"Keeping Up Appearances 17 - Very Merry Hyacinth" Subtitles

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Keeping Up Appearances 17 - Very Merry Hyacinth

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( theme music playing )
OH, MORE CHRISTMAS CARDS.
GOOD HEAVENS, SO MANY FRIENDS!
JUST A MINUTE!
THAT MAKES 112.
THAT MUST BE A RECORD.
IF ANYONE ELSE DOWN THE AVENUE
STARTS BOASTING ABOUT HOW MANY CHRISTMAS CARDS THEY'VE HAD,
I TRUST YOU'LL REMEMBER MY RECORD.
YES, MADAM.
OF COURSE YOU'RE ONLY TEMPORARY.
MY REGULAR POSTMAN, HE WOULD KNOW BEST
WHERE TO MENTION MY RECORD OF 112.
GOOD.
- I'LL TELL EVERYBODY! - DON'T OVERDO IT.
I WAS NEVER ONE TO BOAST.
AND A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
( Hyacinth humming )
OHHHH.
MORE CHRISTMAS CARDS, HUH?
ARE THEY GENUINE, OR ARE THEY MORE OF THOSE
YOU'VE WRITTEN TO YOURSELF?
I REGARD IT AS A SERVICE
TO THOSE PEOPLE WHO MAY HAVE MISPLACED MY ADDRESS.
I'M SURE THEY'D LIKE TO THINK THEY'D SENT ME A CARD.
( phone ringing )
PUT THOSE UP, WILL YOU, DEAR?
WHERE?
( singing )
THE "BOUQUET" RESIDENCE, THE LADY OF THE HOUSE SPEAKING.
SHERIDAN, HOW LOVELY TO HEAR FROM YOU, DEAR!
HE'S HAD ALL THE CHRISTMAS MONEY HE'S GETTING!
NO ONE'S MENTIONED MONEY.
HE'S JUST RINGING HIS MOMMY.
YES, DEAR, IT'S GOING TO BE THE USUAL HECTIC CHRISTMAS,
POPULARITY HAS ITS PENALTIES.
I'VE ALREADY HAD TO FIND ROOM
FOR 112 CARDS.
AND THIS WILL BE THE FIRST CHRISTMAS WITHOUT YOU, DEAR.
I DON'T KNOW HOW MOMMY WILL COPE.
IF HE ASKS FOR MORE MONEY, I DON'T KNOW HOW DADDY WILL COPE.
I KNEW THAT ONE DAY YOU'D GROW UP AND LEAVE US.
YOU CALL THIS LEAVING US?
ONLY I DIDN'T REALIZE YOU'D BE GOING
QUITE SO FAR AWAY.
OH, YES,
I THINK IT'S SPLENDID OF YOU AND TARQUIN
TO GO AND HELP REBUILD ROMANIA,
BUT DO WEAR SOMETHING WARM, DEAR.
YOU NEED HOW MUCH?
THEN RING ME FROM ROMANIA,
REVERSE THE CHARGES.
( chuckles )
RICHARD IS WALKING ABOUT THE GARDEN,
BEATING HIMSELF ON THE HEAD.
OH, HE OFTEN DOES THAT.
I'M NOT SURPRISED. IF I HAD TO LIVE WITH HYACINTH
I THINK I'D OFTEN DO THAT.
SOMETIMES AFTER I'VE BEEN THERE,
I FIND MYSELF DOING THAT.
POOR RICHARD, THE MAN NEEDS A BREAK.
AFTER ALL, IT IS CHRISTMAS.
ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THIS?
THE OLD FOLKS WILL BE,
WHEN YOU'RE DISTRIBUTING THEIR GIFTS.
NOW, DO TRY AND SHOW
A LITTLE CHRISTMAS ENTHUSIASM, RICHARD.
I FEEL SUCH A FOOL.
AND NOT ONLY THE OLD FOLK, DEAR,
I WANT YOU TO BE THE STAR TURN
AT MY BOXING DAY CANDLELIGHT SUPPER
FOR OUR SPECIAL FRIENDS.
I WANT YOU TO BE THE SURPRISE.
OH, I WILL BE, I CAN SEE IT NOW.
DURING THE PROCEEDINGS
I WANT YOU TO SLIP AWAY QUIETLY--
I SOMETIMES THINK ABOUT SLIPPING AWAY QUIETLY.
--AND RETURN AS FATHER CHRISTMAS.
I CAN SEE ONSLOW'S FACE WHEN HE SEES ME IN THIS.
I'M NOT GOING TO ALL THIS TROUBLE FOR ONSLOW.
- ( giggles ) - DON'T BE SILLY.
ONSLOW AND MY FAMILY WILL COME AS USUAL ON CHRISTMAS EVE.
YOU'VE DECIDED THEN?
THEY ARE MY FAMILY
AND I LOVE THEM DEARLY,
ESPECIALLY AT THIS TIME OF YEAR WHEN IT GETS DARK EARLY.
I CAN COPE WHEN THEY'RE IN THE HOUSE.
IT'S WHEN THEY'RE ARRIVING AND ESPECIALLY LEAVING--
ONSLOW'S RARELY IN A CONDITION--
THAT I'D WANT THE NEIGHBORS TO SEE.
- ( crunches ) - ( screams )
HAVE YOU SEEN FATHER'S WHISTLE?
HE'S LOOKING FOR HIS WHISTLE AND THE REST OF HIS UNIFORM.
- WHAT UNIFORM? - HIS CUB SCOUT UNIFORM.
THAT'S GOING BACK A BIT.
I WISH YOU WOULD BOTH GET UP
AND MAKE YOURSELVES PRESENTABLE.
I'M EXPECTING A VISIT FROM A MR. SUDBURY.
OH, SO THAT'S WHO COMES AT CHRISTMAS--
A MR. SUDBURY.
AND ALL THESE YEARS, PEOPLE HAVE BEEN CALLING HIM FATHER CHRISTMAS.
WILL YOU GET UP, ONSLOW?
THE SMART MOVE WOULD BE TO STAY HERE TILL AFTER BOXING DAY,
OTHERWISE WE'LL ONLY HAVE TO GET DRESSED UP
AND GO TO YOUR HYACINTH'S FAMILY DINNER.
OH LORD!
HYACINTH'S FAMILY DINNER. ( whimpering )
YOU KNOW HOW THEY ALL LOOK FORWARD
TO MY FAMILY CHRISTMAS DINNER.
I CAN'T DISAPPOINT THEM.
GIVES THEM SOMETHING TO REMEMBER DURING THE LONG WINTER MONTHS.
HOW DOES THAT FEEL?
( muffled ) I CAN'T BREATHE!
OF COURSE YOU CAN BREATHE.
( blowing )
NO, RICHARD!
PLEASE DON'T MAKE THOSE VULGAR NOISES.
IF THERE'S ONE THING THAT DISTINGUISHES US FROM OTHER PEOPLE
IT'S THE ABSENCE OF VULGAR NOISES, DEAR.
- I FEEL RIDICULOUS! - NO, IT SUITS YOU.
IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME,
- WE'LL GET AN INDEPENDENT OPINION. - NO!
- I DON'T WANT ANYBODY TO SEE ME! - DON'T BE SO MODEST!
- HYACINTH! - NOW OFF YOU GO, DEAR.
TRY THE EFFECT ON EMMET AND ELIZABETH.
OW!
ALL RIGHT, BROTHER, SHAN'T BE LONG.
JUST GET BACK QUICKLY, LIZ.
I HATE BEING ALONE IN CASE HYACINTH CALLS.
I NEVER KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO HER.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY ANYTHING.
LET YOUR MIND WANDER.
I THINK ABOUT KNITTING PATTERNS.
I THINK ABOUT STRANGLING HER.
LOCK THE DOOR BEHIND ME, AND PRETEND YOU'RE OUT.
THERE'S NO NEED TO BE SO ALARMED.
( screams )
IT'S ONLY ME. CAN I COME IN?
I FEEL SUCH A FOOL.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO USE THE CHIMNEY.
Rose: CAN'T WE DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS OLD JUNK HEAP?
I'VE DONE SOMETHING ABOUT THIS OLD JUNK HEAP.
LOOK INSIDE.
- ( switch clicks ) - AH-HH.
DAISE, LOOK AT THIS.
I THINK THAT'S LOVELY.
NOT BAD, IS IT?
AND PEOPLE SAY HE'S JUST A BUM.
I CAN SEE WHY.
I THINK HE'S VERY TALENTED--
WHAT HE'S DONE WITH A HEAP OF OLD JUNK.
I WAS THINKING MORE ALONG THE LINES OF MOVING IT.
THAT THERE IS A PIECE OF ABSTRACT ART.
IF YOU LOOK AT IT THAT WAY YOU CAN SEE I'M ACTUALLY MAKING A STATEMENT.
I HOPE MR. SUDBURY SEES IT LIKE THAT.
WHO IS THIS MR. SUDBURY?
WHY ARE YOU MAKING SUCH A FUSS ABOUT HIM?
OH, DAISE, MR. SUDBURY IS DIFFERENT.
SO WAS THE LAST ONE. TALK ABOUT BOW-LEGGED.
THE FIRST TIME I'VE SEEN ANYBODY
TRY AND CROSS THEIR LEGS AND MISS.
OH, DAISE, MR. SUDBURY IS REALLY DIFFERENT.
HE'S TALL. HE'S ELEGANT.
AND HE'S A WONDERFUL DANCER.
- ROSE! - ( gasps )
MR. SUDBURY.
I WISH YOU HAD MORE ROMANCE IN YOU.
DO THAT WITH ME TONIGHT.
* LITTLE DONKEY *
* LITTLE DONK-- * OH!
AM I THROUGH TO THE THORGUNBY RESIDENCE?
WELL, WHAT A TIMID LITTLE VOICE.
NOW RUN ALONG, POPPET,
AND TELL YOUR MOMMY MRS. THORGUNBY,
THAT THERE'S A NICE LADY WANTING TO SPEAK WITH HER.
MRS. THORGUNBY.
IT'S EASILY DONE.
THIS IS HYACINTH.
"BOUQUET," DEAR.
RICHARD'S WIFE.
RICHARD.
YOUR HUSBAND'S DEPUTY
IN THE DEPARTMENT OF FINANCE AND GENERAL PURPOSES.
YES, THAT HYACINTH.
THERE'S A FUNNY NOISE ON THE LINE,
SOUNDS LIKE SOMEONE IN PAIN.
THAT'S BETTER. I'M JUST RINGING
TO REMIND YOU THAT YOU PROMISED TO CALL IN
WITH YOUR HUSBAND OVER THE CHRISTMAS PERIOD
TO PARTAKE OF MULLED WINE AND A HOT MINCE PIE.
COME AT ANY TIME THAT SUITS YOU, MRS. THORGUNBY,
GOODBYE.
WHAT A SILLY LITTLE VOICE.
HAVE ANOTHER ONE, RICHARD.
JUST A VERY, VERY SMALL ONE.
WHAT ABOUT A VERY, VERY LARGE ONE?
NO! OH, EMMET!
CHEERS!
- CHEERS. - WHY ARE YOU WEARING THAT OUTFIT?
- IT'S FATE. - I THOUGHT IT MIGHT BE HYACINTH.
- TO ME, THEY'RE ONE AND THE SAME. - WELL...
MERRY CHRISTMAS, ANYWAY.
COME ON.
ONSLOW,
WILL YOU TELL FRED AND GINGER
TO GO AND TWINKLE-TOES DOWN THE STREET
AND FIND FATHER? HE'S OFF AGAIN.
HE'S NOT PASSED THIS WAY. WHERE'S HE GONE?
"GONE SCOUTING. NEED NEW WHISTLE."
THAT'S OFTEN THE FIRST THING TO GO.
I'VE NOTICED THAT.
( bell rings )
* JINGLE BELLS *
* JINGLE BELLS JINGLE ALL THE DAY. *
AH, DO COME IN, ELIZABETH.
MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME.
JUST TAKE YOUR SHOES OFF.
I WON'T KEEP YOU, HYACINTH,
I'VE BEEN ASKED TO COLLECT ON BEHALF--
HOW VERY COMMENDABLE, DEAR.
OF COURSE WE'LL CONTRIBUTE.
NOT THAT WE DON'T ALREADY, IN OUR OWN WAY.
RICHARD WILL SOON BE DISTRIBUTING GIFTS TO THE OLD FOLK,
AND MY SHERIDAN'S REBUILDING ROMANIA.
WHERE ARE YOU?
- THERE YOU ARE. - THANK YOU, HYACINTH.
( telephone ringing )
I WONDER WHO THAT WILL BE.
PROBABLY REGGIE THORGUNBY,
RICHARD'S HEAD OF DEPARTMENT.
REGGIE AND FIONA ARE POPPING IN FOR MULLED WINE AND HOT MINCE PIES.
THEY WERE SO INSISTENT.
THE "BOUQUET" RESIDENCE, THE LADY OF THE HOUSE SPEAKING.
- OH!
SO SORRY, HYACINTH.
AND JUST AS I HAVE GIVEN MY LACQUERED WOODBLOCK ITS CHRISTMAS POLISH.
VIOLET, I THOUGHT YOU WERE IN IBIZA FOR CHRISTMAS?
OH, I SEE!
BRUCE IS ACTING IN THE THEATER,
ONLY AMATEUR OF COURSE, BUT STILL.
A PRINCIPAL ROLE? YOU MUST BE VERY PROUD, VIOLET.
WHY AREN'T YOU PROUD?
HE LOVES DRESSING UP, IT'S BETTER THAT HE DOES IT IN THE THEATER.
WHY SHOULDN'T HE WEAR HIS COSTUME ALL DAY?
- OOH! - SORRY, HYACINTH.
YOU AND I HAVE NO SECRETS, ELIZABETH.
WHAT ROLE IS BRUCE PLAYING?
CINDERELLA?
SORRY, ELIZABETH, YOU KNOW HOW BUSY I AM.
OH-- BUT-- WAIT. HYACINTH--
- LATER. - BUT, HYACINTH!
OOH!
OH.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, BRUCE IS GOING AROUND EVERYWHERE
IN HIS CINDERELLA OUTFIT?
HE'S GONE INTO TOWN?!
WELL, TELL PEOPLE HE'S REHEARSING.
SPREAD THE WORD FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE!
LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, VIOLET.
AT LEAST CINDERELLA MARRIED WELL.
I MUST GO AND FIND RICHARD.
( muttering )
ELIZABETH, WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING, DEAR?
TERRIBLY SORRY, HYACINTH. YOUR WREATH FELL OFF.
WELL, PUT IT BACK AGAIN, I MUST FIND RICHARD.
NO, I'LL FIND RICHARD. YOU PUT THE WREATH BACK ON.
Both: * ...AND IF YOU EVER SAW HIM *
- * YOU WOULD EVEN SAY IT GLOWS * - * IT GLOWS *
* ALL OF THE OTHER REINDEER *
AND CALL HIM NAMES *
* THEY NEVER LET POOR RUDOLPH *
* JOIN IN ANY REINDEER GAMES... *
POOR RUDOLPH!
RICHARD! HYACINTH WILL KILL YOU.
HYACINTH WHO?
WAS YOUR FATHER EVER IN THE SCOUTS?
OF COURSE HE WAS IN THE SCOUTS.
YOU DON'T THINK HE'D WEAR A UNIFORM UNDER FALSE PRETENSES?
IF HE'S ONLY WEARING THEM LITTLE SHORTS,
THEY CAN HARDLY CALL IT FALSE PRETENSES.
SPEAKING OF FALSE PRETENSES,
I SUPPOSE WE BETTER WARN OUR HYACINTH.
OH, NICE.
AN EXTRA TRIP TO YOUR HYACINTH'S,
YOU REALLY KNOW HOW TO MAKE A BLOKE'S CHRISTMAS.
- THAT WAS HYACINTH.
SHE IS READY FOR RICHARD TO DRIVE HER.
- RIGHT. - RIGHT.
- RIGHT. - YOU CAN'T DRIVE HER.
AND NEITHER CAN YOU!
ACTUALLY, SHE DOES MOST OF THE DRIVING
BY WORD OF MOUTH.
ALL RIGHT THEN, YOU TWO,
COME ON, GIVE ME THAT FATHER CHRISTMAS OUTFIT!
- HEY-- WHAT? - NOW, RICHARD,
- YOU WILL HAVE TO GET THE BUS. - WHAT BUS?
YOU'VE GOT TO DISTRIBUTE THE GIFTS.
"TURN RIGHT, RICHARD. TURN LEFT, RICHARD."
AND YOU CAN SOBER UP, TOO.
ALL RIGHT, I'LL BE WITH THE OLD FOLK, WAITING FOR YOU.
WE'LL NEVER GET AWAY WITH IT, YOU DON'T EVEN SOUND LIKE ME.
ALL SHE HAS TO DO IS LISTEN LIKE YOU.
- THAT'S TRUE... - ( laughing )
( blows )
THE DOOR, RICHARD.
WE MUSTN'T FORGET OUR MANNERS
JUST BECAUSE WE'RE DRESSED AS FATHER CHRISTMAS.
THANK YOU, DEAR.
I HOPE YOU'VE THOUGHT OF SUITABLE THINGS TO SAY
TO EACH ONE OF THE OLD FOLK.
AND PLEASE REMEMBER
NOT TO SAY "MERRY X-MAS."
YOU KNOW I CAN'T ABIDE PEOPLE
WHO PUT "MERRY X-MAS" ON THEIR GREETINGS CARDS--
ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY SPELL MERRY
WITH AN "I" AND AN "E."
NOT SO FAST, RICHARD.
WATCH THE CAR ON THE LEFT.
WARN THIS PEDESTRIAN
IN CASE HE SUDDENLY DECIDES TO STEP INTO THE ROAD.
( horn toots )
( horn blares )
YOU SEE, HE HEARD THAT.
OH, NO, IT'S ONSLOW AND DAISY.
THEY MUSTN'T SEE US. QUICK!
TURN INTO THIS PETROL STATION AND PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN.
THEY MUST BE GOING TO THE HOUSE.
THANK GOODNESS WE'RE OUT.
TURN RIGHT, DEAR.
Hyacinth: MIND THE CURB.
ISN'T THAT THE THORGUNBY'S CAR?
GOODNESS, YES IT IS. THEY MUST BE HEADING FOR OUR HOUSE.
( gasps ) THEY'LL MEET ONSLOW AND DAISY.
( horn honks )
MR. AND MRS. THORGUNBY,
HOW LUCKY WE RAN INTO YOU.
HEH, DAMN NEARLY, ANYWAY.
SLIGHT CHANGE OF PLAN.
WE THOUGHT WE'D TAKE YOU FIRST TO THE CHURCH HALL,
TO SEE RICHARD DISPENSING GIFTS TO THE POOR.
MY HUSBAND'S HIGHLY THOUGHT OF
IN CHARITABLE CIRCLES.
REALLY?
DRAMATIC THAT, RICHARD,
YOU SCARED THE DAYLIGHTS OUT OF ME.
OH REALLY, RICHARD.
...AND THEN BACK TO OUR HOUSE
FOR SOME MORE CHRISTMAS SURPRISES.
- SURPRISES, I'M NOT SURE I CAN STAND ANY MORE. - HMMM.
JUST MULLED WINE AND A HOT MINCE PIE.
RICHARD'S SO LOOKING FORWARD
TO THE TWO OF YOU IN A QUIET CORNER.
I BEG YOUR PARDON!
TO DISCUSS THE SUBJECT OF HIS EARLY RETIREMENT.
OH, THAT.
YES.
RICHARD WILL LEAD, YOU FOLLOW CLOSE BEHIND.
MORNING, NOW, GO STRAIGHT THROUGH.
- AH. - GOOD DAY, VICAR, I WON'T BE A MOMENT.
MRS. BUCKET-- "BOUQUET,"
I'M SORRY. YOUR FATHER'S HERE.
- DADDY, HERE? - YES.
HOW KIND OF YOU, VICAR,
TO INVITE DADDY TO RECEIVE A GIFT.
HE WASN'T ACTUALLY INVITED, MRS. BUCKET--
"BOUQUET."
HE JUST ARRIVED-- AND RATHER UNEXPECTEDLY.
IN WHAT WAY "UNEXPECTEDLY"?
I WASN'T ACTUALLY IN THE HALL AT THE TIME, I JUST HEARD THE SCREAM.
WON'T BE A MOMENT.
- WHAT SCREAM? - MS. WINTHORP'S.
- WHO? - SHE'S SECRETARY OF THE OVER-70s CLUB.
OH, I SEE.
I EXPECT DADDY WAS-- CARRIED AWAY BY THE FESTIVE SEASON.
WELL, HE MUST HAVE STARTED CELEBRATING
- LONG BEFORE HE ARRIVED HERE. - HMM?
HE ALSO SEEMS TO BE WEARING VERY LITTLE.
JUST LIKE DADDY. I EXPECT HE'S GIVEN EVERYTHING TO THE POOR.
WELL, NEARLY EVERYTHING. AND HE'S GOING AROUND
KISSING EVERYONE UNDER THE MISTLETOE.
YES, DADDY DOES SO LOVE
THE OLD CUSTOMS.
HE CERTAINLY LOVES THAT ONE.
( bangs )
WHY DON'T WE POP INSIDE
AND I'LL SLIP DADDY INTO SOMETHING WARMER?
HE LOOKED WARM ENOUGH WHEN I LEFT HIM.
-BE WITH YOU IN A MOMENT.
WANT TO BE KISSED!
DON'T DO THAT,
NASTY LITTLE MAN!
I MUST ASK YOU TO TAKE HIM AWAY FROM HERE, MRS. "BOUQUET."
- AND AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!
COME ALONG, DADDY.
AND DON'T DO THAT, IT'S NOT VERY NICE.
- ( singing ) - YOU'LL SOON FEEL BETTER
NOW YOU'VE HAD ONE OF YOUR PILLS.
NOW WEAR THIS FOR HYACINTH, DEAR.
WE'RE LEAVING.
I'VE PROMISED THE VICAR THAT I'LL SEE YOU SAFELY HOME.
OH, AND TO THINK HE WAS ONCE SUCH A POWER
IN PAINTING-BY-NUMBERS CIRCLES.
I SUPPOSE WE'RE VERY LUCKY. THIS YEAR'S PANTOMIME
HAPPENS TO BE "DICK WHITTINGTON."
I JUST WISH YOU COULD REMEMBER
WHERE YOU'VE LEFT YOUR OWN CLOTHES, DEAR.
WAIT HERE FOR A MOMENT,
WHILE IS SEE THAT THE COAST IS CLEAR.
I DON'T WANT ANY MORE SURPRISES TODAY.
- RICHARD? - DID SOMEONE CALL?
RICHARD, WHICH RICH-- ( sputtering )
- ELIZABETH? - YES!
I'M TERRIBLY SORRY, HYACINTH.
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? WHAT'S GOING ON? - ( everyone talking )
RICHARD DIDN'T DRIVE YOU, I DROVE YOU.
SHHH. THERE IS NO TIME FOR APOLOGIES.
YOU CAN HAVE YOUR CHRISTMAS KISS LATER, RICHARD.
( laughing )
BEFORE FATHER CHRISTMAS ARRIVES...
WE'VE ALL GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE.
WITH SOME CHRISTMAS MUSIC
( applause )
- WHAT'S HYACINTH DOING WITH A CAT?
I MUST HAVE DRANK MORE THAN I THOUGHT.
- IT'S DADDY! - OH, IT'S A TOMCAT.
( both laugh )
NOW, DON'T JUST STAND THERE.
TRY AND FIND DADDY'S CLOTHES, THEY MUST BE HIDDEN SOMEWHERE.
THAT INCLUDES YOU, EMMET.
DO STOP PLAYING WITH YOUR WHISKERS, DADDY.
ELIZABETH, I NEED YOUR HELP, DEAR.
NOW LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE, YOU'VE BROKEN IT.
I HAVE TO GET DADDY
OUT OF HERE, INTO ONSLOW'S CAR,
WITHOUT THE THORGUNBYS SEEING ME.
IT'S ONLY ME.
OH, SUITS YOU.
WHO'S THAT?
- IT'S DADDY, OF COURSE. - OH.
HELP ME GET HIM INTO THE CAR.
I DON'T WANT THE THORGUNBYS TO SEE TOO MUCH.
- WHO? - THE THORGUNBYS.
RICHARD'S HEAD OF DEPARTMENT!
THEY'RE COMING BACK TO OUR HOUSE
FOR A GLASS OF MULLED WINE AND A HOT MINCED PIE.
THEY FOLLOWED US HERE IN THEIR CAR.
OH, THEY'VE GONE.
GONE?!
OH NO.
AFTER I'VE BEEN TO ALL THIS TROUBLE.
HOW THOUGHTLESS.
PUT DADDY IN.
OH!
CONTROL YOURSELF, DADDY!
I'VE GIVEN YOU ONE OF YOUR PILLS!
WE'VE LOOKED LOW AND HIGH, DIDN'T WE?
OH, THERE'S LIZ.
EXCUSE ME, DICKY,
I'VE GOT A LITTLE BIT OF UNFINISHED BUSINESS.
- WHAT'S ONSLOW UP TO? - THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION.
( screams )
- ONSLOW! - HYACINTH!
I SUPPOSE THAT'S WHAT CHRISTMAS IS ALL ABOUT.
ONSLOW'S RIGHT, YOU KNOW.
COME ALONG, RICHARD,
THERE'S NO TIME FOR THAT SORT OF THING.
- I KNOW IT'S THE SEASON OF GOODWILL-- - WHAT BETTER TIME, THEN?
ROSE, PUT MR. HAWKSWORTH DOWN AT ONCE!
WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON OUT HERE?
ROSE, THERE'S THE VICAR!
THANK YOU, HYACINTH.
HAPPY CHRISTMAS, VICAR.
ROSE!
THIS IS THE SEASON OF GOODWILL, VICAR,
AND MY SISTER TAKES GOODWILL VERY SERIOUSLY.
ANYWAY, WE'RE ALL GOING NOW.
GOODBYE, VICAR, VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR.
SINCE WE ALL SEEM TO BE CELEBRATING CHRISTMAS ALREADY,
- WE MAY AS WELL CARRY ON. - GOOD IDEA.
OOOH, ONSLOW.
All: AWWW.
WHY DON'T WE ALL GO OVER TO OUR HOUSE
AND HAVE MULLED WINE AND HOT MINCED PIES?
All: WHOOO!
AND, ONSLOW, WHEN WE GET THERE,
WOULD YOU PARK YOUR CAR SOMEWHERE DISCREET?
HOW ABOUT THE NEXT STREET?
OH, I LOVE IT!
CHRISTMAS SUITS YOU, ONSLOW.
BEEP.
COME ALONG, ELIZABETH, EMMET,
RICHARD!
SEE YOU LATER, ROSE!
I'M TOO SHOOK UP.
- YOU DRIVE, ELIZABETH. - ALL RIGHT.
- Richard: NOW YOU BE VERY CAREFUL WITH MY CAR. - Hyacinth: ISN'T CHRISTMAS FUN?
WHAT A PITY IT'S ONLY ONCE A YEAR.
ONSLOW!
PLEASE DON'T TRAP DADDY'S TAIL IN THE DOOR!
( theme music playing )