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Conan the Destroyer

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[ Wind Howling ]
[ Narrator ] Between the years when the oceans drank Atlantis...
and the rise of the sons of Arius,
there was an age undreamed of,
when shining kingdoms lay spread across the world.
Hither came Conan, the Cimmerian, sword in hand.
It is l, his chronicler, who knows well his saga.
Now let me tell you of the days of high adventure.
[ Horse Whinnies ]
[ Horse Whinnies ]
[ Horse Whinnies ]
- I think we made the merchant angry! - Are you surprised?
But we didn't steal everything he had.
We didn't have time.
[ Horse Whinnies ]
[ Screaming ]
Hyah! Hyah!
[ Groaning ]
- Hyah! - Hyah!
[ Riders Groaning, Horses Whinnying ]
Why aren't they trying to kill us?
Maybe they want to capture us, then torture us to death.
Oh.
[ Groaning ]
Hyah! Hyah!
Hyah! Hyah!
[ Muffled Shouts ] Conan! Conan, help!
Help!
Help! [ Coughing ]
[ Screaming ]
[ Grunting, Groaning ]
[ Groans ]
[ Man Groans ]
[ Whirring ]
[ Whirring Continues ]
[ Groaning ]
[ Whirring Stops ]
[ Panting ]
- [ Woman ] Do you know who I am? - Taramis!
- Queen Taramis. - Not my queen.
You have a queen? But you are a Cimmerian.
The Cimmerian's have no rulers.
You're a barbarian. You live free in the world.
You owe allegiance to no one. Is that not so?
It is, and it always will be.
- What do you want? - I need your help.
- No! - No?
- You don't know what I'd be willing to give if you help. - You have nothing that I want.
You were praying, Conan. What were you praying for?
Look at the shrine.
See what you are praying for.
What is there, Conan?
Think.
Show me the desire in your deepest heart.
Valeria.
Where is this Valeria?
With Crom.
- Your god? - She sits by the side of my god.
What I want, you cannot give me.
Yes I can.
You can bring back the dead?
Do as I ask of you,
and I will.
Wake...
and remember.
Tell me what I must do.
Soon.
[ Villagers Chattering ]
[ Dog Barking ]
[ Villagers Cheering ]
Conan, look!
[ Man ] Conan!
[ Cheering Continues ]
Doesn't that animal look familiar?
I think it does.
I'm sorry about what happened the last time.
[ Moans ]
They love us!
We will drink to Dagoth,
the Dreaming God.
What do you want me to do for you?
- That will bring back the woman you love? - Yes.
It is written in the Scrolls of Skelos...
that a woman child born with a certain mark must make a perilous journey.
It is her destiny.
[ Thunderclap ]
My niece, Jehnna, has such a mark.
-I want you to take her on that journey. -To where?
Jehnna will show you.
From the day she was born, she's been prepared for this.
There is a key she must find--
a key only she can touch--
as it was written in the Scrolls of Skelos.
- Where is it? - In a castle.
- Guarded. - By a wizard. Thoth-Amon.
- By a wizard? - That frightens you.
You're afraid of magic.
And you will have to deal with it.
- What good is a sword against sorcery? - Then you're afraid to go?
No. I will find a way.
What does this key unlock?
A treasure.
A jewelled horn. Only she can procure it.
Only she can lead you to it.
And when she has it,
you'll bring her back to me.
Then you will have your reward.
We shall both have everything we want... through magic.
[ Girl Screaming ] No!
- [ Screaming ] - Shh. It's all right. Don't be afraid.
- [ Gasping ] - It's only a dream. It's only a dream.
- No! I saw-- - A dream. Jehnna, it was only a dream.
- Be still. Lie down. - I-l saw it!
- No, you saw-- - I saw it again!
- You saw nothing. A nightmare. - I did!
- Imaginings out of excitement. - I did!
- Go back to sleep. - I saw it again.
- Shh. - I saw it. I did, I saw it.
Tomorrow, you'll start your journey.
You'll need all your strength. Your destiny is at hand.
- [ Thunderclap ] - Sleep.
Shh. Shh.
[ Softly ] Sleep.
All our destinies are at hand, even Conan's, though he doesn't yet know it.
We don't need him, my queen.
I don't need the Captain of the Guard to steal a key.
That is a task for a thief.
What I do need you for,
is to see that this dear child is returned safely to the palace...
with both the treasure and her virginity intact.
I will protect them both.
You better, my friend, for she must be a virgin when she's returned to me...
so she can be properly sacrificed.
One other thing, Bombaata.
It is not wise to have the King of Thieves near the treasure.
So when the key is in my niece's hand,
I want your sword in Conan's heart.
Have the Elite Guard follow. They will strike at the right moment to help you.
Conan must die.
Do you think he's handsome?
[ Bombaata ] Very ugly.
No, not him.
Conan.
Can't you judge for yourself?
But how can I?
How many times have I seen a man?
A real man?
All I've seen is you.
[ Laughing ] Meaning no insult to you, Bombaata.
Yes, he is handsome.
[ Dog Barking ]
[ Birds Twittering ]
Conan, wait! We must go this way.
- Not yet. - But you have to obey me.
Weren't you told? There are rules to every game.
[ Conan ] I believe you, but there's magic in this game.
You'll have to be able to fight it with magic.
Akiro.
[ Chattering, Grunting ]
[ Grunting Continues ]
[ Grunting ]
Crom.
- What are they going to do? - Have lunch.
[ Screaming ]
[ Screaming ]
[ Screaming ]
Those savages should thank me for sparing them a terrible stomachache.
Why would they want to eat someone as old and as sour as you?
[ Coughing ] They thought if they digested me,
my magic would be in their blood.
At least they could have washed you first.
[ Grunting ]
[ Coughing ]
I need you.
I'm yours.
[ Crows Squawking ]
[ Conan ] Tell me more about this key.
[ Jehnna ] Oh, it's not an ordinary key.
- It's a jewel. - A jewel?
Yes. The heart of Ahirman.
- Well, can it be worn? - Only by me.
No one else dare touch it.
[ Birds Squawking ]
[ Villagers Chattering ]
If there is anything here that you like...
try not to take it.
I know when to steal... and when not to.
[ Laughing ]
[ Yelling, Cheering ]
[ Screaming ]
Get her. Get her!
- What did she do? - She came with the bandits to raid our village.
The others are dead. Now it's her turn,
after we have our fun with her.
- [ Screaming ] - Don't kill her too soon!
- Save her! - Thieves should be hanged.
Conan, there are six of them against her.
One, two, three-- I think you're right.
And she's tied to the stake!
Do something!
[ Crowd Cheering, Screaming ]
[ Cheering, Screaming Stops ]
- [ Crowd Screaming ] - [ Screaming ]
[ Screaming ]
[ Screaming ]
[ Groaning ]
[ Whirring ]
[ Crowd Mumbling ]
[ Crowd Gasping ]
[ Screaming ]
Stop.
I think we made a friend.
Wait here.
- What do you want? - To come with you.
Be off!
Let me speak to Conan.
I said be off!
[ Screaming ]
[ Screaming, Yelling ]
[ Grunting, Yelling ]
[ Conan ] Stop!
Leave.
I swear that if Conan will let me ride with him,
I will give my life for him.
We shall see.
The castle of Thoth-Amon.
It holds the key.
Come bring her, Conan.
- We leave now. - [ Conan ] ln the morning.
I'm the leader here.
Lead in the morning. It will be better.
- We must rest. - My thinking exactly.
Sleep.
In the morning you will touch the heart of Ahirman.
The first to do so in a thousand years.
Look!
Jehnna. Jehnna!
Jehnna!
Akiro, where is she?
[ Chanting ]
In there!
- Who took her? - A giant bird.
[ Akiro ] A bird of smoke.
Into the boat!
Somebody should stay and watch the horses.
Malak!
I didn't mean me!
I'm rowing.
Too late, my friends,
but come.
Come anyway.
How do we get in? ls there another entrance?
[ Chanting ]
[ Chanting Stops ]
Under here is a way in.
You mean under the water?
You can stay here if you like.
Alone?
They need me.
[ Creaking ]
[ Creaking Continues ]
[ Gasps ] Ooh! [ Grunting ]
Be careful.
Bombaata!
[ Both Grunting ]
[ Liquid Dripping ]
[ Grunting, Straining ]
Wizard it open.
[ Grunting ]
[ Grunting ]
Fine magician you are. Go back to juggling apples.
Aah.
[ Growling ]
[ Growling ]
Aaah!
- Get up! Get it! Get it! - Get up, Conan!
[ Grunting ]
- [ Growling ] - [ Yelling ]
Aah!
[ Growling ]
[ Grunting ]
Aah!
[ Glass Breaking ]
[ Painful Howling ]
Aah!
That's exactly what I would have done. Exactly.
[ Growling ]
There are only two left, Wizard.
And you're behind one of them.
Which one?
[ All ] No! No! Not here! Not this one!
[ Sword Bangs Floor ]
[ Glass Shattering ]
[ Loud Clanging ]
[ Clanging Stops ]
Bombaata?
Bombaata?
Bombaata!
Bombaata!
I need you!
Bombaata!
- Bombaata! - It's all right. It's all right.
Crom.
[ Creaking, Explosions ]
[ Jehnna Screaming ]
Out! Out of here!
- Hurry! Hurry! - Run!
[ Jehnna Screaming ]
No-o-o!
[ Thunderclap ]
[ Jehnna Screaming ] Stop! Aah!
[ Jehnna ] Bombaata!
[ Akiro ] All an illusion.
[ Horse Whinnies ]
[ Screaming ]
[ Jehnna ] Help! Bombaata!
Help me! Bombaata, where are you? Put me down, do you hear me?
- [ Shrieking ] - Look out, you fool!
[ Screaming ]
[ Man Groaning ]
[ Swords Clank ]
[ Both Yelling ]
- [ Yelling ] - [ Grunting ]
[ Painful Moaning ]
Bombaata, stop!
Why?
I thought you were going to hurt the girl.
This is one of the queen's guards! Why did they attack us?
Not by her order.
[ Coyote Howling, Crickets Chirping ]
[ Rock Scraping Sword ]
Mmm.
Wait, wait. This is much better.
Akiro's own magic mixture. Let me help you.
- What do you think you're doing? - Covering your wound.
- My wound is lower. - We don't want an infection to spread.
I'll spread your head open.
This is what the world has come to.
You try to help somebody...
and what do you get instead of thanks?
Threats.
Now yell if it hurts.
I suppose nothing hurts you.
Only pain.
After we return to Shadizar,
what will you do?
I'll find my kingdom,
and a queen to sit beside me.
What kingdom?
The promise... I was "kingdomed."
No. [ Chuckles ]
The kingdom I was promised.
- What queen? - Valeria.
- Valeria. - Valeria.
What is she like,
this... Valeria?
[ Coyotes Howling ]
Do you see this woman over there?
- Zula? - Valeria is like her.
She doesn't look like her,
but she has the same spirit.
The same--
The same, uh--
Strength?
Strength. Strength.
And she's a warrior too?
A great warrior...
and a great woman.
Could there ever be...
anyone else but her?
Another queen?
Lot on your knife.
Not... on your life.
Excuse me.
I must get up now.
[ Groans ]
How do you feel?
Welcome.
You are welcome.
[ Sighs ]
I didn't know women could be warriors.
All my tribe are warriors.
Well, it seems that men like women warriors.
Some.
Do you think that I could ever be one?
I could teach you how to use this.
Yes! Please!
Now, the power is in the wrists.
Oh, I see. Like this?
That's right. They've got to stay loose.
- It takes practice and strength. - [ Coughing ] Wait!
Wait! Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Hold on.
If you're going to learn how to fight,
then learn with a real weapon.
Not with a toothpick.
Here. I'll show you.
Stand like this.
Yes. You do it. Try it.
And then swing it over your head.
- Oh! - Oh.
I'll help you. Swing over your head.
- [ Sword Whooshing ] - Ow!
Good.
Now you're ready to take on anybody.
[ Dull Thud ]
[ Wolf Howling ]
[ Horses Whinnying ]
How do you attract a man?
What I mean is, suppose you set your heart on somebody.
What would you do to get him?
[ Growls ] Grab him! And take him.
You'd grab him, and... and take him.
Take him! Like that.
- What did she mean? - What did she say?
Well, she said that if she wanted a man,
she'd, she'd reach out and take him.
Good idea.
But then what?
I mean, you've got him. What do you do with him?
That's easy. You see, you just--
You, uh--
Well, you see... in order for a man to really know a woman,
and, and for her to know him, they have to, uh--
Well, they have to... to join.
- Join. - Uh--
Uh... get together.
You see, he has to take his...
his, uh, uh-- and grab her by the--
Uh, there you are. Joined.
I mean, how do you think flowers grow?
- Through this? - Yes.
- Is this the only way? - Yes.
- We can't go around it? - I go where I feel myself led.
So I've noticed.
[ Horses Whinnying ]
- [ Grunts ] - [ Rock Creaking ]
[ Creaking Continues ]
[ Coughs ]
That way.
[ Grunts ]
[ Screams ]
[ Squeaking ]
[ Bombaata Grunts ]
Shouldn't one of us go back and stand guard?
Bombaata.
Together.
- [ Stone Creaking ] - [ Men Grunting ]
Here. Let me help.
Malak, go inside and see if there's a lock. [ Grunting ]
- You mean in there? - Go!
[ Creaking ]
I found something.
- Let go. Easy. - [ Coughing ]
[ Swallows Hard ]
[ Humming ]
"It is written in the Scrolls of Skelos...
"that the horn will be found...
"by a woman child, a virgin,
"who will have a mark upon her.
"And when the horn is placed once more...
"in the forehead of the uh, uh, Dreaming God,
"Dagoth will arise.
"Then let men fear.
"Death to the world.
The woman child will be sacrificed."
- Stop her! The whole world-- - Be silent!
[ Rumbling ]
Crom!
Death to the world.
Life for Valeria.
The girl's destiny isn't only to deliver the horn.
It's just writing on a wall.
She is to be killed. Sacrificed!
We shall see.
Destiny or not.
Everybody out.
- Out! - [ Grunting ]
Wait! It's worth a fortune.
[ Slight Clattering ]
[ Armor Clanking Slightly ]
- We come in peace. - Then let us go in peace.
Let the girl come forward.
We've been waiting for her all our lives.
We are the keepers of the horn. It belongs to us.
- No longer. - Who are you?
- Conan. - I have heard of you.
- You know the legend written on the wall of the crypt? - From the day of my birth.
You know what will happen if the horn is placed back in the forehead of Dagoth.
The god will live again.
And we who give him life will stand by his right hand...
and rule the world with him.
You will die in the great evil that will come from his rebirth!
We will control him.
No one is able to control him!
His power and his evil are too great!
Give us the girl, or we'll take her.
Enough talk!
[ Yelling ]
Back to the crypt!
[ Swordplay Echoing ]
[ Yelling ]
- [ Swords Ringing ] - [ Men Yelling, Groaning ]
[ Groaning ]
- Bombaata! Get out! - [ Man Yelling ]
Out! Let's get out of here!
[ Men Grunting ]
[ Armbands Clanking ]
Behind the dragon there's a tunnel.
It could be our only way out.
The jewel. Take the jewel!
Hurry. Hurry!
- [ Grunting ] - [ Creaking ]
That way.
Malak! Malak, come on!
[ Grunting Continues ]
Malak!
- [ Armbands Clanking ] - [ Men Yelling ]
[ Groans ]
[ Swords Clanking ]
- [ Grunts ] - [ Clanks Armbands ]
It's the leader! He's a wizard.
[ Grunts Twice ]
[ Scraping ]
He's forcing the mouth open!
Well, stop him! Kill him or something!
My dagger is gone. You kill him!
Not me. It's bad luck to kill a wizard.
Wait. There is a better way to take care of a wizard.
[ Grunting Continues ]
[ Chanting ]
- [ Gasps ] - [ Chanting ]
[ Growling ]
[ Panting ]
- [ Strained Groaning ] - [ Yells ]
- [ Portal Crashes Down ] - [ Sighs ]
- Well done, Akiro. - [ Groans ]
Enter the tunnel.
- [ Tearing ] - [ Bombaata ] Don't stop. Hurry!
- [ Yelling ] - [ Rocks Crashing ]
[ Rumbling ]
[ Grunting ]
[ Grunting Continues ]
[ Coughs ]
[ Horses Whinnying ]
Run. Run!
- Where are the others? - They are coming. Don't worry. Go.
[ Horse Whinnies, Gallops Off ]
- They've gone. - And taken their horses.
- Or been captured. Let's flee! - Wait.
Bombaata took her.
Taramis planned it from the beginning.
We get the horn, her guards will kill us,
and Bombaata takes the girl and the horn back to her.
And her promise to you?
A lie.
- Where are we going? - To Shadizar.
- What for? - To stop Jehnna's sacrifice.
But it's her destiny. It can't be stopped.
You don't have to come.
- I will. - I will.
I won't! I mean, what's in it for us?
What are we? Some charitable institution? We're thieves!
Go! I won't help.
[ Distant Voices Approaching ]
Hey!
Hey, wait for me!
You know you can't do without me!
Go! Go! Wait, Conan. Wait!
[ Horses Whinnying ]
Do you have the treasure?
[ People Gasping ]
[ Gasps ]
Bring it to me.
[ Footsteps Approaching ]
[ Horses Approaching ]
Reserves to guard the palace.
There must be hundreds of them around. We can't get in there.
Well, you can't say we didn't try.
The front gate cannot be the only way to get in.
Oh, it isn't. The--
Malak?
Behind the waterfall, there's an entrance. It used to be an exit.
My cousin's sister's brother dug his way out there...
when he was a prisoner at Shadizar.
Today is your birthday.
All of Shadizar is celebrating.
Drink.
To life! For Dagoth.
For Dagoth.
[ Yelling ]
- [ Grunts ] - [ Sputters ]
## [ Minstrels Playing Brightly ]
Oh, Dagoth. God of gods.
Ow!
My cousin's sister's brother never said anything about bars.
How do we get back up?
The bars were put up after your sister's brother's cousin escaped.
Cousin's sister's brother. How many times do I have to tell you that?
- You said sister's brother's cousin. - Who cares whose it is!
- [ Grunts ] - What difference does it make?
[ Grunting ]
## [ Continues ]
At the first sign of life in our god,
the girl must be sacrificed.
Or as the Scrolls of Skelos say, "A catastrophe will befall us."
[ Priest ] Oh, Dagoth. God of gods.
Power above all power.
[ Rock Clattering ]
- Yah! - [ Guards Growling ]
[ Men Grunting ]
- [ Battle Cry ] - [ Blades Ringing ]
[ Men Grunting ]
[ Yells ]
[ Thunder Crashing ]
[ Men Murmuring ]
[ Thunderclap ]
Kill her!
Save the girl!
- [ Loud Groan ] - [ People Screaming ]
[ Thunder Crashing ]
- [ Women Screaming ] - Kill her! Kill her!
She must be sacrificed!
[ Crowd Yelling, Screaming ]
- [ Thunder Crashing ] - [ Screaming Continues ]
[ Screams ]
[ Inaudible Yelling ]
[ Women Screaming ]
[ Thunder Continues ]
No!
- [ Jehnna Screams ] - [ Dagoth Roars ]
[ Groans ]
- [ Roaring Continues ] - Get back!
- [ Dull Thud ] - [ Roaring ]
[ Roars ]
[ Man Screaming ]
- [ Roaring Continues ] - Down the steps!
- [ Grunting ] - [ Roaring ]
[ Screams ] No!
[ Yelling ]
[ Screams ]
[ Roars ]
- [ Screams ] - [ Roaring Continues ]
[ Knife Clattering ]
Run!
- [ Screams ] - [ Roars ]
[ Thunderclap ]
[ Thunderclaps Continue ]
- [ Rumbling ] - [ Crashing ]
His horn is his life! Tear out the horn!
[ Yells ]
[ Roaring ]
[ Grunting ]
- [ Dagoth Roaring ] - [ Conan Grunting ]
[ Horn Tearing ]
[ Roaring ]
- [ Grunting, Straining ] - [ Bellowing ]
[ Loud Bellowing ]
[ Roaring ]
[ Roaring Continues ]
[ Thunderclap ]
[ Yells ]
## [ Minstrels Playing ]
- Zula. - [ Crowd Murmuring ]
I need a Captain of the Guards.
I see no reason why a woman wouldn't do as well as a man.
[ Murmuring Continues ]
- You. - Me?
Come here.
[ Crowd Murmuring ]
I understand that every king or queen must have a fool.
- [ Crowd Laughing ] - Do I qualify?
More than qualify.
Will the world's greatest wizard come forward, please?
At your service.
One cannot rule without wisdom.
- Let me instruct you in the fine arts of mystical-- - Later.
Rule Shadizar with me.
I will have my own kingdom; my own queen.
[ Akiro Narrating ] So it was that Conan mourned his lost Valeria.
At length, he sought adventure in distant lands...
and trod the jeweled thrones of the earth...
beneath his sandaled feet...
until, at last, he found his own kingdom...
and wore his crown upon a troubled brow.