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Scary Movie 2Click here to download subtitles file for the movie "Scary Movie 2"Click here to download the movie "Scary Movie 2"Relevant Links:Is It Scary?Isn't It Scary Scary Mary Scary Story A Really, Really Merry Scary Intro Scary Movies (Sequel) More Links:One of your old favorite|songs from way back when So... Take her wrap, fellas Find her an empty lap,|fellas Dolly'll never go away Dolly'll never go away Dolly'll never go away|again Hey, do you guys|know this one? Oh! Now this is the real shit. Uh-huh. Shake your ass,|watch yourself Shake your ass Show me what|you're working with Attention all|young players and pimps Right now|is the place to be I thought I told|y'all niggers before Y'all niggers|don't fuck with me Shake your ass Watch yourself Shake your ass Show me what|you're working with Shake your ass You suck. - Uh!|- Uh! Oh! Who put the horse out? She's good. She--she's been really sick. Bad, bad, bad girl! OK. That'll be $1 7.50. Hey, buddy!|Hey, pay the fare. I'm Father McFeely. I'm so glad you're here. I came as fast as I could,|but at my age... the little soldier needs|a lot more thumping... before it starts pumping,|if you know what I mean. I do find, though,|if I tickle my asshole... just before I unleash|the dog of war-- It's OK. I understand. You know,|because in the old days... you know when you-- How is she? It's gotten worse, Father. Really? She won't eat,|she won't talk. The child won't even|let me touch her. Yes. Sometimes you have|to give them candy. Father... the church sent me|to assist you. I'm Father Harris. - Hi.|- Hi. Nice to see you. Would you like|to see the girl? Soon... but first|I must bless this house. "The sorrows of death|compassed me... "and the pains of Hell|got hold upon me. "I found..." "Then called I upon|the name of the Lord and..." "My soul from death." Oh, God. Please, Lord. Help me to release|this demon. Ahh! Thank you, Lord,|the most merciful Almighty. Oh, hold on. Ahh!|Ah, those enchiladas. Ha, ha, ha! Thank you, Lord. Aah! Fuck this. Father! Fuck! Did you see this?|Look at this! Please, Father,|think of the child. Fuck! Yes. It's freezing. Let us pray. "Defender of the human race... "look down in pity upon this,|your servant." Shove it up your ass,|you worthless piece of shit. Aah! Silence! Mmm. "Holy Lord--" Your mother is in here|with us, Harris. Would you like|to leave a message? I'll be sure that she gets it. Yes. Mom, will you|get out of there, please? You're no fun. I'm working. See you later,|Mrs. Harris. "Holy Lord,|Almighty Father in--" Aah! "Everlasting God... "and Father of|our Lord Jesus Christ... "and the Virgin Mary's|baby daddy. "Holy Lord,|Almighty Father... "everlasting God... "who once consigned|that fallen tyrant... "to the flames of Hell... "who sent your only son|into the world... "to crush|that roaring tiger... "and who got|that unholy bitch Jerri... "kicked off of "Survivor--" Fuck me! Fuck me! Father! Father! Huh? This is not|part of the ritual. In the name of the Father,|the Son, and the Holy-- Ha, ha, ha! Ha, ha, ha! Ha, ha, ha! Oh! Here you go, Father.|All clean. Oh, thank you so much. OK. Hee, hee, hee! You failed, McFeely. Your weapons are useless|against me. Let us pray. BOTH?|Our Father who Art in Heaven-- Ha ha! Stop it! Hallowed be Thy name. Ha ha! Zip it. Thy kingdom come. Your mother sucks cocks in Hell. Ha! Shit! Suck on this. Uh-oh! I let you go Let you go|like a dozen balloons Without even thinking I didn't know,|now I know It was much too soon It was much too soon Why can't you call|and say you miss me? So you think you made it|into the class, Shorty? I sure hope so, Cindy. You could use the grade, huh? Nah. I need a place to stay. Mom Dukes kicked me out,|but you know something? I learned something|very important in college-- the value of books. Really? Yeah. Look at this here. Free paper. Ha ha!|Shit, son. Yeah, so how|you digging college? I don't know. It's OK, I guess. I feel like such a geek|sometimes, though. Everyone is so cool,|and I'm...not. Oh, come on, Cindy. You ain't that bad. All you need is|a little bit of flavor. Hmm. Maybe some new gear. "Gear?" That's slang for "clothing." - Oh.|- Here. Come on. We gonna cool you up|right now. Don't sit like this,|first of all. Don't sit like that, son.|Sit cool. - OK.|- Right up, son. Feel yourself, son,|like that. Yeah. Now go like this. Uh. Uh, yeah. - That's cool.|- Yeah. Yeah. Now stand up,|let me show you some moves. Right, left. Right, left. Uh, son. Uh! Right, left. Right, kick. Uh, son. Uh, psych. Throw a little bit|of slang in there. Say, "Yo, that jacket|is tight, son. Ya mean?" Yo, that jacket is tight, son. - Ya mean?|- Ya mean? Yeah, something like that. Throw it all together. OK. Right, left. Right, kick, uh! Yo, that jacket is tight. Now run that shit, bitch.|Ya mean? That is the shit, dog. Oh, man.|You boners aren't ready yet? Dude, relax, man.|I'm telling you, We 'll get there on time,|all right? Yo, dogs, what y'all think? Tucked in or out? - Out, man.|- Out, man. Come on. No doubt. No doubt.|That's what I thought. You fuckheads would be ready if|you weren't partying all night. Come on, man.|It was so awesome. We got so wasted, man! I had, like, a keg myself. I woke up naked|in a tub of ice. All right! Yeah, man. Oh, shit, Ray,|you got a tattoo. Oh, shit.|What's it say? "Ray!" Oh, man. Oh, shit,|you got a tattoo, too. Oh, really? Dude! Dude, what's it say? "Fucked me." Oh, sweet, man.|"Ray..." "Fucked me." - "Ray..."|- "Fucked me." "Ray fucked me." Yeah! Ha ha! Whoo! What, man? Oh. Wedgie moment! Ha ha! Come on. You're gonna give me|a yeast infection. Hey, girl, that jacket|is slamming. Thanks. You better be careful,|though. Some girl|got an ass-whipping... over a jacket|stolen earlier today. Some people is so ghetto. What class we got next? Psychology. Oh! Me, too! 1 01? - In room 302 at 1 0?00?|- That's it! Oh! Uh-uh!|No. This is too much. I got these psychic powers|on line. Remind me to get|a lotto ticket tomorrow. Oh, don't split the pole now. That is very, very bad luck.|My psychic told me. You don't really believe|in that stuff, do you? Yes, I do. Very much. Are these all the subjects? Yes, sir.|I took the liberty of putting... those with near-death|experiences on the very top. Any of them hot? As I'm sure you are aware,|Professor... subjects who are close to death|are statistically more likely... to have|the suggestibility required... for paranormal investigation,|which is why, of course... I gave them|special consideration. Oh, good thinking, Dwight. Traumatized coeds|are a sure thing. Ooh, I like her. Oh, yes, sir.|That is Cindy Campbell-- classic abandoned|personality disorder. She seems guarded,|but willing. And this? That is Ray Wilkins, sir. I couldn't quite|figure him out... but he seemed very eager|and pleased to meet me. What's this? It's a picture that he sent|after the interview. Where did you find these kids? Sir, they're all survivors... of the Stevenston County|Massacre. Oh, fantastic! These kids are exactly|the catalyst we need... to awaken|the spirits of Hell House. Sir, exactly how are we going|to get them up there? We'll tell them... it's part of the class. We'll say--excuse me-- that they're participating|in a study... of sleep disorders. We are going|to make history, Dwight-- the first documented... unrefuted evidence|of life after death. Welcome, everybody. I'm Professor Oldman. Each of you have been|carefully selected... to be in this class... for which you receive|an automatic grade of "A"... upon completion. Now, this year's study|is insomnia. We are going to spend|the weekend together... where we've established|a controlled environment... in which we'll study|your various sleep disorders. Now, I'll be passing out|directions-- - I can do it.|- No. - No, Dwight.|- I can do it. I can...myself...do it. Now,|you should all be there... by 6 p.m. tonight|and plan to stay through Monday. I'll see you all this evening. Hey! You left your book|back there. Oh. Thanks. I'm Cindy. - Buddy.|- Hey. So, looks like we're gonna|spend the weekend together. Yeah. You want to get together|and study or something? Study? Ha! That was kind of bad. Ha, ha, ha! I'm sorry, Buddy. You seem like|a really nice guy... but I just got out of|a really bad relationship... so I'm not quite ready|to start dating yet. Oh. But, hey, you know,|maybe we could be friends. Sure. Yeah. Cool.|That--friends. OK. See you later, friend. All right, pal. Oh! Wedgie! Smell you later! As we go on, we remember All the good times We had together As our lives change Come whatever We will still be Friends forever Hey!|Will you shut the fuck up... and let me sing? La, la, la, la, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la, la, la... Ow! Hello? Oh! Hello? Hello? Hi, little guy.|Look at you. Little? I'm not little. I'm hung like a bull, lady.|Check it out. You ever seen|a bird dick this big? Too much for you, huh, baby? Yeah. All right.|Step off then, sweet cheeks. Come back when you want|some real loving. OK. Fucking tease. Hello? Aah! Oh, I'm--I'm sorry, child. Did I frighten you, child? Oh, I'm sorry.|Are you scared? All right.|I'll sing to you. God is in his holy temple Better? I'm here with|Professor Oldman's group. I'm Hanson.|I'm the caretaker. - Hi.|- Hi. And what's your name,|sweet child? I'm Cindy. Cindy. Oh, but the resemblance|is striking. Look at the thin cheek bones|and the same lips. Same--same eyes. Look at your hair. Oh, I'm sorry. You've got the same nose. Tickle, tickle. Be-boop, be-boop|on the nose. Ha, ha, ha! Shall I show you to your room? Oh! Oh, that's heavy.|Whoo! That's heavy! I better use my strong hand. - Oh! Clumsy.|- Oh! No, that's fine. Look, you got the panties-- I can take care of it. Look at--|Oh, what you got here? Ah! Can't forget your toothbrush. Oh! Gonna need that for later. OK. Here we go.|Follow me, child. - Oh, God.|- Watch my bottom. Coming through. Come on. Right this way. Here we are. So, um, do you|live here by yourself? Well, yes.|We've tried to rent it out... but people don't seem|to want to stay very long. Ha ha!|Oh, there's old Mother Kane... and that's old Master Kane. Who's that? That's Big Daddy Kane. Oh. Oh, he's cute. Oh, yeah. That was the master's|favorite toy. I don't know what|it's doing out here. I swear.|Sometimes I think... these toys have|a mind of their own. Ow! Ow! Right this way. Oh, no, no, no.|Not that room, sweetheart. No. That was the master's|mistress's room. Yeah, he kind of was|a little bit of a hornball. No. You go and stay|right over here. This was the room that belonged|to the love of his life... his wife, Caroline. I'll show it to you. Oh! Watch. My fanny's|coming through. Watch it.|Make room for fanny. Oh, wow! It's beautiful. Well, thank you, child. You know,|I have been working out. I've been doing|my bun busters every day. I squeeze really tight,|and then I let loose. I squeeze really tight... and then let loose. Ooh! OK. Ooh! Oh, yes. Look at this. Caroline looked beautiful|in that dress. In fact, she always|looked her best. Do you know that|she used to entertain... for royalty|and common folk and... even the President|of the United States. Ew. Oh! Oh, don't be frightened, child. This is just Mr. Kittles. He was the master's|favorite pet. He's been in the family|for generations. Look at him.|He hasn't aged a day. All right, child,|I think I'll take my leave. You let me know|if there's anything you need. Yes, and as you|can see, Professor... I've taken care|of everything... including medical supplies|and blood storage. We want to be safe. Are these cameras|all throughout the house? Yes, sir. I thought|that would be best. So if one of|our little chickadees... were to be taking a shower... which button would I press|to get a closeup? That one. This one? Ha! Excuse me, Professor... but your guests|have begun to arrive... and supper|shall be served shortly. OK. Thanks, handyman. I'm actually the caretaker. Oh, aren't those|cool new skates? Now, you be careful|with those. Don't want to fall|and break something. Oh, that's funny.|That's real funny. Let me give you a hand. Well, that--that's|awful kind of you. How about you give me|a standing ovation? Why don't you lift me up? Oh! OK. I see where|you're going with this one. You look familiar to me.|Were you in "Stomp"? Hey, you can kiss my grits. I think I'll be the bigger man|now and walk away. Walk away. Um, I'll go|and change for dinner. - OK.|- I'll see you shortly. Sounds good. I'll just run upstairs|and jump into my jogging suit. I'll be right down. Hey! Hey there, little guy.|How you doing? Fuck off, four eyes. I beg your pardon? I said,|"Fuck off, four eyes." Oh, I ought to|kick your ass. Hey! Hey! Hey! Relax, son.|It's just a bird. Hello, birdie.|Polly want a cracker? Polly wants|your mama's sweet ass. What did Polly say to me? I said, "Polly wants|your mama's sweet ass." You don't be talking|about my mama, son. You don't know my mama, son. Yeah, I know your mama.|I fucked her last night. You want beef?|I'll fuck you up! Ooh! I'm shaking.|I'm shaking. Now, fuck this. I'm gonna handle this shit|like a gentleman. Yo, hold my tooth, son. Yeah, come on, bitch. You and that|"Welcome Back, Kotter" haircut. Want a piece of me?|Come on. Bring it on. What, you hard core?|Give me some. - Bring it on, bitch.|- No, no. What? You gonna talk, son?|Then do it. Come on, pussy.|Let me out of here. I'll fuck you up. Hi, guys. - Hey.|- Hey. Hey, Buddy. - Hey, Cin.|- How you doing? Open chest! Come on. You got to be|quicker than that, "A" cup. Oh! Oh! Hey, guys. - Hey!|- How you doing? Well, are you boys|just gonna sit there... with your mouths open... or is someone gonna|offer me a seat? Oh! Ow! I warmed it up for you. It's the best seat|in the house. Second best. Ew. Professor,|is this the same house... that a young girl|was possessed by a demon... or something? Yes, it was reported|but never substantiated. All right. Well, uh... who'd like some appetizers? - Oh, yeah.|- Yeah. That's what I like to hear. Hey, these buns look good. Oh, yeah... and they're so soft and warm. - Ray!|- Oh, I'm sorry. My bad. These are delicious. Thank you, my child. I made them by hand. OK! Here we go. I think|the taters are just about done. I'm just gonna give them|one quick whisk here. OK, now. Dig in. All right. Now it's time for the turkey. Oh, what a beautiful bird. - No!|- No, man! Hey! Hey! Hey, man. Why don't you|just relax... and just let me|do that for you? - Yeah.|- Rest that little hand. It's my pleasure, but what|a nice young man to offer. Let me give you|a little pinch there. Come on. Fuck it! You know, a lot of people... are kind of intimidated... about making a turkey,|but... really it's very simple. You just have to know|the anatomy of a turkey... and it's got, over here... just the tiniest|little stinkhole... but it's big enough|to get your hand... right up inside it. Uh! Uh! Stuff the shit out of it. I cook it|with all the giblets-- the penises|and the ginies... And now, a lot of people|like to baste their turkeys... but I use this. I lick like that... and get|into the little... hiney... hiney ho... That's nice and good. I don't know|what the hell that is... but I'll lick it anyway. Up and down... and then I like to get|that right on there... Hiawatha! And I got one of these. I'm gonna pull that off... and bam! That just|kicks it up a little bit. All right.|I think that's almost... ready now. And then we|bring it to the table. Mmm, good. All right. Who's ready for a wing? Yours or the turkey's? Ha, ha, ha! I just thought|that was funny. Well, I know what you'd like. How about a leg? Whoo! How about two? Ha ha! How about|I take these two legs... and shove|them right up your ass-- all the way to the knee! Dwight. Dwight, relax. Hanson... may I ask you is there|something on the menu... that you haven't|personally prepared? Well, I ordered out|the dessert. All right! Make room. Here comes the pie. All right. OK. Mmm. Who wants the first piece|of that pie? Huh? I see you|eyeing the first piece. Oh, that's good. Mm mmm.|Pass that down to her. Thank you. That's nice. My germs. Ha, ha, ha! My germs. Ha, ha, ha! My germs!|Ha, ha, ha! Hey... Come play with me. Come play. Ha ha! Hello? Ooh! Cindy... Cindy. Who is it? I want to help you, Cindy. Who are you? You're in danger, Cindy. I want to help you. Help me how?|Who's in danger? Check the music room. Where are you? Check|the fucking music room! Hey, Cindy, think fast! Ohh! Uhh! Aah! Dude, you suck! Ow. Buddy... about|this friendship thing-- Yeah, I think it is so cool|having a girl as a friend. That's just it, Buddy. I am a girl. You can't be so rough|with me. Well, then what the hell|are we supposed to do? Gentle stuff. You know, like talking and... sharing secrets|and past experiences. You know, stuff like that. That sounds kind of gay. I guess since you're a girl|it's all right. - Yeah. It'll be fine.|- All right. Hey, listen. Will you come|check something out with me? Sure. We can practice|our talking. Yeah. Exactly. I want to tell you|about this thing... that happened to me|when I was in high school. Really? What happened? This hot Spanish chick's|licking my nuts-- Buddy! No, no.|This is the best part. Oh, my God. Look. Oh, dude!|Someone's on the rag! Shh! They lead straight|to the bookcase. God. Must be a secret study|or something. Wow. Oh, my God. It says Hugh Kane|and his mistress... were murdered|in this house. Whoa. Check this out. This must be his wife. Oh, my God.|She looks just like you. You think? - She's really beautiful.|- Yeah. Well, actually,|her hair doesn't have... as many split ends as yours... and her skin isn't|as oily as yours, either. Also, sometimes your eyes|get kind of squinty... and you look like|you might have Down Syndrome. Other than that, though,|the resemblance is uncanny. Really? Also, her tits are perfect. They're not pointy|or funny-looking like yours... or spaced too far apart. OK! Enough! God. Oh, my God, look at this. "Caroline." Must have been hers. Oh, my God. All right.|Let's get out of here. This place|gives me the creeps. OK. Grab the chest. Oh, thanks. - Buddy!|- What? - I meant the chest.|- Right. MAN: What the-- Hey. Nice. Mm-hmm... Mmm...mmm. Oh! Oh! OK! Hello! If I had known,|I would have freshened up! I wish you were|freshened up, too. Get up there! Come on! Oh, you want this? Oh, yeah. Ooh, yeah. That's it, daddy. Take it like you want it. Give it to me!|Give it to me! Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Yeah! Come here! Bring it on! Kinky's my middle name, bitch! Ooh, yeah! That was the best|that I've ever had. Oh. Mrs. Huey Kane. Hmm? Doesn't that just|have a ring to it? Ha ha! Mmm...baby? Where you going? Call me! Let's do something freaky. Hee hee!|Like what, Ray? I don't know. Why don't you|talk dirty to me? I don't know|what to say, Ray. Come on.|Just make something up. Oh, Ray,|why do you make me so bad? Come on.|Because you a bad girl. OK. I'm gonna work this. Yeah. Work it. I'm gonna make this mine. Mmm. It's all yours.|Oh, yeah. I'm gonna|piss on your face... and then I'm gonna fart|in your mouth. Yeah! And then I'm gonna|shit on these walls, Ray! Ooh! Hey! Too dirty? Hello? Oh, hey, kitty, kitty. Hi, little fella. Aah! Aah! Aah! OK. OK. That's OK, cat. I think I know|why you're mad, Mr. Cat. I didn't mean to go poopie|in your litter box. Help!|My pussy's gone crazy! Aah! Aah! Ha, ha, ha! Aah! Oh! Aah! Aah! OK. You want a piece of me? Huh? Yeah! How do you like that,|little pussy? Come on! Yeah! Yeah! Come on! Aah! Ohh! Is that all you got? Huh? Come on! Give me your best shot! I'm telling you,|Professor... it was possessed. Theo, did you see|this animal? No, I didn't. I heard|all the commotion... but by the time|I went in there... I guess it was gone. Mm-hmm. What? So you think|I did this to myself?. No. All I'm saying|is that cats are known... to be very|territorial animals... and it's likely|that it did attack... but that doesn't mean|it was possessed. Maybe you two should|sleep together. What are you getting at,|Professor? I'm just saying that if indeed|this cat did attack... it's less likely to come back|if the two of you were... let's say...together. Oh, come on, it's college. It's time for you two|to experiment. I don't think we're gonna|be getting much help here. Oh, on the contrary,|actually... I'd be more than happy|to walk you through it. Come on, Cin. I'll make sure|you get tucked in. Good idea. Don't forget to kiss|each other good night. There's something going on|in this house, Professor. I'm not crazy! Aah! 1, 2... 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8... 9, Brandon, 1 0... 1 1, Brandon, come on!|Count with me! Hey, you.|Hee, hee, hee, hee! Come here a minute.|Ha, ha, ha, ha! Come here. Ha, ha, ha, ha! Peekaboo!|Ha, ha, ha, ha! Come on, let's play! This is a fun game, huh? Hey, what are you doing? Uncle Ray-Ray's got a game. Hey, get your finger|out of there. Tickle, tickle,|tickle, tickle... Aah! Aah! You want to play|with Uncle Ray? Peekaboo!|Ha, ha, ha, ha! Aah! Aah! Help! Aah! Oh, God! RAY: Here's|a little balloon animal. Da, da, da, da, da|da, da, da, da! Ohh! "I can't take|living with him any longer. "He's becoming a monster. "I suspect he was|having an affair. "I believe he's sleeping|with our baby-sitter Victoria. "It must be why|he keeps her around... "because we have|no children." Cindy... I want you to know|what happened, Cindy. Hello, Cindy. Hello, Professor. I take it you're not|mad at me anymore. I wouldn't go that far,|Professor. Why don't you just relax? Hey! Uh, uh... Aha. Ha ha. Uh-huh. I think she's starting|to suspect something. Who? Your wife. Aah! Oh, my God. It happened right here. What? She came home. - She saw them!|- Saw who? I was in my room|reading her journal. Then I found this dress|in the closet. That's all I remember. What about you, Ray? Oh, I bought mine|on Friday. I just came down|to get a banana. Shit is hot, right? You're a nice little plant. You drink all this|little water up... so you can grow up to be|a nice strong charon plant. Yes. Yes. And then you'll be smoked|by all the rappers... and make them do|a whole lot of dumb shit... that fuck up their careers. Yes, you will. Night-night, baby. I'm gonna rob|that bitch tonight. Lockdown Records presents... A Hip-Hop Christmas. You'll get such classics... As "Santa Claus|Is Coming on Moms... " That's the shit, son! "I'm Dreaming|of a White Woman... " and who could forget|"Frosty the Dopeman"? And how about|"All I want for Christmas... Is the Charges Dropped... " "Deez Nuts Roasting|On an Open Fire... " "A Sleigh Ride In My '64... " "Ante Up, Bitch,|It's Christmas... " and many more! Yo, I'm gonna buy|that shit, son! Just $19. 95... Aah! I'm sorry! I didn't mean|to smoke your relatives! Please! No! I didn't do it by myself! Whitney and Bobby helped me! Please! Help me! Aah! Shit, son! Wait! No! Please! Oh! Oh, shit, son! Oh, shit! Oh, my God! Aah! Oh, shit!|I smell something burning! Oh, stop! It's me! I got an idea! Oh, wait a second! Hold on, Shorty! Don't rescue me yet. I'm getting high|as a motherfucker! Toke, toke, toke, toke! Take it to the head!|Take it to the head! Oh, you take it|like a bitch. Put the Shorty down... and I'll give you|Funyons and Cheetos. Oh, shit! Oh, shit! This shit burns|more than a perm! Aah! Ha, ha, ha! There's a whole lot|of freaky shit... going on in this house. There's more to this story|than the Professor told us. Last night,|I found a secret room... and I found all these|newspaper clippings... about Hugh Kane. He was a really evil man. And I found a picture|of his wife. Oh, my God!|She looks just like you. You think? She doesn't have|as many split ends... and her skin's|not as oily as yours. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Sometimes you do this little|squinty thing with your eyes. It looks like you got|Down Syndrome or something. Oh, yeah,|y'all look just alike... except she got|some perfect boobs... and yours look like|them old orangutan titties. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!|Shit, son! I'll put you in the full nelson|and lick them. Ha, ha, ha, ha! OK! Enough! Anyway, I think|she killed him... and now he wants me. Yeah. Right, bitch. Morning, Dwight.|Let me help you. I don't need your help. I can do it myself. Aah! OK. Professor,|uh, we need to talk. What is it, Dwight? I think|you should consider... cutting the experiment short. What? This poltergeist is growing|increasingly more violent. I think we're all|in danger here... and I've got to put|my foot down... and stand up for|what I believe in... and say that|we've got to pull the plug. Whoa, whoa, whoa,|whoa, whoa, Dwight. I say when we pull the plug. We are on the verge|of greatness... and I am this close|to getting laid. Now, the bus arrives|on Monday. No one leaves till then. Here are|the keys to the gate. No one gets access to them. Yes, sir. Guys, I think|the Professor's up to something. I heard Dwight|tell the Professor... there could be|a poltergeist in the house... and that we could all|be in danger! Oh, no, son!|Not a poltergeist! What's a poltergeist? I'm getting out of here. No. We can't go anywhere.|The gates are locked. Dwight's the only one|who has the keys. - Baby, get my Vaseline.|- I'll handle-- Get my Vaseline, a banana,|and some duct tape. I'm gonna break his legs. I'm gonna fuck|that little cripple up! Guys, just give me|five minutes alone with him. I'll get the keys. Hello, Dwight. Oh. Hi, Theo. What you working on? Uh, just a little experiment. Oh. Work, work, work. Is that all you ever do? Well, there's a lot|riding on this project. You know, the Professor... might have|everyone else fooled... but I know|who the real brains... behind this operation is. Oh, yeah? You do, huh? Mm-hmm. That's what|turns me on about you. You're so smart. Ahh. And those sexy eyes. Ha ha. Oh! Why don't I put|some music on, huh? Yeah. Music. Wha-- You know, Dwight... I hear|you're the only one... who has|the keys to the gate. Uhh... Ha. That's true.|It is. I'm-- Correct. What if... I wanted to borrow|those keys? Oh, dear sweet God in Heaven. I...yaaa, I can't. Oh, come on.|Yes, you can, baby. - No.|- Please? I mean-- Look. You help me|by giving me the keys... and I'll help by giving you...|[ Zip ] Hey, wait, wait, wait!|Whoa! Hey, I don't need|your help, OK, lady? I can do it myself. Woo-hoo! Hey, look! I'm tossing my own salad! Ow! Oh. So this is your secret room. Well... this just isn't|gonna work now, is it? Oh, Professor. Come over here. Uh-huh! This way, you big hunk. Ahem. Have we met? Follow me. Are you playing|a little game? Where are you? Come here, baby. Ha, ha, ha, ha! No! Aah! - Is everybody here?|- Yeah. All right. Let's go. - Oh!|- Oh, shit, son! He's not gonna|let us out of here! He's gonna kill us! Oh, look.|A rocket scientist. All right. Quick.|Everybody to the laboratory. Move! Come on! Hurry up! You all are fucked! Lock the door. OK. We have to destroy it. That's great. How are we gonna destroy|what we can't see? I got it! We'll shave off|our pubic hairs... and wear the shampoo|for two weeks! No. Listen. Listen. We're gonna use these guns. They emit a bolt|of concentrated energy... which can damage|the ectoplasmic cells... and destroy the ghost. Now, there's no more ammunition. Conserve it. Use it wisely. - Shut up.|- Ow! Ha, ha, ha, ha! Hey! Hey! Hey!|Conserve your ammunition. My bad. All right.|Now, the only way... we're gonna be able|to track these ghosts... is if we're all wearing|one of these. These are thermo goggles. They work on the principle|of body heat. They're so powerful,|they can detect... where any bodily fluids|have been... even if|they've been wiped clean. What? Ew. Are my glasses crooked? Now listen,|that ghost may be invisible... but we have the advantage|of being armed... with the most sophisticated|high-tech equipment... known to man. How do we stay in touch|with each other? Do we have|some walkie-talkies? No. We have these. Those is Dixie cups. Well, we kind|of ran short of funds... after the guns|and the goggles. All right.|Now let's split up. Uh-uh! Uh-uh! Uh-uh! Now wait a minute!|Hold up! How come every time|some scary shit happens... that we need|to stick together... you white people always say,|"Let's split up"? She's right.|We should stick together. Yes!|That's what I'm saying! She's right. OK. You three, follow me. Ain't that a bitch? We're gonna die, y'all. Ah. Did you hear that? Hell, yeah. Oh! Where's Shorty? I don't know. Shorty! Shorty! Shorty! Oh. Damn. All right.|You wait right here. I'll be right back. - OK.|- All right. - Wow.|- What is this? I don't know. Looks like the furnace room. - Let's go.|- No, wait. In that newspaper article... it said that Hugh Kane|was killed in the furnace. Oh, wow. Look at this. There's so many ashes, Buddy. What are you doing? Hold it. Aah! Aah! Aah! Let's split up.|I'll meet you on the other end. - OK.|- Wait. Good luck. I love you! Aah! - Oh, Shorty!|- Cindy! There's a monster chasing me. What are we gonna do? - I got it!|- Yeah? Oh! Shorty! Shorty! Aah! Damn. Why does|the little bitch... got to bring that shit|over here? OK. Well, maybe|she won't see me. Somebody help me! Brenda! Shit, she saw me. OK. OK. Oh! Aah! Ohh! Thank you, Lord! Aah! OK. Now let|that shit just-- just mutilate|her white ass and leave. Damn, bitch, please die! Oh, my God, Brenda!|We're gonna die! It would have|just been you... if you had just|shut the fuck up! It's coming! What is it? Is it a monster?|Is it a monster? Cindy? This is a skeleton.|This is bones. Would you run|from Calista Flockhart? Shut your ass up. Ha, ha, ha! Look. He crazy now. I'm sorry, Mr. Skeleton.|Here. Ha! Gotcha! Psych! Have a nice trip. Ha, ha, ha! Ha, ha, ha! Hey, girl, I got an idea. Come on. Ha ha. Very funny. Whoo! Ooh! Ha, ha, ha! Now get on out of here! Somebody gonna|catch an ass-whupping... when I come back. Oh, Brenda,|you are so brave. You know, you really are|my best friend, Cindy. You guys OK? - Yeah.|- Please. It takes more than a little bag|of bones to scare me. Wedgie! Ha, ha, ha! The ghost has Buddy! Ah! My ass! Brenda, do something! OK! Aah! I thought|I was your best friend. Was. I'm gonna miss you, girl! Get my gun! Oh! Are you OK? Ow. Oh, my God, you're bleeding. Come on. I think there's|a first-aid kit in the lab. Come on. Ooh! Huey...baby... where are you? My love? Are you there? Huey? Baby! Baby, I got|to talk to you. - No. Go away!|- Baby? Oh! Get away from me! Come on, baby.|We can work this out. I mean,|if we just stick together... no one can hurt us,|my love. It was just a booty call! Ow! Ooh! Ow! Oh! Aah! Why won't you talk to me? Because you gave me crabs. Aah! You are the weakest link.|Good-bye! Aah! Ooh. Hey. How you doing?|Ha, ha, ha! Aah! No, no. No kissing.|No kissing. No. Leave this on.|Leave this on. You look beautiful|just like that. Yeah. Yeah. Oh! Oh! Oh, shit! Ohh! No, no, no. Don't fuck it up. Ohh. I've been thinking about|this whole friendship thing. I've never had a friend... who cared for me|the way you do. I mean, there's Ray... but he cares for me|in a different way... you know,|like bringing me flowers... and running my bath water. And there's nights|when I wake up screaming... and I look over,|and Ray's in my bed holding me. Anyway... seeing as how tonight may be|our last night together... I was thinking-- That we should take our|friendship a little bit further. - Yes.|- Oh, Buddy! I was thinking|the exact same thing. This might be|our last night alive... and I want to take|full advantage of it. I was thinking the same thing! I want to be able to act out|our innermost fantasies. Oh, great. Like... I've always wanted|to walk on the moon. Huh? Buuuuudyyyy. Ha, ha, ha! What about you, Buddy?|What do you want to do? Well... He's in here. Oh! Aah! Aah! Aah! Oh, my God.|He locked us in. You should call for help. Hello! Hello.|Can you hear me? Come in! Come in! Copy! Do you copy me? We have a situation here! Breaker! Oh, my God. They can't hear me! Must be these walls|or something. OK. All right. You stay down here.|I'll go check upstairs. OK. Ow! Ah! - Do you need help or--|- No! OK. What do I look like to you? Just trying to be nice. Cover me! What do you want me to do? Cover me! Not literally.|I'm serpentining! They taught me that-- Merchant marines.|Two years. Spent two years|on my belly in Danang. - Yeah.|- Look! Look. Look what|the cripple's doing. Oh, shit. Ow-ow-ow! Look, I know you're proud.|Just let me help you up-- Step it back, candy pants! Fine. Oh, what are we gonna do? I'm cold. I can't feel my body,|I'm so cold. Buddy, can you feel this? No. Try a little higher. What about that? Mm-mmm. Keep rubbing. Ohh. Oh, Buddy,|I don't think I'm re-- Cindy, please!|It's a matter of life and death. I'm asking you... in the name of love. OK, Buddy. In the name of love. Ohh. Mmm. Ohh. Oh, Cindy... I don't know how much longer|I can hold on. Don't you say|your good-byes. You're gonna|get out of here... and you're gonna go on... and you're gonna|have lots of little babies. And you're gonna|die an old man... Old man. Warm in his bed. - Not here!|- No. - Not like this!|- Amen. - Do you understand me?|- Oh, yeah. Coming to this house|was the best thing... that ever happened to me. Oh, me, too. And for that...|I am so thankful. Oh, don't let go. Never!|I'll never let go! - I feel weak.|- Buddy! - I'm com--|- Come back! Aah! All right, Dwight Hartman... it's your time to shine. All right. Come on. Come on, Kane. Show yourself! Look. I don't even need|my thermal goggles. Aah! Ha, ha, ha! Oh! Aah! Ah. Ah. Ow! That's right, mother-- Ha, ha, ha! Whoa! Ow-ow-ow! Ha, ha, ha! Aah! Hey, Kane, you hungry? How about|a little snack of this? Ha ha! Aah! Ow. Ow. No. Ow. Ow-ow-ow. Gotcha! Aaargh! I know what you're thinking. Did I fire 3 shots or 1 1 7? Well, do you feel lucky... punk? Do you...feel lucky? Do you feel lucky, punk? Shoot me, motherfucker! OK. Fine. Make your best move, ass bite. - Raaa!|- Aaah! Oh. Whayaaa! Whoa! Whoo! Aah! Uh. Help! Help! Here. Take my hand. Ahh! Come on. You're gonna fall|unless you take my hand... No. Give me|your other hand. No. My other hand|isn't strong enough. You take my little hand. No! Get it away from me! Take it! Take my hand! Aah! Eww. No. No. Why me? No. Come on. No. I've served you well.|Don't you do this to me. No, please. Please, no. Ple-ple-ple--Aah! OK, Buddy. It's time for us|to get out of here. Roger. Roger.|Come in, Roger. Ray, this is Cindy. I don't want|to talk to Cindy. I want to talk to Roger. Roger, where you at, man?|Quit fucking around. Ray, listen.|The ghost is close. He almost got us.|Buddy's hurt. - What's your location?|- I'm right behind you. Ray, thank God.|OK. Where's Shorty? I don't--I don't know. He was here|just a minute ago. Listen,|you go help Buddy in the lab. - I'll go check upstairs.|- All right. Mmm. That smells good. Hello, Cindy. Say heloo to Cindy, Shorty. Heloo...Cindy. Shorty, are you OK? Talk to me! Morphine? Chloroform? Horse tranquilizers?|You drugged him! I did not.|That's all his stuff. Yaah! All right, Shorty. Who's ready|for the main course? Me! Me. Oh, Hanson, please. No. Oh. What the fuck? Beetlejuice in the house. This is your brains|on drugs. Hee! Oof. Oh, shit, son. Aah! Aah! Oh. Shorty! Got me. Cindy, what's going on? It's Hanson.|He's possessed. Let's get him. Whoo! Ahh. Angel style! Hi-yah! Aah! Smack my bitch up Aah! Uh! Whoo! OK. Boo! Come on. Aah! - Oh!|- Aah! Smack my bitch up Aah! OK. Aaaaaaah... Oh, nooo! Oh! Ohh. Hee, hee, hee! Ooh! Aah! Hi-yi! Aah! Aah! Whoo! Whoo! Oh! Ooh! Ooh! Ow. Shit. Ahh! You OK, Dwight? I--I can't feel my legs. Aah!|I can't feel my legs! You never could. You stay out of this,|all right? Now listen. You get the others|and meet us upstairs. - All right?|- OK. You stay here. Ray-Ray, I need your help.|Give me your belt. - Hi-yah!|- Hah! Heee! Hmmm. The crane. Ha! The crouching tiger. The drunken monkey. Ooh, ooh, ooh|ah, ah, ah! The mad cow. Motherfucker! Moo! Aah! The camel toe. Yow-hi! Get the hell|out of there, guys! Come on! Ray, give me a 1 80. OK. Listen.|Someone has to go... and lure him|onto that platform. All right. I'll go. Cindy, let me-- No, Buddy! I'm the one he wants. Actually, I was saying... let me have your computer|if you die. Oh. OK. But as soon as|he gets there... you have to get off. OK. All right. 1 80 me. Hugh Kane, it's me you want! Come get me! I'm not afraid anymore! Show yourself! Aah! Oh! Aah! Ooh. Dwight, he's here.|Do something. I can't.|She's still on the platform. If I throw the switch,|she'll die. Cindy, get out of there!|You'll get killed! Aah! Ha, ha, ha! Move out of the way! I'll get her! Why is he running so slow? Ray! Run faster! OK! Throw the switch! Now you will be mine...|forever! Ray, you saved me. Are you OK? I'm fine. I broke my fall. Ohh. Ah. Oh. - Yes!|- Yes! Hey, y'all.|What's going on? Shorty, you made it.|You're alive! Yeah.|It was traumatic. It really was... and it's taking me|a while to get over it, but, you know... now that we're out of the house|and back in school... I just know that|everything's gonna be OK. Oh, God,|will you shut the fuck up? Why couldn't you have|just left me there to die? Give me a fucking rope.|I'll hang myself. Here I go.|I'm hanging myself. Hello? Oh, hi, Dad. Are you having fun|on your vacation? Oh, no. Birds are|very clean animals. He's no trouble at all. Goddamn it! What the fuck|did you put in this birdseed? Oh, Dad, Buddy's here.|I got to go. OK. I love you. Bye. God, that was a big one. - Hey, Buddy!|- Surprise. Open chest! Oh! You got to be quicker|than that, pencil dick. Come on. Hey, look out. A bee. Buddy,|I've never had anyone... be so protective|of me before. That's what your man's|supposed to do. Two hot dogs. Buddy, get him! Buddy? Buddy? I've come back for you. No! This can't be happening! Mm-hmm.|It is happening. Now we're gonna be|together forever. Nooooo! Yes! Did you hear something? No. I didn't hear nothing. Ohh. |
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Christmas Poo South Park 01x11 - Toms Rhinoplasty South Park 01x12 - Mecha Striesand South Park 01x13 - Cartmans Mom is a Dirty Slut Soylent Green 1973 Spacehunter 1983 Spanish Prisoner The CD1 Spanish Prisoner The CD2 Spark the Lighter Spartacus 2004 CD1 Spartacus 2004 CD2 Spartacus Fixed 1960 Spartan 2004 CD1 Spartan 2004 CD2 Spawn (1997) Spawn (Directors Cut) Species 3 CD1 Species 3 CD2 Speed 2 - Cruise Control Spellbound (Hitchcock 1945) Spetters 1980 Spider-Man CD1 Spider-Man CD2 Spider (2002) Spider Man 2 CD1 Spider Man 2 CD2 Spies Like Us 1985 Spirit of the Beehive Spirited Away CD1 Spirited Away CD2 Spirits of the Dead 1968 CD1 Spirits of the Dead 1968 CD2 Splash Spoilers The Spongebob Squarepants The Movie Springtime In A Small Town Spun (Unrated Version) Spy Game Spy Hard Spy Who Came In from the Cold The Spy Who Loved Me The Spy Who Shagged Me The - New Line Platinum Series Spygirl CD1 Spygirl CD2 Square Peg Squirm St Johns Wort - (Otogiriso) 25fps 2001 Stage Beauty 2004 Stage Fright 1950 Stagecoach Stalag 17 Stalker 1979 CD1 Stalker 1979 CD2 Star Trek Generations CD1 Star Trek Generations CD2 Star Wars - Episode II Attack of the Clones Star Wars - Episode IV A New Hope Star Wars - Episode I The Phantom Menace Star Wars Episode 4 (A New Hope) CD1 Star Wars Episode 4 (A New Hope) CD2 Star Wars Episode 5 (Empire Strikes Back) CD1 Star Wars Episode 5 (Empire Strikes Back) CD2 Star Wars Episode 6 (Return of the Jedi) CD1 Star Wars Episode 6 (Return of the Jedi) CD2 Stargate SG1 1x01 Children of the Gods Stargate SG1 1x02 The enemy Within Stargate SG1 1x03 Emancipation Stargate SG1 1x04 The Broca Divide Stargate SG1 1x05 The First Commandment Stargate SG1 1x06 Cold Lazarus Stargate SG1 1x07 The Nox Stargate SG1 1x08 Brief Candle Stargate SG1 1x09 Thors Hammer Stargate SG1 1x10 The Torment of Tantalus Stargate SG1 1x11 Bloodlines Stargate SG1 1x12 Fire and Water Stargate SG1 1x13 Hathor Stargate SG1 1x14 Singularity Stargate SG1 1x15 The Cor AI Stargate SG1 1x16 Enigma Stargate SG1 1x17 Solitudes Stargate SG1 1x18 Tin Man Stargate SG1 1x19 There but for the Grace of God Stargate SG1 1x20 Politics Stargate SG1 1x21 Within the Serpents Grasp Stargate SG1 2x01 The serpents lair Stargate SG1 2x02 In the line of duty Stargate SG1 2x03 Prisoners Stargate SG1 2x04 The gamekeeper Stargate SG1 2x05 Need Stargate SG1 2x06 Thors chariot Stargate SG1 2x07 Message in a bottle Stargate SG1 2x08 Family Stargate SG1 2x09 Secrets Stargate SG1 2x10 Bane Stargate SG1 2x11 The tokra part 1 Stargate SG1 2x12 The tokra part 2 Stargate SG1 2x13 Spirits Stargate SG1 2x14 Touchstone Stargate SG1 2x15 The fifth race Stargate SG1 2x16 A matter of time Stargate SG1 2x17 Holiday Stargate SG1 2x18 Serpents song Stargate SG1 2x19 One false step Stargate SG1 2x20 Show and tell Stargate SG1 2x21 1969 Stargate SG1 3x01 Into The Fire II Stargate SG1 3x02 Seth Stargate SG1 3x03 Fair Game Stargate SG1 3x04 Legacy Stargate SG1 3x05 Learning Curve Stargate SG1 3x06 Point Of View Stargate SG1 3x07 Deadman Switch Stargate SG1 3x08 Demons Stargate SG1 3x09 Rules Of Engagement Stargate SG1 3x10 Forever In A Day Stargate SG1 3x11 Past And Present Stargate SG1 3x12 Jolinars Memories Stargate SG1 3x13 The Devil You Know Stargate SG1 3x14 Foothold Stargate SG1 3x15 Pretense Stargate SG1 3x16 Urgo Stargate SG1 3x17 A Hundred Days Stargate SG1 3x18 Shades Of Grey Stargate SG1 3x19 New Ground Stargate SG1 3x20 Maternal Instinct Stargate SG1 3x21 Crystal Skull Stargate SG1 3x22 Nemesis Stargate SG1 4x01 Small Victories Stargate SG1 4x02 The Other Side Stargate SG1 4x03 Upgrades Stargate SG1 4x04 Crossroads Stargate SG1 4x05 Divide And Conquer Stargate SG1 4x06 Window Of Opportunity Stargate SG1 4x07 Watergate Stargate SG1 4x08 The First Ones Stargate SG1 4x09 Scorched Earth Stargate SG1 4x10 Beneath The Surface Stargate SG1 4x11 Point Of No Return Stargate SG1 4x12 Tangent Stargate SG1 4x13 The Curse Stargate SG1 4x14 The Serpents Venom Stargate SG1 4x15 Chain Reaction Stargate SG1 4x16 2010 Stargate SG1 4x17 Absolute Power Stargate SG1 4x18 The Light Stargate SG1 4x19 Prodigy Stargate SG1 4x20 Entity Stargate SG1 4x21 Double Jeopardy Stargate SG1 4x22 Exodus Stargate SG1 5x01 Enemies Stargate SG1 5x02 Threshold Stargate SG1 5x03 Ascension Stargate SG1 5x04 Fifth Man Stargate SG1 5x05 Red Sky Stargate SG1 5x06 Rite Of Passage Stargate SG1 5x07 Beast Of Burden Stargate SG1 5x08 The Tomb Stargate SG1 5x09 Between Two Fires Stargate SG1 5x10 2001 Stargate SG1 5x11 Desperate Measures Stargate SG1 5x12 Wormhole X-Treme Stargate SG1 5x13 Proving Ground Stargate SG1 5x14 48 Hours Stargate SG1 5x15 Summit Stargate SG1 5x16 Last Stand Stargate SG1 5x17 Failsafe Stargate SG1 5x18 The Warrior Stargate SG1 5x19 Menace Stargate SG1 5x20 The Sentinel Stargate SG1 5x21 Meridian Stargate SG1 5x22 Revelations Stargate SG1 6x01 Redemption Part 1 Stargate SG1 6x02 Redemption Part 2 Stargate SG1 6x03 Descent Stargate SG1 6x04 Frozen Stargate SG1 6x05 Nightwalkers Stargate SG1 6x06 Abyss Stargate SG1 6x07 Shadow Play Stargate SG1 6x08 The Other Guys Stargate SG1 6x09 Allegiance Stargate SG1 6x10 Cure Stargate SG1 6x11 Prometheus Stargate SG1 6x12 Unnatural Selection Stargate SG1 6x13 Sight Unseen Stargate SG1 6x14 Smoke n Mirrors Stargate SG1 6x15 Paradise Lost Stargate SG1 6x16 Metamorphosis Stargate SG1 6x17 Disclosure Stargate SG1 6x18 Forsaken Stargate SG1 6x19 The Changeling Stargate SG1 6x20 Memento Stargate SG1 6x21 Prophecy Stargate SG1 6x22 Full Circle Stargate SG1 7x01 Fallen Stargate SG1 7x02 Homecoming Stargate SG1 7x03 Fragile Balance Stargate SG1 7x04 Orpheus Stargate SG1 7x05 Revisions Stargate SG1 7x06 Lifeboat Stargate SG1 7x07 Enemy Mine Stargate SG1 7x08 Space Race Stargate SG1 7x09 Avenger 2 0 Stargate SG1 7x10 Birthright Stargate SG1 7x10 Heroes II Stargate SG1 7x11 Evolution I Stargate SG1 7x12 Evolution II Stargate SG1 7x13 Grace Stargate SG1 7x14 Fallout Stargate SG1 7x15 Chimera Stargate SG1 7x16 Death Knell Stargate SG1 7x17 Heroes I Stargate SG1 7x19 Resurrection Stargate SG1 7x20 Inauguration Stargate SG1 7x21-22 The Lost City I n II Starship Troopers (Special Edition) Starship Troopers 2 Story Of A Kiss Strada La Strange aventure de Docteur Molyneux Street Of Love And Hope (Nagisa Oshima 1959) Street of shame (Akasen chitai) Streetcar Named Desire A Style Wars Suicide Regimen Sukces 2003 Summer Tale A 2000 Sunday Lunch (2003) Super 8 Stories Superman IV - The Quest for Peace Surviving the Game Swedish Love Story A (1970) CD1 Swedish Love Story A (1970) CD2 Sweetest Thing The (Unrated Version) Swept Away Swordsman III - The East is Red Sylvester - Canned Feud (1951) Sylvester - Speedy Gonzales (1955) Sylvester and Elmer - Kit for Cat (1948) Sylvester and Porky - Scaredy Cat (1948) Sylvester and Tweety - Canary Row (1950) Sylvester and Tweety - Putty Tat Trouble (1951) Sylvester and Tweety - Tweetys SOS (1951) |
