends 7x21 - The One With the Vows Friends 7x22 - The One With Chandlers Dad Friends 7x23 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 1 Friends 7x24 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 2 Friends 9x01 - The One Where No One Proposes Friends 9x02 - The One Where Emma Cries Friends 9x03 - The One With The Pediatrician Friends 9x04 - The One With The Sharks Friends 9x05 - The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner Friends 9x06 - The One With The Male Nanny Friends 9x07 - The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song Friends 9x08 - The One With Rachels Other Sister Friends 9x09 - The One With Rachels Phone Number Friends 9x10 - The One With Christmas In Tulsa Friends 9x11 - The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work Friends 9x12 - The One With Phoebes Rats Friends 9x13 - The One Where Monica Sings Friends 9x14 - The One With The Blind Dates Friends 9x15 - The One With The Mugging Friends 9x16 - The One With The Boob Job Friends 9x17 - The One With The Memorial Service Friends 9x18 - The One With The Lottery Friends 9x19 - The One With Rachels Dream Friends 9x20 - The One With The Soap Opera Party Friends 9x21 - The One With The Fertility Test Friends 9x22 - The One With The Donor Friends 9x23-24 - The One In Barbados 1 2) Frisson des vampires Le From Beijing with love From Dusk Till Dawn From Dusk Till Dawn 3 The Hangmans Daughter From Hell From Justin To Kelly (Special Edition) Frontera La Frusta e il corpo La Fucking Amal Fudoh The New Generation 1996 Fugitive The - The Chase Continues Fugitives (2000) Fukssvansen (Chop Chop) Full Frontal 2002 Full Metal Jacket Full Time Killer Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD1 Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD2 Fun in Acapulco (Richard Thorpe 1963) Funeral Parade of Roses Funeral in Berlin Funny Girl Fuochi dArtifizio Furia (2002) Fury The (1978) Futurama 1x01 - Space Pilot 3000 Futurama 1x02 - The Series Has Landed Futurama 1x03 - I Roommate Futurama 1x04 - Loves Labors Lost in Space Futurama 1x05 - Fear of a Bot Planet Futurama 1x06 - A Fishful of Dollars Futurama 1x07 - My Three Suns Futurama 1x08 - A Big Piece of Garbage Futurama 1x09 - Hell is Other Robots Futurama 2x01 - A Flight to Remember Futurama 2x02 - Mars University Futurama 2x03 - When Aliens Attack Futurama 2x04 - Fry and the Slurm Factory Futurama 3x01 - Amazon Women in the Mood Futurama 3x02 - Parasites Lost Futurama 3x03 - A Tale of Two Santas Futurama 3x04 - The Luck of the Fryrish Futurama 3x05 - The Birdbot of Ice-catraz Futurama 3x06 - Bendless Love Futurama 3x07 - The Day the Earth Stood Stupid Futurama 3x08 - Thats Lobstertainment Futurama 3x09 - The Cyber House Rules Futurama 3x10 - Insane in the Mainframe Futurama 3x10 - Where The Buggalo Roam Futurama 3x12 - The Route of All Evil Futurama 3x13 - Bendin in the Wind Futurama 3x14 - Time Keeps on Slippin Futurama 3x15 - I Dated a Robot Futurama 3x16 - A Leela of Her Own Futurama 3x17 - A Pharaoh To Remember Futurama 3x18 - Anthology of Interest Part 2 Futurama 3x19 - Roswell That Ends Well Futurama 3x20 - Godfellas Futurama 3x21 - Future Stock Futurama 3x22 - The 30 Iron Chef Futurama 4x01 - Kif Gets Knocked Up a Notch Futurama 4x02 - Leelas Homeworld Futurama 4x03 - Love and Rocket Futurama 4x04 - Less Than Hero Futurama 4x05 - A Taste of Freedom Futurama 4x06 - Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV Futurama 4x07 - Jurassic Bark Futurama 4x08 - Crimes of the Hot Futurama 4x09 - Teenage Mutant Leelas Hurdles Futurama 4x10 - The Why of Fry Futurama 4x11 - Where no Fan Has Gone Before Futurama 4x12 - The Sting Futurama 4x13 - Bend Her Futurama 4x14 - Obsoletely Fabulous Futurama 4x15 - The Farnsworth Parabox Futurama 4x16 - Three Hundred Big Boys Futurama 4x17 - Spanish Fry Futurama 4x18 - The Devils Hands are Idle Playthings Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD1 Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD2
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