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Christine CD1

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Now, on the day I was born
The nurses all gathered round
And they gazed in wild wonder
At the joy they had found
The head nurse spoke up
Said leave this one alone
She could tell right away
That l was bad to the bone
Bad to the bone
B-B-B-B-B-Bad
Bad to the bone
l broke 1,000 hearts
Before l met you
l'll break 1,000 more, baby
Before l am through
l want to be yours, pretty baby
Yours, and yours alone
l'm here to tell you, honey
That I'm bad to the bone
Bad to the bone
B-B-B-B-B-Bad
Bad to the bone
l'm a-gonna tell you how it's gonna be
You gonna give your love to me
My love is bigger than the Cadillac
After l show you l'll be back
Your love for me has got to be real
Holy shit!
Come on, Arnie.
He's coming. He's changing his shirt.
That's noise pollution, what you're doing.
You might as well be dumping toxic waste on our lawn.
Hey, Dennis. l'll be right there.
Just leave it. lt's okay.
Go on. lt's okay.
Arnie, your lunch!
Try and keep it cold. There's yogurt in there.
Right.
Slow down !
Are you guys having a war?
She's pissed otf 'cause l'm taking shop. My dad too.
lt won't embarrass them when you fix their stupid Volvo for free.
- What? - Last night, we're playing Scrabble.
It's neck-and-neck between me and her. We blew my dad away early.
So, at the end, l had this choice of ''ratio'' for five lousy points...
- or... - Or what, Arnie?
''tellatio'' for 24 points and the game.
- What'd she do? - She won by seven points...
because obscenity's not allowed in Scrabble.
- And it's in the dictionary! - You jerk, Arnie. Jesus.
You know, Arnie, l was thinking--
Uh-oh.
No, seriously.
Now that we're gonna be seniors, l figure it's about time...
that we got you laid.
- You know, like this year, huh? - You need a girl to get laid.
- What about Gail Justin? - l don't like her mustache.
Fuck you! What do you care if you get a little hair in your mouth?
Okay. How about Sally Hayes? She's cute.
- She's a sophomore! - So what? She's a walking sperm bank.
l know. Come on.
l don't have the minimum deposit to open an account.
Are you kidding? You carry your lite savings between your legs.
Come on, Arnie.
l think maybe l'll just beat off.
Are you playing football this year or what?
Somebody's got to pick it up when you fumble.
- Hey, Terry. - How's your gimpy knee?
lt's better. Coach wants me to practice.
Yeah? lt's about time. l've been eatin' dirt with your name on it for weeks.
Hi, Dennis.
Oh, hey, Roseanne. How you doing?
I'm okay. They gonna let you play tootball?
Yeah.
Doc says l'm as good as new.
Then I guess l'lI be seeing you out there.
l hope so.
Well, T.T.F.N.
Yeah. Ta-ta for now.
I wouldn't put that in my mouth.
- You don't know where it's been. - Get outta here.
But we know where it hasn't been. With you.
- Having trouble with your locker? - No.
- Did you see the new girl? - l just got here!
- l'm in love, and l'm fussy. - l never noticed you were fussy.
Drop dead, Cunningham.
- What's her name? - l don't know. She's in the office.
She looks smart, but she's got a slut's body.
Oh, shit. Here she comes.
l think you'll like it here, Leigh.
Give me something for my lap.
We have a good band. Went to the Rose Parade. Not a bad way to meet boys.
l would like to get involved with the yearbook.
We have a territic yearbook staff. Won a prize last year.
So, what about admitting Red China into the U. N.?
- l think we already did that. - Yeah, but...
do you think it was a good idea?
She smiled at me.
l want to have deep, meaningful sex with her.
- Go get her, Bemis. - Think l should?
You've got nothing to lose but your virginity.
Dennis, can you give me a hand?
- I can't-- - Yeah.
- He doesn't have a chance. - l don't think so either.
She's much too classy for him.
- There you go. - What did you do?
Lucky. See you at lunch.
Hey, Charley. Have you seen Arnie?
- Yeah. He's still in the shop. - What's the matter?
Buddy Repperton has his lunch.
- Buddy Repperton. - Hi, Dennis--
Come on, pizza face.
You want it? Come get it!
lf it's yours, why isn't your name on here anywhere?
''Arnie Cuntingham.''
Why doesn't it say Cuntingham?
Just take it, and let's go eat.
That's all you got to do. Come on.
That's funny, Buddy, real funny.
Go get Mr. Casey.
Come on. You want to go for it?
Put the knife down.
- Put down the knife. - You want to make me?
You've got a knife and he doesn't. That makes you a chicken shit.
- Yeah. That's chicken shit. - Yeah?
- Put it down. - Yeah, put down the knite.
Put down the knife, okay?
Get him, man !
How do you like that, dickface?
AlI right, break it up! Right now.
You kids take a walk. Get lost.
Not you, Moochie.
- l ain't been doing nothing. - You all right, Dennis?
Yeah, l'm okay.
ReaI cute. Three on one.
They started it.
- That's not true. - Shut up, cuntface!
Shut your mouth!
l don't have to listen to garbage like that, Buddy!
What were you saying?
Repperton's got a knife.
You fucking liar!
lt's a switchblade.
That's bullshit, Mr. Casey. He's lying. l swear to God.
Did Repperton here pull a knife on you?
Yeah.
Empty your pockets, Buddy.
Fuck l will. You can't make me.
lf you mean l don't have the authority, you're wrong.
Try it, you bald fuck, and l'll knock you through the wall! Fuck!
You two boys go up to the office. Stay there.
Don't go anywhere. You've got enough trouble.
Now...
if you don't empty your pockets right now, l'm gonna call the cops.
Go to the office, Buddy.
I'll fix you!
You're gonna wish you were never fucking born!
So, all in all, it wasn't a bad first day.
Think Repperton will try to get even?
No, he's a douche bag.
He'll tind somebody else to pick on.
- They kicked him out, you know. - Good.
They kick Moochie out?
Probation.
Those assholes.
Stop the car! Quick! Go back!
- What's the matter? - l want to look at her!
- All right, Arnie. - Just go back. All right?
Jesus Christ.
What is it?
Do you know someone who lives here?
What?
Jesus.
Be careful, Dennis.
- This is a piece of shit. - She could be fixed up.
- Yeah. - Oh, she could be really tough.
Forget it. This baby's got 93,000 miles on it.
Probably 193.
I don't care.
- l bet it won't even start. - She'll start.
You need these.
How much do you want for her?
- Whatever it is, it's not enough. - Jesus, Arnie.
Sonny, you ever owned a car before?
- Yeah, he owns a Mustang-- - No. l just got my license.
Name's George LeBay.
Arnie Cunningham. What are you asking?
Start her up.
Really?
Her name's Christine.
l like that.
Come on. We gotta get going.
My asshole brother bought her in September, '57.
You got your new model year in September.
Brand-new, she was.
She had the smell of a brand-new car.
About the finest smell in the world, except maybe for pussy.
When he got her, she had six miles on the odometer.
Goddamn Roland went through hell and back with Christine.
lf your brother loves this car so much, why is he selling it?
'Cause he's stone cold dead.
Died six weeks ago.
So, Mr. LeBay...
how much do you want for her?
l've been asking 300.
l'll make it 250 tor you.
250? This isn't worth 50 bucks.
The money's not important, and there'll be no bringing her back...
'cause I'm selling this shit hole and buying me a condo.
You got a deal.
l'll get the pink slip.
WiIl you stop and think about this tor a moment?
- Where are you getting the money? - l've been saving all summer.
- For college. - You already have a car.
He's screwing you.
You could get a decent car for that much money.
Christine is decent.
The guy's weird, Arnie.
He's fucking weird.
- So that was 300? - Yeah, that's it.
- You said 250. - 250 would do it.
It this is a good idea, let's just come back tomorrow.
Do you realize she's 20 years old?
l mean, that makes her officially an antique.
Great. DarneIl's junkyard is full of official antiques.
l'm buying her. l don't care what you say.
It's your funeral, man.
Would you give Arnie a break?
He doesn't know what he's doing.
You don't know half as much as you think you do...
shitter.
You did what?
- She's outside. - You're kidding, right?
You can't buy a car. What are you talking about?
- You're 17 years old. - Oh, boy.
Actually, you're wrong.
l couldn't finance it, but buying it for cash is no problem.
Registering a car at 17 is something else...
and for that l need your permission.
You know how we do things.
You could've consulted with us.
l've consulted with you about every damn thing I've ever done.
lf it's something l want, l get outvoted, two to one!
This is no committee meeting. l bought the car, and that's it!
lt most certainly is not it!
How could you have let him do this?
l didn't let him. He wanted the car, and he bought it.
l tried to talk him out ot it.
l doubt you tried very hard.
- Yeah, well, l'm going home. - l think you should.
That's it. I'm getting the fuck out of here.
- What kind of lang-- - What did you say!
You wanted me in college courses. l'm there.
You wanted chess club instead of band. l'm there too.
l've managed 1 7 years without embarrassing you or landing in jail.
l'm gonna have this one thing!
You are not keeping any car at this house.
Fine!
Thanks for the milk.
- What's the problem? - Could you honk your horn for me?
Christine's doesn't seem to work.
- Ah. Sure. - Thanks.
Stall 20.
Get it over there and shut it off...
before we all choke to death.
Kiddo, if you sold him that piece of shit, you ought to be fuckin' ashamed.
l didn't sell it to him. l tried to talk him out of it.
You should have tried harder.
l knew a guy who had a car like that once.
Fuckin' bastard killed himself in it.
Son of a bitch was so mean...
if you poured boiIing water down his throat...
he would have pissed ice cubes.
Okay. That's the last time...
you run that mechanical asshole in here without an exhaust hose.
I catch you doin' it one time, and you're out. You understand?
- Huh? - Yes.
l'm gonna tell you something else right now.
I don't take any shit trom you kids.
This place is for working stiffs, gotta keep their cars runnin'.
lt's not for rich-assed, snot-nosed kids draggin' on the Orange Belt.
l don't allow no smoking in here neither. You go out in the junkyard.
- l don't smoke. - Don't interrupt me, punk.
Don't interrupt me. Don't get smart.
- Ah, sir? - What?
Those men over there are smoking. Better tell them to stop.
You trying to help your buddy right out of here, Chuck?
Then shut your pie hole.
l know a creep when l see one.
l think l'm looking at one right now.
You're on probation. You get it?
You screw around with me...
l don't care how much money you paid up in front...
l'll throw you out on your ass! You got it?
- Huh? - Yes, sir.
Good.
Now get the hell out of here. We're closed.
You gonna be okay?
Yeah. l'm okay.
You know, you better find yourself some other charity besides me and Christine.
What is it about that car?
I don't know.
Maybe it's just that for the first time l've found something uglier than me.
And l know l can fix her up.
You're not ugly, Arnie.
I know what l am.
Queer, maybe, but not ugly.
Fuck you.
Oh, bug out, Dennis. You don't need this shit.
Where have you been? You had us worried sick!
You don't just up and drive off whenever you--
As l walk along l wonder
What went wrong with our love
A love that was so strong
He's done all this shit in three weeks.
Look how cockeyed he works.
He's got tuckin' brand-new windshield wipers...
for a busted windshield.
Well, the boy does have good hands.
Good hands.
Bad taste in cars.
You know, Papa, you can't polish a turd.
When l said you could scrounge through that shit pile out back...
l didn't mean you could build your whole fuckin' car with my stuff.
What do you care? You're not doing anything with it.
Hey! Don't think you got the gold key to the crapper.
Nobody takes advantage of me, understand?
Yeah.
lf it wasn't for me, it'd cost you a shit pile to put this heap together.
l know.
Look.
l know you ain't got money falling out of your asshole.
lf you did, you wouldn't be here.
Maybe we could work out some kind of a deal.
You...
pick up around the place.
Do a few lubes...
put the toilet paper on the little spools...
shit like that.
Do that and you can--
you can raid my junk pile for whatever you want.
l might even throw in a few bucks.
l'll have to think about it.
WeIl, don't think about it too long! l'll throw you out on your fuckin' ass.
Forever, my darling
My love will be true
Always and forever
I'll love just you
Just promise me, darling
Your love in return
May this fire in my soul, dear
Forever burn
My heart's at your command, dear
l'll bet you a dollar she says no.
Just 'cause she shot you down?
She says no to everybody.
Look what she's doing to that pencil.
l wish l was an eraser.
Go on, studley. Ask her out.
Mind your own business. Just read the book.
Yeah. Come on. Just don't tip the table over.
What are you reading?
- History. - Oh.
- lt's pretty boring, huh? - Yeah.
Listen, do you like music?
What about dancing?
Yes.
Do you think you might...
want to go dancing with me...
like maybe this Friday night after the game?
l'm sorry. I can't.
Why not?
l have a date.
Mr. Gilder! Are you lost?
No, ma'am.
Why don't you return to your own seat and get back to work.
Yeah.
Arnie, stay here so we can talk this over.
Mister, this is not a hotel you can just drop into.
- l don't need this. - What do you need?
- l need to leave. l'm late. - You come back here this instant.
Oh, shit.
Greetings to you too.
Hey, man, no glasses. You're lookin' good.
l can't make it. l meant to call you, but l forgot.
ls Dennis going with you?
- Are you going with him? - Am l?
No. l've gotta do an errand for Darnell.
- You need a ride? - Got his car. Thanks, though.
l'm sorry about the movie, but this is work. Gotta go.
- Don't worry about it. - Did you have plans with Dennis?
You are going to have no friends at all if you keep treating people this way.
Get off my back!
You're his best friend. What's going on?
l don't know. l hardly see him anymore.
Neither do we.
Ever since he bought that car he's been obsessed with it.
And you know what else?
When we signed the registration papers at Town Hall...
they told us the man who owned that car last...
died in it of carbon monoxide poisoning.
Jesus. Does Arnie know about that?
Arnie doesn't know anything anymore.
What the hell do you want?
l know about your brother.
l know he died choking on exhaust fumes.
You don't know shit, kid.
My brother died 'cause he wanted to.
He ran a rubber hose from the exhaust pipe.
Arnie wouldn't have bought it if he'd known somebody died in it.
Either you're dumb or you don't know your friend very well.
He had the same look my brother always had.
Probably the only thing my brother ever Ioved in his life was that car.
No shitter ever came between him and Christine. lf they did, watch out.
His five-year-old daughter choked to death in it. He wouldn't get rid of it.
He rode around without a care in the world except for Christine.
Only time l ever interfered was when Rita killed herself.
- Who's Rita? - His wife!
He didn't care a rat's ass about her.
She died the same way he did.
Then l made him get rid of it.
For decency, you know.
Of course, the car came back three weeks later.
What do you mean, ''came back''?
Keep a-knockin', but you can't come in
Come back tomorrow night and try it again
You said you loved me and you can't come in
You said you loved me
All right. Fifty. Pass on go.
Ready?
Want me to go deep or flat?
Flat. l'll hit you on the second shot comin' around.
Hey, Trelawney.
- ls that Cuntingham's car? - Yep.
l know where he keeps it.
Down...
set, go!
Fucking shit!
Get a stretcher! Come on!
''5,000 Dirty Limericks.''
Ought to keep you busy for a while.
This is the third time l've come by.
Must be dynamite drugs. You're always asIeep.
Doesn't quite kill the pain.
Rockbridge hasn't won a game since you got hurt.
That makes you a hero, right?
Did l tell you that l'm not gonna be playing football again? Ever.
The doctor said that one centimeter more...
and l would have been paralyzed trom the waist down.
Shitters did some job on you, huh?
So what's this about you and Leigh Cabot?
- We like each other okay. - Ho-ho. Listen to Mr. Cool.
She just happens to be the most beautiful girl in the school.
Well, it's not what you think. l really...
respect her mind.
She lusts after my body. What can I say?
Fuck you.
l saw you guys at the football game.
How'd you ever get that car tixed up like that?
Oh, just plain old-fashioned hard work.
l still can't keep her at home.
Mom says it makes the yard look crowded.
l'm surprised they let you register it.
l told them it they didn't, l'd drop school.
Are you serious?
They just don't want me to grow up because they'd have to face getting old.
Has it ever occurred to you...
that part of being a parent...
is trying to kill your kids?
See you around, pal.
l'm sorry, Arnie. l can't.
What's the matter? What's wrong?
l can't. Here.
ln that car.
What are you talking about? Why not?
'Cause l hate that car.
You care more about that car than me.
That's crazy, Leigh.
Who do you spend more time with?
Look-- You're gonna get a cold. Come on.
I thought girls are supposed to be jealous of other girls, not cars.
This car's a girl.
Oh, pIease.
Cut it out. Don't.
What? You don't like me slapping your girl?
It seems Iike nobody likes my car these days.
Oh, shit!
You're mine
And we belong
Together
Yes, we belong together
Yes, it belongs to only me
What the hell are you doing?
Get your goddamn hands off her!
Whoa, whoa! Hey!
You gonna be all right?
Yeah, l'm fine now.
You scared the hell out of me.
Then get rid of that car.
l'm not going in it again.
Wait a minute. Don't you blame your choking on Christine.
lt happened, Arnie.
When l choked, something happened. The radio came on.
- Everything got bright. - So, what are you saying?
l could've died, and you couldn't even help.
My door was locked.
You didn't want that man to help me either!
l thought he was attacking you! l could have done the Heimlich maneuver.
But you didn't.
There are other things. That radio.