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Cactus Flower CD1

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Hey in there, something wrong?
Hey, I smell gas.
Julian.
- I'm not Julian. Wake up. - Julian, kiss me.
Sorry, Julian, whoever you are.
Who are you? What are you doing?
Mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.
- You were kissing me. - I lost my head.
- How did you get in here? - You left your gas on.
Gas?
I'm alive!
I blew it!
I blew it! Oh, boy, I really blew it!
Take it easy. Well, you're lucky I broke in.
- Why did you? - I thought you were dying.
That was the whole idea.
Why don't you go back and mind your own business...
...like everybody else in New York City?
Okay, lady.
That's the last time you catch me saving your life.
Damn it, you made me blow it!
Well, it happens you were going about it all wrong.
You're supposed to put your head in the stove.
It's a second-hand stove. There were no directions.
- Why did you do it? Because of Julian? - How do you know about Julian?
You called me that while you were kissing me.
I wasn't kissing you. You were kissing me.
- By the way, is that all you did? - There wasn't much time.
I'm sorry. I guess I should be grateful.
- What's your name? - Igor Sullivan.
- Igor Sullivan. That's wild. - I made it up.
- How come you picked Igor? - Igor's my own. I made up the Sullivan.
- It's a good name for a writer. - You're a writer?
You're the writer!
The one who keeps pounding on his typewriter all night?
You drive me crazy.
Why didn't you complain? I could have met you earlier.
- You haven't told me your name. - Toni Simmons.
- Look, Toni, what did this Julian do to you? - Nothing.
He must have done something. Did he cheat on you?
- Beat you? Is he a drunk? A crook? - Worse.
He's married.
For life.
He's got three kids.
I don't know why I'm telling you all this, like you were Dear Abby.
- Is that that dirty rat Julian? - He's not a dirty rat.
He's a dentist. A fine dentist, Fifth Avenue.
With a wife and three kids.
That's one of the things that attracted me to him.
- You go for married men? - I like honesty.
All my life people have lied to me and I can't stand it.
Julian at least had the decency to warn me he had a wife and a family.
I was in love with him, so I accepted it.
At first I thought it was going to be a gay, carefree fling.
Then came all those nights when he couldn't make it.
And then he called tonight and cancelled.
- It was our anniversary. - Anniversary? Of what?
We met one year ago at Stereo Heaven. That's the record shop where I work.
I've been there. I never noticed you.
Well, Julian did. And I noticed him.
He was charming, good-Iooking, sophisticated.
No sweatshirts.
Sorry, I didn't know this suicide was black tie.
Sitting here alone tonight, it suddenly came over me.
I have wasted away my whole life.
- Do you realize I'm 21? - It's a lucky thing I smoke too much.
I was on my way to the corner for cigarettes.
- The corner. Oh, my God! - What's the matter?
I wrote Julian telling him what I was going to do.
What would be the sense of killing myself if he didn't know about it?
- Where are you going? - I've got to get that letter back.
Wait a minute!
- How do you plan to do that? - With string and some chewing gum.
You already broke the law when you attempted suicide.
Don't start monkeying around with the federal government.
I guess you're right.
- What time is it? - It's almost 3:00.
I've got to get up and go to work in the morning.
Go away. I have to sleep.
- I'll take the day off. - Yeah, why kill yourself?
Boy, you must be a pretty corny writer. What sort of things do you write?
- Plays. - What kind of plays?
Very advanced. All the actors keep their clothes on.
Public's not quite ready for that.
- How do you live? - I get an allowance from my father.
Oh, boy! I was beginning to feel sorry for you.
Everybody can't be poor.
If you need anything, just pound on the wall.
- I'll come right away. - Thanks, Igor.
Good night.
Toni?
Igor, I want you to call Julian for me in the morning, before he gets that letter.
- Why don't you call him yourself? - In the first place, I'll be sleeping.
And second place, I don't want to give him the satisfaction...
...of hearing me cry.
Why not throw a scare into him? He deserves it.
He's liable to call the cops or something. Will you do it?
Yes.
He's in the book. Julian Winston, D.D.S., Fifth Avenue.
Julian Winston, D.D.S., Fifth Avenue.
What'll I say to him?
Tell him I'm alive and I never want to see him again...
...as long as I live!
Dr. Winston's office. Who?
Igor Sullivan? Is it about an appointment?
I'm sorry, Mr. Sullivan, but the doctor's with a patient right now.
If you'll just give me the message.
If you insist on speaking to him, then you'll have to call back later.
One lousy caramel, and the whole damned filling come out.
Mrs. Durant, it was a temporary filling, and you were warned to be careful.
Caramels!
Good heavens, I've given up everything else.
- Is the doctor ready for me? - He was 20 minutes ago.
But since you were late, he gave your time to another patient.
- 'Morning, Miss Dickinson. - Thank you, Howard.
Would you please tell the doctor I'm in a hurry?
- Charles is expecting me in half an hour. - Charles?
Mr. Charles, the hairdresser. Today he's taking care of me personally.
I can't keep him waiting.
Really, Mrs. Durant, your teeth are more important than your hair.
You really believe that, don't you?
Sad.
Doctor Winston's office. Good morning, Mrs. Andrews.
The doctor is booked solid today. Let me check with him.
Doctor, Mrs. Andrews is on the phone. Her bridge is wobbling.
Tell her to come at 8:00 tomorrow morning.
Yes, Doctor. And Mrs. Durant is here.
When you get a minute, I'd like to speak to you.
Mr. Greenfield, please don't handle the instruments.
I was reading the other day a dentist in New Jersey has topless nurses.
I didn't know you were interested in reading.
She really turns me off. I thought all Swedish dames were sexy.
I've seen some of those movies, but this one's like an iceberg.
- She's very efficient. - Have you seen her out of her uniform?
I mean, in street clothes? I'll bet she wears corrective hats.
What you don't like about Miss Dickinson is exactly what I do like about her.
She's like a wife, a good wife: Devoted, competent...
...takes care of everything for me during the day.
At night, she goes home, to her home.
And I, with no problems and no cares, go to my girl.
- My life is arranged the way I like it. - Your girl?
- One girl? Singular? - Didn't I tell you? It's been a year.
That's not the old Julian Winston I knew in the old days.
The Dancing Dentist at the Copa every night with a new girl.
Toni has changed all that. I don't want anyone else.
- You mean you're in love with her? - I tried to fight it.
Last night I deliberately broke a date with Toni to go out with another girl.
Airline stewardess: Tall, built, spectacular-Iooking Australian girl.
We went up to her place, had a few drinks. Open.
- Bite. Stay that way. - You can't leave me hanging like this.
- You wanted to see me about something? - Yes, Doctor.
I've been meaning to speak to you about Mr. Greenfield's bill.
- Miss Dickinson, he's an old friend. - He's taking advantage of you.
There are some things a man just can't do.
I won't push for money. I've known him too long.
- You do it. - Well, I'll be happy to.
- What's this? - I ordered you some new shirts.
Yours are frayed around the collar.
You should change laundry. They use too much starch.
- Stop mothering me. - Here's a letter for you, Doctor.
When I'm through with Mr. Greenfield.
Rinse, please.
So, you went up to her place. You had a few drinks...
Oh, yes. The stewardess. Beautiful girl.
- Then what happened? - Nothing. Toni stopped me.
- She showed up? - In my mind.
Suddenly I saw her face before me and I couldn't go through with it.
- I left, walked out. - You wasted a whole stewardess?
Open.
- You going to get married? - Married? Who said that?
- lf you feel that way about your girl... - I feel that way because she's my girl.
You'd never catch me feeling that way about a wife.
I've got a perfect setup. Why spoil it by getting married?
That's a very healthy outlook. What about her?
All girls want to get married. I've been subdivided three times.
Not Toni Simmons. She thinks I'm already married.
You pulled that old stunt, huh?
The minute I met her, I knew this girl could make me do anything.
So just to protect myself in the clinches...
...I told her that I had a wife and three children.
- Three children is a nice touch. - I told it to her right away...
...so everything between us is open and aboveboard.
Very good.
That's such a big, dirty, rotten, filthy lie, it has class.
Now, I'm going to put this back. It should hold you till next week.
All right, bite down hard. That's it. Stay like that.
- Give Mr. Greenfield another appointment. - Yes.
I know you won't have time to go out for lunch today...
...so I made you your favourite sandwiches: chicken and egg salad.
- You always liked them. - lf you say so.
Dr. Winston, I'm so terribly sorry I was late.
It's all right, dear lady. That is all right. But I understand we've been very naughty.
I don't know about you, but I had one little caramel.
Besides being bad for your teeth, Mrs. Durant...
...think of how caramels can hurt those splendid hips.
Isn't he a marvellous dentist?
But with his talents he would have made an even better obstetrician.
- In here, Mrs. Durant. - See you next week.
I listened to you about your girl. Let me tell you about mine.
She's a beautiful girl with a figure like a Greek goddess.
- Great, big, beautiful eyes. - Yeah, but her teeth need work.
- Harvey, you pulled this on me before. - Doctor, Mrs. Durant is ready.
But, Julian, old buddy.
All right, send her in and I'll see what I can do.
But don't you know any girls with straight teeth?
Excuse me, Sergeant... Miss Dickinson.
Dr. Winston asked me to make an appointment for a lady friend of mine.
How about a week from Tuesday at 7:00 a.m.?
- You're kidding. I'm asleep at 7:00 a.m. - I thought this appointment was for a lady.
That's right. We're both asleep at 7:00 a.m.
- I hope I haven't shocked you. - No, but it must be a terrible shock for her.
Will you get me Mrs. Durant's chart, please?
By the way, Mr. Greenfield, who's paying for this treatment?
Put it on my tab.
- There is no more room on your tab. - Julian.
I feel insulted. It isn't as if I'm planning to stick you.
It isn't as if you're planning to pay me, either.
Things are slow for actors this time of year.
- But as soon as the new TV season starts... - How about Thursday at 5:30 p.m.?
- Is that too early? - We'll set the alarm.
- Will you prepare an anaesthetic syringe? - Yes.
You said something about a letter?
Yes, and your tailor called about your fitting.
That's something I can't do for you any more...
...than I can go to the barber for you, which you can also use.
- Oh, my God! - What's wrong?
- Why didn't you show me this before? - I tried to, but...
Doctor!
Are you leaving?
What about Mrs. Durant and the other patients?
- You handle it. - Doctor, really!
If your girlfriends start to come before your patients...
Miss Dickinson, shut up!
Dr. Winston's office.
No, he's not here.
Look, Mr. Sullivan, if it is that important, you'd better tell me about it.
What? Toni is alive? Who is Toni? Hello?
I didn't know dentists made house calls.
I knew it.
- Knew what? - That you wouldn't do it.
A whole day full of appointments...
...and you send a letter that you're going to kill yourself...
...and then don't. - Sorry to disappoint you.
- The whole thing was a fake, wasn't it? - Everything between us is a fake.
Because I broke one lousy date last night?
It happens that I had a very important meeting...
...with an Australian dentist. We were comparing techniques.
Don't try to spare my feelings, Julian. I know you were out with your wife.
If you know, you know.
I've made up my mind, Julian. We're through.
What are you talking about? We're so happy together.
- We are? - I'm happy together.
I've decided to want a man of my own. Exclusively. No more going halfsies.
I packed your pyjamas, toothbrush and your picture.
Toni, this isn't like you.
Hi. I didn't know you had company.
It's only Julian. This is Igor Sullivan.
- I spoke to your nurse on the telephone. - Something wrong with your teeth?
I called to tell you that Toni's alive...
...and you didn't have to worry about her letter.
- You feeling all right, Toni? - I'm fine. Thanks.
I wanted to make sure you weren't playing any more tricks with the gas.
- Gas? - Gas.
Gas.
- Toni, I'm a bastard, a no-good bastard. - No, Julian.
- You really tried to kill yourself over me? - Stupid, wasn't it?
I'm a bastard, the biggest bastard in the whole world.
Please, you're starting to make it sound like bragging.
It wasn't your fault. I knew what I was getting into.
- You've always told the truth. - I should've kept my mouth shut.
You couldn't. You're a decent guy. That's why I fell in love with you.
Now I'm returning you to your wife and your children.
I hope you'll be happy.
No, Toni. Everything's going to be all right.
I'm going to make it up to you.
You'll take me away for another fun-filled weekend at some motel.
No more weekends and no more motels. Toni, I'm going to marry you.
How do you mean, marry?
You know, marry, with the judge, the blood test, the license.
- But what about your wife? - I'll divorce her.
- The children? - I'll divorce them, too.
- This isn't funny. - I should have done it a long time ago.
Baby, when I think you were ready to die because of me...
Julian, you really do love me.
Did you ever doubt it?
- Julian, not now. - Why not?
Igor's next door. He can hear everything.
- Igor's been next door before. - But I hadn't met him then.
Look, the sooner we move you out of here, the better.
Now that you're going to be Mrs. Julian Winston.
Imagine that. Me, a married man.
- I mean, me, married to you. - Julian, what's going to become of her?
- Your wife? - Why do we keep talking about my wife?
You're going to have to make some arrangements about her.
- What do you figure on doing? - Simple. Hup, out!
Is that what you'll say when you get tired of me?
- "Hup, out"? - No, this is different, darling.
I love you. My wife and I... I never even knew her.
How did the three children come? United Parcel?
Well, at the beginning I was polite.
Will you stop worrying about my wife? She'll be taken care of.
- What if she refuses to give you a divorce? - She wouldn't dare. Let's forget her.
I can't.
The thought of being a housebreaker sort of spoils things!
A home-breaker. A housebreaker is a crook.
I'm stealing you away from your wife.
You may not believe it, but I have certain standards.
Toni, I haven't wanted to go into this...
...but what if I told you that it's my wife who wants the divorce?
You mean she found out about us?
Let's just say she wants her freedom, too.
In that case, I'll be proud to marry you.
- What the hell are you doing there? - Fixing Toni's window.
If she waits for the janitor, it'll take forever.
Thanks, Igor.
Tell him to get the hell out and come back later.
Julian, don't be so impatient.
Now that we're engaged...
...don't you think we should do something to celebrate?
I know.
Let's do something we've never done before.
You can take me out in the daytime.
Did you get enough sauerkraut?
- I want to meet her. - Who?
- Your wife. - My wife?
I want to get things straightened out with her.
Come on. That really isn't necessary.
I want her to tell me herself she wants to leave you.
She does. Have I ever lied to you?
- You'll arrange it, won't you, Julian? - What?
For me to meet your wife.
It's important she doesn't think of me as some sort of house-wrecker.
- Home-wrecker. - I don't want to hide if I run into her.
Believe me, you'll never run into her.
Julian, if I don't meet your wife, I won't be happy.
If I'm not happy, then you won't be happy.
I'll bet he cheated and used a ruler.
- When am I going to meet her? - You can take my word for it.
- You've got to promise. - I'll do nothing of the kind.
- Now let's just drop the whole thing. - All right, let's drop it.
Do you know what this represents?
- Goodbye, Julian. - "Goodbye"?
It's was very nice knowing you.
Just a minute. Toni, come back here. Wait a minute. Toni!
You'll meet her.
You'll meet her!
- Oh, Se�or Sanchez... - The doctor, he is waiting?
I tried to call you at the UN, but you had left.
The doctor had to cancel his appointments today.
- That's too bad. - But as long as you're here...
...we might as well x-ray that tooth that's bothering you.
I don't mind.
But you're not afraid of Dr. Winston, are you?
It's funny, by nature I am not a coward.
In fact, I'm known in my own country as El Bravo.
El Bravo. How about that?
I have been through six bloody revolutions. At United Nations, I've sat in my seat...
...I've listened to a nine-hour speech by the Bulgarian delegate.
Yet, when it comes to dentists...
Well, we all have our little weaknesses.
- I have several big ones. - Now, Se�or Sanchez.
I cannot help myself.
There is something so provocative about a nurse in uniform.
No frills, no adornments, just the basic woman.
Now, you hold that with your finger.
There we are.
Hold still, Se�or, or the basic woman is liable to x-ray your nose.
Hold still.
There.
Thank you.
There we are.
Miss Dickinson, you're an attractive woman, yet you try to conceal it.
Very successfully, I'd say.
But we Latins have an eye for hidden beauty.
For centuries, our women were covered up with mantillas, long dresses, veils.
In self-defence, we have had to develop an instinct...
...for guessing what was underneath. - I'll give you another appointment.
You're very charming, my dear, and so easy to talk to.
- You are a woman worth knowing. - What about next Friday at 5:00?
- Wonderful! Where shall we meet? - This is for you and Dr. Winston.
I would like for us to have one night, candlelight, soft guitars...
- Will you bring along your wife? - You would not like her. Nobody likes her.
Let's make it for next Friday, after my appointment.
Se�or Sanchez, I can't. You're a married man.
I cannot understand. If I'm a married man, it is my problem.
What has it got to do with you?
I would not be prejudiced if you were married.
Se�or Sanchez, how are you? Come. I can take you now.
I cannot take you now.
Miss Dickinson, I'm sorry I ran out on you this morning.
- I managed. - I knew you would.
You knew I would. I didn't know I would.
But I did. Rearranged your appointments.
Said you had to go to your dentist. That made them happy.
I can always count on you in a jam.
If you don't need me anymore, Doctor, I'm going home.
I'll get that.
Hello?
Don't worry. You'll meet her.
- Miss Dickinson. - Yes, Doctor?
Are you in a hurry this evening?
Why, no, Doctor, if there's anything I can do for you.
I thought maybe you'd like to come out and have a drink with me.
Are you asking me to go out?
Why? Is there somebody else in that closet?
I don't understand.
It's the most natural thing in the world for a doctor to take his nurse out.
After ten years, this is the first time that you have ever invited me.
Better a little late than a little never.
And I suddenly realized that I have no idea...
...of what your life is like outside the office.
Tell me about Stephanie Dickinson, civilian.
- I don't know where to begin. - That's a good place.
- I live in Jackson Heights. - That much I know.
- Alone? - Yes.
No, I live with my sister Anna and her husband and their two boys...
...and a bulldog named Max.
- Sounds cosy. - Yes. I like large families.
I help Anna with the cooking.
After dinner I walk the dog, or I read, watch TV, if there's a good documentary.
- And sometimes we play Monopoly. - Monopoly. That's fun.
And my brother-in-law is very good at it, but he cheats.
Then on Saturdays I take my two nephews to town.
We go to the zoo or the park.
What do you do on your vacation?
That's when I become a different person: independent, adventurous.
- I saddle up my little Volvo... - That's a good car.
It's second-hand. I break away and tool up to Cape Cod.
- Alone? - Yes. Just me, my paintbox and Max.
- Max? - The dog.
For the two weeks, I wear blue jeans and walk around barefoot...
...and paint up a storm.
What about your personal life? I mean...
- You mean men? - Yes.
- At the moment, there are no men. - But there have been?
Doctor, I'm no sex goddess, but I haven't spent my life in a tree.
I was married when I was very young, but it didn't work out.
- Married? I had no idea. - Neither did he.
And once I was very much in love. It lasted for a long time, but...
- But? - He couldn't leave his wife.
- Him, too. - What do you mean, "him, too"?
Nothing. I was thinking of a similar case.
In this job, you don't meet anything but married men.
I suppose all the single ones have good teeth.
Frankly, I hadn't planned on being an old maid.
An old maid? Nonsense. You've got a long way to go.
I've been talking an awful lot and I'm afraid I'll be late for dinner.
Miss Dickinson.
I'm glad we had this little talk.
You're a very rare person: sensitive and generous.
Yes, I guess I'm all right.
I have a feeling that if I found myself in trouble, I could count on you for help.
You know that's true, Doctor.
But sometimes a problem comes up that's so difficult that...
Why don't you try me?
Miss Dickinson, you could do me a great service.
You see I'm desperately in need of a wife.
- Please, don't misunderstand me. - I never expected...
I need a wife temporarily, fifteen or twenty minutes.
Fifteen or twenty minutes?
I'm telling all of this very badly.
I want someone to play the part of my wife.
- Someone like me. - lf only you would.
It wouldn't involve any...
All you'd have to do is tell a certain person that you want a divorce.
You see, I've suddenly decided to get married.
- I guess I didn't tell you. - No, you didn't tell me.
Well, I have. Her name is Toni Simmons.
I'm supposed to give you a message. She's alive.
That's only part of it.
My problem is she thinks I'm already married.
Where did she get such an idea?
I had my reasons.
But I'll straighten that out later. I have to dig up a wife.
Stop digging and tell the girl the truth. Good night.
I can't tell her anything now. She's liable to...
Well, she's so young and she's had a lot of unfortunate experiences.
I'm the first decent man she's ever met.
Are you quoting her, or you?
Toni is a wonderful girl.
She won't get married unless she meets my wife.
She's straightforward, doesn't want to be a housebreaker.
I mean, a house-wrecker. Isn't that sweet?
- Just darling. - She works at Stereo Heaven in the Village.
- lf you would just go and meet her... - I'm sorry. I hate lies.
No more than I do, Miss Dickinson, no more than I.
But to get out of this one, my happiness lies in your two hands.
For years these hands have held nothing but your instruments...
...and your appointment book.
You've managed to handle your happiness without any help from me.
And now you want to use me in this contemptible way.
You tricked me into talking about myself so that...
What you did wasn't very nice, Doctor. Not very nice at all.
You just can't get decent help these days.
I thought you were taking us to the zoo today.
This is better than the zoo. Here, go and buy yourselves an ice cream.
I'll be over there in the record shop. I'll meet you here.
Good.
- Don't you have this in mono? - It's been discontinued.
Let me look in the stockroom. Maybe we still have a copy.
Can I help you?
No thanks. Just browsing.
- When will you get the Horowitz concert? - It should be in later this week.
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
Looking for something in particular?
That Horowitz album, if I order it now, will you mail it to me?
- Certainly. May I have your name, please? - Mrs. Julian Winston.
Do you have an account with us?
No, but my husband does a lot of business here.
- Surely you remember my husband. - I may have assisted him sometime.
I wouldn't be surprised.
- Pardon? - Maybe you didn't catch my name.
Mrs. Julian Winston.
Marcia.
Would you handle this? My customer? I'll take care of this.
Sure.
Mrs. Winston, I'm Toni Simmons. I suppose you came here to see me.
Dr. Winston, my husband, said that you were most anxious to meet me.
Well, here I am.
Did he tell you about our plans?
- The divorce. Naturally. - Well?
- Well, what? - You don't mind?
The doctor and I are in agreement about the divorce.
I can't tell you how good that makes me feel.
- I made your day? - You see, Mrs. Winston...
Call me Stephanie.
After all, I won't be Mrs. Winston much longer.
- Then you do mind? - Of course not.
Things between the doctor and me have become impossible.
I can't tell you how good that makes me feel.
I'm glad.
May I ask you a question?
Are you absolutely sure that you love Julian?
- Do I love him? - Do you?
Madly. Wildly. Desperately.
As long as you're fond of him. I don't want him to end up unhappy.
I understand, especially after he had such a terrible marriage.
It was not so terrible. Our marriage lasted ten years and we...
I notice you're not wearing a ring.
Well, when something is over, it's over.
I just hope that you have better luck with Julian than I did.
I'm sure I will. There's one thing that's bothering me...
I'll be happy to play this for you, if you'll just come...
- Who's going to tell the children? - The children?
It's going to be tough explaining a horrible thing to three young children.
Three. We have to tell them.
Three.
Well, I'll tell them. Julian is no good at that sort of thing.
- How will they take it? - They'll get used to it.
Now I'll be able to devote myself to them full-time.
I've been busy helping Julian with his work.
- Of course, he does have a nurse. - Yes. I hear Miss Dickinson is marvellous.
She is.
One of those sterling old maids, probably madly in love with the boss.
- Did Julian tell you that? - No, not exactly.
But one night when he worked late, I suddenly got jealous of Miss Dickinson.
When I told him about it, he just laughed and laughed.
- Have you ever been jealous of her? - Not me.
A woman who marries Julian must not be the possessive type.
I know Julian must have played around.
After all, when a man has a terrible marriage...
Don't keep saying that. I must go, really.
Mrs. Winston, you asked me a question, and now I want to ask you one.
Are you sure you don't love him anymore?
Of course I don't love him anymore.
But you can't leave a man after so many years without feeling a little pain.
A man with whom you have shared normal, everyday things.
Worrying about his barber, making sandwiches for him.
He loves chicken and egg salad sandwiches.
And buying his shirts, his pyjamas, his handkerchiefs, looking after him.
Planning for him, a man who's all yours.
At least, almost all yours. I don't know what has come over me.
I'm talking nonsense. It must be that music.
You will see that I get that Horowitz album?
Of course. Shall I charge it to Dr. Winston?
I'd better get used to paying for things myself.
- You want it sent to your home? - Yes.
No. Send it to 975 Glenwood, Jackson Heights, Apartment 3A.
You moved out?
I packed everything, children included, and moved in with my sister.
I thought that was the best thing for everybody.
Mrs. Winston!
What about your future? What's going to become of you?
I'll ride into the sunset.
Well, I want to be sure you're all right.
Well, I'll write you every day.
Mrs. Winston!
I want you to know I think you're a very gracious, charming...
...and very brave woman.
Thank you, my dear.
- I thought it was Toni. - What if it had been?
I want to get my electric razor from her apartment.
Why would it be in there?
Because you can't slash wrists with an electric razor.
I took her blades.
- Butt out of my fianc�e's life. - Fianc�e.
Look, dentist, stop stringing the girl along. You're not going to leave your wife.
For your information, sir, Toni and I are getting married.
- She didn't tell me. - Why should she?
Hey, Igor. That's a new towel.
Hello, Julian.
I just heard the good news. Congratulations.
Thanks, Igor. It'll take a while yet.
- First there's the divorce. - We haven't gotten our divorce yet?
Would you give Tarzan here his electric razor?
I'm sorry, Igor. I should have returned it.
So, you haven't gotten the divorce yet?
I'd like to have you in my chair for five minutes.
- Thanks. - Next time, don't come in that outfit.
You want me to get all dressed up to shave?
How come you're so late?
Julian, I had a visitor at the shop this afternoon. Your wife.
- She came? - She was magnificent.
Handled herself beautifully. She's a real lady.
Well, I don't marry just anybody.
- Then everything is all cleared up? - Julian, you lied to me.
Never! What did she tell you? I deny it.
You may not be aware of it yourself, but your wife still loves you.
I'm telling you, your wife still loves you.
Did she not tell you that she agrees to a divorce?
She's only doing it to make you happy. She's crazy about you.
Stay calm. Tell me what the damn fool... What my wife said.
Well, it's not what she said, it's what she didn't say.
Tell me what she didn't say. Word for word.
It was the way she talked about you, your barber, your shirts, handkerchiefs.
I got all choked up.
And she mentioned those chicken and egg salad sandwiches.
You mean to say that she bragged about her damn sandwiches?
She didn't brag. She just told me. It sounded as if they were made with love.
They were made with too much mayonnaise.
Next time I'm going to smack her right across the mouth with it.
There's a cruel streak in you. This fine woman who...
"This fine woman"? Suddenly you're my wife's lawyer.
- You wanted to see her. I fixed it. - That was a mistake.
Maybe if I never met her... But I did and I liked her.
- Especially when I saw her with the kids. - The kids?
She brought the kids?
They were waiting for her across the street.
Not the little girl, just the two boys.
- Must be those damn nephews. - Incidentally, how old is Peter?
Peter?
That's your older boy, isn't it?
Yeah.
Yes, that's Peter all right.
- Let's see, how old would he be now? - You told me he was 8.
- Well, if that's what I told you. - Well, he looked more like 12 to me.
Yes, well... No, it's the younger boy who's 8.
Peter is 12.
That's very interesting, considering you've only been married 10 years.
Come on, Julian, the truth.
Well, all right.
The truth is, Peter was a premature baby. He was born before we were married.
I'm glad. That confirms everything.
How's that?
Here's a woman who gave herself to you before you were married.
That proves it was true love.
For God's sake, Toni.
I'd feel guilty if I did anything to...
Toni, I told you that she wants the divorce as much as I do.
And for a very good reason.
What good reason?
What good reason?
Oh, boy!
Another guy.
Your wife? Another man? I'd be very much surprised.
A man with a normal ego wouldn't lie about that.
Maybe you're right.
The fact that you've been cheated on makes it all seem nicer somehow.
- As long as you're happy. - Why shouldn't she have a boyfriend?
- You have a mistress. - You nut.
Julian, if we're going to dinner and a movie...
Why don't we stay in and scramble something?
- I don't think we ought to do this anymore. - What?
You're getting a divorce. We ought to be more careful.
- We don't want this to get messy. - No. But, baby...
It's only for six weeks while she goes to Reno.
Reno? Hell, I'm going to send her to Mexico for a quickie divorce.
In, out, finished, bingo.
Do you think he'll marry her?
- Who? - Your wife's boyfriend.
- I don't know. Maybe. Who cares? - I'm curious.
- What's he like? What does he do? - I have no idea. I don't know him.
Wouldn't you like to meet him? Look him over?
Toni, you're getting that look. Two, please.
But, Julian, this man may become your children's stepfather.
He may rob your wife, exploit or beat her. You have to arrange for us to meet him.
No.
I'll do it myself. Now that I know her, I'll just call her.
No, you mustn't!
You won't do this one little thing for me?
No!
No!
But it's such a little thing. All we do is find a man...
No!
And, if you'll excuse me, I have to develop some x-rays.
I threw this boyfriend thing at you too quickly.
- I'll get rid of Mrs. Durant and then... - It won't do any good.
Boy, you're getting as prickly as your damn cactus.
- What's going on between you two? - Nothing in particular.
Don't try to fool me, Doc. I have a very good nose for sexual tension.
That's very funny, Mrs. Durant. Very funny.
Open.
- You'll ruin the x-rays. - Now, listen, Miss Dickinson...
You listen to me. I posed as your wife. I did it. I think I did it beautifully.
Too beautifully. Toni thinks you're still in love with me.
- Me? - Not you, my wife.
- How could she get an idea like that? - From you.
Nonsense. I acted like a dignified, civilized, willing-to-be-divorced wife.
I couldn't take my situation lightly because of the children.
Why did you bring them? That's what choked her up.
I always take my nephews out on Saturdays.
If I can't spend my weekends as I see fit, me and my cactus will be glad to resign.
- You know I can't get along without you. - Of course I do.
Help me not as a friend, but as a nurse. It's your professional duty.
Yes. My problems with Toni are beginning to affect my work.
Just now I hurt Mrs. Durant. She felt pain. It's the first time I've ever hurt a patient.
Too bad it wasn't Harvey Greenfield.
You played that part of my wife once and you enjoyed yourself. Admit it.
- Yes. It wasn't too bad. - All right.