Simpsons 01x04 - Theres No Disgrace Like Home
- Aah!
Ooh!
- Yeah. Oh, yeah?|- Lisa] Yeah. Yeah!
- Yeah? Oh, yeah?|- Yeah.
Hey, what's the problem here?
We were fighting over|which one of us loves you more.
you were?|Aw, well, go ahead.
- you love him more.|- No, you do.
- No, I don't.|- Yes, you do!
you better get this out|of your system right now!
I don't want you embarrassing|me at my boss's picnic.
Mmm. Marshmallow.
- Homer!
I'm tying to get the unfortunate noises|out of my system while I can.
I don't want to embarrass myself|at the company picnic.
Are you sure that's enough? The boss|loves your delicious gelatin desserts.
Oh, Homer, Mr. Burns|just said he liked it... once.
That's the only time he's ever spoken|to me without using the word "bonehead."
There it is, kids!
Stately Burns Manor.|Heaven on Earth.
Okay, now look, my boss|is gonna be at this picnic.
I want you to show your father|some love and/or respect.
- Tough choice.|- I'm picking respect.
Good to see you.|Glad you could make it.
Oh, Thank you, Mr. Burns.|I'm so glad you invited us.
- Not me. I had to miss|little league for this.|- Quiet, Tom.
Oh, please, don't fight.|Just go out back and have a good time.
Fire that man, Smithers.
I don't want him or his|unpleasant family to ruin my picnic.
He'll be gone|by the tug-of-war, sir.
- Excellent.|-Uh, afternoon, Mr. Burns.
Uh, hello, there, uh--|uh--
- Simpson, Homer.|- Here yougo, sir.
Ah! Oh, yes. Uh, oh, and this|must be your lovely wife, Marge.
Oh, and look at little,|uh, Lisa.
Why, she's growing|like a weed.
-And this must be, uh, Brat.|- Bart.
Don't correct the man, Brat. Oh, boss,|look what we brought-- gelatin desserts.
Oh, for the love of Peter.|That's all anybody brought.
Some damn fool went around|telling everyone I love that slimy goop.
Well, toss it in the pile|over there.
And... make yourselves at home.
Hear that, Dad? You can lie around|in your underwear and scratch yourself.
- Now, you listen to me--|- Trouble, Simpson?
No. just congratulating the|son on a fine joke about his old man.
Now remember,|as far as anyone knows,
we're a nice,|normal family.
Hey, Bart, last one in|the fountain's a rotten egg!
D-oh! Be normal.|Be normal!
Mmm!|What an adorable little girl.
Thank you.
Why don't we dump them in the nursey|and get a glass of punch?
Oh, I'm not much|of a drinker.
Hey, isn't that your boy there|torturing the swans?
- Bart!
Maybe I will take you up|on that punch.
Gee, do you think we should|leave the kids unsupervised?
You're right.|There.
- Bart! Lisa!
- Where are you kids? D-oh!|- Whoops.
- Gotya!|- Careful. Blow a gasket, lose your job.
The father/son-sack race...
will begin in five minutes|on the north lawn.
Participation is mandatoy.|Repeat, mandatoy. That is all.
- you remember the rules?|- Shut my mouth, and let your boss win.
- Hey!
I don't know who to love more:|my son, Joshua, who's captain|of the footballteam,:
or my daughter, Amber,|who got the lead in the school play.
Usually, I use their grades|as a tiebreaker,
but they both got|straight A's this term.
- What's a mother to do?|- Mm-hmm.
- Well, I sense greatness in my family.|- Your family?
Well, it's a greatness|that others can't see, but it's there.
And if it's not true greatness we have,|we're at least average.
I don't want to alarm anyone,
but I think there's|a little "al-key-hol" in this punch.
- Mr. Burns, are you ready?|- Yes.
- Are youset?|- Yes.
- Go, Mr. Burns.
Man, this is pathetic.|I'm goin' for it!
Bart, no!|No! No! No!
Oh, no, wait.|Oh, no. Bart, don't.
Don't. No!
Close one this year.
- Here we sit enjoying the shade|- Hey, brother, pour on the wine
- Drink the drink that I have made|- Hey, brother, pour on the wine
He's here at last my one and only|Good-bye friends
-And don't be lonely|-Hey, brother, pour on the wine
- Marge, I need you!|- Hey, Homie, did you try the punch?
Snap out of it, Marge.
You've gotta come with me.|The boss is going to make a toast.
Well, I'm not much of a drinker.
Why, you picked a perfect time to start.
Musicians, cease that infernal tootling.
"Thank you all..."|uh,"for coming."
- Marge, knock it off.|- Well, I'm sory.
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.|- Marge!
" But now it's time|to say good-bye.
Please get off my property|until next year."
I suggest you don't dawdle. The hounds|will be released in ten minutes.
- Did you have a good time, son?|- Yeah, thanks, Pop.
Aw, that's the kind of family unity|I like to see. Smithers.
- Yes, sir?|- Get that man's name.
I predict big things for him|down at the power plant.
Quick, Bart,|give me a kiss.
Kiss you?|But, Dad, I'm your kid.
Bart, please?|Five bucks for a kiss.
I have never seen such|an obvious attempt to curry my favor.
Fabulous observation, sir.|Just fabulous.
- Boy, I'm glad that's over.
- Now we can go home and act normal.|- What do you mean?
Aw, come on.|That cornball routine?
"I love you, Daddy."|Give me a break.
- I pity you.|- Why?
- After you.|- Thank you so much.
- Me first! No, me. Me. Me.|- No, me. No, me. Me. Me.
Honey, you look so tired.|Would you like me to drive?
Oh, Homie, I think|I'm going to be sick.
There was a farmer|who had a dog
And Bingo was his name|Oh
B-i-n-g-o|B-i-n-g-o
B-i-n-g-o and Bingo|was his name, oh
Homie, get in the car.
- This is where you belong.|- Yeah, Homer.
Room for one more.
One of us. One of us.|One of us. One of us.
B-i-n-g-o|B-i-n-g-o
-B-i-n-g-o
The father of the family|has worked all day...
to find this food|for his children.
Unable to fend for themselves,|the babybaldeaglets...
are dependent on their mother|regurgitating food which she has found.
- Hey!|- Look, eveybody.
Yesterday was|a real eye-opener.
We've got to do better|as a family.
Tonight, we're not going to shovel food|in our mouths while we stare at the TV.
We're going to eat at the|dining room table like a normal family.
- Happy, Dad?|- Yes.
Good.|Commence shoveling.
No. We're going|to say grace first.
Okay. Rub-a-dub-dub,|thanks for the grub.
No!|Ignore the boy, Lord.
Can the chatter, and bow your heads.
Dear Lord, Thank you|for this microwave bounty,
even though|we don't deserve it.
I mean, our kids are|uncontrollable hellions.
Pardon my French,|but the Y act like savages.
Did you see them|at the picnic?
Of course you did. You're everywhere.|You're "omnivorous."
O Lord, why did you|smite me with this family?
- Amen!|- Let's eat.
No, I'm not done yet!
But, Homer, how long are we|supposed to sit here...
and listen to you bad-mouth us|to the Man Upstairs?
I'm sory, Marge, but sometimes|I think we're the worst family in town.
Maybe we should move|to a larger community.
- D-oh!|- Don't have a cow, Dad.
The sad truth is,|all families are like us.
you think so, huh? Well, there's|only one way to find out. Follow me.
Look at that, kids.|No fighting. No yelling.
- No belching.|- The dad has his shirt on.
Look, napkins!
- These people are obviously freaks.|- Oh, you think so?
Well, let's see|what's behind door number two.
- What are they doing?|- They're having a conversation.
The Y actually enjoy|talking to each other.
I wish I could hear|what they're saying.
Papa, I believe I heard|some rustling in the bushes.
Hmm. I did too.|Better get the gun.
Where's he going?
Probably to get the old man|his pipe and slippers.
Whoa, look at this place.|What a dump!
It's worse than you think.
I just trampled|this poor sap's flower bed.
- Homer, this is our house.|- Aaah!
- Are you coming in, Homer?|- No, no.
I wanna be alone with my thought.
Fans are getting a bit anxious here.|- Another beer, Moe.
What's-a matter, Homer?|Bloodiest fight of the year.
You're sitting there like|a thirsty bump on a log.
- Eddie.|- Evening, Moe.
- Want some pretzels?|- No, thanks. We're on duty.
- A couple beers would be nice, though.|- Two bucks, boys.
Just kidding.
Good one, Moe. We're looking for|a family of Peeping Toms...
who's been terrorizing|the neighborhood.
Quiet, boy.|Let the nice people enjoy their beers.
Ah, don't worry.|This dog has the scent.
- What's gotten into Bobo?|- I got some wieners in my pocket.
That figures.|Come on, you stupid dog.
you know, Moe, my mom once said|something that really stuck with me.
She said," Homer,|you're a big disappointment."
And God bless her soul,|she was really on to something.
Don't blame yourself, Homer.|you got dealt a bad hand.
You got crummy little kids|that nobody can control.
you can't talk that way about my kids!|Or at least two of them.
- Why, you got two I haven't met?|- Why, you--
- Here's five you haven't met.|- A tremendous right. That's gotta hurt.
- This fight is over!
All-StarBoxing|is brought to you by...
Dr. Marvin Monroe's|Family Therapy Center.
Huh? What?
- Honey, aren't you going to work today?|- Oh, I don't think so.
Honey, you have a problem, and|it won't get better till you admit it.
I admit this:|you better shut your big yap.
- Oh, you shut up. No, you shut up!|- No, you shut up!
- Shut up!|- Why don't you both shut up?
Hi, friends.|I'm Dr. Marvin Monroe.
Does this scene look familiar?|Ifso, I can help.
No gimmicks. No pills.|No faddiets.
Just family bliss, or double|your money back. So call today.
Dr. Marvin Monroe's|Family Therapy Center.
Why don't you call right now?
When will I learn?
The answer to life's problems|aren't at the bottom of a bottle.
They're on TV!
All right,|time for a family meeting.
Why can't we have a meeting|when you're watching TV?
Now look, you know and I know this|family needs help, professional help.
So I've made us an appointment|with Dr. Marvin Monroe.
The fat guy on TV?
You're sending us to a doctor|who advertises on pro wrestling?
Boxing, Lisa, boxing.|There's a world of difference.
Gee, Homer, are you sure|this is the right thing to do?
Honey, I've given|this matter a lot of study,
and of all the commercials I saw,|his was the best.
- All it costs is $250.|- We don't have that kind of money.
Well, then, we're just|going to have to dig deep.
- Marge, go get the kids' college fund.|- Hey!
- Oh, Homer.|- Oh, come on, Marge.
Why scrimp now on the off chance that|they'll actually get in some place?
Forty-eight.|Forty-nine. Fifty.
Eighty-eight dollars|and fifty cents.
That's it? That's the college fund|we've been saving for all these years?
I guess I'd have needed|a partial scholarship.
We're not licked yet.
To save this family, we're going to|have to make the supreme sacrifice.
No, Dad.|Please don't pawn the TV.
Oh, come on, Dad,|anything but that.
Homer, couldn't we pawn|my engagement ring instead?
Now, I appreciate that, honey,|but we need $150 here!
Afternoon, Simpson.|What can I do for ya?
Would you pay $150|for this lovely Motorola?
- Is it cable ready?|- Ready as she'll ever be.
Mister, you got yourself a deal.
All our money,|the college funds, the TV.
Homer, you're driving a stake through|the hearts of those who love you.
- Hey, no pain, no gain.|- Will you be paying by cash or check?
Cash, of course.|I've got $250 right here with me.
I'm holding it right now.|Here it is. Look.
Check it out.|250 big ones.
If you really want|to impress her,
show her the big, empty space|where our TV used to be.
- Bart!|- Come on, family.
Let's go celebrate our newfound|ability to express love.
I'm taking you out for|frosty chocolatemilkshakes.
Yea!
There go my young-girl dreams of Vassar.
Hello, I'm Dr. Marvin Monroe.|No doubt you recognize me from TV.
- We would ifwe had one.|- Lisa!
No, no, Homer,|don't stifle the youngster.
Your family must feel free|to express itself.
That's what these pads|and jumbo markers are for.
I want you to draw for me|your fears, your anxieties,
the roots of your|unhappiness.
Take a deep,|cleansing breath.
And begin.
- Mm-hmm. Uh-huh.
No surprises here.
- Homer?
- Homer, what have you got for us?
- Homer?|- Sorry, I wasn't paying attention.
If you had been|paying attention,
perhaps you would have noticed|that your family sees you...
as a rather stern authority figure,|an ogre, if you will.
- Now, Doctor, that's not true.|- Ogre is such a strong word.
Right on, Doc!|Another successful diagnosis.
- That does it!|- Whoa!
Okay, you wanna kill each|other. That's good. That's healthy.
There's nothing necessarily wrong|with hostile conflict.
All I ask is that you use|my patented aggression therapy mallets.
- Good idea.|- All right.|- I don't know.
Okay. Let's take another|deep, cleansing breath.
These mallet things are padded|with foam rubber. What's the point?
They'd work much better|without the padding, Doc.
- No, no. That's not true.
- Ah! Give me that.|- See?
Yes, well, that concludes|this portion of our treatment.
- Are we cured yet?|- Don't be ridiculous.
you will be, but it's going to require|somewhat more unorthodox methods.
- Unortho-what?|- Don't worry.
I'll have plenty of time to explain|while I warm up the...
electric generator.
Eveyone comfy?|Good.
Now, don't touch any of|those buttons in front of you...
for a very important reason, i.e., you|are wired into the rest of your family.
you have the ability to shock them,|and they have the ability to shock--
-just testing.
- Why, you--|- No, Homer, not yet.
This is what is known|as aversion therapy.
When someone hurts you emotionally,|you will hurt them physically.
And gradually you will learn|not to hurt each other at all.
And won't that be|wonderful, Homer?
- Oh, yes, Doctor.
- Whoa!|- Aaah!
-How could you shock your little sister?|-My finger slipped.
- So did mine.|- Aaaah!
- Bart, Lisa, stop that.
No, no. Now, wait a minute.
Wait! Wait!|Folks, if I could--
This is not the way|to get healthy!
No! You don't understand, Simpsons!
- People, please!
Boy.
Someone's really|gobbling up the juice, sir.
Excellent.|Excellent.
Perhaps this energy conservation fad|is as dead as the dodo.
- No! No! Simpsons!
- Son of a--|-Stop!
- Dr. Monroe, your other patients|have fled the building.|- Stop!
You're damaging|the equipment.
-Nice hair, Mom.|-I thought we were making real progress.
No, I'm sorry, you're not!|You've just got to go.
Wait a minute, Doc,|your TV commercial said,
family bliss|or double our money back.
Oh, but that was just--
All right.|Get the money.
20,40,60,80,1.20,40,60,80,2.|20,40,60,80,3.
20,40,60,80,4.|20,40,60,80,500.
Just go, and never tell|anyone youwere here!
Wow, 500 smackers.
Homer, how wonderful.|Our first pleasant surprise.
It's not the money, as much as|the feeling that we earned it.
you did it, Dad.
Shouldn't we be heading down|to the pawn shop to get our TV back?
That piece of junk?|Forget it.
We're gonna get a new TV.
Twenty-one inch screen,|realistic flesh tones...
and a little cart so we can wheel it|into the dining room on holidays.
- Yea!|- Oh, Homer, we love you.
|
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Christmas Poo South Park 01x11 - Toms Rhinoplasty South Park 01x12 - Mecha Striesand South Park 01x13 - Cartmans Mom is a Dirty Slut Soylent Green 1973 Spacehunter 1983 Spanish Prisoner The CD1 Spanish Prisoner The CD2 Spark the Lighter Spartacus 2004 CD1 Spartacus 2004 CD2 Spartacus Fixed 1960 Spartan 2004 CD1 Spartan 2004 CD2 Spawn (1997) Spawn (Directors Cut) Species 3 CD1 Species 3 CD2 Speed 2 - Cruise Control Spellbound (Hitchcock 1945) Spetters 1980 Spider-Man CD1 Spider-Man CD2 Spider (2002) Spider Man 2 CD1 Spider Man 2 CD2 Spies Like Us 1985 Spirit of the Beehive Spirited Away CD1 Spirited Away CD2 Spirits of the Dead 1968 CD1 Spirits of the Dead 1968 CD2 Splash Spoilers The Spongebob Squarepants The Movie Springtime In A Small Town Spun (Unrated Version) Spy Game Spy Hard Spy Who Came In from the Cold The Spy Who Loved Me The Spy Who Shagged Me The - New Line Platinum Series Spygirl CD1 Spygirl CD2 Square Peg Squirm St Johns Wort - (Otogiriso) 25fps 2001 Stage Beauty 2004 Stage Fright 1950 Stagecoach Stalag 17 Stalker 1979 CD1 Stalker 1979 CD2 Star Trek Generations CD1 Star Trek Generations CD2 Star Wars - Episode II Attack of the Clones Star Wars - Episode IV A New Hope Star Wars - Episode I The Phantom Menace Star Wars Episode 4 (A New Hope) CD1 Star Wars Episode 4 (A New Hope) CD2 Star Wars Episode 5 (Empire Strikes Back) CD1 Star Wars Episode 5 (Empire Strikes Back) CD2 Star Wars Episode 6 (Return of the Jedi) CD1 Star Wars Episode 6 (Return of the Jedi) CD2 Stargate SG1 1x01 Children of the Gods Stargate SG1 1x02 The enemy Within Stargate SG1 1x03 Emancipation Stargate SG1 1x04 The Broca Divide Stargate SG1 1x05 The First Commandment Stargate SG1 1x06 Cold Lazarus Stargate SG1 1x07 The Nox Stargate SG1 1x08 Brief Candle Stargate SG1 1x09 Thors Hammer Stargate SG1 1x10 The Torment of Tantalus Stargate SG1 1x11 Bloodlines Stargate SG1 1x12 Fire and Water Stargate SG1 1x13 Hathor Stargate SG1 1x14 Singularity Stargate SG1 1x15 The Cor AI Stargate SG1 1x16 Enigma Stargate SG1 1x17 Solitudes Stargate SG1 1x18 Tin Man Stargate SG1 1x19 There but for the Grace of God Stargate SG1 1x20 Politics Stargate SG1 1x21 Within the Serpents Grasp Stargate SG1 2x01 The serpents lair Stargate SG1 2x02 In the line of duty Stargate SG1 2x03 Prisoners Stargate SG1 2x04 The gamekeeper Stargate SG1 2x05 Need Stargate SG1 2x06 Thors chariot Stargate SG1 2x07 Message in a bottle Stargate SG1 2x08 Family Stargate SG1 2x09 Secrets Stargate SG1 2x10 Bane Stargate SG1 2x11 The tokra part 1 Stargate SG1 2x12 The tokra part 2 Stargate SG1 2x13 Spirits Stargate SG1 2x14 Touchstone Stargate SG1 2x15 The fifth race Stargate SG1 2x16 A matter of time Stargate SG1 2x17 Holiday Stargate SG1 2x18 Serpents song Stargate SG1 2x19 One false step Stargate SG1 2x20 Show and tell Stargate SG1 2x21 1969 Stargate SG1 3x01 Into The Fire II Stargate SG1 3x02 Seth Stargate SG1 3x03 Fair Game Stargate SG1 3x04 Legacy Stargate SG1 3x05 Learning Curve Stargate SG1 3x06 Point Of View Stargate SG1 3x07 Deadman Switch Stargate SG1 3x08 Demons Stargate SG1 3x09 Rules Of Engagement Stargate SG1 3x10 Forever In A Day Stargate SG1 3x11 Past And Present Stargate SG1 3x12 Jolinars Memories Stargate SG1 3x13 The Devil You Know Stargate SG1 3x14 Foothold Stargate SG1 3x15 Pretense Stargate SG1 3x16 Urgo Stargate SG1 3x17 A Hundred Days Stargate SG1 3x18 Shades Of Grey Stargate SG1 3x19 New Ground Stargate SG1 3x20 Maternal Instinct Stargate SG1 3x21 Crystal Skull Stargate SG1 3x22 Nemesis Stargate SG1 4x01 Small Victories Stargate SG1 4x02 The Other Side Stargate SG1 4x03 Upgrades Stargate SG1 4x04 Crossroads Stargate SG1 4x05 Divide And Conquer Stargate SG1 4x06 Window Of Opportunity Stargate SG1 4x07 Watergate Stargate SG1 4x08 The First Ones Stargate SG1 4x09 Scorched Earth Stargate SG1 4x10 Beneath The Surface Stargate SG1 4x11 Point Of No Return Stargate SG1 4x12 Tangent Stargate SG1 4x13 The Curse Stargate SG1 4x14 The Serpents Venom Stargate SG1 4x15 Chain Reaction Stargate SG1 4x16 2010 Stargate SG1 4x17 Absolute Power Stargate SG1 4x18 The Light Stargate SG1 4x19 Prodigy Stargate SG1 4x20 Entity Stargate SG1 4x21 Double Jeopardy Stargate SG1 4x22 Exodus Stargate SG1 5x01 Enemies Stargate SG1 5x02 Threshold Stargate SG1 5x03 Ascension Stargate SG1 5x04 Fifth Man Stargate SG1 5x05 Red Sky Stargate SG1 5x06 Rite Of Passage Stargate SG1 5x07 Beast Of Burden Stargate SG1 5x08 The Tomb Stargate SG1 5x09 Between Two Fires Stargate SG1 5x10 2001 Stargate SG1 5x11 Desperate Measures Stargate SG1 5x12 Wormhole X-Treme Stargate SG1 5x13 Proving Ground Stargate SG1 5x14 48 Hours Stargate SG1 5x15 Summit Stargate SG1 5x16 Last Stand Stargate SG1 5x17 Failsafe Stargate SG1 5x18 The Warrior Stargate SG1 5x19 Menace Stargate SG1 5x20 The Sentinel Stargate SG1 5x21 Meridian Stargate SG1 5x22 Revelations Stargate SG1 6x01 Redemption Part 1 Stargate SG1 6x02 Redemption Part 2 Stargate SG1 6x03 Descent Stargate SG1 6x04 Frozen Stargate SG1 6x05 Nightwalkers Stargate SG1 6x06 Abyss Stargate SG1 6x07 Shadow Play Stargate SG1 6x08 The Other Guys Stargate SG1 6x09 Allegiance Stargate SG1 6x10 Cure Stargate SG1 6x11 Prometheus Stargate SG1 6x12 Unnatural Selection Stargate SG1 6x13 Sight Unseen Stargate SG1 6x14 Smoke n Mirrors Stargate SG1 6x15 Paradise Lost Stargate SG1 6x16 Metamorphosis Stargate SG1 6x17 Disclosure Stargate SG1 6x18 Forsaken Stargate SG1 6x19 The Changeling Stargate SG1 6x20 Memento Stargate SG1 6x21 Prophecy Stargate SG1 6x22 Full Circle Stargate SG1 7x01 Fallen Stargate SG1 7x02 Homecoming Stargate SG1 7x03 Fragile Balance Stargate SG1 7x04 Orpheus Stargate SG1 7x05 Revisions Stargate SG1 7x06 Lifeboat Stargate SG1 7x07 Enemy Mine Stargate SG1 7x08 Space Race Stargate SG1 7x09 Avenger 2 0 Stargate SG1 7x10 Birthright Stargate SG1 7x10 Heroes II Stargate SG1 7x11 Evolution I Stargate SG1 7x12 Evolution II Stargate SG1 7x13 Grace Stargate SG1 7x14 Fallout Stargate SG1 7x15 Chimera Stargate SG1 7x16 Death Knell Stargate SG1 7x17 Heroes I Stargate SG1 7x19 Resurrection Stargate SG1 7x20 Inauguration Stargate SG1 7x21-22 The Lost City I n II Starship Troopers (Special Edition) Starship Troopers 2 Story Of A Kiss Strada La Strange aventure de Docteur Molyneux Street Of Love And Hope (Nagisa Oshima 1959) Street of shame (Akasen chitai) Streetcar Named Desire A Style Wars Suicide Regimen Sukces 2003 Summer Tale A 2000 Sunday Lunch (2003) Super 8 Stories Superman IV - The Quest for Peace Surviving the Game Swedish Love Story A (1970) CD1 Swedish Love Story A (1970) CD2 Sweetest Thing The (Unrated Version) Swept Away Swordsman III - The East is Red Sylvester - Canned Feud (1951) Sylvester - Speedy Gonzales (1955) Sylvester and Elmer - Kit for Cat (1948) Sylvester and Porky - Scaredy Cat (1948) Sylvester and Tweety - Canary Row (1950) Sylvester and Tweety - Putty Tat Trouble (1951) Sylvester and Tweety - Tweetys SOS (1951)
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