Santa Claus 2
- l'm gettin' somethin' on the sonar! - What is it?
Strong reading from underneath the cap rock, sir!
- Possible oil flow? - Still analysing.
Sounds like, uh...
Let's go skating!
- They're coming right at us! - Take us to Elfcon three!
Take us to Elfcon three.
These guys aren't stopping.
- Take us to Elfcon two! - Let's go to Elfcon two.
We have a partridge in a pear tree.
You take us to Elfcon one. Let's rig for silent running.
- Look alive, everybody! - OK, we're at Elfcon one.
[beeping and whirring]
- l lost it! - What do you mean, you lost it?
Sir, you're gonna want to hear this.
[Smokey Robinson sings] * You better watch out
* You better not cry
* You better not pout and I'm telling you why
Find out where that music's coming from.
Santa, l've got her on the locator.
* He knows when you are sleeping
* He knows when you're awake
* He knows if you've been bad or good
* So be good for goodness'...
* Yeah, yeah, yeah
* You better watch out
* You better not cry
* You better not pout
* And I'm telling you why
* Santa Claus is coming to tow-...
- What now? - lt's just gone.
ln the middle of the chorus!
Nobody needs to know about this.
Maybe we should mention the Smokey Robinson thing, sir.
[elf over Tannoy] We're at Elfcon four. All clear.
Curtis, what do you say we get you headphones this Christmas?
lt's all right, everybody. Let's get back to work.
Curtis, you're 900 years old. Grow up!
You know l didn't break any of the rules -
according to The Santa Handbook.
The handbook! Curtis, do you go pee-pee with that thing?
lt says elves are encouraged to listen to music.
lt makes them more creative, more productive and more alert.
[reindeer babbles with excitement]
Aagghh! [loud thump]
- lt's OK. - Let's go!
ls he all right?
Wow! That's gonna leave a mark.
ls that Blitzen? Looks like Prancer.
- Who is that? - lt was Chet.
- A reindeer in training. - Oh.
Well, please tell me that it's early in his training.
Wow! Nice fall.
Curtis, when are you gonna tell him?
lt's so cold up here. How can you not be freezing?
You have not seen cold till you see where my dad lives. lt's...
Don't be embarrassed. My parents are divorced.
- No big deal. - l'm not embarrassed.
- Why don't you talk about your dad? - He doesn't like me to.
- lt's complicated. - ls he a spy?
He works with toys and these...
little people. Kids.
Can we just do what we came here to do?
Charlie, this is really dangerous.
Someone could catch us at any moment.
Well, you know, Danielle, l may not come out of this alive.
So, in case we don't see each other again...
Are you OK?
[* Danger Danger: Naughty Naughty Christmas]
- Almost done. - OK. l'm not leaving.
* I've been a naughty boy
* I didn't get a toy
* Santa Claus left nothing underneath my tree
* He knows that I've been bad
* But being good just ain't my bag...
Hello, Principal Newman.
[Santa tightens bolt]
OK, try it now.
[engine revs, kids cheer]
OK, all right. Here's what we need.
Get one more bolt on that flange and it's ready for Christmas.
Good work, guys. Whew!
Perfect job on suspension, you guys.
Thinkin' outside the box. l love it.
- Do you want a cookie, Santa? - Do l want a cookie?
Yes! What's fresh?
Sweet, just like you.
Alexander, let's think.
Take the hat off.
Too much counterweight.
Thanks, Santa. You're the man.
That's why they give me the big belly, so l don't fall over!
Hey, Joey! How's that static-free-tinsel coming?
Hey, guys, Santa wants to see the new tinsel.
l could come up there and take care of this the ugly way.
Or... we go outside and play some football.
Curtis, you need to tell him right now!
l don't know. He's so happy right now.
And why do l have to be the one to tell him?!
Because l'm the head elf. l don't give bad news.
lt's one of the perks of my seniority.
Now, tell him!
Come on, pork chop. Bring it on.
Who you callin' pork chop, meatloaf?
You wanna talk some trash? l'll talk trash with ya.
- But first, l'm gonna blitz. - Ready, set!
- l'm comin' after you, buddy. - Seven swans a-swimming!
Six geese a-laying!
Five golden rings!
Hey, who's got the ball? l can see it. Let go of me.
He's too quick! He spins! He moves! He's on the way!
And he might go all the...
Rumblin', stumblin', bumblin'!
Oh, they pile on!
OK, you win!
You guys aren't elves. You're wizards!
No matter how many times you run that play l never see it comin'.
Santa? We need to talk.
- That's weird, isn't it? - [both] Uh-oh!
- These fit yesterday. - Hot cocoa for you.
This is not a good time, Abby.
l sent Dasher down for some Brazilian cocoa beans.
- What's the bad news? - What do you mean?
Whenever you play the designer bean card, you have bad news.
What are you doing with the naughty-and-nice list?
Don't shoot the messenger.
- lt's... Charlie. - Sheen?
- l thought he straightened out. - Not that Charlie.
My Charlie. My son Charlie? He's on the naughty list?
- There's gotta be a mistake. - We don't make mistakes.
l'm sorry, Santa. Please excuse me.
How could this happen? ls this what you were trying to tell me?
Great! You told him! Let's get you dressed for that meeting.
l can't have the meeting here. l'm gonna have to see Charlie.
- Number two, tell him now. - Tell me what, guys? Come clean.
- Santa, there's a clause. - That would be me.
No, l mean there's another Santa clause.
Curtis, in case you haven't noticed - this time of year,
the malls are filled with other ''Santa Clauses''.
Yes, but there's another Santa clause.
There was a first clause, but also a second clause.
Get on with it!
When the last Santa fell off your roof and you put on his coat, you found this.
Right. ''He who wears the coat
takes on the responsibilities of Santa Claus.''
And the rest would be history, right?
But it seems our number two elf, the keeper of the handbook,
overlooked the single most important detail
in the history of Christmas!
Wow! One mistake in 900 years.
- l can't see that. - Better now?
- Or now? - Well...
- Better now? - lt's gettin' there.
- Or now? - l can't see anything.
l see. Good, good, good. l see it. OK.
''The card holder acknowledges a woman of his choosing...''
''True love... Not valid in the state of Utah...''
- l gotta get married! - Yes.
lt's... the Mrs clause.
[they sing ''Here Comes The Bride'']
What if l don't want to get married?
Oh, dear. The de-Santification process has begun!
Are you telling me that clause says if l don't get married...
l don't get to be Santa any more?
Wh-... what about the kids?
What about the elves?
- What about you guys? - lt's not completely hopeless.
You still have time to find a wife.
- How much time do l have? - 28 days.
28 days? So l've gotta... find a wife by Christmas.
Actually, Christmas Eve.
- l guess it's over. - No! You can't think that way!
Please, don't give up hope.
Cos if you do, then we have to.
- [delighted cries] - Whoa!
Christmas is getting very complicated.
- Are you with us? - l'm sorry, yes. Yes, l am.
Well, on behalf of Father Time and the Council of Legendary Figures,
l'd like to thank you for being such a gracious host.
- Hear, hear. - What a lovely place.
Without further ado, let us convene the year-end conference.
- Tooth Fairy. - Thank you, Mother Nature.
Fellow Council members,
l'd like to again propose a new name for myself.
- Oh, please! - Good heavens!
ln the past, you have rejected Tooth Man, Tooth Guy and Tooth.
- Because they stunk. - Today, l'd like to submit...
- Captain Floss. - Nice!
- Plaque Man. - [snorts]
- And Roy. - [laughs] Roy! No.
No kid's gonna put a tooth under a pillow for a man named Roy.
This from someone in a diaper who shoots people's butts!
Wait a minute. l got it. l got it. l got it.
Now, how about this? The Molarnator.
The Molarnator! l like it.
Thank you, Santa. Can we vote now on the Molarnator?
All in favour of a name change for Tooth Fairy?
All right. And all opposed?
- Sandman? - [snores] Wha-...?
What happened? Was l asleep again?
Name change for the Tooth Fairy. Yes or no?
No. l'm sorry.
All right. Next item on the agenda. Santa? Status report.
OK. First, welcome to the North Pole. Great to have you here.
This is our big time of year, so things are busy as usual.
There's a little speed bump in the road this year.
- You all know Charlie. - l love Charlie!
- Great kid. - Good boy.
- Sweet kid. - Good teeth.
Well, Charlie... got himself on the naughty list.
- What?! - Oh, my!
l'm struggling with the timing, cos it's...
l gotta be up here and l've also got to take care of Charlie...
That's every parent's dilemma:
how to balance work and children.
Most people lose sleep over that.
Tell me about it! l have 33,000 offspring. All in private school.
Well, to top it off... l have to get married by Christmas Eve.
- What?! - Otherwise l stop being Santa.
- What?! - No!
The de-Santification process has already begun.
Wait a minute.
You do look thinner, and...
- Your beard is shorter! Right? - [others] You're right!
Apparently, it's called the Mrs clause.
Don't mess with me, Santa. l'm pre-El Nino.
No, l'm not messing with anybody. What l'm saying is...
l have to find a wife in...
27 days, 20 hours and 1 7 minutes.
- Wow! - lt's what l do.
Wait a minute. Cupid! Cupid, come over here.
- What do you need? - Shoot me with a dart.
- Then l'll fall in love. - First of all, they're arrows.
Second of all, no can do.
- Why not? - Arrows have no effect on us.
lf they did, l would have shot myself, met a nice girl,
left the business years ago.
- Enough with the questions. - You can't stop being Santa.
l don't want to.
Kids are 86 per cent happier since you've taken the job.
- He's right. - This is all l want to do.
But what am l gonna do?
You can't be two places at once.
Maybe you can be.
OK, everyone, can l get the room for a minute? Thank you.
Can l just...? One minute. Take a cocoa break.
Have a nice long break. Relax, everyone.
l want to show Santa some improvements on the pantograph. Thanks.
Walk with me. l've tripled the RAM and reconfigured the circuitry.
l see you've externalised the power source
to make better use of the electromagnetic energy.
No, it's just there cos it looks really cool.
Yeah, it does. [chuckles]
Wait a minute. You tripled the RAM.
l see where this is going. l am not getting in that machine.
Besides, creating a copy of Santa won't solve our problems.
- The elves'll know. - But this would be a special toy!
- How's that, Curtis? - l added a fuzzy logic circuit.
The duplicate will look and think just like you.
When you're with your family, dealing with Charlie, looking for a wife...
The toy will be up here melting in front of my fireplace.
No, the toy Santa will be dealing with business up here.
l can deal with business up here.
Santa, if the elves find out we've made a switch... Aaggh!
No! No! This machine is not the answer.
[clattering and squeaking]
Hey! Hey! Hey! You! You! Shoo!
Hold on. Whoa, whoa, whoa!
[engine powers down]
Look, you can't get much better than that.
And l promise - it won't hurt a bit.
- l'm goin' in. - l can't watch this!
[humming and whirring]
That's because it's me, Einstein.
- Santa, are you all right? - Yeah, l got a shock in there.
ls there supposed to be a shock?
[all] lt's naked!
Throw something over it.
- lt's incredible! - Yes, it is.
Can he talk?
Ho, ho, ho!
Ho, ho... ho!
- Not bad. - Not bad yourself.
l can't put my finger on it,
but there's something about you that l like.
There's something about you that l like!
- Watch him. l'll be right back. - He's coming right back.
- Bernard, l need your help. - What do you mean?
What l mean is l gotta go see Charlie
and l want you to convince the elves...
that... toy Santa is me.
- Hm. Have you seen that thing? - l've seen it.
Keep the elves at a distance and say
that l've changed my look, it'll work.
Santa, we're in way over our heads here.
lf anybody can do this, it's you, number one.
l... l'm not gonna lie to all the elves.
l myself think he looks absolutely terrific!
Better and fresher somehow than he has in years.
There's now a more supple veneer to his skin
and an added lustre to the thickness of his hair.
You could almost say there's a...
a toy-like quality to him.
Most importantly, he's very happy with his new look,
and l would caution you all not to point or stare
or use the word ''plastic''.
Thank you. That's all. Back to work, please.
Comet, because l don't want to take Prancer.
l want to take a trip with you. When's the last time we had a cruise?
l love you, buddy.
Besides, Prancer had too many apples. We know what that means.
Before you go, take a look at your watch.
Hey! Can't go anywhere without that.
- l've done some work on it. - lt's beautiful. lt really is.
- You like it? - The workmanship's fabulous.
lt has a power reserve that measures how much magic you have left.
- lt's at ten. - That should be enough.
But if you use up any magic for any reason the level drops.
Santa, if it gets to zero - you won't be able to return to the Pole.
Then let's not let it get to zero!
- Now, look at me. - Mm-hm?
What's the most important thing?
For you not to touch Santa?
For you to come back!
Comet, please just chill out a little bit, OK?
Come on! lt's not like we're pullin' the sleigh. Right?
There's no packages. lt's one stop.
And l think l might have forgot we're gonna go see Charlie.
Scott! Hey! You trimmed your beard.
Come here, big guy.
Whoa! Lost some weight there, huh?
- Slim-Fast? - You don't know how fast.
- We should get going. - Oh, OK.
How do you always know when there's a problem?
l see you when you're sleepin'. l know when you're awake.
Which is a pretty frightening concept when you think about it.
We're really worried about Charlie.
He keeps upping the ante. This time he defaced school property.
- lt's classic acting out. - l'm blaming myself for this.
- We're both his parents. - Where is he?
He's waiting for us in Principal Newman's office.
Something about her makes me want to deface public property.
Hello, Mr Calvin. Laura, Neil.
- Miss Newman. - Principal Newman.
Haven't seen you since the last time Charlie was in trouble.
l've been travelling for work.
lf you spent more time with your son there'd be fewer problems.
Then l wouldn't spend so much time with you,
which is always such a pleasure.
A battle of wits. lt's a shame you come unarmed. Excuse me.
Good morning, Principal Newman.
Mr Picardo, l want you to look into my eyes. What do you see?
lt's dark. And it's cold.
lt's your future, Mr Picardo - keep this up
and you will spend your life stabbing trash.
- Do l make myself clear? - Yes.
- So what are you gonna do? - l'm going to geometry.
Have a nice trip.
lt's an affront to authority and blatant disrespect for property.
lf this continues l'll have no other recourse than to suspend..
Excuse me. ls there a rest stop between here and the end of the lecture?
l'm more interested in why this happened in the first place.
So am l. Charlie, we're all worried about you.
lt feels like you're trying to get someone's attention.
What's bothering you?
- Dr Miller? - Neil.
- Neil, any theories? - Well, frankly l have several.
Here we go. Let's just order a pizza.
Scott, you're not helping.
l was listening to a tape series on child development last night.
You know what the problem is? Excuse me, Neil.
lt's four weeks until Christmas.
- That's a holiday in December. - Oh.
Have you noticed the hallways? Not a decoration, not a twinkle light,
not an expression of the joy kids are supposed to be feeling.
- What kind of school is this? - A public school.
A top-rated public school. That takes effort. And money.
Spending any of that money on holiday decorations
would take away from the things that truly matter.
Forgive me, but l think holiday cheer really matters.
What are we going to do? We are worried...
Let me handle this. You know what you did is wrong. Right?
- l guess so. - There's no guessing.
Guessing is gone. lt was wrong what you did.
And you're not gonna do it again. Promise me.
- OK. - There you go.
He won't do it again. Meeting is adjourned.
lt most certainly is not! Charlie...
You know what else? Here's a little donation.
Why don't you buy yourself a wreath?
l am Santa Claus.
Yeah. No, no, l think that this is gonna work.
Good... Good job, Curtis.
Would it kill you to give a wholehearted compliment?
Ho, ho, ho.
- Ho, ho, ho. - Santa?
- l need you to look at this. - All right!
No. l mean, l need you to read it.
Well, let's try to be specific, shall we?
l'll take a look at it over at my desk.
- How does he know where it is? - l programmed him that way.
He has most of Santa's memories.
OK, we need you to study everything that's in that book
because it is the key to being Santa.
Right! l'll memorise everything in the book.
l'll follow all the rules.
Cos rules are very important!
- l like this guy. - l can barely read this.
- Hi. - Oh. You look...
Like he got a good night's sleep.
Like you got a very good night's sleep.
How about a nice chocolatey cocoa?
- Careful, it's hot. - Of course it is.
That's delicious! l like cocoa!
Cocoa's superior refreshment! [laughs]
Get me some more cocoa!
Right away, Santa.
l think Santa feels a little buzz!
Let me get this straight. You were de-Santified?
And you only have 27 days to find a wife or you're out?
What are you gonna do? We dated for three years
before you got up the courage to propose.
That's a pretty serious commitment issue, isn't it?
Yes, Sigmund. l was afraid l'd mess up the first time.
- l'm more afraid now. - Dad, you can't give up.
There's never been a better Santa.
l appreciate that.
lt's for the best. lf l had spent more time with you,
you'd spend less time in the spray paint industry.
Don't do that to yourself. You have been a great dad.
And being Santa has made you an even better man.
l'm gonna go out on an emotional limb.
Don't try to make me cry.
Believe it or not, you have a great capacity for love.
l know you can find someone wonderful
to spend the rest of your life with.
Don't let the facts that you have no time, no prospects
and a paralysing fear of intimacy get you down.
Have you ever helped anyone? Ever?
You know what l'm gonna do? l am gonna look through my phone book
and see who's still single out there and not too bitter.
There's divorced moms at school who'll go out with anybody.
As promising as this sounds, l don't need help with this area.
Your old man was a high-school legend. A double letterman.
l had a Mustang.
So as far as dating goes,
l think if anybody can stir up the old mojo it would be moi.
Come on! l don't think there's a woman out there
that doesn't want a piece of this.
- Hi, Mom! - Lucy!
- Uncle Scott! - How's my little sweet pea?
Ohh! l haven't seen you in a long time.
- Tell me what's been happenin'. - l learned to swim underwater.
- And l'm not afraid! - That's amazing!
Maybe we'll have to go to the mall and... get some ice cream.
- Plenty of women at the mall. - Charlie...!
Santa, look forward and put on a smiley face.
- Say hello to your elves. - Ho, ho, ho!
You're doing a wonderful job!
Santa, when you said the bigger wheels, is this what you meant?
Ho, ho, ho!
You're doing a wonderful job!
You're doing great. Dial it down on the ho-ho-ho's,
but otherwise you're gold.
Ho, ho ho!
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho!
Why don't you just say it? ''You were right, Curtis. l was wrong.''
OK, OK, l admit it.
They're happy. They're working hard.
Everything's going to be fine.
This book is very interesting reading.
There's a lot of rules they're not following.
That's what l've been saying all along.
Things have gotten a little too sloppy around here.
Yes! Sloppiness means mistakes. Mistakes aren't a good thing!
l might have to make some changes here.
- What do you have in mind? - Let me show you.
There's many things. Look here...
Neil, are you sure you don't have any other clothes l can borrow?
l mean, the idea tonight is to attract a woman.
- What are you talking about? - l look like a limesicle.
l think it makes you look hot.
What do you think, Laura? Honestly, what do you think?
Doesn't he look hot, Laura?
l think it's what's inside that really counts.
- Thought you liked the sweater. - We'll talk later.
l'm off. l may need to borrow a car.
l'm parked behind Neil. The minivan - l just had it washed.
OK, then. Well, wish me luck.
l got a needlepoint sweater, and a minivan...
See ya in about eight minutes.
- Tracy! - Yes!
- lt's nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.
- Here, why don't you sit down? - Oh, thank you.
Thank you very much.
So, l'm so glad we finally got to do this.
- l'm pretty nervous. - Oh, are you?
Laura says we have a lot in common.
l hear that you love this time of year also?
lt's my favourite time of year and my busiest time of year.
- Whoa, look at the sweater! - Yeah!
Some sweater. Like l should talk!
l also have my Christmas charm bracelet.
- That's beautiful. Look at 'em! - Yeah.
l wear it all year long just to keep the spirit alive.
That's gorgeous. A little teddy bear and packages. That's very nice.
- So what work do you do? - l'm in the toy business.
- No way! - Way!
- That sounds so creative. - l love it.
- l love creative people. - Yeah?
So what do you do?
l'm hoping someday to break into the music business.
- As a singer-songwriter. - No way!
- What's your favourite music? - Country-western.
- [enthusiastically] Ohh! - Yeah.
- Do you like Shania Twain? - Yeah!
* The best thing about singing at Christmas
* ls the cocoa, carolling and fun
- You know that one? - l know that song.
* Go totally yuletide
- * Takin' a sleigh ride - You're good.
* Santa shirts, reindeer skirts
* Whoah-oh-oh! - Hey!
* [off-key] Watchin' the windows fog, drinkin' some eggnog
- That's good. - * Whoah-oh-oh!
* Fill up a stocking
* Spray on some flocking
[shouts] Put up a tree! Sports on TV!
[nasally] * Uh, whoah-oh-oh
* l want to be free, yeah to feel the way l feel
* Ah, ah, ah, ah
* l feel like some Christmas
* Oh-oh, wow wow wow! *
You hated it?
lt kind of scared me a little bit.
No, l just. l...
l just... l wasn't prepared for a performance, so if l...
l put myself out and that was not an easy thing to do.
lf you can't support a woman's ambition,
then l don't think there's any reason to continue this date.
[knock on door]
- Dad? - Hey, sport.
How'd it go?
Let's just say l'm not bookin' a church yet.
Boy, l'll tell ya, women are hard to figure out.
- Tell me about it. - You too, huh? Girl trouble?
Well, there's this one girl.
We just used to be friends and hang out at the mall and stuff.
Then one day l looked at her
and l got this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach.
l started worrying about what to wear
and what my hair looked like...
And then l wanted to kiss her.
How did she do that?
l don't know. But they all can do that.
Oh, look at that. The snow globe!
This is so beautiful. l remember when Bernard gave this to you.
He said all l have to do to see you is shake it.
Now, all you have to do is yell down the hall.
And l'm there whenever you need me.
l'm a little tired, Dad. l'll see you in the morning.
- Good night. - Night.
Can you turn the light off, please?
Yeah, cos it's such a big reach for you!
What do you mean it's not straight?
- Sure it's straight. - Uh-uh.
- Maybe your head's crooked. - [gabbles]
- Prancer's not this picky. - [Comet] Yes, he is.
- Hi, Comet. - Hi!
l've got something for you.
Hey, Lucy, what have you got there?
Careful with the sweets. He tends to overeat.
Uncle Scott, are you Santa Claus?
What? Why would you ask me something like that?
Cos you have a reindeer, and only Santa has reindeer.
Nonsense. A lot of people have reindeer.
Well... most of them live in Finland.
l can't pronounce their names.
Besides, reindeer are too stupid to make good pets.
Well, l think you're very smart.
Well, l think he's learning at an excellent rate.
Oh, really? This morning he ate a bowl of waxed fruit.
Wait a minute.
l need the naughty-and-nice list.
lt says l'm supposed to check it twice.
- Santa already checked it. - No, l didn't.
- The real Santa. - l am the real Santa!
- l'm sorry? - l'm in charge here.
- What? - l check the list twice.
That's the rule. l like the rules.
- You know how l feel. - You're misunderstanding.
No, l'm the rule-maker. l like the rules. Santa likes rules.
l've got a good idea. How about we have some fun?
- lt's good to have fun. - Right.
Santa, look over there. See those elves?
Go ahead. Go play some tinsel football.
- What's the object of tinsel football? - Come on down.
lf you don't have the ball, get it.
lf you have the ball, run to the end zone.
OK, l'll go get the football.
l've got the ball. What are you gonna do? Who's gonna stop me?
This is a lot of fun!
Oh, so sorry!
Come here! Stop! Slow down when l'm talking to you!
Come here, you! Come on.
He's headed east toward the main entrance!
Hello, Principal Newman.
Are Laura and Neil on their way?
No, l volunteered to go solo.
Oh. You look...
You've lost weight. Feeling all right?
l was until l got this phone call.
Charlie, you promised you weren't gonna do this again.
What's the matter with you? l'm gonna have to punish ya.
l'll ground him for... two months.
- l thought you were on my side! - l'll go one better.
- You're suspended. - But... Dad!
l'm as upset about this as you, but isn't there
a punishment that doesn't mean takin' him out of school?
- What did you have in mind? - We could...
That's not a bad idea.
OK, Charlie. l want you to start by cleaning up this wall.
l want everything off of there by tonight.
And then clean off every mark off every locker in this hallway.
- Every one?! - Do as she says, Charlie.
But l have homework, tests to study for.
Not my problem. l have a detention group on Saturday.
So we will all get together at the rec centre
and scrape off graffiti at 8am.
- See you both there. - You say both of us?
No, l... l'm very busy. l do a lot of other community service.
That's good. You just got yourself elected parent rep.
And, Charlie... We'll talk about the suspension.
Curtis, what is he doing in the naughty-and-nice centre?
- What's going on? - l'm checking the naughty-nice list.
- l'm checking it twice. - l already told you!
lt's been checked. Don't worry.
l do worry. There's a lot of mistakes.
l'll give you a big fat for instance!
ln Denmark, there's a guy named Sven Halstrom right here.
He's a Dane. He was wiping his nose on his sister's shirt.
Yuk! That's not very nice! And yet he's on the nice list.
We try to cut most children slack this time of year.
l don't understand that! Kids are misbehaving everywhere.
They're running with scissors. They're sticky.
''l'm not gonna stop this car!'' ''No, we're not there yet!''
''Brush your teeth!'' ''Pick up those clothes!''
lt goes on and on.
But they're just kids! Everybody misbehaves some time.
But according to The Santa Handbook,
naughty kids get lumps of coal in their stockings. Right?
We will make stockings.
ln my opinion, they should all get coal in their stockings.
- Don't you? - No! That's not how it works!
Get me the naughty-nice list. Get me every list!
[shouts] Get me [more softly] everything.
[* Unwritten Law: Unwritten Christmas]
Mr O'Reilly, Mr Leary.
You in charge of the gangbangers?
They're students, actually, and yes.
Keep 'em away from the car. lt's new.
l don't need some delinquent kids scratchin' it up.
They're not delinquents. And don't worry about your car.
l'd worry about your legs in those shorts.
l thought only swimmers shaved their legs!
Whoa, good one!
- Good morning. - Good morning.
- Brought you coffee. - Thank you.
- So you have a nice-guy side. - l'm a man of many sides.
l'm a puzzle. l'm a Rubik's Cube with pants.
- [laughs] - A laugh! Actual laugh.
- Dad, it doesn't come off. - lt's not supposed to come off.
Hence you've got to be careful where you put it.
Hence tagging is serious. Hence your presence here.
Don't say ''hence'' any more, Dad. lt's really annoying.
How do you do it? l have trouble with one. You have hundreds.
- Hi. - Hi.
- l was really good this year. - [chuckles]
ls that so? Are you absolutely sure about that, Pamela?
l want a doll house and a swimming pool.
A swimming pool?
l'm sorry. She insisted on talking to you.
- lt's not a problem. - OK.
l'll tell you what. lf you can promise me you'll be good,
l can guarantee you'll have a great Christmas.
- OK! Yeah! - [mother laughs] Come on.
Kids get so nutty this time of year.
- ls she a neighbour? - No.
Oh. How did you know her name?
Oh, the... necklace, it said Pamela on it.
Oh, l guess l missed that. l'm gonna go check on this group.
You cost me, Pamela.
l just couldn't sleep thinking about all those rules.
Am l wrong? Am l right? Does it matter?
Couldn't have been the three gallons of cocoa l had!
But you understand rules, don't you? You're highly decorated.
And look at that face. There you go.
There's a face only a mom would like.
l don't have a mom, so l wouldn't know about that.
Now, it's time for the big event.
Son, it's show time!
You're in the spotlight. Get bigger with it.
lt's your big chance. l need a little help.
l need a little muscle. l need a little nudge.
Let's call yourself the little nudge!
This won't hurt - except for the electric shock through you.
See ya on the other side!
- Oh. Hi. - Hi. Uh...
lt looks like you're going out.
- Sorry. l should have called. - No, it's OK. Come in.
- You sure? - Uh-huh.
- ls there a problem? - No, no. l just...
l wondered if, um...
lf you would... [stammers]
Do you want to go get some noodles?
But l don't want to keep you from your date, so...
Oh, it's not a date. lt's the faculty Christmas party.
ls that your idea of a night on the town?
Noodles and pie? [giggles]
- Yes. What would be your idea? - Pizza and a movie.
- Thick or thin crust? - Thin.
Two For The Road. Audrey Hepburn, Albert Finney.
Movie's OK, but the car was the star. '53 MGTD.
Racing green, wire wheels... Beautiful.
l'm impressed. That is a great car. My favourite car.
Didn't like driving 'em in the rain.
You have to push it to start it. Other than that it's perfect.
lt's perfect, though.
- l could drive you to your party. - That would be great.
Except for, eventually, l'm going to have to get home.
Well, l... l could pick you up.
So you're going to drop me off, then come back and pick me up?
- Yeah. - Why don't you just stay?
- All right, l'll stay. - l'll get my coat.
So, Mr Andretti, what are you driving?
You know... l think you're gonna like it.
[clop of hooves]
Mind if l ask you something personal?
- You look really different. - The weight.
lt's lndian teas and it's a lot of salves and stuff. lt's...
- Do you want some cocoa? - Uh, yes.
Cocoa. You have thought of everything.
Well, this time of year, l... l really shine.
Yeah, l can't wait till it's over, though.
Streets are crowded, the malls are jammed,
people max out their credit cards... lt's noisy.
When did you become such a cynic?
Oh. l don't know.
l used to love Christmas, too.
lt was the only day that my parents didn't fight.
- Oh. - Oh.
They were at each other all the time.
But on Christmas, they tried to make the holiday special.
My dad went through this charade so l'd believe in Santa Claus.
He put a cot by the fireplace so Santa could take a nap...
Like he has time to take a nap!
Consider the amount of gifts he would have to... deliver.
Why would he nap? He would probably need some coffee.
Yeah. And there was cocoa and cookies.
And carrots for the reindeer.
That's a good gesture. The reindeer love carrots.
And the thought is important to them, too.
Yeah. And l'd wake up and the cocoa and cookies would be gone
and the cot would be mussed and the carrots gnawed.
They swallow them. lf they're fresh they'll eat 'em like that.
They love red bell peppers, too.
You know the stories. lf you read...
And there would be incredible presents under the tree.
One year was a rocking horse, and l named it Harvey.
And the next year was a little red wagon,
which l made a lemonade stand, which was great.
And the last year was...
lt was just... a Baby Doll. She was pink and soft and beautiful.
- Beautiful? - Yes.
l believed in Santa so much l'd get in fights at school
with kids who tried to tell me that he didn't exist.
And one day l came home with a bloody nose.
That's when my parents decided to tell me to...
l was devastated, and...
Good, Carol! This is great sleigh-riding conversation!
- l'm a terrible sleigh con-.. - lt's fine conversation.
A person just wants something to believe in, you know?
Yes, l know. Yes, l know.
OK, we have cocoa.
We have a blanket. We have a horse-drawn sleigh.
The only thing that's...
- What? - [laughs]
- lt's snowing. - Oh.
As if by magic?
That's what l was gonna say, that it should be snowing!
[* The Shirelles: Blue Holiday]
* It's been a blue
* Since you've been gone
* Oh, my darling
* Won't you
* Hurry, hurry home
* It's been a blue
l owe you one.
lt's a great party.
Look. That guy moved.
- Would you excuse me? - Mm-hm.
Could l have your attention? Your attention, please!
There we go. Hi. l'm Scott Calvin and l just thought l'd step up here and...
and say the word that we've all been longing to hear.
OK. What l think, folks, is that a lot of you have forgotten
what the true spirit of Christmas is all about.
lf you're not willing to dance or laugh or flirt
or risk the buffet, l don't think we have much choice.
So before the choir gets out here l say we rock this house
with a secret Santa! Huh?
Carol - happy, happy Christmas!
l think they're just decorations for the carollers.
She's afraid these are decorations for the carolling.
l think Carol is right about the carolling!
l'm talking about the packages that [whispers] are backstage.
There aren't any packages backstage.
Ohh! There's none back there.
[sighs] So l was mistaken when l saw this bag of gifts.
Maybe l'm wrong, but it sure looks like a bag of gifts.
Ohh! lt's heavy like a bag of gifts.
Look at this! What's in here?
lt's very heavy, very heavy.
Doesn't your mom call you JJ?
Merry Christmas, JJ.
This is Toss Across!
l used to love this when l was a kid!
But l never told anybody.
Where did...? Who did this?
Yes, there you are! Merry Christmas.
- Thank you. - Tom Astle.
- Me! Sorry, Gordon. - Hey!
- Haven't changed a bit! - Gee, thanks.
- Lizzy Garcia. - Here.
- There. Merry Christmas. - Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots!
Mint condition! This is incredible!
The Holly Hobbie Oven!
Come on up and get the rest of your presents.
- Marie? - Here!
There she is. Katie. Jerry.
- Here! - Cory. Cory?
[* Chuck Berry: Run Rudolph Run]
- Carl, you need a net. - Not me!
This is great.
Hey, party animal, you want to play?
- l can't figure it out. - lt's beanbag tic-tac-toe.
No, l mean the secret Santa thing.
Someone tracked down all those wonderful antique toys.
Probably someone who knows his way around eBay.
- Yeah. - Yep.
lt was you. l know it was you.
l just can't figure out... How did you do it?
Sometimes you don't need to know all the answers.
Speaking of which...
Even the principal needs a Christmas gift.
Come on, open it. Rip it open.
Come on. We're not gonna save the paper.
lt's Baby Doll.
[voice breaks] Come here.
- Did you call the office? - No.
- Did they call you? - lt's not like that.
- Did you investigate us? - No, l wouldn't do that.
Did you...? l told you about Baby Doll an hour ago, and...
Did you send someone to...?
- No. - No.
Well... l don't know how you did it.
lt's like some kind of magic.
Yeah, sort of like some kind of magic.
And... and pretty much the last that l have.
What? Well, what...? You know what?
l don't want to know.
What you did in there tonight for everyone was wonderful.
l shouldn't have done that.
- ls that OK? - Yeah.
Got this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach.
l'm not... real good at this.
Where did that come from?
l don't know.
Hi! Merry Christmas!
Ho, ho, ho!
Can l have your attention?
Stop the work, please. Everybody stop the work.
- Merry Christmas! - [quacks]
That's nice. l have a little announcement to make.
From this moment forward, we're not gonna make any more toys.
The children of the world don't deserve presents.
They're running rampant with naughtiness.
This Christmas we're gonna give those greedy kids
exactly what they deserve.
A beautiful, high-quality yet low-sulphur variety of coal!
We have to focus, all of us, on the goals ahead.
And just to make sure that that happens...
Thank you, sweetie.
l... l hate to blow my own horn.
Stay where you are! Don't be afraid!
l was up late, couldn't sleep.
Milk wouldn't do it, cocoa is a little sweet,
so l decided to make an army of toy soldiers.
They don't have a good sense of humour like me.
l would do what they ask you. Which is what l'm going to tell you!
Don't listen to him! This guy's not Santa!
- He's not Santa? - He's a toy!
He has a rubber face and a plastic tushy!
Trust me! Don't let him ruin Christmas!
Thank you for those kind words, Bernard!
Well, now that we all have an understanding,
have a joyous and merry Christmas!
OK, ready? Go!
This is what l call community service!
Here she comes. Duck down!
Attention you hooligans behind that snow bank!
You have snowballed the wrong house.
Drop the snowballs, kick them away from the snow suits
and keep the mittens where l can see them.
Your dad is hanging with Principal Newman?
- ls he dating her? - No.
Go to your homes. Uh... pelt the ones you love.
- And a merry Christmas! - [Carol laughs]
- That is really gross, man. - Shut up.
There are things about me you should know. Personal things.
We don't need to rush things, Scott.
l think you need to know these things.
Remember the mistletoe, how it just showed up?
- Yes. - And the sleigh.
- How magical that was? - Yes.
Secret Santa Claus?
- That was me. - Yeah?
l'm not this size much. l'm usually much bigger than this.
So am l sometimes.
l have a big white beard that's beautiful.
- l don't. - l work a long way from home.
When l get back home, l sleep for a long time.
See? OK. lt's not so bad so far.
You work far away from home and you sleep a lot.
You've never been to prison and you don't wear socks with sandals.
l'm Santa Claus.
The suit, the red suit's real. The North Pole is a place.
There are elves. They make toys. They're beautiful and it's real.
- l exist. - That's not funny.
- lt's magical. - Cut it out.
l'm telling the truth.
l told you something personal from my childhood
and now you're making a joke out of it and it's not funny. lt hurts.
l know how hard this is to believe, but connect the dots.
- Think what's happened. - l know what's going on.
- Think about the little girl. - You felt something for me.
Now you're acting like a mental patient because you're scared.
- l deliver gifts in a sleigh. - lncredible.
l go down chimneys with burning logs and l still deliver gifts.
l'm not scared. That's not what this is.
lf you're trying to push me away, it's working.
Carol, don't make me leave.
- How could you pick her? - l didn't.
You don't care any more.
l care more about you than anybody.
But it's a two-way street.
- You won't confide in me. - You want it? Here it is.
- What? Talk to me. - l don't live a normal life.
- You live a great life here. - Just listen to me!
My friends get to go around saying, ''My dad's a plumber.''
''My dad's a pilot.'' ''My dad's a dentist.'' You know what?
My dad is the best thing of all and l can't tell anyone.
You have no idea how hard it is, walking around with that secret.
And now you're going out with Principal Newman!
And you don't even tell me about it.
My whole life has become about secrets, and l hate it!
Forget about Principal Newman, all right?
And forget about Santa. l'm done.
My time's up.
Who cares any more?
- Hi, Charlie. - Hi, Lucy.
- What are you doing? - Just shovelling.
Charlie, is Uncle Scott Santa Claus?
No. Why would you think that?
l don't know.
- How come Uncle Scott was sad? - What makes you think that?
l asked him to stick a straw in his nose
and blow bubbles in his milk.
- And he said no. - Whatever.
- Can you talk to him? - l don't think so, Lucy.
- Did you have a fight? - Sort of.
- Are you gonna make up? - l don't know!
- Are you gonna be mad forever? - Lucy!
- What? - These are hard questions.
No, they're not. They're easy.
And you can't be mad at him forever, Charlie.
He's your daddy and you love him.
* ln a strip-mining machine
* Flatten the hills we go
Put a smile on that face, little troll!
Wait a minute. l got a joke. This'll cheer you up.
- Knock, knock! - Who's there?
- Aren't you? - Aren't you who?
Aren't you supposed to get back to work?!
All of ya! You little idiots! Back to work!
Got any twos?
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
- What was that? - l don't know.
- Want some more hot chocolate? - Mm-hm.
- Would you get that, honey? - Yeah, sure.
ls S... Scott here?
- Who are you? - Uh...
Curtis, a friend from... Buffalo.
- Are you an elf? - Of course not!
Why would you ask such a silly question?
How come you have pointy ears?
lt's... because l never ate my green vegetables.
Do you eat your green vegetables?
Yeah, l'm right here. What's wrong?
Oh... Curtis! What are you doin' here?
There's a little trouble at the...
lt's OK. Curtis is a very old friend.
We have a large, uh... firm. We work together in...
- [whispers] Buffalo. - Buffalo?
We work together in Buffalo. So... we're gonna talk business.
- What business? - lt's none of your business.
Soon l'm gonna be seven. And then l can know things.
- Good night, Curtis. - Good night, Lucy.
Good night, Lucy.
- What's up? - Toy Santa's out of control.
He's locked up the elves, shut down the workshop,
he thinks everybody's naughty and he's gonna give everyone coal!
- Why didn't Bernard tell me? - He's under house arrest.
Fly back with me to the North Pole to save Christmas!
l can't. l have no magic left. l'm out of magic. Look.
- l thought you had Comet. - Yeah, we...
Yes! Come on!
Hey, Comet. We just...
Look at me.
- Comet...! - [groans]
What are ya doin'?
- Eating sugar is bad for you. - [gabbles]
What do you mean, you didn't eat this?
Get this. You gotta fly both of us back to the North Pole.
- Yeah, tonight. - [groans]
OK. l'll help you up.
All right? Ready? You've got to help me a little here.
Good. OK, we almost got it.
OK, now, help me. Can ya move anything?
Fire in the hole! Get away!
Eat some roughage, will you?
- Oh, what about the jet pack? - lt burned up on reentry.
What am l supposed to do? Grow wings?
l hope he doesn't have too many stops to make tonight.
You and me both, pal. OK. Let's just get it over with.
- What's going on down there? - Are you sure about this?
What? The old toaster trick?
When we were kids we used to do this to get a little extra cash.
- Works every time! - l can't watch this.
- You ready, buddy? - All right. Let her rip.
- Scott, are you all right? - Mom!
- Yes? - l lost another tooth.
Should l put it under my pillow?
This way. Come on.
Curtis, get the door. lt's a Tooth Fairy ambush.
What do you people want? l only carry $20 in change.
Tooth Fairy, it's me, Santa.
l've lost the weight and the beard, but it's me.
l know Santa. Santa is a friend. And you, sir, are no Santa.
l am too.
How did l know l could capture you by holdin' on to a wing?
You wanted to change your name to Captain Floss or Plaque Man.
Or, as l recall, Roy.
And it was Santa's idea to call you the Molarnator.
- Who's the kid? - One of my elves. He's an elf.
The Molarnator at your service!
- A little altitude, please! - What?
Could you possibly fly a little higher?
- What? - Never mind!
What is it, Charlie?
You keep asking me if there's something bothering me.
Well, there is. l...
l couldn't talk about it before, but...
l want to talk about it now.
OK. Go ahead.
- My dad is Santa. - Oh, please. Not you too.
lf you have no feelings for my dad, then fine.
But if the only reason for not being with him is
that you don't believe in him, you're making a big mistake.
l want you to take this. Look into this and...
try to remember what it was like when you were little
and you still believed in Christmas.
Seeing isn't believing. Believing is seeing.
You haven't seen anything yet!
- Curtis? - What? [thump] Ow!
- What do l do? - Slow down.
Piece of cake. Attaboy. There you go.
Why can't you fly higher?
Tooth Fairy, l want to thank you. l'll never forget this.
l wish l could do more, but l gotta go.
Denver just started a new pee-wee hockey league.
Before you go, l want you to know that nobody,
nobody was braver than you were today.
You should be proud of your wings.
- They're not too girly? - Not on you.
Wouldn't it be easier to go through the workshop?
No. That way Santa and his soldiers would be expecting us.
Sound military strategy involves taking your enemy by surprise.
lt's good strategy.
Sometimes being a despot is a tough business.
lt's Scott, isn't it?
Yeah. What are you supposed to be?
A better, stronger version of what you used to be -
with a flawless complexion, l might add.
- Look, it just glistens. - Listen to me. l'm back now.
So untie us. Let the elves go and give me back the coat.
No can do! lt's Christmas Eve! l have coal to deliver!
And l don't want those naughty kids to suffer! [laughs]
Boys! One, two, three!
And... one, two!
Try to keep up! Let's go. Move it on!
Try to... This is just too tight.
This is all my fault.
l thought l could create another Santa.
My elfin pride blinded me to all reason.
There's only one Santa.
Well, l've done a pretty rotten job.
l didn't check the list twice.
My kid thinks l betrayed him.
l hurt the woman l love.
l ruined Christmas.
How'd you get up here?
l got to fly in with the Tooth Fairy.
- Are you OK? - Yeah.
Brush between meals and don't forget the floss.
And if anybody cares, l'm exhausted.
And she... has a beautiful smile.
- Thank you for everything. - No. Thank you.
l am... [laughs] the Molarnator!
Get out of the way!
What are you doing?
- You gotta save Christmas. - How am supposed to save...?
- No, no, no. - Please. Don't worry.
[Chet] Oh, Chet...
Ouch! Ow! Oh, oh, oh!
Thanks. Excuse me, pork chop.
OK. Chet, this is it. You ready to rock and roll?
- Chet? - Yeah. He's still in training.
- Has he had much flight time? - About a minute and a half.
- He's had a lot of crash time! - Curtis...!
- He's just a baby. - All right.
Let's see what this baby can do.
- [Chet hums] - Oh, boy.
Ready to go, buddy? You know what we gotta do.
Chet! Whoa, whoa, whoa. Chet, Chet.
[Chet cackles wildly]
You gotta focus, Chet.
OK, everybody! Outside, now!
Almost there, boys. Let's go!
- Chet, whoa! - [mad cackle]
Snowballs, on three!
Let's get 'em!
Whoa, whoa! Not so far!
- Whoa, Chet! - Whooh!
Back for more action, eh, scooter?
- Chet, Chet! - [laughs]
Cut the chitchat, Chet!
Why is this such a problem? Come on!
Where do you think you're going?
- Go, go! - Hyah, boy! Come on!
The lead. The one in the front, Chet!
Leave my reindeer alone!
- Go! Go! Go! - [Chet blows raspberry]
Come on! We got to get them before they get out the hole.
Stay away from my lead reindeer!
- [Chet makes bugle sound] - Whoo!
Holy Hannah, he's an action hero!
What are you doin' up there? l can't see where l'm driving.
You are a sad, strange little man.
You're gonna fall... l hope!
That's a good way to lose an eye!
Look out! You're scaring me!
Can l help you?
Honey, l'm home!
Hey, l'm supposed to wear this coat! How about a little elbow?
There you are. That's gotta feel good.
You want the shoe? Take it off. Go ahead. Go on!
What are we gonna do now, smartypants?
Watch out! The building! Left, left!
Oh, well. The town'll break the fall.
Yo, Tony! Hey, Brian, stop me!
Get off of me! Now remember, rules are very, very important!
l want hot chocolate.
[Scott] Hey, guys, back up. l've got a special place for him.
You idiot! Wait a minute, something's shocking me.
- You were great. - Sounds like you were too.
- We've got ten minutes. - Where is Carol?
- Carol! Are you all right? - Yes!
- Where are you going? - l gotta deliver gifts.
Aren't you forgetting something?
- No. - You gotta get married.
l cannot continue being Santa... unless l find a Mrs Claus.
Oh. So that's what the whole noodles and pie thing...
- You just needed a wife. - No.
- Yes. - Yes?
Yes, l was looking for a wife.
No, l didn't figure on falling... in love.
You love me?
- This is all happening so fast. - Well, there's no pressure.
l mean, if l don't get married l just won't deliver the gifts
and children everywhere will stop believing,
the elves will lose their jobs, the North Pole will disappear
and Christmas will be gone.
- Get down on one knee. - Hm?
Do it. Now.
- Carol. - Uh-huh?
You say this is happening all so fast.
You say this is happening all so fast.
But you've known me your whole life.
But you've known me your whole life.
When you were little and alone...
- [both] Santa... - l can take it from here.
..Santa was always there for you.
And l will be, as long as you continue to believe in me.
l know l'm asking you to leave everything at home,
but l can guarantee you that this is worth it.
This place is all about magic
and love... and wonder.
And occasionally a thin-crust pizza
and a movie and a long winter night.
ls there a school here?
Yeah, we have one, a school, but the elves need a new principal.
Cos as of late some of the elves have been acting a bit impish.
- l love you. - You do?
Would you be my wife?
[whispers] l will.
[whispers] Thank you. l've got it from here.
By the powers vested in me by me,
l now pronounce you Santa
and Mrs Claus.
Well, go on now. Kiss her!
- Dad, we gotta go. - Walk me to my sleigh.
We gotta go! When we get back, we start making some more toys.
All right. Well, Mrs Claus, you might want to get some rest.
You see, tomorrow begins vacation season for me,
which means a three-month honeymoon for us.
Nothing tropical. You do not want to see this in a Speedo.
Don't be home too late.
And so it begins.
Boys, we've got some toys to deliver!
Come downstairs. l want you to see something.
- Do you have any twos? - Go fish!
You are Santa! l knew it was you all along.
- And you were right. - Uncle Scott...
You look all rosy. Are you feeling better?
l'm feeling much, much better.
ls there anything else l should know about?
l don't know. But Charlie has something he wants to tell you.
You know, l was exactly your age when l found out my dad was Santa.
- But l couldn't tell anybody. - l can't tell anybody either?
No. But knowing it isn't a burden.
lt's a gift.
Most kids stop believing in Santa when they grow up.
But l get to believe in him forever.
l love you, Charlie. Thank you.
But do we still get toys?
lf you ever get to bed and go to sleep like the other kids.
- Merry Christmas, Lucy. - Merry Christmas, Santa.
Sport, l gotta fly.
[reindeer hooves thunder]
- Easy, boys, easy. - [Chet groans]
You're gettin' it, Chet.
[reindeer sighs happily]
Merry Christmas, Comet!
All right, boys! Hyah! Ho, ho, ho!
- Hyah! - [Chet makes bugle sound]
Merry Christmas to all! And to all a good night!
Nothin' wrong with a straight line, Chet.
[Chet cackles wildly]
[*Eddie Money & Ronnie Spector: Everybody Loves Christmas]
* Everybody loves Christmas
* Everybody has fun
* That time of the year, that holiday cheer
* A good time for everyone
* Everybody loves Christmas
* Oh, count the ways
* You know it's almost here
* Oh, Christmas Day
* Christmas Day *
[* Hilary Duff: Santa Claus Lane]
What the heck are we doin' out here?
Look, if we're gonna dance...
dance like this. All of us!
Everybody, you idiots!
Ever seen a toy do this?
Where you going?
[* Shedaisy: Santa's Got A Brand New Bag]
[* Steve Tyrell: Santa Claus Is Coming To Town]
SNL Best Of Eddie Murphy 1998
S Diary 2004
Sahara (with Michael Palin) ep1
Sahara (with Michael Palin) ep2
Sahara (with Michael Palin) ep3
Sahara (with Michael Palin) ep4
Sahara (with Michael Palin) video diary bonus
Sahara interview with Michael Palin
Salaam Bombay CD1
Salaam Bombay CD2
Salaam Cinema 1995
Salems Lot 2004 CD1
Salems Lot 2004 CD2
Salesman - Albert and David Maysles (1969)
Salo Or The 120 Days Of Sodom
Salton Sea The
Salvatore Giuliano (Francesco Rosi 1961) CD1
Salvatore Giuliano (Francesco Rosi 1961) CD2
Samsara 1991 CD1
Samsara 1991 CD2
Samurai - Miyamoto Musashi - 03 - Duel at Ganryu Island
Samurai 2 (1955)
Samurai 3 - Duel At Ganryu Island 1956
Samurai Assassin 1965
Sanbiki No Samurai 1964
Sand Pebbles The CD1
Sand Pebbles The CD2
Sands of Iwo Jima
Santa Claus 2
Sante Trap The
Saragossa Manuscript The (1965) CD1
Saragossa Manuscript The (1965) CD2
Satans Brew 1976
Saturday Night Fever CD1
Saturday Night Fever CD2
Satyajit Ray - Apu Trilogy 2 Aparajito (1957)
Sauvage Innocence 2001 CD1
Sauvage Innocence 2001 CD2
Savage Innocents The 1959
Savage The (2003)
Save The Green Planet (2003) CD1
Save The Green Planet (2003) CD2
Saving Private Ryan CD1
Saving Private Ryan CD2
Saving Private Ryan CD3
Saving Silverman (R Rated Version)
Say It Isnt So 2001
Scalphunters The (1968)
Scanners 1981 CD1
Scanners 1981 CD2
Scar The (1976) CD1
Scar The (1976) CD2
Scarecrow - (Kakashi) 25fps 2001
Scarlet Empress The (1934)
Scarlet Empress The - Criterion Collection
Scary Movie 2
Scene At The Sea A (Japanese)
Scenes From A Marriage (1973) CD1
Scenes From A Marriage (1973) CD2
Scenes from a Marriage CD1
Scenes from a Marriage CD2
Scenes from a Marriage CD3
Scenes from a Marriage CD4
Scenes from a Marriage CD5
Scenes from a Marriage CD6
Schippers van de Kameleon CD1
Schippers van de Kameleon CD2
School Of Flesh The
School of Rock
Scooby-Doo - A Gaggle of Galloping Ghosts
Scooby-Doo - Thats Snow Ghost
Scooby-Doo - The Headless Horseman of Halloween
Scooby-Doo - Vampires Cats and Scaredy Cats
Scooby-Doo - Which Witch is Which
Scooby-Doo 2 Monsters Unleashed
Scooby-Doo and the Legend of the Vampire
Scooby Doo Project The
Scorpion King The
Scream 3 CD1
Scream 3 CD2
Secret Agents 2004
Secret Agents Into the Heart of the CIA
Secret Ballot 2001
Secret Lives of Dentist The
Secret Window 2004
Secret life of Walter Mitty The (1947)
Secret of My Success 1987 CD1
Secret of My Success 1987 CD2
Secret of the Ooze The
Secret of the Sword
Secrets of Women
Seducing doctor Lewis
See Spot Run
See no Evil Hear no Evil
Seinfeld Chronicles The
Sense and Sensibility (1995)
Seppuku (aka Harakiri) CD1
Seppuku (aka Harakiri) CD2
Serpents Egg The
Setup The (Robert Wise 1949)
Seven (1995) CD1
Seven (1995) CD2
Seven Brides for Seven Brothers
Seven Days in May (1963)
Seven Samurai (1956)
Seven Year Itch The
Seven Years in Tibet CD1
Seven Years in Tibet CD2
Seventh Seal The - Criterion Collection
Seventh Sign The
Sex Is Comedy
Sex Lies And Videotape CD1
Sex Lies And Videotape CD2
Sex and Lucia (Unrated Spanish Edition)
Sex and Zen
Sex and the City 3x13 - Escape From New York
Sex and the City 3x14 - Sex And Another City
Sex and the City 3x15 - Hot Child in the City
Sex and the City 3x16 - Frenemies
Sex and the City 3x17 - What Goes Around Comes Around
Sex and the City 3x18 - Cock A Doodle Do
Sex is zero
Sex lives of the potato men
Sexo Con Amor 2003
Sexy Beast 2000
Shadow The Universal
Shadow of a Doubt
Shadow of the Vampire
Shadows In Paradise
Shadows and Fog
Shakespeare In Love
Shall We Dance
Shanghai Knights CD1
Shanghai Knights CD2
Shaolin Soccer UnCut (2001) CD1
Shaolin Soccer UnCut (2001) CD2
Shaolin Temple CD1
Shaolin Temple CD2
Shaolin Temple The 1979
Shape Of Things The
Shark Tale CD1
Shark Tale CD2
Sharp Guns (2001)
Shaun of the Dead (2004)
Shelter Island 2003
Sherlock Holmes - Hound of the Baskervilles
Sherlock Holmes - The Eligible Bachelor
Sherlock Holmes - The Last Vampyre
Sherlock Holmes - The Master Blackmailer
Sherlock Holmes - The Pearl Of Death 1944
Sherlock Holmes - The Sign of Four
Sherlock Holmes 1x01 - A Scandal In Bohemia
Sherlock Holmes 1x02 - The Dancing Men
Sherlock Holmes 1x03 - The Naval Treaty
Sherlock Holmes 1x04 - The Solitary Cyclist
Sherlock Holmes 1x05 - The Crooked Man
Sherlock Holmes 1x06 - The Speckled Band
Sherlock Holmes 1x07 - The Blue Carbuncle
Sherlock Holmes 1x08 - The Copper Beeches
Sherlock Holmes 1x09 - The Greek Interpreter
Sherlock Holmes 1x10 - The Norwood Builder
Sherlock Holmes 1x11 - The Resident Patient
Sherlock Holmes 1x12 - The Red Headed League
Sherlock Holmes 1x13 - The Final Problem
Sherlock Holmes And The House Of Fear 1945
Sherlock Holmes And The Spider Woman 1944
Sherlock Holmes And The Voice Of Terror 1942
Sherlock Holmes Faces Death 1943
Sherlock Holmes Returns
Sherlock Holmes The Eligible Bachelor
Sherlock Holmes The Scarlet Claw 1944
Sherlock Holmes in Washington 1943
Shes All That
Shes So Lovely
Shes out of control
Shes the One
Shield The 2x01 - The Quick Fix
Shield The 2x02 - Dead Soldiers
Shield The 2x03 - Partners
Shield The 2x04 - Carte Blanche
Shijushichinin No Shikaku (1994 aka 47 Ronin)
Shiki-Jitsu (Hideaki Anno 2000)
Shin Zatoichi monogatari (1963)
Shinjuku - Triad Society (Takashi Miike 1995) CD1
Shinjuku - Triad Society (Takashi Miike 1995) CD2
Ship of Fools CD1 (Stanley Kramer 1965)
Ship of Fools CD2 (Stanley Kramer 1965)
Shiver Of The Vampires The
Shocking Asia CD1
Shocking Asia CD2
Shogun 1980 Part 1
Shogun 1980 Part 2
Shogun 1980 Part 3
Shogun 1980 Part 4
Shogun 1980 Part 5 and 6
Shogun 1980 Part 7 and 8
Shogun 1980 Part 9 and 10
Shop Around The Corner The 1940
Short Circuit 2
Short Cuts CD1
Short Cuts CD2
Short Film About Killing A (1988)
Short Film About Love A (1988)
Short Film About Love A 1988
Shot In The Dark A
Show Me Love
Shredder (Greg Huson 2003)
Shriek if You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th
Shuang tong (2002)
Sib - The Apple
Siburay Bate Cafe
Sicilian The 1987 CD1
Sicilian The 1987 CD2
Siege The (1998)
Silence of the Lambs The
Silencers The (Phil Karlson 1966)
Silent Trigger 1996
Silver Streak 1976
Simon and Garfunkel - The Concert in Central Park
Simon of the Desert
Simpsons 01x01 - Simpsons Roasting Over An Open Fire
Simpsons 01x02 - Bart The Genius
Simpsons 01x03 - Homers Odyssey
Simpsons 01x04 - Theres No Disgrace Like Home
Simpsons 01x05 - Bart the General
Simpsons 01x06 - Moaning Lisa
Simpsons 01x07 - The Call of the Simpsons
Simpsons 01x08 - The Telltale Head
Simpsons 01x09 - Life on the Fast Lane
Simpsons 01x10 - Homers Night Out
Simpsons 01x11 - The Crepes Of Wrath
Simpsons 01x12 - Krusty Gets Busted
Simpsons 01x13 - Some Enchanted Evening
Simpsons The 05x01 - Homers Barbershop Quartet
Simpsons The 05x02 - Cape Feare
Simpsons The 05x03 - Homer Goes To College
Simpsons The 05x04 - Rosebud
Simpsons The 05x05 - Tree House Of Horror
Simpsons The 05x06 - Marge On The Lam
Simpsons The 05x07 - Barts Inner Child
Simpsons The 05x08 - Boy Scoutz N The Hood
Simpsons The 05x09 - The Last-Temptation Of Homer
Simpsons The 05x10 - $pringfield
Simpsons The 05x11 - Homer The Vigilante
Simpsons The 05x12 - Bart Gets Famous
Simpsons The 05x13 - Homer And Apu
Simpsons The 05x14 - Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy
Simpsons The 05x15 - Deep Space Homer
Simpsons The 05x16 - Homer Loves Flanders
Simpsons The 05x17 - Bart Gets An Elephant
Simpsons The 05x18 - Burns Heir
Simpsons The 05x19 - Sweet Seymour Skinners Baadasssss Song
Simpsons The 05x20 - The Boy Who Knew Too Much
Simpsons The 05x21 - Lady Bouviers Lover
Simpsons The 05x22 - Secrets Of A Successful Marriage
Sin noticias de Dios
Sinbad - Legend Of The Seven Seas
Since Otar Left 2003
Since You Went Away CD1
Since You Went Away CD2
Sinful Nuns of Saint Valentine
Singin in the Rain
Singing Detective The
Singles (2003) CD1
Singles (2003) CD2
Sink The Bismarck
Sinnui yauman II
Sister Act 2 - Back in the Habit CD1
Sister Act 2 - Back in the Habit CD2
Six Days Seven Nights
Six Degrees of Separation (1993)
Six Feet Under
Six String Samurai
Six Strong Guys (2004)
Sixteen Candles CD1
Sixteen Candles CD2
Sixth Sense The
Skammen (Shame Bergman 1968)
Skazka o tsare Saltane
Skulls The (Collectors Edition)
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow
Slap Shot 2
Sleepers (1996) CD1
Sleepers (1996) CD2
Sleepless in Seattle
Sleepy Hollow 1999
Sleuth (Mankiewicz 1972) CD1
Sleuth (Mankiewicz 1972) CD2
Sliding Doors 1992
Sling Blade CD1
Sling Blade CD2
Small Change (FranÇois Truffaut 1976)
Small Time Crooks 2000
Smell of Fear The
Smokey and the Bandit
Snake Of June A (2002)
Snake Pit The
Snatch - Special Edition
Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs 1937
So Close 2002
Sobibor 14 Octobre 1943
Solaris (Tarkovsky) CD1
Solaris (Tarkovsky) CD2
Solaris - Criterion Collection
Solaris 2002 - Behind the Planet
Solaris 2002 Inside
Soldaat Van Oranje 1977 CD1
Soldaat Van Oranje 1977 CD2
Soldiers Story A (Norman Jewison 1984)
Solomon and Sheba CD1
Solomon and Sheba CD2
Sombre 25fps 1998
Some Kind of Monster CD1
Some Kind of Monster CD2
Something The Lord Made CD1
Something The Lord Made CD2
Somethings Gotta Give CD1
Somethings Gotta Give CD2
Son In Law
Song of the South
Soul Guardians The (1998) CD1
Soul Guardians The (1998) CD2
Soul Keeper The (2003)
Sound of Music The
South Park - Bigger Longer and Uncut
South Park 01x01 - Cartman Gets An Anal Probe
South Park 01x02 - Weight Gain 4000
South Park 01x03 - Volcano
South Park 01x04 - Big Gay Als Big Gay Boatride
South Park 01x05 - An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig
South Park 01x06 - Death
South Park 01x07 - Pinkeye
South Park 01x08 - Jesus VS Satan
South Park 01x09 - Starvin Marvin
South Park 01x10 - Mr Hankey the Christmas Poo
South Park 01x11 - Toms Rhinoplasty
South Park 01x12 - Mecha Striesand
South Park 01x13 - Cartmans Mom is a Dirty Slut
Soylent Green 1973
Spanish Prisoner The CD1
Spanish Prisoner The CD2
Spark the Lighter
Spartacus 2004 CD1
Spartacus 2004 CD2
Spartacus Fixed 1960
Spartan 2004 CD1
Spartan 2004 CD2
Spawn (Directors Cut)
Species 3 CD1
Species 3 CD2
Speed 2 - Cruise Control
Spellbound (Hitchcock 1945)
Spider Man 2 CD1
Spider Man 2 CD2
Spies Like Us 1985
Spirit of the Beehive
Spirited Away CD1
Spirited Away CD2
Spirits of the Dead 1968 CD1
Spirits of the Dead 1968 CD2
Spongebob Squarepants The Movie
Springtime In A Small Town
Spun (Unrated Version)
Spy Who Came In from the Cold The
Spy Who Loved Me The
Spy Who Shagged Me The - New Line Platinum Series
St Johns Wort - (Otogiriso) 25fps 2001
Stage Beauty 2004
Stage Fright 1950
Stalker 1979 CD1
Stalker 1979 CD2
Star Trek Generations CD1
Star Trek Generations CD2
Star Wars - Episode II Attack of the Clones
Star Wars - Episode IV A New Hope
Star Wars - Episode I The Phantom Menace
Star Wars Episode 4 (A New Hope) CD1
Star Wars Episode 4 (A New Hope) CD2
Star Wars Episode 5 (Empire Strikes Back) CD1
Star Wars Episode 5 (Empire Strikes Back) CD2
Star Wars Episode 6 (Return of the Jedi) CD1
Star Wars Episode 6 (Return of the Jedi) CD2
Stargate SG1 1x01 Children of the Gods
Stargate SG1 1x02 The enemy Within
Stargate SG1 1x03 Emancipation
Stargate SG1 1x04 The Broca Divide
Stargate SG1 1x05 The First Commandment
Stargate SG1 1x06 Cold Lazarus
Stargate SG1 1x07 The Nox
Stargate SG1 1x08 Brief Candle
Stargate SG1 1x09 Thors Hammer
Stargate SG1 1x10 The Torment of Tantalus
Stargate SG1 1x11 Bloodlines
Stargate SG1 1x12 Fire and Water
Stargate SG1 1x13 Hathor
Stargate SG1 1x14 Singularity
Stargate SG1 1x15 The Cor AI
Stargate SG1 1x16 Enigma
Stargate SG1 1x17 Solitudes
Stargate SG1 1x18 Tin Man
Stargate SG1 1x19 There but for the Grace of God
Stargate SG1 1x20 Politics
Stargate SG1 1x21 Within the Serpents Grasp
Stargate SG1 2x01 The serpents lair
Stargate SG1 2x02 In the line of duty
Stargate SG1 2x03 Prisoners
Stargate SG1 2x04 The gamekeeper
Stargate SG1 2x05 Need
Stargate SG1 2x06 Thors chariot
Stargate SG1 2x07 Message in a bottle
Stargate SG1 2x08 Family
Stargate SG1 2x09 Secrets
Stargate SG1 2x10 Bane
Stargate SG1 2x11 The tokra part 1
Stargate SG1 2x12 The tokra part 2
Stargate SG1 2x13 Spirits
Stargate SG1 2x14 Touchstone
Stargate SG1 2x15 The fifth race
Stargate SG1 2x16 A matter of time
Stargate SG1 2x17 Holiday
Stargate SG1 2x18 Serpents song
Stargate SG1 2x19 One false step
Stargate SG1 2x20 Show and tell
Stargate SG1 2x21 1969
Stargate SG1 3x01 Into The Fire II
Stargate SG1 3x02 Seth
Stargate SG1 3x03 Fair Game
Stargate SG1 3x04 Legacy
Stargate SG1 3x05 Learning Curve
Stargate SG1 3x06 Point Of View
Stargate SG1 3x07 Deadman Switch
Stargate SG1 3x08 Demons
Stargate SG1 3x09 Rules Of Engagement
Stargate SG1 3x10 Forever In A Day
Stargate SG1 3x11 Past And Present
Stargate SG1 3x12 Jolinars Memories
Stargate SG1 3x13 The Devil You Know
Stargate SG1 3x14 Foothold
Stargate SG1 3x15 Pretense
Stargate SG1 3x16 Urgo
Stargate SG1 3x17 A Hundred Days
Stargate SG1 3x18 Shades Of Grey
Stargate SG1 3x19 New Ground
Stargate SG1 3x20 Maternal Instinct
Stargate SG1 3x21 Crystal Skull
Stargate SG1 3x22 Nemesis
Stargate SG1 4x01 Small Victories
Stargate SG1 4x02 The Other Side
Stargate SG1 4x03 Upgrades
Stargate SG1 4x04 Crossroads
Stargate SG1 4x05 Divide And Conquer
Stargate SG1 4x06 Window Of Opportunity
Stargate SG1 4x07 Watergate
Stargate SG1 4x08 The First Ones
Stargate SG1 4x09 Scorched Earth
Stargate SG1 4x10 Beneath The Surface
Stargate SG1 4x11 Point Of No Return
Stargate SG1 4x12 Tangent
Stargate SG1 4x13 The Curse
Stargate SG1 4x14 The Serpents Venom
Stargate SG1 4x15 Chain Reaction
Stargate SG1 4x16 2010
Stargate SG1 4x17 Absolute Power
Stargate SG1 4x18 The Light
Stargate SG1 4x19 Prodigy
Stargate SG1 4x20 Entity
Stargate SG1 4x21 Double Jeopardy
Stargate SG1 4x22 Exodus
Stargate SG1 5x01 Enemies
Stargate SG1 5x02 Threshold
Stargate SG1 5x03 Ascension
Stargate SG1 5x04 Fifth Man
Stargate SG1 5x05 Red Sky
Stargate SG1 5x06 Rite Of Passage
Stargate SG1 5x07 Beast Of Burden
Stargate SG1 5x08 The Tomb
Stargate SG1 5x09 Between Two Fires
Stargate SG1 5x10 2001
Stargate SG1 5x11 Desperate Measures
Stargate SG1 5x12 Wormhole X-Treme
Stargate SG1 5x13 Proving Ground
Stargate SG1 5x14 48 Hours
Stargate SG1 5x15 Summit
Stargate SG1 5x16 Last Stand
Stargate SG1 5x17 Failsafe
Stargate SG1 5x18 The Warrior
Stargate SG1 5x19 Menace
Stargate SG1 5x20 The Sentinel
Stargate SG1 5x21 Meridian
Stargate SG1 5x22 Revelations
Stargate SG1 6x01 Redemption Part 1
Stargate SG1 6x02 Redemption Part 2
Stargate SG1 6x03 Descent
Stargate SG1 6x04 Frozen
Stargate SG1 6x05 Nightwalkers
Stargate SG1 6x06 Abyss
Stargate SG1 6x07 Shadow Play
Stargate SG1 6x08 The Other Guys
Stargate SG1 6x09 Allegiance
Stargate SG1 6x10 Cure
Stargate SG1 6x11 Prometheus
Stargate SG1 6x12 Unnatural Selection
Stargate SG1 6x13 Sight Unseen
Stargate SG1 6x14 Smoke n Mirrors
Stargate SG1 6x15 Paradise Lost
Stargate SG1 6x16 Metamorphosis
Stargate SG1 6x17 Disclosure
Stargate SG1 6x18 Forsaken
Stargate SG1 6x19 The Changeling
Stargate SG1 6x20 Memento
Stargate SG1 6x21 Prophecy
Stargate SG1 6x22 Full Circle
Stargate SG1 7x01 Fallen
Stargate SG1 7x02 Homecoming
Stargate SG1 7x03 Fragile Balance
Stargate SG1 7x04 Orpheus
Stargate SG1 7x05 Revisions
Stargate SG1 7x06 Lifeboat
Stargate SG1 7x07 Enemy Mine
Stargate SG1 7x08 Space Race
Stargate SG1 7x09 Avenger 2 0
Stargate SG1 7x10 Birthright
Stargate SG1 7x10 Heroes II
Stargate SG1 7x11 Evolution I
Stargate SG1 7x12 Evolution II
Stargate SG1 7x13 Grace
Stargate SG1 7x14 Fallout
Stargate SG1 7x15 Chimera
Stargate SG1 7x16 Death Knell
Stargate SG1 7x17 Heroes I
Stargate SG1 7x19 Resurrection
Stargate SG1 7x20 Inauguration
Stargate SG1 7x21-22 The Lost City I n II
Starship Troopers (Special Edition)
Starship Troopers 2
Story Of A Kiss
Strange aventure de Docteur Molyneux
Street Of Love And Hope (Nagisa Oshima 1959)
Street of shame (Akasen chitai)
Streetcar Named Desire A
Summer Tale A 2000
Sunday Lunch (2003)
Super 8 Stories
Superman IV - The Quest for Peace
Surviving the Game
Swedish Love Story A (1970) CD1
Swedish Love Story A (1970) CD2
Sweetest Thing The (Unrated Version)
Swordsman III - The East is Red
Sylvester - Canned Feud (1951)
Sylvester - Speedy Gonzales (1955)
Sylvester and Elmer - Kit for Cat (1948)
Sylvester and Porky - Scaredy Cat (1948)
Sylvester and Tweety - Canary Row (1950)
Sylvester and Tweety - Putty Tat Trouble (1951)
Sylvester and Tweety - Tweetys SOS (1951)