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Frasier 01x07 - Call Me Irresponsible

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It's 4:25, and this is Dr. Frasier Crane.
- Who's our next caller? - Hank has trouble with his neighbours.
Hello, Hank, I'm listening.
- 'Am I on?' - Yes, you're on the air.
'Hello, am I on?'
Hank, listen. Turn down your radio and just talk into your phone.
You won't be able to hear yourself. We're on a seven-second delay.
'Hello, can you hear me?'
For crying out loud! Thank you, Hank.
People, turn off your damn radios!
Ah, no, I mean just those of you who are calling in!
Who's our next caller?
Marco has relationship problems.
Hello, Marco, I'm listening.
'I started seeing this woman two years ago.
'I think it was two years. It was around Thanksgiving...
'Yeah, the leaves were off the trees and... '
Close enough.
What is your problem?
'It's not really my problem, it's more like her problem.
- 'She's pressing me for a commitment.' - What's holding you back?
'I want to keep my options open, in case somebody better comes along.'
"Somebody better comes along."
"Somebody better comes along!" Marco, do you hear yourself?
'No, I turned my radio off after you blasted that other guy.'
Listen, I suggest you give your motives a thorough examination,
and if you can't commit, it's best for both of you to break it off.
- 'Yeah?' - Yeah! Thank you for your call.
Tell me, what is it with guys like that?
Hey, Roz, you've been around the block a few times.
Ever run into a guy like Marco?
Oh, they're all Marcos.
You can't swing a dead cat without hitting a Marco.
If that was so, no one would be having a relationship.
Well, I'm not, my sister's not, none of my friends are.
I've seen the future. It's name is Marco.
What do you think, Seattle? Are there any non-Marcos out there,
or is Roz destined to live a life of hopeless, loveless spinsterhood?
Back after this.
Gee, I just love it when you include me in your show.
This is weird. It's not even Halloween yet.
Do we have to do this now?
Yes, if we want a picture for the Christmas card.
Why can't we just do what my wife and I did -
put Frasier and Niles, in matching sweaters, on the old Packard.
Well, this year we're going to be a little more artistic.
Where is Frasier? I could use help.
He's still napping. My grandfather used to nap every day.
- He lived to be 93. - Really?
He'd lie there on the sofa, and you couldn't wake him.
Grammy would say, "He might as well be a dead man."
Then, one day, we couldn't wake him.
He really was a dead man.
Poor Grammy. For weeks, she kept insisting: "'E's napping, 'e's napping."
OK, I'm going to turn it on.
Oh, it's lovely!
Deck the halls with boughs of holly
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
'Tis the season to be jolly
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Don we now our gay apparel
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la...
Excuse me, excuse me. Exactly how long have I been asleep?
Good, you're up. Now we can get this picture taken.
- What picture? - The picture for the Christmas card.
Oh, right.
The theme is Santa's workshop. Put on your little elf hats.
I'm not putting this on my head! I'm a respected professional!
But if you don't, it'll look stupid!
The ship has already sailed on that one.
- Put the hat on! - You can't tell me what to do.
I am telling you.
You can no longer sit me on top of some stupid old Packard!
Boys, please, don't fight! Are you forgetting what day it is?
It's October 21!
- Can we just get the picture taken? - I've got it all set.
15 seconds, gents.
Oh wait, where's Eddie?
In the bathroom, getting a drink. Eddie!
Well, I can always pray there's a postal strike.
That's it for today. This is Dr. Frasier Crane saying,
"Go out there and make it a great evening, Seattle."
Hey, there's a fan in the hall who'd like your autograph.
Oh, God, save me from my adoring fans.
Oh! But not from the adorable ones.
Hello. You wanted an autograph? Uh, how should I make this out?
You disgust me, you parasitic fraud!
That's certainly different from the usual "Best Regards".
For once you'll face the consequences of hanging up on callers!
What consequences?
I'm Marco's girlfriend... Excuse me, ex-girlfriend, thanks to you.
The Marco who didn't want to commit?
You damned radio shrinks. You couldn't just tell him to stick with it!
That doesn't get big ratings. No! "Get on with your life and ruin hers."
- That's entertainment. - Hold on. Did you listen to the show?
- No, but Marco told me what you said. - Oh, he did, did he?
Did he mention he only stayed with you to keep his options open?
He said he only stayed with you until somebody better came along.
- He said that? - To most of Seattle.
Apparently, you're the only one who missed it.
So, it wasn't that he didn't want to commit.
He just didn't want to commit to me.
I'm sorry I had to tell you, but at least now you know the truth.
Oh, no...
Don't... don't cry.
Look, you're...
You're in a place of business here.
Boy, I can really pick 'em, can't I?
Don't go there. Look, this is not your fault.
You're a terrifically attractive young woman, maybe a bit overemotional...
Oh, yes, there, there, shh.
- Listen, can I get you something? - Mm-mm.
- A drink of water? - No.
M & M's?
Plain or peanut?
- Whichever you like. - Peanut.
God, I should have seen this coming. He almost had a coronary,
when I brought a toothbrush over to keep at his apartment.
- Thank you. You want one? - Uh, no, thanks. Have a seat.
Listen, if he was that resistant, why did you stay with him?
I had a lot invested in it.
Why settle for someone who isn't madly in love with you?
Right now I'm not sure there are any men
who are capable of falling madly in love.
There are.
Men and women are basically the same.
We both need to be loved and to love someone,
we both want to feel that we matter to someone.
Making a commitment to another human being
is the ultimate expression of our humanity.
Wow. Your wife is really lucky.
Well, I'm... sure she'd say the same thing.
Especially now that our marriage is over.
Maybe I will have one of those M & M's.
Oh, boy... Why are relationships always so hard?
- Hey! You like the yellow ones too? - People tell you they're the same.
- But they're not! - No!
Relationships don't have to be hard.
I heard of a documented case where a man and a woman met, got along,
and actually lived happily ever after.
I don't mind the happily-ever-after-part. It's the dating part.
If I have to tell one more stranger the story of my life
over Northern Italian cuisine, I'll choke on a breadstick!
I know. Maybe we could just exchange résumés over appetisers.
- I usually say goodbye over appetisers. - At least you're not stuck with the bill.
You haven't dated much lately, have you?
No. I usually end up in restaurants alone.
I can't do that.
I even turn on the TV at home
so it feels like there's someone else there.
Is that what you'll be doing tonight?
Well, unless I just keep eating M & M's, which is a distinct possibility.
Soft and supple, yet strong right down to the beautiful almond-shaped nails.
- You really see all that in my hand? - Mm-hm.
I'm late for work.
Wait. What are we doing tonight? "Antonio's", "Le Cigare Volant"?
- Why don't we just stay in? - That's a great idea!
I'll send Dad and Daphne to the movies. I'll cook for you. Be at my place at 8:00.
I won't make it till 8:30. I must change.
No! Don't ever change. I like you just the way you are.
Come on, I'm a little out of practice!
I'll see you later, OK?
I'll dispense with the usual adolescent teasing.
Who was that babe-o-rama?
You remind me of Bob Hope when he dresses up as the Fonz.
- Her name is Catherine. - How long have you known her?
- Three days. - Have you two...?
- No. As if it's any of your business. - But you're...?
Yes, soon!
- We are talking about...? - Of course we are!
- Sex, right? - Yes!
So... How did you two meet?
She came down to the radio station to chew me out.
- You're kidding. - No. Her boyfriend called the show.
I advised him to break up with her.
Frasier, where are your ethics?
You can't date someone who's involved with your patient.
Marco is not a patient, he's a caller. There's a huge difference.
I talked to him days before I met her.
Rationalisation, the last refuge of a...
I am not rationalising! There is nothing wrong here!
As long as your conscience is clear. Mine wouldn't be.
Well, frankly, I don't care about your conscience.
I don't need your approval. I don't need you for anything.
My car's in the shop. I need a ride home tonight.
No problem.
I've got news for you,
Marco's on line two.
The guy you got out of the way so you could keep his girlfriend.
- Ten seconds. - I'm not talking to him.
There's no way I'm talking to him!
Three, two...
Hi, we're back. Roz, whom do we have on the line?
We have Marco on line two.
- Who's this on line three? - Todd.
Oops, we lost Todd.
But lucky for you, we still have Marco on line two.
Thank you, Roz.
- Hello, Marco. - 'Hi, Dr. Crane.
'I spoke to you and I took your advice - I broke up with my girlfriend.'
Well, what can I say but "Bravo, Marco"?
- Who's next? - 'Wait!
'You haven't heard my problem. She's already dating someone else.'
- It makes me nuts. - What makes you think that?
'The other night, I couldn't get her on the phone. So I drove by her house,
'and I saw her outside talking to some guy in a black BMW.'
Did you, er, get a good look at the guy?
'No, it was too dark. I think I made a big mistake, Doc.
'Should I ask her to take me back?'
No! I mean, what I mean is...
No. Marco, you don't want your ex-girlfriend back -
you don't want anybody else to have her.
- 'Well, I... ' - No, it's called "jealousy".
You must stop spying on her and get on with your life.
Borrow a page from my book: Move to a new city. A new state.
Find out why everyone's talking about Pittsburgh!
We'll be right back after these messages.
- 'Thanks for picking me up.' - No problem.
Just a few miles out of my way. At rush hour.
But I didn't mind, really. Gave me a chance to listen to your show.
I see.
I just have one question for you.
Can you tell me that your advice to Marco
was based on his best interests, and not on your own?
That's an interesting question, Niles, and I don't care.
I'm in love, and I don't care.
Catherine is mine now. I'm in and Marco's out.
- You're insane! - Perhaps, but you just ran a stop sign.
- Now we're in the intersection! - Oh!
I tell you, Niles, I haven't felt this way in ages.
There's an excitement about this. I... I feel tingly.
- What does your stomach say? - My stomach?
You know what I'm talking about.
Whenever you approached a breach of ethics, you'd get queasy.
At least I didn't get spontaneous nosebleeds.
Remember when we lifted that dollar from Mom's purse,
we left a gruesome trail back to the tree house that day.
But, you see, you've proved my point. I'm not the least bit queasy, I'm fine.
My head, my heart, my gastrointestinal system, all shout,
"It's OK!"
Niles, is this a new car?
Yes, a patient of mine got me a huge break on a lease.
Frasier, do you have a handkerchief?
Mm, that was the best Salmon Marseille I've ever had.
You should try my Salmon "Enchanted Evening".
- Tell me you didn't say that. - Oh, it was just the Lafite talking.
Lafite, don't fail me now!
Oh, stop, stop!
So... have you ever made love in the kitchen?
Well, the, uh... dishes are done.
Oh! Mm!
'Ewww! '
I'm sorry, I'm suddenly feeling a little queasy. I...
Maybe I'm just not a kitchen person.
Well, uh...
Maybe you're just... a little too warm, huh?
- Yeah? - Oh, yeah.
Yeah, that's it.
- You look awfully warm too. - Oh, I am! Yes.
- Oh, my God! - Oh! Oh!
I'm sorry.
Would you mind if we moved to the sofa?
I won't be outperformed by a Barcalounger.
Oh... Oh!
This is better.
Oh, yes. Mm...
What? Was I kneeling on you?
I need some fresh air. Are you OK?
I'm fine.
Oh, damn, it wasn't the fish!
There's a bug going round.
- It's not a bug. - What is it, then?
It's us.
Every time we touch and kiss, I get queasy.
The thought of making love to me makes you sick to your stomach?
Yes, but don't take it personally.
It's... It's not you, it's me.
Every time I come close to breaching my ethics, I get sick.
Marco called and said he wanted to get back with you.
- I told him not to. - So?
Maybe I told him that not because it was good for him but good for me.
Oh, Frasier!
Who cares?
I care. Any psychiatrist worth his salt would care.
That's why we don't get involved with our patients. Or their girlfriends.
- Do you want to break up with me? - I don't want to.
I have to. If I don't, I'll throw up all over your shoes.
I can't believe this is happening. How can this be so easy for you?
Easy? This is killing me!
I want to carry you to that Eames classic
and show you why it's the best-engineered chair in the world!
- Why don't you, then? - I told you, I can't!
Oh! And nothing I can say will change your mind?
I'm sorry.
Well, thank you, Dr. Crane!
First you screw things up with Marco and now you're dumping me!
God, and to think I was going to have sex with you!
And it was going to be hot.
Oh, like you've never had before!
I'm talking steamy,
sweat dripping down your back, neighbours pounding on the walls.
Illegal in 48 states kind of sex!
But, hey. You're OK. You won't be alone tonight.
No, you've got your ethics!
Oh, by the way,
The fish was dry.
Oh, that was a cheap shot!
How I envy you, Eddie. The biggest questions you face are:
"Who's going to walk me? Who's going to feed me?"
I won't know that kind of joy for another 40 years.
Baby, I hear the blues a-calling Tossed salads and scrambled eggs
Quite stylish
Maybe I seem a bit confused Well, maybe, but I got you pegged!
But I don't know what do with those Tossed salads and scrambled eggs
They're calling again
Good night, Seattle, we love you!
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Friends - 3x03 - The One With the Jam
Friends - 3x04 - The One With the Metaphorical Tunnel
Friends - 3x05 - The One With Frank Jr
Friends - 3x06 - The One With the Flashback
Friends - 3x07 - The One With the Race Car Bed
Friends - 3x08 - The One With the Giant Poking Device
Friends - 3x09 - The One With the Football
Friends - 3x10 - The One Where Rachel Quits
Friends - 3x11 - The One Where Chandler Cant Remember
Friends - 3x12 - The One With All the Jealousy
Friends - 3x13 - The One Where Monica and Richard
Friends - 3x14 - The One With Phoebes Ex-Partner
Friends - 3x15 - The One Where Ross and Rachel Take
Friends - 3x16 - The One the Morning After
Friends - 3x17 - The One Without the Ski Trip
Friends - 3x18 - The One With the Hypnosis Tape
Friends - 3x19 - The One With the Tiny T-Shirt
Friends - 3x20 - The One With the Dollhouse
Friends - 3x21 - The One With a Chick and a Duck
Friends - 3x22 - The One With the Screamer
Friends - 3x23 - The One With Rosss Thing
Friends - 3x24 - The One With Ultimate Fighting Champ
Friends - 3x25 - The One at the Beach
Friends - 4x01 - The One With the Jellyfish
Friends - 4x02 - The One With the Cat
Friends - 4x03 - The One With the Cuffs
Friends - 4x04 - The One With the Ballroom Dancing
Friends - 4x05 - The One With Joeys New Girlfriend
Friends - 4x06 - The One With the Dirty Girl
Friends - 4x07 - The One Where Chandler Crosses
Friends - 4x08 - The One With Chandler in a Box
Friends - 4x09 - The One Where They are Going
Friends - 4x10 - The One With the Girl from
Friends - 4x11 - The One With Phoebes Uterus
Friends - 4x12 - The One With the Embryos
Friends - 4x13 - The One With Rachels Crush
Friends - 4x14 - The One With Joeys Dirty Day
Friends - 4x15 - The One With All the Rugby
Friends - 4x16 - The One With the Fake Party
Friends - 4x17 - The One With the Free Porn
Friends - 4x18 - The One With Rachels New Dress
Friends - 4x19 - The One With All the Haste
Friends - 4x20 - The One With All the Wedding Dresses
Friends - 4x21 - The One With the Invitation
Friends - 4x22 - The One With the Worst Best Man Ever
Friends - 4x23 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 1
Friends - 4x24 - The One With Rosss Wedding - part 2
Friends - 5x01 - The One After Ross Says Rachel
Friends - 5x02 - The One With All the Kissing
Friends - 5x03 - The One Hundreth
Friends - 5x04 - The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS
Friends - 5x05 - The One With the Kips
Friends - 5x06 - The One With the Yeti
Friends - 5x07 - The One Where Ross Moves In
Friends - 5x08 - The One With All the Thanksgivins
Friends - 5x09 - The One With Rosss Sandwich
Friends - 5x10 - The One With the Inappropiate Sister
Friends - 5x11 - The One With All the Resolutions
Friends - 5x12 - The One With Chandlers Work Laugh
Friends - 5x13 - The One With Joeys Bag
Friends - 5x14 - The One Where Everyone Finds Out
Friends - 5x15 - The One With the Girl Who Hits Joey
Friends - 5x16 - The One With the Cop
Friends - 5x17 - The One With Rachels
Friends - 5x18 - The One Where Rachel Smokes
Friends - 5x19 - The One Where Ross Cant Flirt
Friends - 5x20 - The One With the Ride-Along
Friends - 5x21 - The One With the Ball
Friends - 5x22 - The One With Joeys Big Break
Friends - 5x23 - The One in Vegas
Friends - 6x01 - The One After Vegas
Friends - 6x02 - The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel
Friends - 6x03 - The One With Rosss Denial
Friends - 6x04 - The One Where Joey Loses His
Friends - 6x05 - The One With Joeys Porsche
Friends - 6x06 - The One On the Last Night
Friends - 6x07 - The One Where Phoebe Runs
Friends - 6x08 - The One With Rosss Teeth
Friends - 6x15
Friends 7x01 - The One with Monicas Thunder
Friends 7x02 - The One With Rachels Book
Friends 7x03 - The One With Phoebes Cookies
Friends 7x04 - The One With Rachels Assistant
Friends 7x05 - The One With The Engagement Picture
Friends 7x06 - The One With The Nap Partners
Friends 7x07 - The One with Rosss Library Book
Friends 7x08 - The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs
Friends 7x09 - The One With All the Candy
Friends 7x10 - The One With The Holiday Armadillo
Friends 7x11 - The One With All The Cheesecakes
Friends 7x12 - The One Where They are Up All Night
Friends 7x13 - The One Where Rosita Dies
Friends 7x14 - The One Where They All Turn Thirty
Friends 7x15 - The One With Joeys New Brain
Friends 7x16 - The One With the Truth About London
Friends 7x17 - The One With the Cheap Wedding Dress
Friends 7x18 - The One With Joeys Award
Friends 7x19 - The One With Ross and Monicas Cousin
Friends 7x20 - The One With Rachels Kisses
Friends 7x21 - The One With the Vows
Friends 7x22 - The One With Chandlers Dad
Friends 7x23 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 1
Friends 7x24 - The One With Monica and Chandlers Wedding Part 2
Friends 9x01 - The One Where No One Proposes
Friends 9x02 - The One Where Emma Cries
Friends 9x03 - The One With The Pediatrician
Friends 9x04 - The One With The Sharks
Friends 9x05 - The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner
Friends 9x06 - The One With The Male Nanny
Friends 9x07 - The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song
Friends 9x08 - The One With Rachels Other Sister
Friends 9x09 - The One With Rachels Phone Number
Friends 9x10 - The One With Christmas In Tulsa
Friends 9x11 - The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work
Friends 9x12 - The One With Phoebes Rats
Friends 9x13 - The One Where Monica Sings
Friends 9x14 - The One With The Blind Dates
Friends 9x15 - The One With The Mugging
Friends 9x16 - The One With The Boob Job
Friends 9x17 - The One With The Memorial Service
Friends 9x18 - The One With The Lottery
Friends 9x19 - The One With Rachels Dream
Friends 9x20 - The One With The Soap Opera Party
Friends 9x21 - The One With The Fertility Test
Friends 9x22 - The One With The Donor
Friends 9x23-24 - The One In Barbados 1 2)
Frisson des vampires Le
From Beijing with love
From Dusk Till Dawn
From Dusk Till Dawn 3 The Hangmans Daughter
From Hell
From Justin To Kelly (Special Edition)
Frontera La
Frusta e il corpo La
Fucking Amal
Fudoh The New Generation 1996
Fugitive The - The Chase Continues
Fugitives (2000)
Fukssvansen (Chop Chop)
Full Frontal 2002
Full Metal Jacket
Full Time Killer
Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD1
Fun Movie (2002 Korean) CD2
Fun in Acapulco (Richard Thorpe 1963)
Funeral Parade of Roses
Funeral in Berlin
Funny Girl
Fuochi dArtifizio
Furia (2002)
Fury The (1978)
Futurama 1x01 - Space Pilot 3000
Futurama 1x02 - The Series Has Landed
Futurama 1x03 - I Roommate
Futurama 1x04 - Loves Labors Lost in Space
Futurama 1x05 - Fear of a Bot Planet
Futurama 1x06 - A Fishful of Dollars
Futurama 1x07 - My Three Suns
Futurama 1x08 - A Big Piece of Garbage
Futurama 1x09 - Hell is Other Robots
Futurama 2x01 - A Flight to Remember
Futurama 2x02 - Mars University
Futurama 2x03 - When Aliens Attack
Futurama 2x04 - Fry and the Slurm Factory
Futurama 3x01 - Amazon Women in the Mood
Futurama 3x02 - Parasites Lost
Futurama 3x03 - A Tale of Two Santas
Futurama 3x04 - The Luck of the Fryrish
Futurama 3x05 - The Birdbot of Ice-catraz
Futurama 3x06 - Bendless Love
Futurama 3x07 - The Day the Earth Stood Stupid
Futurama 3x08 - Thats Lobstertainment
Futurama 3x09 - The Cyber House Rules
Futurama 3x10 - Insane in the Mainframe
Futurama 3x10 - Where The Buggalo Roam
Futurama 3x12 - The Route of All Evil
Futurama 3x13 - Bendin in the Wind
Futurama 3x14 - Time Keeps on Slippin
Futurama 3x15 - I Dated a Robot
Futurama 3x16 - A Leela of Her Own
Futurama 3x17 - A Pharaoh To Remember
Futurama 3x18 - Anthology of Interest Part 2
Futurama 3x19 - Roswell That Ends Well
Futurama 3x20 - Godfellas
Futurama 3x21 - Future Stock
Futurama 3x22 - The 30 Iron Chef
Futurama 4x01 - Kif Gets Knocked Up a Notch
Futurama 4x02 - Leelas Homeworld
Futurama 4x03 - Love and Rocket
Futurama 4x04 - Less Than Hero
Futurama 4x05 - A Taste of Freedom
Futurama 4x06 - Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV
Futurama 4x07 - Jurassic Bark
Futurama 4x08 - Crimes of the Hot
Futurama 4x09 - Teenage Mutant Leelas Hurdles
Futurama 4x10 - The Why of Fry
Futurama 4x11 - Where no Fan Has Gone Before
Futurama 4x12 - The Sting
Futurama 4x13 - Bend Her
Futurama 4x14 - Obsoletely Fabulous
Futurama 4x15 - The Farnsworth Parabox
Futurama 4x16 - Three Hundred Big Boys
Futurama 4x17 - Spanish Fry
Futurama 4x18 - The Devils Hands are Idle Playthings
Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD1
Fyra Nyanser Av Brunt CD2