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Frasier 02x03 - The Matchmaker

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(Fire alarm beeps)
Oh, my God! Fire, fire!
Eddie, where are you, boy?
- Dad, wake up! Are you in there? - Here, Eddie!
Dad, where are you?
- Have you seen Eddie? - No! Where is the fire?
lt's all right! False alarm!
The one over my bed went off.
- Thank God. - And Eddie's back in my room.
The noise it makes!
lt would be less upsetting to wake up on fire.
- What triggered it? - Who knows?
l was dozing when it started screaming away for no reason.
l see. What have we here?
Eddie, you've been smoking in Daphne's room! Bad dog!
l know you have a no-smoking rule. l'm sorry.
Every now and again, l feel a bit tense and l find a ciggy can be soothing.
Real soothing! lt should be an hour until my heart stops fibrillating.
lt figures. 3:00 am, on the night before l have an early meeting.
Aren't you going back to bed?
No. l'll just sit up for a bit.
- l'm feeling a bit blue. - Anything you'd like to talk about?
No. You need your sleep. lt's nothing important.
Just that my life's a gaping sinkhole
and l'm marking time while the flower of my youth rots on the vine.
Well, so long as you're sure.
l really wish you'd tell me about it.
- lf you must know, it's my love life. - Really? Have you been seeing a man?
Only when l close my eyes and concentrate.
- Going through a bit of a drought? - Small wonder.
The rare times l do go out, it's with your father.
People assume l'm his daughter or his girlfriend.
Either way, it's like having a personal can of stud repellent.
l know how bleak these times can be, but they end sooner or later.
l remember a time when l was going through the same.
Just a week later, l met a lovely barmaid.
Sophisticated, if a bit loquacious.
We fell madly in love. We got engaged.
She left me standing at the altar but the point is, l didn't give up.
l took my poor, battered heart and offered it to Lilith.
Put it in her food processor and hit the purée button.
l rebounded, and look how far l've come.
l'm divorced, lonely... living with my father.
You missed your meeting with the new station manager.
Oh, no! l completely forgot.
You look like you've been ridden hard and put away wet.
l was up with Daphne, competing to see whose love life was more pathetic.
On the bright side, l won.
l know what your problems are. What are hers?
She's just having trouble finding men.
- Say no more. - No, Roz, please.
You do not have to donate one of your boyfriends.
- l'd be happy to. - One hates to break up a collection.
Triple espresso and my mocha latte.
- Does that chocolate look different? - No.
l think they've switched to an inferior domestic brand.
Waxy.
- Sven Bachman, an aerobics coach. - No.
This one's perfect. Günther Dietrich. He's loads of fun and he's a model.
A German narcissist. Appealing combination.
- OK. l'll keep looking. - For what?
A man for Daphne.
- What? - Here we go.
He's a tennis instructor called Brick.
Dear God, Frasier! Sven, Günther, Brick?
Why not just soak Daphne in baby oil and hurl her over the prison wall?
l've dated all these guys.
Where do you think l came up with the imagery?
Listen, you little titmouse...
Niles, you are out of line here. And, Roz, he does have a point.
You and Daphne are different.
Daphne is very shy and inexperienced.
You are... You'd be hard-pressed to find anyone who's more...
No one l've dated is good enough for her. ls that what you're trying to say?
No. That's what l'm trying not to say.
- l'm out of here. - Wait!
No, l can't stay! The fleet is in!
(High-pitched electronic whine )
And this concludes our test of the emergency broadcast system.
ln a real emergency, your radio would be melting in your hands.
We'll be right back after these messages.
ln future, please keep your half-eaten food off my console.
- ln fact, stay out of my sight. - You're still mad. l can tell.
There's that sensitivity that keeps you in such demand with the ladies.
Roz, l'm sorry if l insulted you,
but l feel very protective about Daphne.
The man l'm looking for has to be good-looking, smart...
- Excuse me. - Yes?
- l'm Tom Duran, the new manager. - Pleasure to meet you.
Sorry about the meeting. l slept through it.
Yeah, me too, and l was there. Say, that's a beautiful tie.
l got this in London at one of those custom shops off Sloane Square.
l just came from London. Five years with the BBC.
Really? l love London. The museums, the theatre.
Yeah. l'm a big theatre buff. l hated leaving.
- Why did you? - l just went through a messy break-up.
l thought l'd sleep better with a continent between us.
Yes, l know the feeling.
So... l take it then you are unattached?
Yes, but l haven't given up hope.
- You may be in the right place. - Really?
Yes.
- You're fond of the English? - Yes.
l have a weakness for people who are a bit eccentric.
- Really? - 1 5 seconds.
- Nice meeting you. - Likewise.
Tom, this may sound like short notice
but if you're free Saturday, come for dinner.
- Thanks. l'd like that. - Great!
Hello, Seattle. We're back. Roz, whom do we have next?
(Roz) James from Tacoma on line one.
Hello, James. l'm listening.
- Hey, Roz. - Hey, Tom.
Every job l take, word spreads like wildfire.
- What's that? - Oh, you know.
Tell one or two people you're gay and it's all over the station.
Well, they don't call it broadcasting for nothing.
- He seems like a nice guy. - He's OK.
l hope he's more than OK. He just asked me out on a date.
- Frasier asked you out on a date? - He asked me round for dinner.
What's his favourite wine?
- You should know... - What?
- He's nuts about Chardonnay. - Thanks.
Does he ask permission first? No, he sets me up
and l'm supposed to turn cartwheels like l'm Cinderella.
l told you, this is not a setup. Tom doesn't even know you'll be here.
Oh, an ambush, then. Much nicer.
My friends in Manchester used to set me up.
Always some gangly bounder with a long reach
and he wasn't going for the Colman's mustard!
Tom is just a co-worker coming by for a pleasant dinner.
lf some spark ignites, fine, but there is no pressure.
- ls that what you're wearing? - Why? What's wrong with it?
(Doorbell)
What about something with more oomph?
What about that strapless number?
Do you have any idea how uncomfortable a strapless bra is?
Thanks to my fraternity days, as a matter of fact, l do.
Tom, come in! Good to see you.
- l thought you'd like Chardonnay. - Oh, my! That's my favourite.
- Like the place? - lt's a hell of a view.
lt's even better from the bedroom.
Why don't we just start with a drink?
- Four places. Who's joining us? - Just my little household.
My father and his physical therapist, charming Daphne.
You live with your dad?
l can't imagine that. lt's great you get along,
but doesn't having him here kind of cramp your love life?
Not at all. Except when l bring my dates home, he tries to steal them.
He's quite the old rascal.
- Good evening. - Oh, look who we have here!
Tom, l'd like you to meet Daphne. Daphne, this is Tom Duran.
- lt's a pleasure. - Likewise.
Dr Crane, you didn't take his coat. May l?
(lnaudible )
Ooh, this is strange! l'm picking up a vibration from your coat.
- Excuse me? - She feels she has psychic powers.
- You know those English eccentrics. - You've just had a painful break-up.
- Yes. You told her that! - No.
A bitter dispute over opera recordings.
Excuse me. l'll nip into the kitchen. l have a bird to baste.
- Quite something, huh? - She's great! l love that accent!
Frasier, l don't have to put a tie on for this joker, do l?
- Tom, my father, Martin Crane. - Nice to meet you.
Sorry about that ''joker'' business. l call everybody joker. Or jerk.
Pinhead. Bozo.
Amazingly, he's free for dinner on short notice.
Why don't l just open this wine?
- Well? - Oh, he's a looker!
l'm glad to have my lucky bra.
He's worth every wire digging into my rib cage.
He thinks you're great, too.
Oh, go on! Oh, God!
Listen to me getting carried away like a schoolgirl!
No, l'm not raising my hopes tonight.
Though l'm glad l raised my bosom.
You'll love Seattle. lt's a real people place.
- Good food, great bars. - Any you recommend?
l hang out at Duke's. Great crowd. Lot of young cops.
- You like football? - Yeah! l missed it in London.
We could see a game. Frasier hates it, so it would just be us.
Hey, Frasier warned me about you.
Yeah, l guess l yell at the players too loud.
Here we are. Tom...
Dad, l selected a little vintage for you, too.
l didn't bring the pull-tab for you to sniff.
Merci beaucoup.
(Doorbell rings)
Excuse me.
- Oh, Niles. - Hello, Frasier. Oh, thank you.
- l'm just returning your book. - Thank you. Don't let me keep you.
- Am l interrupting something? - l'm introducing a man to Daphne.
- l guess you don't want me around. - Thank you.
How do you do?
- l'm Dr Niles Crane. - l'm Tom Duran.
The bird's done. All l need is strong arms to haul it out.
l don't need to be asked twice.
During the interview, her stomach rumbles and her body mic picks it up.
But what can l say?
''Excuse me, would Her Majesty care for a Tums?''
l could listen to your stories all night. They're so funny.
And all involving bodily functions.
Tom, l could use a little hand.
No, Daphne. After all that cooking, you must be strapless.
- Niles, can l speak with you? - Yes.
- Did l do anything that offended you? - No.
lt must be in my head. l sensed you had a problem with me dating Frasier.
Well, if you must know...
l'm sorry, what was the question?
Do you have a problem with me dating your brother?
No.
Niles, l didn't ask Tom to dinner so he could talk to you.
There are others who would like a crack at him.
That Tom's a great guy. You think maybe him and Daphne...?
l can't remember when l last had such a wonderful evening.
We should thank you. l can't remember when l've laughed so hard.
(Raucous laughter)
You've still got Mr Crane going.
- Daphne, music might be appropriate. - Good idea.
She's quite a woman, isn't she?
Yes, she's really something.
- Frasier, l was wondering... - Yes?
Before the evening's over, could we get a little one-on-one time?
Ooh, l think l can arrange that.
He says he wants to be alone with you.
This is my lucky bra! Keep the wine flowing! l'll fix my lipstick!
l guess l'd better be hitting the old sack.
l don't want to stand in the way of young romance.
- Thanks. - Good night, Tom.
Good night, Martin.
- You should run along, too. - Yes.
And Frasier, l was wrong about Tom.
lf l had to choose a man for Daphne, l'd pick him.
- Night, Tom. Nice to meet you. - Night.
Frasier, a word in your ear.
Excuse me.
l have to tell you something. Dad wanted to, but l won the toss.
- Yes? - l had a little chat with Tom.
He's interested in pursuing a romance but his object is not Daphne.
Damn that Roz!
No, no. lt's you.
Me? That's impossible. Tom's not gay.
He seems to be under that impression.
What made him think...? l just asked if he was attached.
Then we talked about the theatre and men's fashion... Oh, my God!
- You realise what this means? - Yes. You're dating your boss.
You, of all people, should know the pitfalls of an office relationship.
But he didn't say... He never mentioned...
l'll call you tomorrow. But not too early of course.
So...
So...
God, l hate this song!
l've broken my rule for you. l usually don't date guys l work with.
Yes, well, l've sort of relaxed my rule for you, too.
You're cute when you're nervous.
l must be downright adorable now.
Listen, Tom. l'm sorry, but we seem to have gotten our lines crossed here.
The truth is, l'm entirely straight.
lf you're not interested, just say so.
No, it's true. l really am.
l invited you because you seemed so charming and you like the British.
l thought you might be perfect for Daphne.
l can't believe this! You had no idea that l'm gay?
lt never even occurred to me that you might be gay.
Well, it never even occurred to me that you might be straight.
Thank you.
l feel just awful. lt seems l've just been leading you on all night.
Oh, it's OK. Honest mistake.
But l've made you think you've found a man
sensitive enough to help you...
Frasier, l'll learn to love again.
- Of course. - You'll apologise to Daphne?
For the rest of my days.
Does this mean your dad's not gay?
No, Dad's not gay.
But Niles... Come on!
No, l'm afraid not.
So this Maris he kept mentioning is a woman?
Well, the jury's still out on that one.
# Hey baby, l hear the blues a-calling tossed salads and scrambled eggs
# Oh, my!
# And maybe l seem a bit confused Well, maybe...but l got you pegged!
# But l don't know what to do with those tossed salads and scrambled eggs
# They're calling again #
Frasier has left the building.
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Friends - 3x24 - The One With Ultimate Fighting Champ
Friends - 3x25 - The One at the Beach
Friends - 4x01 - The One With the Jellyfish
Friends - 4x02 - The One With the Cat
Friends - 4x03 - The One With the Cuffs
Friends - 4x04 - The One With the Ballroom Dancing
Friends - 4x05 - The One With Joeys New Girlfriend
Friends - 4x06 - The One With the Dirty Girl
Friends - 4x07 - The One Where Chandler Crosses
Friends - 4x08 - The One With Chandler in a Box
Friends - 4x09 - The One Where They are Going
Friends - 4x10 - The One With the Girl from
Friends - 4x11 - The One With Phoebes Uterus
Friends - 4x12 - The One With the Embryos
Friends - 4x13 - The One With Rachels Crush
Friends - 4x14 - The One With Joeys Dirty Day
Friends - 4x15 - The One With All the Rugby
Friends - 4x16 - The One With the Fake Party
Friends - 4x17 - The One With the Free Porn
Friends - 4x18 - The One With Rachels New Dress
Friends - 4x19 - The One With All the Haste
Friends - 4x20 - The One With All the Wedding Dresses
Friends - 4x21 - The One With the Invitation
Friends - 4x22 - The One With the Worst Best Man Ever
Friends - 4x23 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 1
Friends - 4x24 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 2
Friends - 5x01 - The One After Ross Says Rachel
Friends - 5x02 - The One With All the Kissing
Friends - 5x03 - The One Hundreth
Friends - 5x04 - The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS
Friends - 5x05 - The One With the Kips
Friends - 5x06 - The One With the Yeti
Friends - 5x07 - The One Where Ross Moves In
Friends - 5x08 - The One With All the Thanksgivins
Friends - 5x09 - The One With Rosss Sandwich
Friends - 5x10 - The One With the Inappropiate Sister
Friends - 5x11 - The One With All the Resolutions
Friends - 5x12 - The One With Chandlers Work Laugh
Friends - 5x13 - The One With Joeys Bag
Friends - 5x14 - The One Where Everyone Finds Out
Friends - 5x15 - The One With the Girl Who Hits Joey
Friends - 5x16 - The One With the Cop
Friends - 5x17 - The One With Rachels
Friends - 5x18 - The One Where Rachel Smokes
Friends - 5x19 - The One Where Ross Cant Flirt
Friends - 5x20 - The One With the Ride-Along
Friends - 5x21 - The One With the Ball
Friends - 5x22 - The One With Joeys Big Break
Friends - 5x23 - The One in Vegas
Friends - 6x01 - The One After Vegas
Friends - 6x02 - The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel
Friends - 6x03 - The One With Rosss Denial
Friends - 6x04 - The One Where Joey Loses His
Friends - 6x05 - The One With Joeys Porsche
Friends - 6x06 - The One On the Last Night
Friends - 6x07 - The One Where Phoebe Runs
Friends - 6x08 - The One With Rosss Teeth
Friends - 6x15
Friends 7x01 - The One with Monicas Thunder
Friends 7x02 - The One With Rachels Book
Friends 7x03 - The One With Phoebes Cookies
Friends 7x04 - The One With Rachels Assistant
Friends 7x05 - The One With The Engagement Picture
Friends 7x06 - The One With The Nap Partners
Friends 7x07 - The One with Rosss Library Book
Friends 7x08 - The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs
Friends 7x09 - The One With All the Candy
Friends 7x10 - The One With The Holiday Armadillo
Friends 7x11 - The One With All The Cheesecakes
Friends 7x12 - The One Where They are Up All Night
Friends 7x13 - The One Where Rosita Dies
Friends 7x14 - The One Where They All Turn Thirty
Friends 7x15 - The One With Joeys New Brain
Friends 7x16 - The One With the Truth About London
Friends 7x17 - The One With the Cheap Wedding Dress
Friends 7x18 - The One With Joeys Award
Friends 7x19 - The One With Ross and Monicas Cousin
Friends 7x20 - The One With Rachels Kisses
Friends 7x21 - The One With the Vows
Friends 7x22 - The One With Chandlers Dad
Friends 7x23 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 1
Friends 7x24 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 2
Friends 9x01 - The One Where No One Proposes
Friends 9x02 - The One Where Emma Cries
Friends 9x03 - The One With The Pediatrician
Friends 9x04 - The One With The Sharks
Friends 9x05 - The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner
Friends 9x06 - The One With The Male Nanny
Friends 9x07 - The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song
Friends 9x08 - The One With Rachels Other Sister
Friends 9x09 - The One With Rachels Phone Number
Friends 9x10 - The One With Christmas In Tulsa
Friends 9x11 - The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work
Friends 9x12 - The One With Phoebes Rats
Friends 9x13 - The One Where Monica Sings
Friends 9x14 - The One With The Blind Dates
Friends 9x15 - The One With The Mugging
Friends 9x16 - The One With The Boob Job
Friends 9x17 - The One With The Memorial Service
Friends 9x18 - The One With The Lottery
Friends 9x19 - The One With Rachels Dream
Friends 9x20 - The One With The Soap Opera Party
Friends 9x21 - The One With The Fertility Test
Friends 9x22 - The One With The Donor
Friends 9x23-24 - The One In Barbados 1 2)
Frisson des vampires Le
From Beijing with love
From Dusk Till Dawn
From Dusk Till Dawn 3 The Hangmans Daughter
From Hell
From Justin To Kelly (Special Edition)
Frontera La
Frusta e il corpo La
Fucking Amal
Fudoh The New Generation 1996
Fugitive The - The Chase Continues
Fugitives (2000)
Fukssvansen (Chop Chop)
Full Frontal 2002
Full Metal Jacket
Full Time Killer
Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD1
Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD2
Fun in Acapulco (Richard Thorpe 1963)
Funeral Parade of Roses
Funeral in Berlin
Funny Girl
Fuochi dArtifizio
Furia (2002)
Fury The (1978)
Futurama 1x01 - Space Pilot 3000
Futurama 1x02 - The Series Has Landed
Futurama 1x03 - I Roommate
Futurama 1x04 - Loves Labors Lost in Space
Futurama 1x05 - Fear of a Bot Planet
Futurama 1x06 - A Fishful of Dollars
Futurama 1x07 - My Three Suns
Futurama 1x08 - A Big Piece of Garbage
Futurama 1x09 - Hell is Other Robots
Futurama 2x01 - A Flight to Remember
Futurama 2x02 - Mars University
Futurama 2x03 - When Aliens Attack
Futurama 2x04 - Fry and the Slurm Factory
Futurama 3x01 - Amazon Women in the Mood
Futurama 3x02 - Parasites Lost
Futurama 3x03 - A Tale of Two Santas
Futurama 3x04 - The Luck of the Fryrish
Futurama 3x05 - The Birdbot of Ice-catraz
Futurama 3x06 - Bendless Love
Futurama 3x07 - The Day the Earth Stood Stupid
Futurama 3x08 - Thats Lobstertainment
Futurama 3x09 - The Cyber House Rules
Futurama 3x10 - Insane in the Mainframe
Futurama 3x10 - Where The Buggalo Roam
Futurama 3x12 - The Route of All Evil
Futurama 3x13 - Bendin in the Wind
Futurama 3x14 - Time Keeps on Slippin
Futurama 3x15 - I Dated a Robot
Futurama 3x16 - A Leela of Her Own
Futurama 3x17 - A Pharaoh To Remember
Futurama 3x18 - Anthology of Interest Part 2
Futurama 3x19 - Roswell That Ends Well
Futurama 3x20 - Godfellas
Futurama 3x21 - Future Stock
Futurama 3x22 - The 30 Iron Chef
Futurama 4x01 - Kif Gets Knocked Up a Notch
Futurama 4x02 - Leelas Homeworld
Futurama 4x03 - Love and Rocket
Futurama 4x04 - Less Than Hero
Futurama 4x05 - A Taste of Freedom
Futurama 4x06 - Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV
Futurama 4x07 - Jurassic Bark
Futurama 4x08 - Crimes of the Hot
Futurama 4x09 - Teenage Mutant Leelas Hurdles
Futurama 4x10 - The Why of Fry
Futurama 4x11 - Where no Fan Has Gone Before
Futurama 4x12 - The Sting
Futurama 4x13 - Bend Her
Futurama 4x14 - Obsoletely Fabulous
Futurama 4x15 - The Farnsworth Parabox
Futurama 4x16 - Three Hundred Big Boys
Futurama 4x17 - Spanish Fry
Futurama 4x18 - The Devils Hands are Idle Playthings
Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD1
Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD2